The opinions of others would help

I started my fat loss journey back in 2009. I lost 38lbs and was feeling pretty good about it all. My Step Dad was in and out of ICU and rehab hospitals when I started. I was busy working out, running to see him, raising my family and trying to keep my little farm going for the sake of my family. It was a very stressful period in my life. I think shedding fat and working out everyday was really the only thing that helped me through all of it. Then my Dad came home......to die. Together as a family my sisters, Mom and I all gathered around to honor his wishes. He was dying of pancreatic cancer. He had 6 cancers all together, but that one was the monster. He caught a tiny cold, one you or I could easily get over in a few days. The cold did him in. For a week I went to my parents everyday to take care of Dad while Mom tied up loose HR ends at work so she could be home with him until he died. Very long story short.......that week took the wind out of my sails. I stayed strong for him all day. In the middle of panic attacks and breathing issues (he had lung cancer as well). I saw grown men white as sheets while they visited. My Uncle even passed out in the middle of my Dad's struggles because he thought it was the end. I would stay strong all day, then come home and have nothing left for my family. I did not bother to eat, I cried all night long and then tried to sleep so I could go back and handle it all again the next day. When Dad passed I stopped working out, eating or caring about anything when it came to taking care of myself. I ended up getting back into poor eating, and forgetting that I had goals. This was 2 years ago. I am currently working my tail off and shedding the pounds. Back then I did not see the "end" result at all. I never got there and figured it was to far away to even worry. As of right now I am 24lbs away from my current "goal". I have to be honest here. I have no idea what my real goal should be. (as far as the scale goes) I am really aiming for a fitness goal rather than a weight goal, but would also like to be with in a healthy weight range. My current "goal" is about 10lbs above what the charts claim is a healthy, non over weight goal. If I aim for the chart goal of not over weight I have another 32lbs to go. Well, after talking to friends and family who do nothing but be brutally honest, most think the chart is not for me. That it does not account for women of a muscular structure. Others think I should shoot for the non over weight goal. In 2009 I was 226lbs, now down to 169 and the charts say that at 5'2" I should weigh between 102 and 137 to be in the healthy range. I was aiming more for 145-ish at the start of all this. I am in such "fat loss mode" that I am unsure when to slam the breaks on. LOL. If anyone has any experience or an opinion about this issue please shed some light on this for me. At this point in time I do think it is about time for me to set my eyes on the prize and figure out what is a good end point for me. Once I figure that out then I can start reading up on how to maintain that goal. I am happy that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, just a bit overwhelmed with the idea. Much thanks for anyone who can help me figure this out