my friend

griffswoman · July 2010

Am not sure what to do, I have a friend who had a baby 4 months ago and then went on a mammoth diet to try and lose her baby fat. Cut a long story short, she cut out carbs, fat and calories to the point where she only eats salad. She is now 112lbs and not feeling particularly well. Her doctor has told her she is anorexic and is killing herself but despite encouragement she will eat nothing unless its salad, even tried coaxing her with a ham salad but she disgarded the ham and said it made her feel sick.
I have told her about MFP and how it trains your body to eat the right nutrients but she just wasnt interested.
Yesterday she lifted her shirt and her tummy is sunken and her ribs prominent, am worried sick about her. Can anyone offer advice?

amieclaire · July 2010

Can't you show her what she's putting at risk? A beautiful 4 month old baby, a happy marriage, etc. Show her what she stands to lose. But if not, I guess trying to get her professional help would be the best thing you could do.

chelseablue13 · July 2010

You didn't mention if she has a partner. If so, can't he help?

griffswoman · July 2010

partner is a waste of space

marymooster · July 2010

well.... all you can really do is what you have done.... at some point you will have to let go. Because until she see's she has a problem she has no problem.She has tumbled from one end of the spectrum to the other... she is in the same place when folks are morbidly obese and can't see they need help either... speaking from that point of view... the only thing that people trying to help me did was to set in my mind that I was ok..... and they were wrong. So.... Help as you can without creating tension ir falling out between the two of you. Because when she realizes it... she will need your friendship and help and accept it.

SHBoss1673 · July 2010

Well, you can try an intervention, or working with other family members, but really in the end, anorexia is not about food, it's about power. If she is really anorexic, you need to sit down with her and explain that she needs psychological help, maybe she'll listen, maybe she won't, but that's not up to you, you can't drag her to treatment. There must be something pretty terrible happening (or has happened in her past) in her life for this, generally it doesn't just come from wanting to be thin.

lulabellewoowoo · July 2010

Could she be suffering from postpartum depression? A lot of times, anorexia is linked to a person needing to feel in control. I had similar issues after the birth of my second child, and didn't recognize it for awhile because I didn't experience it with my first child, and also just figured it was caused by stress of cheating husband. I'm assuming she may not be breastfeeding? I can't imagine her being able to produce enough milk. If not, then maybe she can talk to her doctor about some anti-depressant medication. Postpartum depression is sometimes hard to notice.

Continue being a good friend. She is probably screaming out for help in her own way.

griffswoman · July 2010

Thankyou for all your helpful words, I hadn't thought of postpartum depression but sounds like this could be the thing. She told me yesterday that her doctor had threatened her with being sectioned if she isn't careful. Sounds to me like she needs some councelling and maybe medication. Will carry on being as supportive as i can

taijade · July 2010

You're a wonderful person and good friend for trying to help this lady.
Perhaps you could try, as others have suggested, some kind of intervention...She has so much to get and stay healthy for and it sounds like she's just totally lost sight of that in her bid to lose weight.

I really hope that she starts taking care of herself and finds the help she needs.

my friend

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