MENTAL HELP MAYBE??

MakeLifeBright
MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
edited September 21 in Health and Weight Loss
so, it says I lost 60 pounds, I know my scale is right.. because I weighed my daughter, and when she went to get her physical the nurse told me the same weight for her.

But I am still seeing 200 pounds when I look at my body. Do I need to get my head checked?? I wonder why I can not not accept I am losing weight? I walk around in these baggy clothes, that I think fit me, but my Hubby says they are too big!
I tried to put some clothes away. My Big clothes. but I could not seem to donate them. I put them into the closet with winter clothes, as if I am going to need them in a few months.

Help?!? Is any one else feeling this way? Where your scale says you lose, but you do not see it????
What size should a 135 person wear?? I am wearing 14 shorts and a mens cut size xlarge shirt.
at home I can not put away my 2xl lounge pants, and some 2x and 3xl tshirts.

I want to be sexy I want to be attractive, but I feel like I am still too big to leave my comfort zone. What can I do??

Replies

  • Panda86
    Panda86 Posts: 873
    But I am still seeing 200 pounds when I look at my body. Do I need to get my head checked??

    I am pretty sure this normal, especially if you have been losing weight gradually. I think you get used to the way you are looking over time, and you know you aren't the way you want to look yet, so you think you look the same. You should take out some before and after pics and have a look- then you might be pleasantly surprised :) Continue the great work!
  • JStarnes
    JStarnes Posts: 5,576 Member
    :smile: I've been there & am still there sometimes. If you have any recent candid photos of yourself that may help you to see what you actually look like. Compare new pics to old pics so you can see the difference. I still wear a lot of my bigger clothes, I guess because a lot of my smaller sizes show more of the loose skin - my size 16 pants make my tummy look flat but my 10's squeeze me a bit & I feel like I look bigger in those (stupid logic, I know). Your mind will catch up, just give it time. :flowerforyou: 60lbs is AMAZING! WTG!
  • jrich1
    jrich1 Posts: 2,408 Member
    I can see this, I have been big for so long and lately the more and more I lose people say I am losing weight and people are inspired by me, it blows my mind.
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
    But I am still seeing 200 pounds when I look at my body. Do I need to get my head checked??

    I am pretty sure this normal, especially if you have been losing weight gradually. I think you get used to the way you are looking over time, and you know you aren't the way you want to look yet, so you think you look the same. You should take out some before and after pics and have a look- then you might be pleasantly surprised :) Continue the great work!

    Thank you, I have nott had my picture taken in a couple years.. so I will have to get the camera out some time, and compare. That's a great idea!!
  • SemiSweetRae
    SemiSweetRae Posts: 30
    It's body dismorphia...it's going to take a while for you to see yourself as you are now rather than how you used to be. No one can tell you what you should be wearing at 135lbs. Everyone's body is shaped differently. Prime example me and my best friend are the same weight but I wear a 9-10 at 155 and she wears a 12-13. There will come a time when you will have to get rid of the baggy clothes, but don't force yourself. It's so wonderful that you have lost 60lbs, but you have to accept the weight loss, or else you're going to be just as uncomfortable at 130lbs. Take out old pics of yourself and tape them to a full length mirror, look at what you were and where you are now. You have to visualize what you have accomplished!!!
  • TaraArriola
    TaraArriola Posts: 64
    Here is one piece of advice that I got from someone that has stuck with me and reminds me that I am doing this.

    When your clothes become to big, get rid of them. Don't leave them in your closet, because doing that just gives you an excuse to return to that size. I keep one size bigger in my closet for those times of the month when I am retaining water, but nothing bigger.

    Go shopping and buy you a little black dress. Try it on at the store and look at the mirror in the store. Don't stay in the dressing room, come out and use the mirror in the store. You would be suprised how much encouragement you can get from strangers just looking at you and commenting how nice you look or how good the dress looks on you. Then go home and try it on for the hubby. You will love the reaction that you get.

    Also, do you have a full length mirror in your bedroom? Try getting dressed in front of it. Take time to look at yourself and be proud of yourself. Be proud that you are winning your battle and that your journey has been successful.
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
    Thank You all for the Positive Comments, it really means alot to me!!
  • KarenECunningham
    KarenECunningham Posts: 419 Member
    The best thing you can do for yourself is donate or toss your 'big clothes' and start shopping a little at a time. I find that it helps to take a friend (in my case it is my sister-in-law) or anyone who will be honest with you. The problem with the way they size clothes now is you might wear a different size in different brands and will need to try on new clothes each time you purchase. If money is a big issue check garage sales, thrift stores and consignment shops. Since you can't easily try on clothes at some of those places I would go to department stores first just to try on and establish a general guide line. For me, it takes awhile to adjust to whatever size I am (up or down). I have gone down two sizes and I have given away most of my larger clothes because I don't want them as reminders or options. Good luck to you and congratulations on an amazing weight loss.:flowerforyou:
  • Azadi
    Azadi Posts: 25 Member
    *hugs*

    I know that feeling so well. For me, I know that it's linked to mental illness, depression and bulimia... but honey, it's not crazy. It's emotional.

    I'm not a therapist, but from reading what you wrote, it seems that you've got some ideal in your head of how you want to look, and when you look in your mirror, because you're not seeing *exactly* that, you're panicking and thinking that nothing has changed. Let me tell you, you need to get that imaginary you out of your mind. Focus on Who You Really Are, because you are BEAUTIFUL at any weight. It's easier to see the changes that your body has undergone when you accept yourself and your body wherever it is, and don't try to compare yourself to some imaginary ideal.

    60 pounds is AMAZING physical recovery. Don't let some stupid mirror take that away from you.

    Stay strong!
  • Amy154
    Amy154 Posts: 52
    MLB

    SO been there!!!

    I remember looking in the mirror (many years ago) after a significant weight loss and thinking---oh well---I still don't look like---Diane (my friend)
    But considering she is much taller and always was scrawny--and not a jock, I had to reset my 'what looks good' o meter.
    Pictures before/after are great for ourselves as well as motivating others!!!

    Hoping to be where you are!

    FYI
    I am 5 5---48 yrs
    186
    size 14
    recently I was 12's at 170-175
    I hope to be 10's at 154
    all bottoms---my shoulders and back will always be a large !!

    All that swimming............

    Peace
    A
  • nursee67
    nursee67 Posts: 503
    I have those same issues sometimes. I have lost the weight and definitely some inches but I could not get into a smaller size. But I waited a little and now..I hvae finally moved down. I gave away my bigger uniform pants to a girl who is also losing weight...she appreciated the smaller sizes (cause my big ones were her small ones). Everyday..I look in the mirror and tell myself I am getting there. I have bought 'girl' shirts...the ones with a waist...not general tshirts. You know what? It looks good...wait..I look good. I have to tell myself that everyday...cause it makes the journey so much better. So go buy a smaller size...strut your stuff! You deserve it!
  • TheKitsune6
    TheKitsune6 Posts: 5,798 Member
    I've heard this is normal. People that are used to being larger have issues with seeing themselves smaller, and people that are used to being smaller aren't used to being larger (I'm the latter - pictures still shock and depress me). You can get counseling but first I would suggest even looking into a personal shopper. If you don't know what clothes look good or what sizes you are supposed to wear a personal shopper can help you figure that out. She/He will be able to tell you what kind of cuts and colors flatter you the most.

    I also agree - you want to let go of those older clothes. It's hard but it's just like losing the weight - it's unhealthy to hang on. Let go of what was and embrace the now. It could even help if you asked your husband to assist you. Try on clothes and if he says it's too big put it in a bag and the two of you can drive to the goodwill drop off together. A personal shopper can also help you here, though the hubby will save you some money :)

    Congrats on the weight loss! It takes so much strength and determination to accomplish what you have done. Don't let this speed bump slow you down and you'll be fine :)
  • pdhight
    pdhight Posts: 13
    so, it says I lost 60 pounds, I know my scale is right.. because I weighed my daughter, and when she went to get her physical the nurse told me the same weight for her.

    But I am still seeing 200 pounds when I look at my body. Do I need to get my head checked?? I wonder why I can not not accept I am losing weight? I walk around in these baggy clothes, that I think fit me, but my Hubby says they are too big!
    I tried to put some clothes away. My Big clothes. but I could not seem to donate them. I put them into the closet with winter clothes, as if I am going to need them in a few months.

    Help?!? Is any one else feeling this way? Where your scale says you lose, but you do not see it????
    What size should a 135 person wear?? I am wearing 14 shorts and a mens cut size xlarge shirt.
    at home I can not put away my 2xl lounge pants, and some 2x and 3xl tshirts.

    I want to be sexy I want to be attractive, but I feel like I am still too big to leave my comfort zone. What can I do??

    I am more than 100 lbs less than what I was in high school, and when I look in the mirror, I still see that same person. I know that I am smaller, and healthier, but I still see fat. I know what you are going through, and it is normal, I have talked to my Dr. about it, just don't let it get to the point where you become unhealthy because you see something that isn't actually there.

    On what size you should wear, it would all depend on your height and the way your body is shaped, not based on the weight alone...If I was 135 lbs I would be a freaking light post, you would see nothing but bones...but I am 5'11. Good luck!!
  • beautyqueen1979
    beautyqueen1979 Posts: 151 Member
    You have achieved so much, you have lost an incrdible amount of weight and you should be so proud - heck, I'm proud for you! :flowerforyou:
    Just to throw in a 2 cents - if this is genuinely worrying you, you could always discuss it with a doctor to recommend a counsellor for a bit. Losing so much weight is life-changng, and perhaps it might help to talk to someone about it. And I say this as a psychologist (granted, a child psychologist still completing her doctorate, lol) and from personal experience - counselling is a great thing, and it might give you that eye opener that lets you see just how far you've come, and how beautiful you are :)
  • maydianna
    maydianna Posts: 26 Member
    I agree so much with all of these comments!! I have had the same issue and just finally started looking at some of my before and after pics to really see the difference. One of my big problems was not wanting to spend money on "in-between" clothes. I had a total of 145 to lose and after the first 60 or so thought that I could just keep going in my old clothes until I reached goal.... well not so much. When things started falling off I had to go out and by at least some work clothes. Now I've made a game out of dropping into Ross/Target every once in a while and trying on a smaller size just for fun to see how close I'm getting. It has taken some time to get to this point - but it will happen. Just start challenging yourself and picking up things off the shelf that you never would have tried before. Some will look great - and others will not - but just experiment. :)

    I also love to watch "What Not to Wear" on TLC for a little inspiration =)
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
    Every one is right. Thank you all Again.
    I am very proud, and instead of thinking negative. I need to say congrats to myself.
    Some times that is hard to do. But I must!!
    I never thought I could lose 60 pounds!! I have been trying to lose this weight for 6 YEARS!
    It is slowly slowly coming off, but that is alright. If I can do it, anyone can do it.
    So Thank's every one .. and if you are thinking you can't achieve it.. You Can!
    huggssss to all
  • khk2010
    khk2010 Posts: 451 Member
    Congratulations on your weight loss. Amazing!

    I have always had a bigger picture of myself inside my head. I'm down about 24 lbs but I still see the heavier body. I went shopping recently and bought the usual Plus size because I thought they fit. When I go home, I tried on a shirt to show my daughter and she said, "Mom that is huge on you!" I returned the clothes and with her help I went through my closet. It was so supportive to have her to help me and give me some tough love with my clothes. I donated everything that was too big. This felt great. It was hard. It really was freeing. (I kept one item in my biggest size as a reminder for later.)

    My point is to get someone kind that you trust to help you see yourself and your closet at your new weight. It was enlightening for me. It's hard to let go of our emotional attachment to our old clothes and even body but it's worth it.

    If you've lost 60 pounds you must be a much much smaller size!
  • akaDumbo
    akaDumbo Posts: 187
    If you dont know what size you should be wearing now why dont you try looking through a catalogue. Find an outfit you really like then order it in several sizes. When they arrive try each of them on in turn in front of a mirror until you find the one that looks and feels best. You can send the rest back and it will give you a good idea which size to try when you go out shopping.

    On a lighter note you are not the only 1 who hasn't got a clue what size they are, so here is a true story to give you a laugh.

    At Christmas I decided to treat myself because I'd lost weight. I sent for several pairs of trousers at the size I thought I was and was very disappointed to find they were really tight, I could only just squeeze into them because they had a partially elasticated waist. I was going to send them back and order a bigger size but decided to keep them and slim into them. Last week having never worn any of them I decided to try them on. I put a pair on quite easily and took myself off to my doctors appointment. When my name was called I set off walking to the surgery with my 2 sticks and fortunately for me there was a nurse passing by because next thing I knew the trousers were round my ankles. She quickly pulled them up for me as I went bright red and prayed for the ground to open up and swallow me, I was so embarrassed. It was only after that I thought about the CCTV cameras and I can imagine that they were all sitting in the staff room having a good laugh but I dont care who is laughing I've lost 60 pounds and my trousers are too big woohoo!!! I do think that after another 100 lbs when I eventually reach my goal weight I might have to invest in a new wardrobe though
  • bonnienm
    bonnienm Posts: 329 Member
    I lost about 20 lbs before I HAD to get some new pants. I did feel a little smaller but still felt fat and was frustrated because my co-worker had dropped a size or two and had lost less weight than me. I guess it's normal in some of us. Get RID of your FAT clothes so you don't have anything to fall back on. My thinking is that if I have to buy new fat clothes it will prompt me to get back on the wagon and get in shape again.
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
    If you dont know what size you should be wearing now why dont you try looking through a catalogue. Find an outfit you really like then order it in several sizes. When they arrive try each of them on in turn in front of a mirror until you find the one that looks and feels best. You can send the rest back and it will give you a good idea which size to try when you go out shopping.

    On a lighter note you are not the only 1 who hasn't got a clue what size they are, so here is a true story to give you a laugh.

    At Christmas I decided to treat myself because I'd lost weight. I sent for several pairs of trousers at the size I thought I was and was very disappointed to find they were really tight, I could only just squeeze into them because they had a partially elasticated waist. I was going to send them back and order a bigger size but decided to keep them and slim into them. Last week having never worn any of them I decided to try them on. I put a pair on quite easily and took myself off to my doctors appointment. When my name was called I set off walking to the surgery with my 2 sticks and fortunately for me there was a nurse passing by because next thing I knew the trousers were round my ankles. She quickly pulled them up for me as I went bright red and prayed for the ground to open up and swallow me, I was so embarrassed. It was only after that I thought about the CCTV cameras and I can imagine that they were all sitting in the staff room having a good laugh but I dont care who is laughing I've lost 60 pounds and my trousers are too big woohoo!!! I do think that after another 100 lbs when I eventually reach my goal weight I might have to invest in a new wardrobe though

    Love the story!! too cute! :flowerforyou:
  • MakeLifeBright
    MakeLifeBright Posts: 176
    I lost about 20 lbs before I HAD to get some new pants. I did feel a little smaller but still felt fat and was frustrated because my co-worker had dropped a size or two and had lost less weight than me. I guess it's normal in some of us. Get RID of your FAT clothes so you don't have anything to fall back on. My thinking is that if I have to buy new fat clothes it will prompt me to get back on the wagon and get in shape again.


    I will do it!! Every one has given me soo much support here today. I will get rid of those fat clothes!! I must!!
    I will donate them to the salvation army Tomorrow!!!!!!!! :sad: :bigsmile: :flowerforyou: :wink: :happy:
  • taijade
    taijade Posts: 38
    I want to be sexy I want to be attractive, but I feel like I am still too big to leave my comfort zone. What can I do??

    Oh, sweetheart, I SO understand this sentence.

    At the beginning of this year (before I found MFP) I lost about 11lbs and although I knew I had and people commented that it LOOKED like I lost weight and I was able to do my jeans up without feeling like they were going to cut off the circulation to my legs...I looked at myself in a mirror and saw FATFATFAT.
    I gained the wieght back, unfortunately and I hate seeing my reflection now; it makes me feel sick.

    You're not alone, you're not crazy...you're just used to reacting to yourself in a certain way, if that makes sense?
    Like a lot of others have said already - get rid of the clothes that are way too big for you; just give them away to someone or donate them to a charity...whatever it takes to get them out of your house and life because then you can start looking for things that fit properly and that's the best step you can take in realising that you are well on your way to becoming a healthier you.
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