why is everyone so hung up on THE number?!?!

I see so many people hung up on I only lost X amount of pounds in so many weeks.....and most will add that they have lost SO much in inches.

It is only really healthy to lose about 1 lb a week, yes if you work hard you can and will lose more at first BUT it's not a race and everyone isn't the same. If you do it the wrong way and lose it too quickly, chances are you will gain some or more back soon enough. Slow and steady wins the race.

I am a tiny framed 5 foot tall woman. the doctor gives me a goal weight of 115 to 125. That is WAY too high for someone who naturally weighed less than 100 lbs from 18 to 27 (I ate like a beast, and was very active) with a small build. I found the less active I was the more crap I consumed and after hitting about 32 years old....it all changed. I realized I had to maintain a health style of life, eating better, exercising etc. and I was reminded of that fact at least three times over the last 4 years. This time I had a bout of depression several factors happened at once to put me into it. Over the course of 10 months I had gained quite a bit of weight (for me).

Ideally I'd love to be around or just under 110. BUT it's a feeling. Yes, losing a certain amount of weight is a huge thing but if I lost 13+ combined inches and went down 2 sizes but weighed more than my goal. I STILL WIN.

It's a feeling. Being comfortable in your own skin. Wearing clothes that fit well sizes below your current one. If you get hung up on the number you may well get discouraged or start self loathing. Skip the scale and measure. It won't do you wrong. Because eventually you will stall and gain BUT muscle weighs more than fat therefore eventually the scale will not show you what you want but you are still winning. Your clothes and mirror and measuring tape won't lie!
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Replies

  • KayLgee
    KayLgee Posts: 136 Member
    Some people know how they felt at a certain weight and want to get back there also some people have deadlines for holidays and are making a goal to work towards.

    Personally I like to have a goal because I push myself to get their but if I don't its not the end of the world.
  • chandy2809
    chandy2809 Posts: 42 Member
    I was loosing fine - went on steroids for health reasons and stopped loosing, now on new medication and was going to Slimming World weekly. Went to the doc as i wasnt lossing weight! she told me to stop looking at the numbers and concentrate on how i feel! she told me to only weigh in every month - so thats what im doing. half way through first month and im feeling better than i have done in ages! i feel in control and if i dont lose its not the end of the world and i know i feel healthier and that i am. :-)
  • Christinamarie77
    Christinamarie77 Posts: 50 Member
    There was a woman on here that posted she only lost 6 lbs since Feb, and then as an after thought mentioned she'd lost 13 total inches. I feel sad that that isn't viewed as a HUGE victory :(
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,332 Member
    IMO, the mirror is the best indicator of how a person should look (assuming they don't have a condition which affects what they see). If you like the image and are happy with it, a number on the scale should be just that.... a number.
  • oX_Vanessa_Xo
    oX_Vanessa_Xo Posts: 478
    Imo, ANY loss is something to be proud about. Id only be upset if I busted my *kitten* for a month straight and only lost ONE pound.
  • oX_Vanessa_Xo
    oX_Vanessa_Xo Posts: 478
    IMO, the mirror is the best indicator of how a person should look (assuming they don't have a condition which affects what they see). If you like the image and are happy with it, a number on the scale should be just that.... a number.

    Hmmm I hate mirrors! I walked to the sanitizer for the machine at the gym, big mirror towards it. I was like well, I guess I dont look that fat eh? On my way back to the machine, different mirror, I was like, whoa... like I had theme music matching my every step " thu thump tha thump tha thump thump thump"
  • tryinghard71
    tryinghard71 Posts: 593
    I have said this a 1,000 times on MFP and I will say it again. I can't stress enough the importance of measuring instead of weighing. You can do both but writing down measurements weekly will show you success the scale will not. When I first started out for the first two months the scale did not move but I was losing a 1/2 inch to an inch a week.
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
    I was happiest when I weighed about 120 pounds. But I wasn't very muscular or fit. I now know, that with weight lifting, if I get down to that same size(6) I will definitely weigh more. I'm totally okay with that.
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
    Imo, ANY loss is something to be proud about. Id only be upset if I busted my *kitten* for a month straight and only lost ONE pound.

    But what if with that one pound, you lost 6 inches and can actually see changes in your muscle definition. Wouldn't that be better than if you lost 6 pounds but didn't really see a difference? Inches are better, I promise. There's a big difference between "losing weight" and "losing fat".
  • gracielynn1011
    gracielynn1011 Posts: 726 Member
    Some people compare themselves to others too much. I am completely happy with "only" 1lb per week. I will admit that I do worry when I don't lose, and maybe stress out a little because I am still trying to lose body fat, but any progress is good to me.

    I have a friend at work, who found out I had lost weight, about 8 lbs at that point. He decided to do low carb diet, and had to tell me that he lost 8 lbs the first week. The second week when he didn't lose any, he quit the diet :ohwell: He was trying to rub it in my face that in one week he had lost more than I had in 2 months.
  • oX_Vanessa_Xo
    oX_Vanessa_Xo Posts: 478
    Imo, ANY loss is something to be proud about. Id only be upset if I busted my *kitten* for a month straight and only lost ONE pound.

    But what if with that one pound, you lost 6 inches and can actually see changes in your muscle definition. Wouldn't that be better than if you lost 6 pounds but didn't really see a difference? Inches are better, I promise. There's a big difference between "losing weight" and "losing fat".

    Very true!
  • Christinamarie77
    Christinamarie77 Posts: 50 Member
    Some people compare themselves to others too much. I am completely happy with "only" 1lb per week. I will admit that I do worry when I don't lose, and maybe stress out a little because I am still trying to lose body fat, but any progress is good to me.

    I have a friend at work, who found out I had lost weight, about 8 lbs at that point. He decided to do low carb diet, and had to tell me that he lost 8 lbs the first week. The second week when he didn't lose any, he quit the diet :ohwell: He was trying to rub it in my face that in one week he had lost more than I had in 2 months.

    How rude is that?!?! yuck. we all know women take longer and have a harder time than men losing weight. what a jerk!
  • Cbdaugh2
    Cbdaugh2 Posts: 15
    At my happiest weight, I was really muscular at 5' and 125 pounds. Now that I'm not muscular and reached that goal I am not satisfied. I agree though. Slow and steady wins the race. I have been living healthier since January 2012 and have lost 18 pounds. I have had friends do it faster, but this is what works for me!
  • DAM5412
    DAM5412 Posts: 660 Member
    I'm glad I found this thread! I have been working out and eating healthier for my longest consistent period over the past 4 months. Today my husband asked me how much weight have I lost, and didn't believe me when I said NONE. Yep, none. My weight fluctuates a few pounds due to being a woman and where I am in my cycle, but I have not lost any weight. And it's frustrating for me. As a woman, I want to see that number going down!

    I do see other things, like my clothes bagging or my fitting into my skinny pants. My strength and endurance have increased, a lot. I ran my first 5k and I have done so many workouts which I couldn't 4 months ago. I know I've lost inches and I feel much stronger. I've cut back on alcohol and I watch my diet and try to hit my calorie targets every day. I've had 4 binge days since January, but that scale ain't moving.

    And, I'm not going to lie, I want to see that scale move. It doesn't mean I don't appreciate what I've accomplished so far. It just means I want to be lighter. I don't want to hear about how muscle weighs more than fat, because I can't be gaining that much muscle without first blasting some fat.
  • ShrinkingNinja
    ShrinkingNinja Posts: 460 Member
    There was a woman on here that posted she only lost 6 lbs since Feb, and then as an after thought mentioned she'd lost 13 total inches. I feel sad that that isn't viewed as a HUGE victory :(

    Inches are nice to lose...

    But the number on the scale is what my horse has to carry around when we go riding. To her... 40lbs or muscle... 40lbs of fat is still 40lbs. And while I am an excellent rider and she has no problem carrying me around... I still want to make her carry as little of me as possible. LOL
  • lovemitch125
    lovemitch125 Posts: 257 Member
    I can't wait to go home, measure myself, and try on smaller clothes and everything else. I haven't gotten a chance to do that here at school BUT, as much as I have always agreed with this "not dying over the scale" I still weight myself every few days.
    Today I got another Body Fat check done. I was upset last time because even though I had lost 15 lbs since the one before, I went from 30% BF to 33% BF. This was very annoying. The last Body Fat Check was done April 9th 2013
    That week I decided to minimize (but not cut out completely) my cardio and starting lifting benching and do ab workouts with weights. I did not realize it has only been 4 weeks since starting.

    Well I retested again today and saw that there has only been a 2 lbs difference since April 9th, BUT

    I have gone from 33% BF to 28% BF, I have lost 10 lbs in fat and gained weight in my lean body weight, water weight and protein/mineral weight. My skinfold measurements were incredibly smaller numbers and my body is becoming slimmer.

    My work shorts and pants literally just fall off now, the belts that used to barely latch the last whole, now are flying extra belt on the side of me. My bras are all too big and my legs are the smallest I have ever seen.

    The scale is just a number. Although I can't see much toneness yet (since it's only been 4 weeks) I know I am making progress and it will show with time :bigsmile:
  • delor44
    delor44 Posts: 71
    Ths is a great post! And I agree with everyone. I was fighting to lose that last five to seven poinds when I found MFP. since then, I have relaly embraced thew lifestyle over the diet. I amy nt lose anymore wight and I am now okay with that. I have been working out regularly, I feel so much better, I have lost inches and 4% of my BF. I have energy I have nt had since my early thiirties and have almost totally quit smoking (small laspe going on now...) But most importantly I am making the changes that I know are sustainable.

    We women always seem to compare ourselves with others and are our own worst critics. My husband told me last wek I look better than I did when we got married. Was an awesome NSV and reality check. This is the motivation that will keep me moving, not the scale.
  • drefaw
    drefaw Posts: 739
    I don't understand it either really. I weigh myself daily for my workout log book. But don't really pay attention to it much. I measure, and check BF%. As losing inches and BF% is a real indicator as to how you are actually doing. And my goal is only loosely weight related. It's more about BF%.

    I was 250/26.4% BF , and I set a goal of 220 or something when I joined. I dropped the 1st 25 lbs and then started lifting again. I'm at 225/226 - 19.4% BF right now. I couldn't care less if I lost another pound at this point. As long as I keep dropping BF%. I am here to get down to 8%BF, and then bulk back up to wherever I decide I am happy with @ 10%BF. I don't really know what that weight will be, and don't care.
  • redscylla
    redscylla Posts: 211 Member
    Short answer: because other people force me to be. Every year I have to have a health assessment for my job's insurance. Every year, they say, "You're in excellent health, but you need to lose weight." Well, *kitten* me. I am sooooo tired of this, because my blood sugar, my blood pressure, my cholesterol, EVERY ONE OF MY NUMBERS is in the very healthy range. Oh, except that I'm 40 lbs. over weight. I'm obsessed with the number, because next year, I want those b*tch nurses from the insurance company to STFU. I wanna walk in there, get on the scale, show off my perfect numbers and not have to take any *kitten* from them.

    So while yours may be all about a feeling, I just want some insurance nurse smackdown. And right or wrong, that's about the number on their scale.
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
    im not skipping the scale
    ive lost 25 pounds and no pants size so u cant tell by clothes
  • BrennLinn
    BrennLinn Posts: 178 Member
    Couldn't agree more! I stopped looking at the scale and started looking at how my clothes fit and how healthy I feel!
  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,687 Member
    Good post op, it sounds like you have figured out what works best for you. I am one of those people who gets hung up on numbers, but it hasn't been detrimental for me so far. I hope I keep what you said in mind, however, if I ever start loathing myself in the future.
  • Christinamarie77
    Christinamarie77 Posts: 50 Member
    There was a woman on here that posted she only lost 6 lbs since Feb, and then as an after thought mentioned she'd lost 13 total inches. I feel sad that that isn't viewed as a HUGE victory :(

    Inches are nice to lose...

    But the number on the scale is what my horse has to carry around when we go riding. To her... 40lbs or muscle... 40lbs of fat is still 40lbs. And while I am an excellent rider and she has no problem carrying me around... I still want to make her carry as little of me as possible. LOL

    Then your goal is to lose weight not build muscle, there is a very fine line in working out between the two things. more cardio, less weights and try cutting 100 calories out a day, see where that gets you and I can not stress enough WATER.
  • halflife1978
    halflife1978 Posts: 47 Member
    I'm hung up on it because

    1. I know that I am going to be losing water weight as well as fat so 1 pound a week is too slow and not ideal.

    2. Tomorrow morning when I wake up, I'll still be fat. Next week too. Also, next month. I want to recover from the most disgusting part of it as fast as possible. At 220 I'm so far gone that it doesn't matter even if I lose a pound or two. It doesn't matter. I'm still fat. If I can get down to 150 by any means necessary then I will look partially acceptable, will feel better about myself, and can be more calculated in losing the final thirty-one.
  • Christinamarie77
    Christinamarie77 Posts: 50 Member
    Good post op, it sounds like you have figured out what works best for you. I am one of those people who gets hung up on numbers, but it hasn't been detrimental for me so far. I hope I keep what you said in mind, however, if I ever start loathing myself in the future.

    I am one of those people that gets hung up on numbers, but now my numbers are in inches not lbs, yes I wanna drop approx. ten to fifteen lbs, but if I drop 9 instead and fit in my clothes that are 2 sizes too small then I still did it.

    I used to weigh myself every 3 to 4 days, all that does is discourage and set you up for failure. I do now once a week, same day and time AND measure myself. if you write down those numbers you will see a HUGE difference. I fight getting on the scale and hating that number BUT NSV are so much better for motivation and determination. Try it for 3 weeks. You will be a believer.
  • Roll_Tide_Meg
    Roll_Tide_Meg Posts: 255 Member
    I will take up for them somewhat...it's scary when you step on the scale and see a number that is higher than you have ever seen it and you tell yourself okay I need to make this number go down. I see what you are saying but for me a few months ago was that time and I was scared to death of that number...I was teetering on 199.6....NOT HAPPENING! Every day I focused on that number till I got down to about 194.5 and that was just last week...now I'm not as focused because I'm a little ways away from that 200 mark. Now I am worrying about inches and the way my clothes fit better but give some of em a break at least for the first few starting weeks. :)
  • Christinamarie77
    Christinamarie77 Posts: 50 Member
    I'm hung up on it because

    1. I know that I am going to be losing water weight as well as fat so 1 pound a week is too slow and not ideal.

    2. Tomorrow morning when I wake up, I'll still be fat. Next week too. Also, next month. I want to recover from the most disgusting part of it as fast as possible. At 220 I'm so far gone that it doesn't matter even if I lose a pound or two. It doesn't matter. I'm still fat. If I can get down to 150 by any means necessary then I will look partially acceptable, will feel better about myself, and can be more calculated in losing the final thirty-one.

    EVERY JOURNEY STARTS WITH A STEP. One pound is a step. Ideally the measuring helps at all times but yes being that heavy it is about the number on the scale for a while, but when you get there, closer to the end of the journey near you "goal weight" that's when the scale matters less and the inches matter more.

    You can do this, you are worth it, and if you fight for it you will feel so good.
    Try to stay motivated, and reach out when you are feeling like you wanna give up!!
  • redscylla
    redscylla Posts: 211 Member
    There was a woman on here that posted she only lost 6 lbs since Feb, and then as an after thought mentioned she'd lost 13 total inches. I feel sad that that isn't viewed as a HUGE victory :(

    Inches are nice to lose...

    But the number on the scale is what my horse has to carry around when we go riding. To her... 40lbs or muscle... 40lbs of fat is still 40lbs. And while I am an excellent rider and she has no problem carrying me around... I still want to make her carry as little of me as possible. LOL

    This, too. I don't want to be a frail flower, but I would like to be light enough that I'm easy to carry on a horse or a motorcycle or in a man's arms. Why does the scale matter? Because my husband had to fireman carry me over the threshold on our wedding night. It was the only way he could pick me up and it was a close thing.
  • Buff2022
    Buff2022 Posts: 373 Member
    In the beginning..the first month I was ALL about the number. Because that number motivated me to keep going. Now that I am in month 2. It is not about the number. I am enjoying feeling better, walking taller. I am now working to get into clothes that are a tad to small.

    I am about pushing myself to see what I can do. When I think what I have done in the last 35 days. I smile. Saying you can do it. Look at me and what I have done.
  • sunnyhlw77
    sunnyhlw77 Posts: 204 Member
    I don't watch the number anymore. I don't even really look at the inches. I try on clothes (which I guess is kinda the same thing but without the measuring tape). I know what I want, its to be smaller and healthier. I don't mind losing the weight slowly, I've come a long way already and I intend to keep going. There are a lot of challenges I would like to accomplish again, things I did when I was a kid, I want to go hiking at the lake in the summer, I want to walk to the park, I want to bicycle around, I want to walk at Disneyland without feeling winded or my feet hurting, I want the energy. And you know what, I'm getting there, its taking time but all great things come with time! I foolishly sat on my butt for the last 20 years but NO MORE! It's time to live and embrace live. Live a positive life and not be so negative. Life is what you make it afterall! :happy: