Anxious, yet commited.

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chubbybunny1987
chubbybunny1987 Posts: 3
in Introduce Yourself
Hi,

My name is Kay and I am overweight.

I've always been one of those girls that from puberty I've always been a bit bigger and now I'm 26 and I vary from a size 18 (if I'm lucky) to a size 22. I struggle with long walks after a while, and over the past few years I've become a bit of a hermit.

So essentially, I want to sort my life out.

My physical appearance has had such a negative effect on my mental health, and with depression and anxiety problems the easiest response for me is to just binge eat junk food and pretend I'm not miserable - but misery is exhausting and I've had enough of it.

I'm currently in a relationship with my partner and we've been together since Boxing Day '06, and I want to feel attractive to him again. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he's repulsed by me or he doesn't find me attractive, but my lack of confidence in myself makes things... complicated. (Sex in the dark because I'm too embarrassed to let him see me naked gets frustrating)

So I have a goal. My goal is to be a size 14 - 16 or 9st. I like having curves, so I wouldn't want to be "skinny". I want to reach this size/ weight, and I want to be healthy mentally and physically. Along the way I'm also hoping to give up smoking as well, but one thing at a time :)

Apologies for the novel of an introduction, but I just needed to vent as well, for this is extremely daunting, so if there's anyone who's reading this and is able to help in regards to support, tips, etc, please feel free to chat away! :)

Thanks :)

Replies

  • tiffles17
    tiffles17 Posts: 28
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    This is a great place to start your journey! Feel free to add me if you would like. I am 25 years old I started out as a size 22 as well, I'm down to size 16 now and still working on my body inside and out :-) There have been A LOT of ups and downs and times where I just gave up then later picked it back up. My advice is don't focus on how you look but how you feel. "think of your body as an instrument, not an ornament" You will amaze yourself in time at what you are capable of and of what your body is capable of telling you as long as you're willing to listen. Good luck, you've taken the first step!
  • kdavis65738
    kdavis65738 Posts: 10
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    I know exactly what you are going through!

    My weight is depressing.. and I have a serious lack of confidence in my appearance.

    And to be honest.. I am 24 hours smoke free!!

    i started the patch yesterday. So far so good.. it's super tough though. Especially after I eat and when I get in my car... OMG the cravings are nearly unbearable.

    Add me!!
  • Kxgz
    Kxgz Posts: 198 Member
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    Welcome! Feel free to add me : ). I log daily and enjoy motivating and supporting other active members : ).
  • chubbybunny1987
    chubbybunny1987 Posts: 3
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    Thank you all for all your positive comments :)

    I've not weighed myself in something like... 10+ years and it's been a total fear of mine D: When I made an account on this, the first thing it asked was how much I weighed, so I made a guess of 18stone. I've ordered scales in, so hopefully when they arrive it won't go higher than that :|

    Again, thanks for your comments - prepare to be added! :D x
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
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    Wonderful place to start!

    My weight used to make me hermit... i stopped going out with friends, stopped dating... Everyone told me how big I was getting and I denied it for so long... at my heaviest I was 167 (I'm 5'5) and had been a competitive dancer all my teen years... add medical problems, too busy to cook, needed to eat fast and on the go... I suffered depression and anxiety attacks for nearly 3 years. And I COMPLETELY understand sex in the dark! I've been there before too!

    Feel free to friend me, I'm good with support and keeping the "way to go!" attitude up to help boost your self esteem :) You've taken the first step, congrats!
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    I did a guess when I signed up too. No big deal. You'll get it all figured out when you start weighing in. Take measurements too though. That will give you hope on those days when the scale has no love for you.
  • RobertS9539
    RobertS9539 Posts: 3 Member
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    Hi Kay,

    First off, best wishes to you! I started in February of this year as part of a competition through my work. I wanted to use MFP to keep me focused but it really helps with serving portions that I had been awful judging. I have a type II diabetic family member, high blood pressure and blood sugar level getting borderline. Basically, I just got tired of the state things were in. It sounds like you've reached that point too and that's just what it takes. Be obsessive in logging every day. And log everything you eat. It really does get easier as you go. Drink lots of water especially before a meal. 2-3 glasses. As long as you have good achieveable goals, the program works. And don't get discouraged during the plateaus when nothing is happening. Everybody goes through them. Just keep going.

    Again, best wishes.
  • 5RES
    5RES Posts: 4
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    Hi! Welcome! I am fairly new on my journey, but I can relate to a lot of what you are going through! I was never big until I graduated high school, but in healthy marriage, pregnancy, and divorce added a lot (120ish lbs)! I am currently down 4 lbs and I wish it would come off faster, but I try to stay on plan and positive! I have learned attitude really is everything! Good luck! I am here to answer questions or for support if you need it! You can do it! And remember...YOU ARE WORTH IT!
  • chubbybunny1987
    chubbybunny1987 Posts: 3
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    Thanks guys :)

    I can't express how appreciated your comments and kind words are :')

    Well day 1 of the diet is complete, so here's hoping it goes this steady here on out :)

    <3
  • SuchaEffinLady
    SuchaEffinLady Posts: 7
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    I know exactly what you are going through!

    My weight is depressing.. and I have a serious lack of confidence in my appearance.

    And to be honest.. I am 24 hours smoke free!!

    i started the patch yesterday. So far so good.. it's super tough though. Especially after I eat and when I get in my car... OMG the cravings are nearly unbearable.

    Add me!!

    Good Luck on not smoking. I quit 8 months ago with the patch. Best decision ever! You got this girl!
  • SuchaEffinLady
    SuchaEffinLady Posts: 7
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    Hi Kay! I am Erica. Free feel to add me.
  • onedayatatime410
    onedayatatime410 Posts: 42 Member
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    I'm not the expert on MFP, but it seems like this is the place that can really get you started. It's all about being committed and be accountable. MFP really helps with that. Good luck on your journey. Know that it's possible! :)
  • SilentTigress
    SilentTigress Posts: 14
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    Hi Kay (and everyone else!),
    I'm starting out too. I've had MFP for awhile, but never fully committed. Today is day one! I'm 26 as well and am a size 20w. Looks like there are a lot of motivating people here. Best of luck to you! :)
  • dimitymartin
    dimitymartin Posts: 20
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    Hey, I also have depression and anxiety. I feel so determined but so anxious of what lies ahead. I have been a big girl since I was 6 and was tormented in school because of it. I want to get down to a size 14 but ultimately a size 12.


    I am looking to lose 100-115 pounds. :-)
  • bri0628
    bri0628 Posts: 86 Member
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    Hi Kay,

    Welcome to the group. I can tell you from my experience that this site does help. When I started logging my food, It was amazing to see all of the calories I was taking in every day. It definitely motivates you to watch what you eat and want to do better.

    Wishing you great success!!!

    Brian

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