has your fitness goals hurt your relationship?

tndejong
tndejong Posts: 463
edited January 23 in Motivation and Support
i just need to vent a little...

my fiance is fitness obsessed. for 2-3 month now it keeps getting worse. he is at the gym for hours everyday. he is part of 2 softball teams. he bikes to work. he spends tons of money on fitness related items and expensive supplements and grocery items. i am glad he decided to "get healthy" with me. but its competition now. and i just cant keep up. he is running a 5k now. and now wont walk with me. he brags about all his accomplishments and acts like what im doing is nothing. its to the point now that im cooking my own meals. i work overtime, clean, yard work, etc. he lives at the gym and then eats and sleeps. i am proud of him, dont get me wrong. but its really hurting our relationship. and he just ignores me when i try to talk to him. he picks at everything i eat like he is some expert. he makes comments when i dont make it to the gym. i have lost 55 lbs since january 1st. i think im doing quite well!

can anyone relate? im getting so stressed out.

Replies

  • quiltlovinlisa
    quiltlovinlisa Posts: 1,710 Member
    You're doing fantastic. Keep going strong!
  • marygee1951
    marygee1951 Posts: 148 Member
    The onl change for me is every dinner causes bad feelings. I'm eating healthy and SO isn't the least bit interested - which is ok with me. He wants junk food and I'm willing to make whatever he wants - but he gets mad because I'm not eating the same food as he is.

    Your problem is rougher though! How are you both "goal-wise"? You ARE doing great - looks like you've got another 30 pounds to go - how about your fiance'? Do you think things will settle down when you're both at goal - or have you created a monster that will live forever??

    Whatever he does, don't let it interfere with your progress and success. Hopefull the two of you will be able to adjust over time.

    Good luck to you. :flowerforyou:
  • mygrl4meee
    mygrl4meee Posts: 943 Member
    Your doing great. You guys might have to agree to disagree about diet and weight loss. I can get very sensitive of my husband tries to give me diet advice but the most part that is a thing of the past.
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
    NOPE
  • julfarn
    julfarn Posts: 13 Member
    55 lbs?! That's amazing!!!

    If you're having a hard time with having a conversation with him, put it in writing. He might be more inclined to hear it.

    Just a suggestion!
  • binglebandit
    binglebandit Posts: 531 Member
    I think you should sit down and talk about your health goals, relationship goals, and life goals. Sounds like it's hard for you two to spend time together lately, ask for a date night. Maybe something non-fitness related, so there isn't a competitive vibe. It sounds to me that this isn't so much an issue of being right or wrong, but feeling like you aren't being respected and recognized for your hard work. Make sure you tell him that clearly so that he understands it isn't about right or wrong, but about acknowledgment.

    After I started losing weight, my husband jumped on board, and then back off again. It was a bit of a sore point for a while, because I think my getting healthier made him feel guilty, and now he feels guilty again. Otherwise we tend to do our own thing regardless of the other person. If he meets his goal, I'm proud of him. If I meet mine, he's proud of me. We share a sheet on the fridge that compares our weight loss to items, like 14lbs = bowling ball, etc. That's the only real time we compare notes. I'll show him how far I got, and he'll show his. I'd recommend that, but that may not be a good idea if he is being so competitive.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • dimsumkitty
    dimsumkitty Posts: 120 Member
    Nope, it's definitely improved mine! My OH is much faster and stronger than me and plays a lot more sport, but we're always really happy for each other's accomplishments, and it makes us respect each other more.
  • Dr_Waffles
    Dr_Waffles Posts: 141 Member
    It's best to get your differences out in the open now. Be honest and blunt with him and don't be afraid to hurt his feelings. Let him know that he is important to you and you should be the same to him. If you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, good communication is the key.
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