the pscychological effects of weight loss

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Replies

  • yuckidah
    yuckidah Posts: 290 Member
    You're definitely not alone. i find it very hard to take compliments too - when people say 'Wow, you're looking great' all I can think is 'Fark I must have looked seriously gross before'.
    The only good side of this mindset is that it makes me seriously determined not to ever go back to where I was.
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
    I have only lost a total of about 40 lbs so far. For the first 6 months I didn't even know I was dieting. I started eating more foods with fiber in them that was the only nutrient I was actually tracking. I was aware of calories more because that information is also on the package right where you find the info on fiber, but anyway I wasn't focusing on calories or losing. I noticed more fiber made my joints feel better so I was going with that. I didn't have a scale so I don't know my exact starting weight, but I know it was a lot higher than what I weighed when I went to a doctor in March, because I was down a couple sizes. So anyway, I just got a scale recently and now it seems that the weight is coming off more slowly even though the opposite is likely true since I didn't exercise at all for the first 7 months. In any case, my mind isn't accepting that I need smaller clothes. A lot of stuff still fits me, but I have some pants that are literally just hanging off of my hips.
  • Onaughmae
    Onaughmae Posts: 873 Member
    I look in hte mirror and *still* see the 135 pounds that I have lost. They say your brain catches up. Occasionally I get a glimpse in a mirror and dont recognize me...but then the old image is right back there again.
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
    I have only lost 21 pounds so far, but I am not really able to see the difference in my body. My husband sees it. Other people see it. I just don't. I look in the mirror and only see the negative bad points. It sucks, but I know that if I keep on doing what I'm doing, eventually, I will begin to see me again.
  • Ejourneys
    Ejourneys Posts: 1,603 Member
    I've been down this road many times before, and for me it's a full-body-and-brain experience. I've gone from chubby kid to lifelong yo-yo, including a bout with anorexia and being underweight. Right now I am thrilled with the way I look, imperfections and all (I'm currently about 20 lbs. heavier than I had been in the 2002 photo I use for my avatar).

    I can identify with navigating in space as though I'm still larger. That's just force of habit that it will take me a while to unlearn (again).

    I have to retrain my thinking with respect to temperature, because I'm more sensitive to cold. What blows my mind is that my partner and I have now flip-flopped due to her now-underactive thyroid. She's always been lean but has gained weight due to hypothyroidism. Used to be she wanted the thermostat set at a temperature that made me sweat; now she lowers the setting so that I put on extra layers. (I defer to her because she also has MS, which includes a host of environmental sensitivities.)

    I was also mercilessly teased about my weight as a kid, but luckily I learned a lesson early. Another girl in grade school class was considerably heavier than I was, but she wasn't teased the way I was. That confused the heck out of me until I realized that she followed the clique. Big lesson for me: It wasn't REALLY about the weight. It was about all kinds of conformity.

    In college I learned to love every single bit of me no matter what I looked like, and that was both hard and very scary. I was used to thinking of myself as really not having a body at all. But I forced myself to stand naked before a full-length mirror and accept everything I was from head to toe. This body is where I live and it truly is a gift.

    It also is not uniform. I am at the point now where my sit bones can feel it when I sit for a long time or on a hard surface, but my stomach still has more fat deposition than ideal. C'est la vie. Right now I'm more focused on sustainability than on shape, and I want to keep the good habits I've picked up no matter what. I'm just thrilled to be where I am -- again.
  • VeeSecrets
    VeeSecrets Posts: 28 Member
    My story starts out a little different I've always been skinny n tall well after 4 children, n stress I got up to 247lbs. Missing the old thin me I joined MFP n the weight has poured off???? now people r like ur so skinny n like u don't believe them cus the mirror looks the same as it has for 6 yrs. I'm getting better with it though n everyday is still a learning experience, but Im still going though the mental challenges too. My husband tells me too that i look skinny too. I guess we have to loss mentally n physicallly ????
  • majope
    majope Posts: 1,325 Member
    Sometimes, all I can see is how far I've come. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror at the gym, and I almost don't recognize myself. I look so slim! I have a waist! Look at my upper torso, it's so different! Those hips, they look so...normal!

    Other times, all I can see is how far I have to go. Oh, my god...look at the jiggle on that belly. Whoa, that's one serious double chin in that picture, fat girl! You're kidding yourself if you think you're slim now. Sure, you're not AS fat. But you're still fat.

    Reminds me of one of those optical illusions where the picture is either a vase or two faces:

    Facevase.JPG
  • Celeigh12
    Celeigh12 Posts: 763 Member
    Sometimes, all I can see is how far I've come. I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror at the gym, and I almost don't recognize myself. I look so slim! I have a waist! Look at my upper torso, it's so different! Those hips, they look so...normal!

    Other times, all I can see is how far I have to go. Oh, my god...look at the jiggle on that belly. Whoa, that's one serious double chin in that picture, fat girl! You're kidding yourself if you think you're slim now. Sure, you're not AS fat. But you're still fat.

    Reminds me of one of those optical illusions where the picture is either a vase or two faces:

    Facevase.JPG

    My brain works the very same way! Peaks and troughs of happiness with my body.
  • I know exactly what you mean! I had been overweight since I was a toddler. 12 months at my goal weight and it still shocks me when people refer to me as skinny. I think it takes a bit for our brains to catch up and I am gradually beginning to see myself as slim. Weird too because it is only when I look in mirrors when I'm out that I go "holy crap I AM skinny!!" The mirror at home somehow still sees me as... well... not FAT but not skinny either.

    I'm also gradually learning to accept my body as it is... there is no such thing as a "perfect" body - there is such a thing as a fit, strong body and everyone, no matter what their height, proportions or age can have one of those!
  • I was super thin in high school because I hardly ate and exercised like an animal so I am the opposite. I think I look great but I really need to lose weight.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    Part of the bodybuilding lifestyle is always improving physique... I guess I'll never be happy with my body image.
  • imakimm
    imakimm Posts: 839
    Even though I have lost a bunch of weight my mind still thinks I am fat. When I look in the mirror I still see myself as overweight. The only way I see a difference in myself (besides different sizes of clothing) is looking at pictures. When I see a before and after picture I see that I am not overweight anymore, even though I still feel it! The mind and body play tricks!
  • RunFarLiveHappy
    RunFarLiveHappy Posts: 805 Member
    When I was "morbidly obese" I didn't really see myself for the size that I was. Now that I'm a healthy body fat % and almost a healthy weight/BMI I don't really see myself for the size that I am now. Whenever I go try on clothes I still start in XL and cannot believe when smalls or mediums fit. I just tried on some size 8 jeans this week and still can't believe it. I look in the mirror sometimes for longish periods of time just hoping it will sink in. I am not at my goal body, but I am a far cry from where I started. Sometimes I can acknowledge that I look nice or cute a particular day. Overall it is still an adjustment. The entire journey has been very much a mental one for me anyway so this doesn't really surprise me.
  • EmilyEmpowered
    EmilyEmpowered Posts: 650 Member
    When I was "morbidly obese" I didn't really see myself for the size that I was. Now that I'm a healthy body fat % and almost a healthy weight/BMI I don't really see myself for the size that I am now. Whenever I go try on clothes I still start in XL and cannot believe when smalls or mediums fit. I just tried on some size 8 jeans this week and still can't believe it. I look in the mirror sometimes for longish periods of time just hoping it will sink in. I am not at my goal body, but I am a far cry from where I started. Sometimes I can acknowledge that I look nice or cute a particular day. Overall it is still an adjustment. The entire journey has been very much a mental one for me anyway so this doesn't really surprise me.

    This is me! I look at pictures and think, when was I that big?? Why didnt I notice?? And now, I am where my original "goal weight" was, and there are days when I just can not stand to look at myself. Overall, I think a lot of people overlook the mental side of weight loss. I read once, in an article I can NEVER seem to find, that it takes around 6 months for your MIND to catch up to every 10 pounds you lose! That is another reason why its best to lose slow, so you can adjust to how you really look.

    Having kept the weight off for a year and a half now, approximately, I am just now starting to adjust to liking myself and seeing myself thinner. But the only thing that has really helped me is to STOP focusing on being skinny and start focusing on being MY BEST fitness wise. That mindset and LIFTING have changed my view of myself tremendously over the past two months (except for during those "emotional times" I still cry like a baby that I will never reach my goals. Have to remind myself- I DID reach my original goal!)
  • EmilyEmpowered
    EmilyEmpowered Posts: 650 Member
    Also, because of this ALOT of people think I am stuck up or fishing for compliments, because I complain about how I look and they dont see what I SEE! They dont realize that my self esteem really is in the toilet, waaayyyy lower than it ever was when I was bigger. I think part of it, is a lot of us live our lives at that size, and even knowing we are overweight until we start taking steps to LOSE, we dont address how we feel at that weight... Because it can be painful and hard to accept. So once you start losing, you are forced to recognize and then we start picking ourselves apart, finding flaws.
  • jadisfeigns
    jadisfeigns Posts: 57 Member
    I lost weight being on a drug. I was not "over weight", i would have been normal. But i would sometimes get comments from people saying "you used to be bigger". It's very hard to hear that, and wonder...was I bigger? Now it's hard to put back on any weight I did lose, but I need to. Any weight loss that does happen that is detrimental to someone's health is so difficult with certain people because you can get to a point where we just want more (loss) and can't accept the littlest gain back. That's where I'm at now.
    One woman told me once before you start losing, you have to be happy with yourself

    Good luck and make sure you stay safe.
  • josarahm
    josarahm Posts: 48
    No one outside of my home commented on my weight loss until I lost 70lbs (26% of my total body weight) and still only four people did. I didn't really believe the nice words. It took me losing 92lbs and having A BUNCH of people comment over the course of a month (and a small freak out on my part) and a round of new pictures (b/c I rarely see anything in the mirror. Only pictures) for me to really realize that I haven't looked this good, ever. The last time I was this weight I was in 6th/7th grade and I was shorter, so bigger around. In HS I amhad the beginnings of a double chin (which I never noticed until a few nights ago looking at friends Facebook albums) and I wore my clothing too big or too small. The double chin is gone and I'm trying really hard to wear the right sized clothes (oh my god this is hard -- I never realized how ill fitting my clothes were!) and I've lost 92lbs. I do look good, at least comparing myself to the old me.

    It's hard to get here mentally and I might not stay in this frame of mind but right now today I know what people say is true. I may not be pretty or skinny but I do look better than I ever have before.

    Also, another thing that helps me is that I have never had the luxury of looking 'normal' I've always stuck out and looked different (I have


    a disability). I will always clearly see those imperfections that make me different and I know there isn't a damn thing I can do about them. So perhaps I don't see small things that other's do, so YMMV.

    And PS, I still think I am 92lbs heavier when trying to navigate in space... I think there's not room for me to go from point A to point B. I'm still surprised when I sit in a seat and fit. Or when I'm laying in bed and my whole body sits on the mattress in a different way. No idea if that ever ends. I hope this helps. Los





    ing weight is a complicated business. Physical, mental. It's a whole shift in your life. I've never felt so 'crazy' ever in my life.
  • lilpoindexter
    lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
    I don't like wearing clothes that fit correctly, because they feel "tight" on me. I am use to wearing baggy clothes from my fat days...but honestly I feel more comfortable in clothes that aren't "tight". I would have to think most men feel the same way. Many, many people have commented on how terrible I look in loose clothes, and how much better I look with clothes that fit properly...not sure if i am just not used to being slim, or if I just like being comfortable.
  • Bonny619
    Bonny619 Posts: 311 Member
    When I show people my before and afters, I have a sudden fear they are secretly thinking I look the same as the before pic.

    I feel you!
  • I still turn sideways to "fit" between things, when I don't have to any more ...

    oh god, i do this alllll the time!
    :l
  • pwittek10
    pwittek10 Posts: 723 Member
    I lost over 100 pounds, but I only see myself fat
    I always head for the plus size section in any store,
    (I wear size 4 not size 28W)
    I guess that is how I will always see myself
  • Muchmoretogive
    Muchmoretogive Posts: 73 Member
    This is called body dysmorphia where people believe they are bigger/heavier than they actually are!
    You have all done so well to lose weight and to carry on either losing weight or maintaning your goal weight is fab!

    I suffer from this and i always have done back before i had kids and i was uk size 8 i thought i was fat!

    I don't think it matters what size you are i think everyone gets this awful complexion about themselves due to the media and sexualisation of women (and men) The pressures of today are ridic!!!!

    As long as you keep going and carry on and don't give up and lead a healthy life style and feel more confident and are happier in yourself then who cares what other people think. I still have 2 stone to lose but i am happy atm because i now have a bmi in the normal range which means i have done something positive with my life.
    KEEP IT UP :)
  • americangirlok
    americangirlok Posts: 228 Member
    When I was in 8th grade I went to public school for the first time. In my first week, a boy came up to me and told me his friend thought I was cute, and did I want to date him. I looked to the friend he was pointing at (he was very cute) and nodded yes. Then all the boys in the group erupted in laughter at the idea that I thought they were serious that a guy like him would want to date a fat girl like me.

    Ever since then, when a guy approaches me out of nowhere it takes EVERY OUNCE of my self will not to shout "Get the **** away from me, I'm not a joke!" I was at the mall recently with one of my friends and I was feeling self conscious because everyone was making eye contact with me and smiling at me. I told my friend "Why is everyone STARING at me!?" and she said "Because you are cute." and I was floored. It also makes me sort of sad that when I was fat people would not even make eye contact with me or look at me. It's like I was invisible. Now I make it a point to walk over and talk to bigger people at work/ school and be super friendly because I don't want them to feel invisible. Still I should learn to just treat people like people instead of seeing their weight.


    Something very similar to me happenedin 8th grade too. My best friend tried to warn me that it was a joke, but I thought she was just jealous. I went home and asked my mom if I could date this boy and she relented and I called to tell him that. And then the next day, it was just a huge joke.
  • nicoleashley_24
    nicoleashley_24 Posts: 144 Member
    Yeah, I think it definitely happens, and both ways actually!

    I gained a lot of weight in college, and although the scale showed me that, I would look in the mirror and say, "well I don't look that different." etc, etc. I guess I was in denial...

    Now that I've lost all the weight I gained plus a little more, I feel smaller, but I still don't feel "skinny" at all! I know I am at a healthy weight, but I just can't really believe it when people say I look skinny.

    I agree. I've been a healthy weight and active most of my life so when my weight was creeping up, I didn't see how much I had actually gained until I saw it in photos. Now that I'm losing weight, I have two images in my head, one of me at my lowest weight and one of me at my highest and since I'm not at either of those right now, I feel conflicted about what I actually look like.
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
    I used to be very thin, and I never knew it until I was fat. at 125lbs and 5'3" I always thought I was gross, and fat, looking like a busted can of biscuits. Now that I really do look like a busted can of biscuits, I wish I would have enjoyed my nice body when I had it.
  • saintgabriael
    saintgabriael Posts: 3 Member
    I pray Miracles..for all
  • AliciaStinger
    AliciaStinger Posts: 402 Member
    I'm 5'2" tall. When I graduated high school, I weighed 207 pounds; I bought my clothes from Lane Bryant (I looked big in XL shirts and was up to size 16 pants). In 2010, for whatever reason, I started dropping weight...one summer day I stepped on the scale and was down 16 pounds from the last time I looked. May 2012 I reached my lowest weight in years: 173 pounds. I was wearing medium shirts and size 10 pants. I figured by the time I reached size 10 pants and medium shirts - and had lost almost 35 pounds - I'd be where I wanted to be...but every time I looked in the mirror I saw that I was still chunky. Everyone was complimenting me and telling me I looked great (and I did look great), but 173 pounds is still chunky for someone who's so short. I kept seeing how much more I had to lose.

    Just don't give up. I had to take time off due to surgery, illnesses, and an insane schedule that had me on my feet 16 hours a day. I gained back 2/3 of what I lost in a few months. After several tries, I'm really back. I'm working out again, and when I get back down to 173, I'm going to throw a freaking party. Just sayin'!
  • kerricus
    kerricus Posts: 165 Member
    Has anyone read Passing for Thin: Losing Half My Weight and Finding My Self? or Angry Fat Girls : 5 Women, 500 Pounds and a Year of Losing It... Again

    I'm curious what people thought of those books. I've been meaning to read Passing for Thin for years now.
  • Sunshine2plus2
    Sunshine2plus2 Posts: 1,492 Member
    Yes. When I was my heaviest 330 pds and a size 28, after losing 138pds in my mind I was still that big and would continue to go in the store and look at the sz 28 clothing even though I was a 14!
  • Inshape13
    Inshape13 Posts: 680 Member
    It is completely natural for your head to have to catch up with your body in regards to what size you are. I still look in the mirror and see a fat girl and pick at every imperfection I find. Pretty soon you will get the "you are getting too skinny you should stop losing weight comments instead" probably. Have a great weekend, it will get better with time and be proud of yourself.