Fat Shaming and now.....HEALTH Shaming Obese People?

You are doing an amazing job. I wouldn't read anything negative directed at you into what she said. If someone told me he was a mountain climber and intended to climb Mt Everest, I would be amazed and ask about training and (possibly) if they really thought they would make it to the top - there are just so many obstacles. Of course, then I would wish them luck and demand to see pictures when they got back.

You basically told her that after all you had done you intended to try and lose about 100 pounds. That is more than most people can fathom - they are still working on thinking about losing 20. You are just aiming higher than they can envision.

I agree with previous posts that when people are used to seeing you bigger, it's hard to get used to you at smaller sizes. Look at actors/singers that were heavier and who lost weight. They just look a little out of the ordinary, the longer they were overweight (Roseanne for instance). When I dropped a bunch of weight years ago, people told me I looked anorexic. I had a BMI of 24.9. I think that they were used to seeing me a little chubby for so many years it was hard to imagine me in tight fitting clothes that accentuatedmy new body.

Or maybe it was out of concern that you were setting unrealistic goals for yourself. I'm sure that you know plenty of people who look just fine outside of the normal BMI range, and are only above their goal weight because of strength training.

I'd just brush it off, and keep up the good work. Congratulations on your success so far!

As soon as you lose weight, everyone becomes a nutritionist or doctor. Ignore them. People like seeing other people fail or remain stagnant, because I'm sure there are things they want to change and don't - you're proof that change can happen.

Congrats on your weight loss.
I feel like this wasn't really shaming, just a preconceived notion, perhaps about build or bone structure, which a lot of older people believe. For example, they really do feel like you can be "big boned" with LITERALLY bigger bones than a thinner person. I think my grandma feels this way about me. So maybe this lady was just coming from that place of old-wives tales and theories. That's my guess.

I really don't think she was shaming you in any way, and like another said, I think even your reaction to her comment was skewed a little because you note that she is very small. Personally, to me it seems like you think she was coming from a place of judgement when, if she was larger, you would have just perceived it as a conversation between two people talking about health and fitness.

I think your goal is definitely in range with a lot of hard work and obviously will take time. Personally, I used to think someone with a lot of weight to lose like you and I could never get down to that 115 range (I do think 135 is more attainable) but I have seen some success stories of people on here that have gotten into that range (I'm thinking specifically of triciab79). I really don't think it's impossible anymore, but I do think it is a hard goal. It just is! There's no denying that. But hard is sometimes worth it, obviously.

I think many people become satisfied with their bodies after losing a lot of weight like this in a higher range, say 135-155, but there is no reason to rearrange your goals if you think you can achieve it.

Don't worry about what other people think about your goal and you'll be ok.

I've never been clinically overweight yet know how difficult it can be to lose 10 lbs.

It is difficult for me to comprehend the level of commitment you need to lose as much as you've set for your goal. My guess is that their amazement is because they can't imagine anyone, including themselves, accomplishing what you've set out to do, not so much that they think that you, specifically, can't do it.

Your progress is impressive and shows that you do have the will power and determination to stay on course. You've already established a healthy lifestyle to lose that much. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what ignorant comments come your way, it's your road to travel.

I eat a very strict diet to the point where other people are almost offended by it. Why don't you eat dairy, why don't you eat wheat, have a beer...I travel a lot and I bring tuna and nuts with me just incase I end up with a group of people who want to eat at some place that doesn't meet my diet requirements. Even though my choices have no impact on what they are doing, it really sets people off sometimes.

Keep up your good work, don't worry about the co-workers who's monitoring your progress, she's probably never faced a real challenge in her life. .

I understand how you feel. It was sort of like the last straw. I was in the supermarket the other day, and I use a cart because I need knee surgery, and an elderly man came up to me and said look at that I am walking and you are riding. I am sure he was just tickled because he was doing so well, but i wanted to whack his kneecap with a cane.

Ugh. That's beyond snide. Sorry you had to deal with that rude man!

My starting weight was ~255-260 lbs, and I am down to ~136 lbs (BF 26%). I am 5'2", and my healthy BMI range is also ~115-135 lbs.

There are many examples on this website proving that it is possible for obese people to achieve a normal weight; perhaps you should show your co-worker some of the success threads?

I get stuff like this at work….

Did you get a donut?
No I don’t want one today.
Why you still on that diet?
No I’m not on a diet.
Then why don’t you want a donut?
Just don’t.

Another day......

You want a brownie?
No thanks.
You still on that diet?
No I'm not on a diet.
I made them for my birthday.
OK I’ll take a half of one, Happy Birthday.
Thanks, No you have to have a whole one.
I don’t want a whole one would you cut one in half for me?
No these are one serving I’m not cutting them again....

These brownies were like 4'' sq. lol

This is one of my biggest pet peeves when people question your motivation. A lot of people don't think it was shaming - truthfully, I'm not sure that it was, but whatever it is - it isn't appreciated the way people question what you're doing - no matter if they were asking with the best of intentions or not -- sometimes it's just not appreciated the way people broach that. My parents said that too when the lap=band surgeon told me to lose 90 pounds before he'd put the band in. My mother was like, "If you could lose that kind of weight on your own, you wouldn't need it." Well - here I am 146 pounds later - no lap band still. I've gone from a BMI of about 65 or so to 39-something.. Now she's saying, "I knew when you set your mind to it, you'd get it done." I think she has memory lapses! LOL

Yesterday, I went by "the flyig cupcake" and got 1 (count them 1) cupcake just to try it to see how it was. I was curious. They put it in a chinese looking box (the kind they put steamed rice in or whatever). SHe asked if I went to a chinese place - I replied that no, it was a cupcake. SHe said, "DOn't tell me you're eating THAT sh&t again??!" As if it's any of her business. One cupcake will not ruin the whole newly developed lifestyle. A dozen might, but not 1 on one day just out of being curious. Never mind that I've about lost enough weight ot be skinnier than her now - the one who always eats soup, cheese and ritz crackers for lunch as if it was the healthiest thing on the planet. And she wonders why nobody ever talks to her much - she's such a busy body.

I would likely have said somehting like you did or: "Well, I've come this far, and there's no reason I can't continue on this path, so Yes. I think I can do it. Thanks for asking." and walk out.