How is your support system?

My support system is strange.

People in my life:

MOM:
Although she believes that her negativity is support. For example: I tell I lost 10 pounds and her reply is well how much more do you have to go? I personally do not find those comments to be helpful. I go to a gym that takes me about 30 min. or more depending on the day to get there. I travel by bus. I love this gym. I love the people and enjoy my time there. Her comments..well go to the one that is up the street from the house. Stop wasting time going down there. Okay I HATE the gym up the street from the house. So I know I would not go regularly. I would not enjoy it. I HATE THAT PLACE.

SON:
He is 22 years old. He does not say anything good or bad. Although I know he is thinking. Crap mom is on a diet there will be no food here. LOL as he has told me that in the past.

BFF: AWESOME support. She noticed first I had lost weight. She is so proud of me when I tell her what I did at the gym or my weight loss for the week. Even though she is going through some tough times she is so on board with me.

CO-WORKERS:
They all know but only 1 has said she has noticed. The Pharmacist that checks my BP every week. Knows and is very supportive of me.

SP:
I don't get to see him a lot. As he lives a few hours a way for now. I am just waiting for him to notice. But he is a man..it could take 6 months for him to say something.

MY DOCTOR:
She is so freakin proud of me. She set some goals for me. The biggest one was to lose 13 pounds in 12 weeks. Well I blew them all out of the water by losing 22 pounds in month. She said she can see the change in my confidence.

So I find motivation in other places. SInce I don't have a huge personal support system. Music is one place that I find it. Certain songs mean something to me. I use those at the gym when the I want to quit moment comes.

Finding clothes that now fit. OH YEAH that is huge.

Pinterest. I find sayings or ideas that I want to try. I even have the wallpaper on my phone that says... The difference better TRY and TRIUMPH is a little UMPH. I think of this during the day when I need a pick me up.

I started a blog. It is my feelings and what I am changing. Does not matter if no one ever reads it. It is my place.

I have learned how to dig deep a the gym and keep going. I may be thinking of a dress I want to wear, or a time I want to beat. Sometimes it is even thinking how the negative crap people says makes me mad and I keep going.

I am so far enjoying this journey an finding out that I am so much stronger than I think I am.

Replies

  • luckydays27
    luckydays27 Posts: 552 Member
    You also have all of us here at MFP to support you. Congrats on deciding to make a difference in your life. Keep up the great work!

    Oh and my support system consists of my fiance and my trainer. Both encourage me to do great things and be awesome while doing them. My fiance could care less if I am 250 or 150lbs. He loves me no matter what.

    My family is back in the mid-west so I dont see them hardly at all.
    I work from home in my own business so I dont have co-workers.
    I just moved to CA so I have no friends out here. YET!
    I dont advertise my workouts or weight loss on Facebook because many of those people dont "really" know me so they dont need to know all those details about me.

    But I do have the entire MFP community rooting for me (and the rest of us) so when I need encouragement, I read the posts here or post a message on my profile page.
  • Buff2022
    Buff2022 Posts: 373 Member
    I totally agree MFP is a great support system.

    I don't tell on FB either.
  • auburnlady78
    auburnlady78 Posts: 93 Member
    I have to say I have a awesome support group here at home with hubby and kids and also in MFP. My kids walk with me every evening and hubby supports the fact i'm trying to eat differently. Love my support group it really help's me out with my weight loss..
  • tenpoints4u
    tenpoints4u Posts: 17 Member
    My husband is no support. He has CHF and gains water weight, which can come off if he cuts back on salt. He has been sick for a while, but about six weeks ago he had to add another fluid pill to keep from going into failure again. He lost 8 pounds that week and made the comment that he had lost more weight than I did and he didn't even have to try. I wanted to smack him and then tell him, at least mine was fat and won't come back and if his keeps coming back it will eventually be his demise but I didn't. I just said "well you work on your weight and I'll worry about mine".

    My children and grandchildren are awesome. Two of my grandchildren are also overweight and they have joined my at a Zumba class. We go 2 or three times a week depending on whether I have to work on Saturdays. They make comments and are so supportive. They all want me to lose it without having surgery and do everything they can to be there for me.

    My housekeeper is awesome and leaves me little notes all the time of how proud she is of me. She goes with me to a support group for bariatric surgery in the event I do have it at some point in time. (As long as I lose 5 pounds a month I am steady as she goes without it).

    My co-workers are awesome. They recognize new clothes that fit, the changes in my body and any new things I am trying, such as a new hairstyle and makeup again.

    My Zumba class members almost made me cry at the last class and made my heart just burst with encouragement. During the first class I went to one girl came to me and said "I sat out 12 of the 20 songs we did the first time I came. You have moved with every song we have done. I am so proud of you" During the last one, we were doing sit ups and I can barely get my head off the floor, but I tried every one and after about six reps (2 sit ups and 2 butt lifts) the row across from me were saying "you go, girl, you are rocking it" I told them I would be sixty in six months and this was trying to kick my butt. The entire class stopped and clapped. I was overjoyed.

    And the best place in the world for support is right here. MFP's have been so supportive and it is just the best feeling in the world to know there are strangers who don't know me from Adam's house cat, but are recognizing the strides I have made to get this weight off. If I have a temptation moment, I come on here and verbalize it which makes it much easier to avoid doing. I feel I have people on here who will recognize the effort it takes to pass up Carrot Cake and they cheer you on when you do. But at the same time, they are here when you mess up and eat a bag of chips or pizza. It is an awesome group of folks here.

    I have bounced back and forth all my life, but I have never had the support system I have now. I use to think If I didn't have encouragement from my husband then why the H would I worry about whether I was 100 or 300 pounds. He didn't care. He could make all the negative comments when I am fat, but if I lost 10 pounds he couldn't encourage me to make it 20.

    You don't need the world, you need someone. Pick someone who will be encouraging, who you can call or text when you are feeling food crazy. Pick someone who makes you feel special when you say "you know, I only lost 2 ounces this week and I've worked my butt off trying." Let those who are being negative know that they are a part of your life, but if they can't be supportive, then don't say anything. It's not about them anymore, it's about you and your health. Once you can say "I am number one in my life" you will recognize the comments as they are. either they don't know what to say or they are negative in their own way and need to be educated to what you need. Tell your mom "I love you mom and I know you love me, but I don't know if you realize how some of your comments make me feel. IF I tell you I lost ten pounds, just say That is great." I don't need the negative of how much more I have to go. When I get within ten pounds of my goals then ask me. You can do this and we are all here if you need the support.
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
    My wife is my only support....cause she counts and records here too.

    Everyone else in my life, and I mean everyone, is a saboteur!

    I consider the people on this site a good motivator as well.
  • Buff2022
    Buff2022 Posts: 373 Member




    You don't need the world, you need someone. Pick someone who will be encouraging, who you can call or text when you are feeling food crazy. Pick someone who makes you feel special when you say "you know, I only lost 2 ounces this week and I've worked my butt off trying." Let those who are being negative know that they are a part of your life, but if they can't be supportive, then don't say anything. It's not about them anymore, it's about you and your health. Once you can say "I am number one in my life" you will recognize the comments as they are. either they don't know what to say or they are negative in their own way and need to be educated to what you need. Tell your mom "I love you mom and I know you love me, but I don't know if you realize how some of your comments make me feel. IF I tell you I lost ten pounds, just say That is great." I don't need the negative of how much more I have to go. When I get within ten pounds of my goals then ask me. You can do this and we are all here if you need the support.

    That is it right there. I am noticing that as I change both physically and mentally. I see who is going to give me the worse crap. Because she is unhappy and she wants to take me to unhappy land too. I moved out of there since I did not like unhappy land.

    I GOT THIS!
  • Buff2022
    Buff2022 Posts: 373 Member
    My wife is my only support....cause she counts and records here too.

    Everyone else in my life, and I mean everyone, is a saboteur!

    I consider the people on this site a good motivator as well.

    My friend who bakes asked if she could bake me some cookies cause of the crap I am going through. I told her don't feed the fat girl. I have not told her I am working on losing weight either. So I know she is doing it from the heart, not to be mean.

    The major one in my house...well she leaves cookies out, chips out and blah blah blah. I ignore them. I have been going over a month strong.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Be your own support system, or find people that have similar goals so you can help each other. If you focus on the negative your thoughts will center on the negative it will affect your progress.
  • contingencyplan
    contingencyplan Posts: 3,639 Member
    I am my support system.
  • spetermann190
    spetermann190 Posts: 289 Member
    My MFP Friend List and fellow lifters at the gym is pretty much all I have! But YOU IS ALL AWESOME!!! All I Need :)
  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,687 Member
    It's me:) although I must say mfp friends are extra supportive!
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    Only one is my husband.
  • Tiff050709
    Tiff050709 Posts: 497 Member
    I only have a couple of people.

    My MIL and my husband.
    My 8yo will ask me how much weight I've lost and she will always say something nice so I think that's really sweet.
    And there are a couple people on here that are awesome :)

    It would be nice to have someone to go to the gym with or go on walks or have someone eat healthy with me.
  • It's understandable that the people closest to you are not supportive of your decision to get fit. However, that you shouldn't be discouraged by it. They have also developed bad habits throughout the years that seeing you do a 180 degree change is uncomfortable for them. As much as I hate to say it, people hate seeing other people being successful.

    Anyway, you can always come to MFP for support. There are thousands of people here seeking the same support you are! I am apart of a support group on FB and it has helped me stay accountable and begin getting results. The funny thing is that because I decided to stay consistent and lose weight, there are other people around me that have been motivated to do the same thing!

    You can do it my friend! We're all with you on this journey =)
  • MorgueBabe
    MorgueBabe Posts: 1,188 Member
    I just moved across the country so cue violins.
    I've got no real friends yet... so
    I live with my boyfriend. He works CRAZY hours like 70 a week so he is rarely home. We eat separate meals, and he supports me. Even if it means he's cooking his own meals. (I was raised if you don't like what I eat you make your own meal). AND HE STILL 100% supportive even if it's a pain for him. Luckily he likes some things I make so he will eat them if I make them which is good for him.
    Mom lives across country. I'm a vegetarian and she still offers me meat "just a bite!" Bless her heart she means well.
    And that's it.

    If people aren't being supportive or saying hurtful things to you, speak up and tell them to STFU. I don't stand for people in my life who put me down or are not supportive. Life is far too short to be unhappy and miserable.
  • Buff2022
    Buff2022 Posts: 373 Member
    Be your own support system, or find people that have similar goals so you can help each other. If you focus on the negative your thoughts will center on the negative it will affect your progress.

    I totally agree with you.l that is why when someone wants to talk **** and say negative stuff to me. I call them out on it. I let them know that I will not accept them talking to me that way. I tell them in a nice calm soft voice. Then look at the shock on their face when they see I am not playin.
  • TravisBikes
    TravisBikes Posts: 674 Member
    I love my friends list. They are all very supportive. I appreciate them giving kudos and constructive feedback on the things I do. It's been a process making sure I have the best people on MFP that I can find (are you on my list? should you be?).

    I know if they were closer, perhaps I would do more rides with them, or go to the gym.

    But in the end. It's only me, 4am, and an empty gym waiting for me. You have to have the drive and be self-supporting. If you aren't doing it for yourself, why are you doing it anyways?
  • Buff2022
    Buff2022 Posts: 373 Member
    It's understandable that the people closest to you are not supportive of your decision to get fit. However, that you shouldn't be discouraged by it. They have also developed bad habits throughout the years that seeing you do a 180 degree change is uncomfortable for them. As much as I hate to say it, people hate seeing other people being successful.

    Anyway, you can always come to MFP for support. There are thousands of people here seeking the same support you are! I am apart of a support group on FB and it has helped me stay accountable and begin getting results. The funny thing is that because I decided to stay consistent and lose weight, there are other people around me that have been motivated to do the same thing!

    You can do it my friend! We're all with you on this journey =)

    Please don't worry I am not letting any of this negative from people get to me. I am using it to push me harder. I have certain people who are so supportive of me. I just find it funny that the person who should LOVE you more than anything can be so mean. But I look at it as she is unhappy and needs to change but is afraid to. I am not afraid to change anymore. I welcome it and look forward to it.

    I AGREE MFP is a great place. In fact I check in a few times a day to see what others are doing. Offer a word of encouragement and praise.
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  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
    I have zero support outside MFP. Most people think I'm crazy with my workout schedule, which is pretty subdued, if you ask me; 3 or 4 days a week for no more than an hour. One of my best friends thinks its all I do is workout. It's crazy.

    Anyway, no one supports what I do and some go so far as to point out how it's bad for me when I say I'm sore or whatever. But, I just do it anyway. They are all fat and lazy. So, why would I listen to them?

    BAM!!!! Right there. Whenever someone makes a remark, I will give them a quick lookover. If they are packing 2-3 spare tires around their waist (I'm a guy so that's usually where it is on guys), they probably don't have a clue anyway!
  • Buff2022
    Buff2022 Posts: 373 Member
    I have zero support outside MFP. Most people think I'm crazy with my workout schedule, which is pretty subdued, if you ask me; 3 or 4 days a week for no more than an hour. One of my best friends thinks its all I do is workout. It's crazy.

    Anyway, no one supports what I do and some go so far as to point out how it's bad for me when I say I'm sore or whatever. But, I just do it anyway. They are all fat and lazy. So, why would I listen to them?

    I had a friend call me the other day. Read me the riot act on how I don't call or come over like I use to. Okay well needless to say he caught me at a bad time. I have a friend who is dying as I type. I am just waiting for the call that she is gone. I have another friend who is going through a horrible breakup. I have another friend who needed my help finding his family. So when I am not consumed with all that. I have been working out. I told (break up friend) maybe I seem selfish that I go to the gym instead of hanging out. But I need to keep my sanity. She told me that --- Was a good kind of selfishness and keep it up (that is what I call support)

    So no you are not crazy. You find your motivation an support where you can. You live your life and hope they understand someday. If not you make new friends along the way.
  • catneon
    catneon Posts: 911 Member
    Yup It's me, myself and I!...at the end of the day I am accountable for what I do or not do. I try not to look to others for approval and/or recognition as that could easily sabotage my efforts when they don't react or notice when I expect them too and when they do it's even nicer!
    Thats' why I'm on MFP same minded people all here on similar journeys and we understand the difficulties / bad days and good days and are here to support, encourage and help each other thru it all to a successful finish!!
  • LilSugaFree
    LilSugaFree Posts: 12 Member
    I got 3 coworkers to join MFP, and we pretty much support each other. Today is my first day logging online and seeing this wonderful community. I am hoping to find new friends and great support here as well. Plus I return the support!