What's the right thing to do???

memaw66
memaw66 Posts: 2,558 Member
edited September 18 in Health and Weight Loss
Okay, I have bee strugling with what is the right thing to do so I am turning to you guys for your opinions.
Both of my parents have passed away over the past 9 months. I am the only biological child. I have an "adopted" sister. But there are no adoption papers. My parents took her in so that my grandmother wouldn't give her to just "anyone". So, if you read that right, she is my biological aunt. She has never been reliable or respectable. She has never worked and has always been on welfare. She was in prison for 3 years.Dad passed away in August of last year.I tried to get her to go with me to talk to Dad before he passed away but she wouldn't go because her back hurt. Then Mom got really sick right after that. My daughter and I were the only ones that would take care of her. I work 40 hours a week and live 40 miles away. My "sister" doesn't work and lives 5 miles away but refused to help with anything. She never called me once in the 9 months that we were caring for mom to ask if she could help or just talk ro see if I needed a break. Then after Mom passed away, she starts calling to see how we are going to divide everything. I didn't take any of her calls and never called her back. I just needed time to greive. I had the only keys to the house. Well, she and her son broke into the house and stole little stuff, gold watch, socks, lighters, jewlery boxes.I know it was her because the neighbors saw her and called me. There was no will. Do you think she still deserves half of everything??? I already gave her Mom's car. All she had to say about that was "I wanted the truck". Not even a thank you! Your opinions would be greatly appreciated. I have been struggling with this for a while now.
Memaw

Replies

  • memaw66
    memaw66 Posts: 2,558 Member
    Okay, I have bee strugling with what is the right thing to do so I am turning to you guys for your opinions.
    Both of my parents have passed away over the past 9 months. I am the only biological child. I have an "adopted" sister. But there are no adoption papers. My parents took her in so that my grandmother wouldn't give her to just "anyone". So, if you read that right, she is my biological aunt. She has never been reliable or respectable. She has never worked and has always been on welfare. She was in prison for 3 years.Dad passed away in August of last year.I tried to get her to go with me to talk to Dad before he passed away but she wouldn't go because her back hurt. Then Mom got really sick right after that. My daughter and I were the only ones that would take care of her. I work 40 hours a week and live 40 miles away. My "sister" doesn't work and lives 5 miles away but refused to help with anything. She never called me once in the 9 months that we were caring for mom to ask if she could help or just talk ro see if I needed a break. Then after Mom passed away, she starts calling to see how we are going to divide everything. I didn't take any of her calls and never called her back. I just needed time to greive. I had the only keys to the house. Well, she and her son broke into the house and stole little stuff, gold watch, socks, lighters, jewlery boxes.I know it was her because the neighbors saw her and called me. There was no will. Do you think she still deserves half of everything??? I already gave her Mom's car. All she had to say about that was "I wanted the truck". Not even a thank you! Your opinions would be greatly appreciated. I have been struggling with this for a while now.
    Memaw
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    First, sorry for your loss, that's terrible. :flowerforyou:

    Secondly, did your parents have a will??
  • yoginimary
    yoginimary Posts: 6,788 Member
    uh, no, she doesn't deserve a dime. I would even consider prosecution for the robbery.
  • memaw66
    memaw66 Posts: 2,558 Member
    First, sorry for your loss, that's terrible. :flowerforyou:

    Secondly, did your parents have a will??
    My dad left everything to my mom but she didn't have a will.
  • Shannon023
    Shannon023 Posts: 14,529 Member
    First, sorry for your loss, that's terrible. :flowerforyou:

    Secondly, did your parents have a will??
    My dad left everything to my mom but she didn't have a will.

    It may be out of your hands for awhile before it goes through probate.

    Your sister deserves nothing, imho. :flowerforyou:
  • memaw66
    memaw66 Posts: 2,558 Member
    uh, no, she doesn't deserve a dime. I would even consider prosecution for the robbery.
    I DID make a police report and so did the neighbor that saw her. The police said that they would turn it over to the detective to see if it's worth pursuing. I haven't heard anything yet.
  • gabi_ele
    gabi_ele Posts: 460 Member
    There will always will be people that can never get enough, that think the world owes them and they deserve the best of everything without giving an inch:mad: . I think it's up to you what you want to give her, since you did all the work, helped your parents when they needet you and took care of things. As far as I'm concerned you owe her nothing, if she couldn't be bothered when your parents needet her, then you can't be bothered now:laugh: My parents live 3000 miles away so when my dad passed away suddenly I made every efford to be there as fast as I could. My sister got the house( which is ok by me) I got money from the sale of some property. I'm not upset that my sister is getting more, since she is going to have to take care of my mom if something happens. ( I am the oldest) The way it sounds to me is that no matter what you do she is not going to be happy anyway. I would however make sure that all the valubles are out of the house especially the things you want to keep and I would tell her the next time she goes to the house without permission you will call the Law on her. Oh and I wouldn't worry what people thought, they will talk no matter what.
    I hope I helped a little
  • aladuke26
    aladuke26 Posts: 37 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss. Your sister does not deserve anything. It most likely will have to go through probate, but since there was no legal papers for your sister, I don't know that she would get anything anyways. I hope everything works out for you.:flowerforyou:
  • memaw66
    memaw66 Posts: 2,558 Member
    The strange thing is now my grandmother, my "sister"s biological mother, is trying to make sure she gets all she can. She wasn't worried about her 44 years ago, why start now??? I have had to start going to counseling because this is tearing me up inside. The whole family except one aunt has turned against me so it's like I have lost my parents and my entire extended family. Just crazy.

    Thanks guys.
  • Kimosabe
    Kimosabe Posts: 71
    You know my mom went thru this with her brothers when the oldest brother died. I wouldn't worry about it, just let probate handle it for now. But try your darndest to make sure she doesn't get anything. As for your family, they aren't much of one if they are just going to drop you that quickly over the stupid stuff that your "sister" is doing.

    I do wish you the best, I'll pray for you that everything will work out for the best.

    Good Luck!
  • casey34472
    casey34472 Posts: 280 Member
    I'm so sorry for your loss!:frown:


    Your mom gave her a car. That seem fair. You are the only biological child. Of course everything goes to you. It would have been less stressful if your mom had a will. Well since her son broke in the house. If he hadn't I would have said give her something to remember her bye but forget that now. She is just greedy. They want to make you suffer more and try to push you around. Don't let them.
  • tparkin
    tparkin Posts: 126 Member
    First of all, I think you should be proud of how you have handled things so far. It is never easy to deal with people who feel that they are entitled to things they are not. Know that you have always been their for others when you had the ability and hope that in the end things will be settled justly.

    Best wishes :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

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  • mzrobbie
    mzrobbie Posts: 33
    You need to contact a lawyer. Each individual state has its own laws of intestacy that determine who is entitled to the property from the estate under the rules of inheritance when there is no will. Usually, property goes first to a spouse, then if there is no spouse (as in your parents' case) then to children and their descendants.

    If your sister was not legally adopted, then she is likely to have no recourse. In most cases, she would only inherit if you or your descendants passed away.

    The operation of these laws varies from one jurisdiction to another. As a lawyer, I am telling you that you need to contact a lawyer who is licensed in your parents' state of residence. Obviously, what you choose to give her of your own accord is up to you.

    By the way, if you want any of the items back that she stole, you need to contact the police because what she did was illegal on many levels.

    Best wishes to you. :flowerforyou:
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    I am so sorry for your loss. And I'm sorry your family is treating you the way they are. In my opinion your "sister" doesn't deserve anything. And talk about ungrateful! That said, please keep in mind that your MFP family is here for you in any way we can be. I hope everything works out for you. God bless you. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    Betty
  • BreaNix
    BreaNix Posts: 205 Member
    You need to contact a lawyer. Each individual state has its own laws of intestacy that determine who is entitled to the property from the estate under the rules of inheritance when there is no will. Usually, property goes first to a spouse, then if there is no spouse (as in your parents' case) then to children and their descendants.

    If your sister was not legally adopted, then she is likely to have no recourse. In most cases, she would only inherit if you or your descendants passed away.

    The operation of these laws varies from one jurisdiction to another. As a lawyer, I am telling you that you need to contact a lawyer who is licensed in your parents' state of residence. Obviously, what you choose to give her of your own accord is up to you.

    By the way, if you want any of the items back that she stole, you need to contact the police because what she did was illegal on many levels.

    Best wishes to you. :flowerforyou:

    That is great advice.
    I am soooo sorry for your loss.
    Stay strong.
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