Adults with a fear of driving?

BflSaberfan
BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
in Chit-Chat
I will admit it, I am 31 and do not have my license. I am deathly afraid to drive. Not to be in a car, but to be in control of a car. Well this worked out fine for me up until now and due to some pretty drastic changes in my life I will no longer be able to get by without a license. I do have my permit and I CAN drive...I chose not to because I'm afraid.

Next week I am taking a 5 hour course and then will be able to schedule my road test. I'm terrified but I know I have no excuse not to do this and I have no choice. I keep reassuring myself I really only have to get myself to and from work which is not a bad drive at all. I plan on avoiding highways for pretty much the rest of my life if I can...

Has anyone else gotten their license much later in life? Any advice?
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Replies

  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    I didn't get mine until like 8 months after I legally could have when i was teenager.

    Dad bought our family a boat...
  • bearkisses
    bearkisses Posts: 1,252 Member
    i am. i have had my g1 (learners permit) for almost 5 years, it expires in june. i live in a very busy area. i keep making excuses...like when i am in a less populated area, i will practice.
  • ExploreLoveRide
    ExploreLoveRide Posts: 17
    I didn't get my DL until I was 21, and I still have a fear of driving on the highways (side-/back-roads all the way!).

    I'm interested in hearing what people have to say. :3
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    When and where I was a kid, you could get your license at 15. I could start dating when I could drive a car.
    I got my license the day after my 15th birthday.

    So, I guess, motivation is the key.

    Good luck overcoming your fears. Perhaps some professional help regarding phobias?
  • Lyby
    Lyby Posts: 42
    Are you afraid that you will hit something/someone and not know it?

    This is actually a common fear that cripples many people from driving.
    I suffered from it for many years (terribly paranoid every time I drove) and I saw a report on it on 20/20 or some other news show.

    One of the therapies they demonstrated on the show was putting 5 pound bags of flour in various places in a parking lot and then driving slowly around the parking lot (with someone supportive in the car with you) and hitting each of the bags. You come to realize what it feels like when you actually do hit something and nobody gets hurt. If you feel the impact of a 5 pound bag of flour, it's easy to extrapolate that you would feel much more the impact with a person and wouldn't unknowingly drag someone under your car unless you were intoxicated.
  • Excuse_less
    Excuse_less Posts: 874 Member
    I was driving grain trucks fully loaded on the highway by the time I was 14 so I was more than ready to drive a car lol
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
    where is your road test gonna be? I want make sure im at least 100 miles away from that area!

    j/k of course. Youll be fine. The more u drive the more comfortable you'll be. There is nothing to it. If you really want to get over your fear of driving, drive through times square a few times...nothing else will ever scare you.... ever!
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
    On certain roads, I am nervous: packed interstates where traffic is moving swiftly; narrow, winding roads on the edge of a cliff; round-abouts in big cities; NYC at rush hour.....

    There's nothing wrong with acknowledging a rational fear.
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
    Are you afraid that you will hit something/someone and not know it?

    This is actually a common fear that cripples many people from driving.
    I suffered from it for many years (terribly paranoid every time I drove) and I saw a report on it on 20/20 or some other news show.

    One of the therapies they demonstrated on the show was putting 5 pound bags of flour in various places in a parking lot and then driving slowly around the parking lot (with someone supportive in the car with you) and hitting each of the bags. You come to realize what it feels like when you actually do hit something and nobody gets hurt. If you feel the impact of a 5 pound bag of flour, it's easy to extrapolate that you would feel much more the impact with a person and wouldn't unknowingly drag someone under your car unless you were intoxicated.

    My fear is mainly getting into a situation and not knowing what to do, possibly panicking and causing an accident.
  • CannibalisticVegetarian
    CannibalisticVegetarian Posts: 1,255 Member
    I had that same kind of fear and so I didn't really obtain a license until I was pressured into getting it.. At 25. I'm alright with small distance driving as of now (it has only been 7 months since I've gotten the license), but there are friends of mines who are destined to get me out on the road for longer periods. They are working with me to get on the interstates---which is my number 1 fear of driving, and are showing me the ropes.

    It's really not that bad once you get used to all of it. I think you'll be fine. Alls you need is practice and confidence. Pay close attention to yourself and others around you (because there are idiot drivers lurking around every corner). Oh.. and lasty.. Don't panic. You got this though. I believe in you, OP!
  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,687 Member
    I was afraid of train tracks and highway driving for about two years. I had heart palpitations just thinking about it. Then my job required that I do it every day. It was hard at first but now I am quite fine. I am very grateful that this is over. I was starting to believe that I would have to rely on other people to take me to far away places for the rest of my life.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    I have my license and have had it since I was 17 but I'm scared to drive on the highway with my current car. My car is pretty sh!tty and I'm afraid that it will break down while I'm driving. When I was using my mom's car, I was perfectly fine with it, though.
  • ProphetOfDoom
    ProphetOfDoom Posts: 13 Member
    I'm 21 and have been driving for around five or so years. I'm pretty much the opposite to you it seems, as i'm quite afraid of not being in control of the car when someone else is driving.
  • carrietehbear
    carrietehbear Posts: 384 Member
    I didn't get my license until I was almost 23 years old. I was terrified of driving. I still really hate going new places when I drive. I like to stick to the same roads.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    i got my license at the age of 18, but i do have a small fear of driving.
    i only use my car for work, which is only a 15 minute drive. other than that, i refuse to drive any farther than in my comfort zone. i get anxious and nervous while driving. it's fine at night, when there's no other cars. other people are what make me nervous. honestly, my city is known for its "worst drivers in canada" and believe me, on my way to work every morning, i get cut off atleast twice. i usually have to use my horn. ugh it just makes me mad.

    i would say for you, just to take lessons, and get in the car with someone you trust and have them help you.
    even though i've had my license for years, i'm getting my dad to help me drive around the city this summer to help me get more comfortable.
  • belleparis
    belleparis Posts: 111
    Driving is a big responsibility because you have to protect yourself and others. the best thing you can do it is follow the rules and you will be ok. Unknown situations will always happen, don't think too much and act quickly. If you wonder too much, those around you are not sure what to do either. Give it time, it takes a while to feel truly comfortable. I believe if you follow the rules, go at your own pace, everything will be ok. Good luck to you. You CAN do this...so many of us regular people do it...you've GOT this! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • LuckySe7en
    LuckySe7en Posts: 49
    I am 23 and I still haven't gotten my license. I live in Boston and the way people drive here scare me into panic attacks sometimes. It sucks.
  • Woomytron
    Woomytron Posts: 253 Member
    I'm going to be 25 and I still don't drive. I have tried.. and HATED it. I rather someone else (my husband) drive. I have no need to drive anyways... if I need something it within walking distance.
  • Penny427
    Penny427 Posts: 166 Member
    OP--I have a fear of driving too. I do have my license and have had it for many years but I just choose not to drive. Its scary out there, every time Im in the car I see people getting cut off and just making poor decisions...in these moments I say to myself dang, Im a better driver than that! But, I just rather not be the one behind the wheel....I hate that I have this fear because I feel that it has held me back alot, but it is still a very real fear.
  • xaMErica
    xaMErica Posts: 284 Member
    I got my license when I was 17. I started driving in Garner (when I was like 11-13) I started driving legally in Fayetteville NC.. wasn't bad. I moved to Myrtle Beach in SC.. still wasn't too bad at all! I now live in Southern California.. -_- I am DEATHLY afraid of those f**king freeways! People around here CANNOT drive. Highways don't scare me any more.. but those damn freeways. I see the sign 'freeway entrance' and it makes my head do a spin!

    My fiancée is going to be 23 in June and he still doesn't have his. My aunt is 32 and doesn't have hers either..
  • kristinebolton5
    kristinebolton5 Posts: 19 Member
    I had my beginners when I was 18 and let it expire & I'm now 32 & truly have no interest in getting my DL. I cannot drive straight, I drive towards the right side curb lol and I admit I have road rage. My boyfriend is forever yelling at me to be quiet because I will curse at people. I'm scared of driving past school buses, transport trucks, cant look when we go over a bridge & I believe the highways are full of morons that have no sense of speed control. As I have road rage, fear of big moving vehicles, bridges & cant drive straight, I know I'm a danger :)
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
    I was PETRIFIED to learn how to drive at 17, but I desperately wanted the freedom that came with it, and to prove to myself that I COULD do it. I can't imagine not being able to drive; it literally became a form of escapism for me for a while, when I was at my highest weight and didn't want to work out... /cough

    Really, my best advice is to just bite the bullet and get on with it. You're going to be afraid-- it's natural. You're going to make mistakes-- that's natural too. I was scared sh!tless about driving on the interstates and large highways -- now I prefer them, because I think the most dangerous parts of driving are at stoplight intersections and residential areas where people think it's fine to just blow stop signs constantly. However, it's still draining to drive in heavy traffic, especially merging. You just develop more confidence with practice.

    I remember waving 2, 3, 4 people on before me at 4-way stops (because I was so paranoid about cutting someone off)... even when it was clearly my time to go... ^_^; my mom would literally yell, "Amber, just GO! It's your turn!!" :laugh:
  • SweetestLibby
    SweetestLibby Posts: 607 Member
    I didn't get my license until I was 25 (last year). I'd had my permit for 5 years but I kept putting it off because I was afraid. PRACTICE helps a lot. I was terified of getting into a situation where I would panic and end up causing an accident. Once I started driving regularly and I encountered those situations (bad weather, silly drivers, etc) I learned to trust my abilities and I learned how to keep calm!
  • jelk8881
    jelk8881 Posts: 49 Member
    I will be 25 soon and do not have my license. I have driven before everyone says I drive like an old lady I sit straight up and concentrate. I cant handle a car if it is going more than 45mph. I freak out on bridges so when I do get my license cause I am gonna have to soon, it will only be short distances that I drive.
  • KristysLosing
    KristysLosing Posts: 683
    I have heard that getting you DL later makes it harder. My MIL is almost 60, and I'm not fully comfortable with her driving. She got her license later, too. I'm sorry, I don't really have any advice. All you can do is practice. Hopefully you will feel better over time. The only thing that is going to prepare you for those situations you fear and practice at driving. I love to drive and take road trips. I hope someday you reach a point like that. :flowerforyou: Good luck!
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
    I'm 21 and have been driving for around five or so years. I'm pretty much the opposite to you it seems, as i'm quite afraid of not being in control of the car when someone else is driving.

    This is me! I've been driving since I was 17 (and am now 25) and would much rather be the DD and take everyone else home than sit in the passenger seat-- the only exception to this is when I'm unfamiliar with the area (such as going on vacation out of state), or when I'm simply too exhausted to focus.
  • RumOne
    RumOne Posts: 266 Member
    I didn't get my learners till I was 21 (rarely drove) and then didn't get my actual licence till it almost expired 7 years later. I was afraid of the road test. My husband made me take it as we moved top a new area and I had to drive the kids to the bus stop every day. Now I couldn't imagine life without it. I actually enjoy driving. Being aware of the responsibility is a good thing. It will mean you won't take it for granted.
  • crystalflame
    crystalflame Posts: 1,049 Member
    I was living overseas when I turned 16, so I didn't get my license until I was 18. Mostly I got it so I'd have some form of ID; I didn't drive alone for another year. It freaked me out SO badly, for the same reasons as you - I thought I'd get in a bad situation, not know how to handle it, and something terrible would happen. The only thing that changed that was time on the road. I got comfortable with driving to the grocery store, then to my summer job, then farther. I got comfortable with my car and how it handled; I learned its limitations. I studied defensive driving. Now, I'm a lot more scared when someone else is driving because I can point out about 10 things they do wrong in the space of 5 minutes. HATE IT. I wish I didn't have to ever be in a car, period, but being able to drive yourself gives you a lot more control than depending on other people.
  • paulalyons11
    paulalyons11 Posts: 1 Member
    I didn't get my license until I was 44. I'd always been terrified to be in control of a car. I even used to have what I call "driving nightmares" where I would get my then 7 year old son to drive in my dream... telling him..."don't tell Daddy!!".

    I do have my license now. Once I decided to finally do it, It took me 5 months of practicing. I started out very small... trips to the corner store to my home every day after work (my husband would pick me up and drive to the corner store). This was a simple trip, but involved one of my big fears... an intersection. LOL After a week I felt comfortable and moved on to my next fear... parking lots! Went to Walmart every night after supper for a week. You get the idea. I started off with short trips and each success gave me a little more confidence. It was basically forcing myself to keep doing it until it stopped being so terrifying. I still have anxiety (lane changing, merging and routes that I'm not familiar with) but each success makes it easier! Just keep at it and good luck!
  • jelk8881
    jelk8881 Posts: 49 Member
    I had my beginners when I was 18 and let it expire & I'm now 32 & truly have no interest in getting my DL. I cannot drive straight, I drive towards the right side curb lol and I admit I have road rage. My boyfriend is forever yelling at me to be quiet because I will curse at people. I'm scared of driving past school buses, transport trucks, cant look when we go over a bridge & I believe the highways are full of morons that have no sense of speed control. As I have road rage, fear of big moving vehicles, bridges & cant drive straight, I know I'm a danger :)

    Lol that is so me too. I hate the huge trucks. I am always yelling at people. Hate bridges and dont like driving over 45mph. And a lot of people who have there license probably shouldnt. So my fiance does all the driving. But I will have to get mine soon to go to work and back. :noway:

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