Anyone else do this on dating websites?

i told myself that once i lose my weight, i'll go on a dating site.
chances are that i actually won't do that lol.

I met my husband online.... I wasn't looking for it though.... but he found me and we have been together every since then....

Before that.. I met my 3 serious relationship online as well (I was looking for BF online though)

I've try the whole real life thing, and it hasn't work at all... I guess online work better because all you do is to look online and look exactly what you are looking for, and if a guy just wants to have a fun night or he is looking for a relationship, most likely he would let you know....

I totally relate to this! I haven't deleted my profile, but I have re-read my profile after weeks with very few emails, realized that I am probably not getting attention because I come off like a prude with no sense of humor, and instead of tweaking my profile to reflect my personality, just left it alone. I have a profile on Christian Mingle right now and before that, I had one on Match. I have had one or the other of these for the past year and still have not actually dated anyone, and only have spoken to 3 or 4 people on the phone. I also sometimes go two or three weeks without checking the email account that is linked to my profile.

For me, I think fear is a big factor. I am 43 and removed myself from the "dating pool" when I was 32. Now that so much time has passed, I am terrified! The oldest guy I ever dated was 35, and I am worried about how different dating will be at my age. I worry that I'll seem immature to someone my own age, but can't bear the idea of dating anyone younger than 38 or so. I am also so used to being single that, even though I'd ideally like to remarry and have a sex life again, part of me wonders if the aggravation of a relationship is worth it. I have lost 60 lbs in the last couple years, but I still have 30 to go and definitely don't "feel sexy" yet.

I know I need to either take it seriously or change to one of the free sites rather than a paid one, but I don't know...What do you think it is with you? Are you squeamish about the idea of online dating? Do you have trouble dating guys you meet in real life? There isn't much of you in your picture, but it doesn't look like you could be heavy enough to be self-conscious about your body (though I realize this is a very subjective thing, and to some women carrying an extra 5-10 lbs feels to them like 100). Are you enjoying your singlehood?

I've recently done this. I signed up for a site a few weeks ago, and a week later... even after receiving a bunch of emails... I couldn't do it. My ex left me gutted, so I'm trying to rebuild my confidence to even start dating again. deleted my profile. Maybe I'll try again in a month, dunno.

Replying to tigersword: I agree. Confidence is not only important for getting up the courage to "put yourself out there", it is one of the most attractive qualities for a guy or girl to have. I heard about a survey recently that said that guys rated confidence as one of the sexiest traits a woman can have, and that the right amount of it can make up for any number of physical imperfections. Bottom line: if you believe you are sexy and project that, he'll believe it, too.

As far as "normal" ways of dating, the stigma of online dating has lessened a lot in the last few years, and with good reason. It kind of IS the new normal. Five years ago I would have been humiliated at the very IDEA; now, I see it as a way to avoid wasting time. When you know what you want in a person and have several things that are 'deal breakers' (in my case, it is important to me that the guy be a Christian and that he make at least as much money as I do, for example), it just makes sense to go online and register on a site that will filter out the people who don't fit your criteria. It seems to me that you have a better chance of finding a compatible mate within a reasonable amount of time if everyone you date shares the common ground that is most important to you.

I keep doing this cycle of going online and then saying oh no I'll try to meet someone the "normal" way, but I don't.

As someone else mentioned meeting people online is perfectly normal. In fact these days it's probably the most normal way for people who aren't still at school/university. I'd never meet anyone new if I wasn't online.

It's really not a big deal. In many ways it simplifies things. You both know you're interested. You can be pretty upfront about things that bother you (I find it much easier to say 'sorry, I don't date smokers' to someone online than I would to say it to someones face if they walked up to me in a coffee shop) and it's efficient. My main advice would be to get a thick skin, people can be pretty rude and you have to make sure that you know that's their problem, not yours.

@jamiwren ..I can't really say I've enjoyed being single because I haven't gone on a whole lot of dates. I attribute it mainly to the fact that I don't really like doing something I've never done before...and that I still sometimes see myself as 35 lbs heavier than I really am (the weight I've lost)...even when I do see my actuall weight (like 154 lbs) I'm still seeing the flaws. I think of myself as "cute", but not sexy..ya know. I think a lot of it honestly lies within me..because I know I'm generally a down to earth person, but physically I just not there yet with having complete confidence in myself..Meh i guess I need to just grow a pair!

Just wanted to say I find you very attractive. If I got to know you, I would invite you over for a romantic dinner and as soon as you arrived, I would pull you close and whisper in your ear "I have a swanson tv dinner in the freezer with your name on it" and then I would proceed to fill a wine glass with welch's grape juice

I've been back and forth with it for a while now on dating sites. I guess I'm in the same boat. I have this negative self image that I can't seem to shake. I think with me it's more about the fact that I don't look like the person I know I am on the inside (yet). Six years ago I lost 75 lbs (I've since put it back on and I'm starting over, but that's another story). Even when I was in the best shape of my life weighing less than I ever have in my adult life since 7th grade I still had issues with only seeing the flaws. I think it's more about changing your mindset to reflect the "new" you. I held onto my old mindset and I'm sure it played a factor in me regaining the weight as well as my reluctance to date. Letting go of the old mindset and breaking down emotional blocks are key to losing weight and changing your life. Do that and the confidence will follow. I learned this the hard way. Now I'm doing it in reverse this time. Changing my mindset and working on the emotional blocks so I can enjoy my journey this time each pound at a time.

@jamiwren ..I can't really say I've enjoyed being single because I haven't gone on a whole lot of dates. I attribute it mainly to the fact that I don't really like doing something I've never done before...and that I still sometimes see myself as 35 lbs heavier than I really am (the weight I've lost)...even when I do see my actuall weight (like 154 lbs) I'm still seeing the flaws. I think of myself as "cute", but not sexy..ya know. I think a lot of it honestly lies within me..because I know I'm generally a down to earth person, but physically I just not there yet with having complete confidence in myself..Meh i guess I need to just grow a pair!

Just wanted to say I find you very attractive. If I got to know you, I would invite you over for a romantic dinner and as soon as you arrived, I would pull you close and whisper in your ear "I have a swanson tv dinner in the freezer with your name on it" and then I would proceed to fill a wine glass with welch's grape juice

damm welch's.... you're underage huh...i guess I could settle..this time......

i've had a crush on you for years.