im here to change my life

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bonita87
bonita87 Posts: 50
in Introduce Yourself
have u ever felt put down left out laughed at called names just because ur fat ... have u ever been broken hearted and ur first love left u coz ur fat has his new girl friend told u that he choose her coz she had it all ... thats a little bit about my past life ... it was tough living that life being just 17 bullied coz i was over weight ... stepped on coz i was over weight ... since then i lost more than 30 kg i turned from ugly duckling to swan ... guys now want to be with me coz i have the face ... but i have no self confidience i trust no one and what hurts me most is im still attached to my first love ... first cut is the deepest i guess ... im 21 now ... i have a very small waist but i have big hips and thighs i swear i look like a pear :P ... a yrs ago i found out iv been having heart problams and i need to get an operation im having it on march ... i dont wanna loss the weight for any1 i wanna do it for me ...

i wanna be happy i wanna love my self i wanna find my lost soul ....

thats a little about my self

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  • bonita87
    bonita87 Posts: 50
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    have u ever felt put down left out laughed at called names just because ur fat ... have u ever been broken hearted and ur first love left u coz ur fat has his new girl friend told u that he choose her coz she had it all ... thats a little bit about my past life ... it was tough living that life being just 17 bullied coz i was over weight ... stepped on coz i was over weight ... since then i lost more than 30 kg i turned from ugly duckling to swan ... guys now want to be with me coz i have the face ... but i have no self confidience i trust no one and what hurts me most is im still attached to my first love ... first cut is the deepest i guess ... im 21 now ... i have a very small waist but i have big hips and thighs i swear i look like a pear :P ... a yrs ago i found out iv been having heart problams and i need to get an operation im having it on march ... i dont wanna loss the weight for any1 i wanna do it for me ...

    i wanna be happy i wanna love my self i wanna find my lost soul ....

    thats a little about my self
  • travelbug
    travelbug Posts: 153
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    That was a great message!
    A positive attitude is inspirational and should be reflected upon on those days it just doesn't seem worth it. Because you are worth it and shame on those who didn't know it before.
    Always remember who you are doing this for. Yourself.
  • sculley
    sculley Posts: 2,012 Member
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    I am positive that you will do this for yourself and succeed. Keep your head up and welcome to our family:drinker:
  • plantlady99
    plantlady99 Posts: 1,338 Member
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    Welcome
    you will love the support that you get. My life is changing everyday because of the support from MFP.

    I am so very happy you found it also


    :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

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  • Wizzle
    Wizzle Posts: 97 Member
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    I completly understand what your talking about. I have felt that way about myself as well. You should want to do it for yourself and no one else and that is the truth. I am sorry to hear about your heart. I am sure everything will go fine with the operation. I have a close friend who has sever heart problems and I know how scary it can be. You just need to remember that life is to precious to worry about what others say. No matter how much it hurts us. You will find someone who loves you for you.. not the person on the exterior. Past loves can be hard to forget... but if they have treated us badly before they are likely to do it again. Past behavior is a good predictor of future behavior. Just remember that and tred carefully around old loves. You will find someone who loves you completely. You just have to open your eyes and trust them.

    Now on a lighter note welcome to MFP lol,
  • kellch
    kellch Posts: 7,849 Member
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    Hello....and welcome to MFP. :flowerforyou: This is a very supportive site. And I think most of us who have struggled with weight issues go through insecurities. And yes I have been treated very badly (mainly by an abusive ex) because I was fat. And being treated badly only makes you feel worse and more likely to get bigger and bigger. You are now at the turning point in your life. Learn to better yourself and take care of yourself. Focus on yourself, and in time you will find that special person. But you cannot love another person completely if you do not love yourself. Concentrate on you and things will fall into place. We're here for you if you need anything. And I'm sorry to hear about your heart problem. But you making a new start and trying to be healthier is a good way to go. :flowerforyou:
  • bonita87
    bonita87 Posts: 50
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    bethanie

    Always remember who you are doing this for. Yourself.
    thank u


    sculley plantlady99
    :flowerforyou: thank u

    wizzle
    i beleive i cant love any1 until i start loving myself first i have low self esteem regarding my body can u imagine i swear i never wore jeans or trousers in public thats how unsecure i am im just to scared that ppl will sit stare and laugh as they used to do when i was a kid ...

    regarding the heart issue im really sorry to hear about ur friend i hope she or he feels much better ... actually knowing that i have heart problam was a wake up call for me to try to see good stuff rather than sit and moan ....

    ill be strong :D my goal is reaching 50kg and wearing a pair of jeans and walk in public :D

    thanks
    kellch


    And being treated badly only makes you feel worse and more likely to get bigger and bigger.

    first of all congrats on losing 24 lb girls u look stunning ... im so happy for u that u managed to get out from an abusive relationship i totally agree being treated badly only makes u grow bigger ... hope u find that better person who loves u inside out and treats u like a princess :flowerforyou:


    thanks dear
  • rosemarymint
    rosemarymint Posts: 132 Member
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    Bonita....I couldn't understand more how you feel. I've always been the fat girl...always. You and I should chat sometime and share our stories. Keep your head up. :flowerforyou:
  • gabi_ele
    gabi_ele Posts: 460 Member
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    Welcome:flowerforyou:
    You have found the best site for loosing weight:happy: . The last time I was skinny was when I was 7 years old:noway: and yes a lot of people have made smart remarks or hurt my feelings. But I and you know that there is more to us then just this outward shell ( by the way I am not fat I'm fluffy:glasses: ) From your posts I can tell that you are compasionate considerate and kind. You also must be smart , if I guessed right, english is your second language. Why does it seem that the nice people of this world are beating themselves up for no good reason, while the nasty ones beat everybody else up for no reason at all? Isn't it time to talk to ourselves nicely too? Frankly I don't care anymore what people think about my looks, I'm loosing this weight for me, so I have more energie and more stamina and can chase my grandchildren. I wear a bathing suit in public and don't care what people say, their opinion doesn't count, they neither pay my bills , nor do they make chicken noodle soup when I am sick or hand me a hanky when I'm sad. The people that count for me are the ones that love me no matter what I look like, how silly I am at times or how many mistakes I make.
    I wish you success :bigsmile:

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