Abs 'indicate that you are a moron'

darrensurrey
darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
in Fitness and Exercise
TONED abdominal muscles let morons recognise each other, it has emerged.

Researchers had previously assumed that stomach muscles served no purpose whatsoever.

Abs-ologist Dr Tom Booker said: “We could never figure out why humans even had all these muscles in their stomachs.

“Legs muscles help you walk, arm muscles let you lift things, but ‘abs’ seemed to do absolutely nothing, in an evolutionary sense.”

After extensive study of celebrity websites, provincial nightclubs and Peter Andre concert footage, Booker reached a radical conclusion.

“We found that morons held ‘abs’ in incredibly high esteem.

“Rather than ‘six-packs’ simply being a media obsession, it appears that people of limited intelligence are genetically predisposed to like parallel rows of stomach muscle.

“So they look for abs when selecting a breeding partner.

“To support this argument, look at the cast of The Only Way Is Essex. By comparison, I would be very surprised if chess wizard Gary Kasparov even knew what the phrase ‘getting ripped’ meant.”

Source: http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/abs-indicate-that-you-are-a-moron-2013022060452

;)

Replies

  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    lolzzzz
  • ms_leanne
    ms_leanne Posts: 523 Member
    Hahaha love it!
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
    This is very true.

    Certainly we all have ab's under varying levels of fat and everyone i've met in my life has shown this capability shown in the article! :o))
  • chels0722
    chels0722 Posts: 465 Member
    I am intrigued by the thought of becoming an Abs-ologist............

    By what means can I obtain this title???
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    “To support this argument, look at the cast of The Only Way Is Essex. By comparison, I would be very surprised if chess wizard Gary Kasparov even knew what the phrase ‘getting ripped’ meant.”

    Loooool
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    This is very true.

    Certainly we all have ab's under varying levels of fat and everyone i've met in my life has shown this capability shown in the article! :o))

    If you know of any single ladies with abs, send them my way!

    Honk! Honk! (That's my abs mating call.)

    PS congrats to Yo - saw the other thread but it was too late to post as my reply would have disappeared in a wave of replies. :o)
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
    Thanks Darren - we are over the moon! :o))
  • Givemewings
    Givemewings Posts: 864 Member
    Lol....so funny.
  • chrisdavey
    chrisdavey Posts: 9,834 Member
    slow news day in the UK? :laugh:
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    slow news day in the UK? :laugh:

    No but it distracts us from the big news of the day: http://news.sky.com/story/1090255/tia-sharp-murder-stuart-hazell-pleads-guilty
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    I am intrigued by the thought of becoming an Abs-ologist............

    By what means can I obtain this title???

    Just stare at abs all day. Then you're an amateur abs-ologist.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    It's also true that very often under an Ed Hardy shirt are abs. The more rhinestones, the more well-defined the abs will be under said shirt.
  • HannahJDiaz25
    HannahJDiaz25 Posts: 329 Member
    I am intrigued by the thought of becoming an Abs-ologist............

    By what means can I obtain this title???

    Just stare at abs all day. Then you're an amateur abs-ologist.


    :laugh: :laugh: I apparently qualify...I want my certificate NOW!
  • FitMrsR
    FitMrsR Posts: 226 Member
    Ahhhhh, so that's why I can't get my abs to show! Hahaha :laugh:
  • WhaddoWino
    WhaddoWino Posts: 146 Member
    Does this abs-olve me from doing those Russian Twists tomorrow?
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    Does this abs-olve me from doing those Russian Twists tomorrow?

    Abs-olutely.
  • booker2shoes
    booker2shoes Posts: 50 Member
    It's also true that very often under an Ed Hardy shirt are abs. The more rhinestones, the more well-defined the abs will be under said shirt.



    ROFL!!!!
  • phjorg1
    phjorg1 Posts: 642 Member
    I laughed just as hard at my version. I mean, it's just as arbitrary a thing to make fun of as muscle, right?

    Morbid obesity let morons recognise each other, it has emerged.

    Researchers had previously assumed that stomach fat served no purpose whatsoever.

    Fat-ologist Dr Tom Booker said: “We could never figure out why humans even had all this fat in their stomachs.

    “Legs muscles help you walk, arm muscles let you lift things, but ‘fat’ seemed to do absolutely nothing, in an evolutionary sense.”

    After extensive study of celebrity cooking shows, local doughnut shops, and Mcdonalds security footage, Booker reached a radical conclusion.

    “We found that morons held ‘fat’ in incredibly high esteem.

    “Rather than ‘gunts’ simply being a media obsession, it appears that people of limited intelligence are genetically predisposed to like rows of belt hanging stomach fat.

    “So they look for fat when selecting a breeding partner.

    “To support this argument, look at the cast of The Drew Cary Show. By comparison, I would be very surprised if guns wizard Arnold Schwarzenegger even knew what the phrase ‘getting sloth’ meant.”
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    It's also true that very often under an Ed Hardy shirt are abs. The more rhinestones, the more well-defined the abs will be under said shirt.

    Is this a causation or a correlation? Because I'll go buy me a bedazzaled Ed Hardy shirt if it'll make the abs come quicker.
  • The_Enginerd
    The_Enginerd Posts: 3,982 Member
    It's also true that very often under an Ed Hardy shirt are abs. The more rhinestones, the more well-defined the abs will be under said shirt.

    Is this a causation or a correlation? Because I'll go buy me a bedazzaled Ed Hardy shirt if it'll make the abs come quicker.
    I would do anything for abs, but I won't do that...
    meatloaf.jpg
  • cosmic8o8
    cosmic8o8 Posts: 131 Member
    It's also true that very often under an Ed Hardy shirt are abs. The more rhinestones, the more well-defined the abs will be under said shirt.

    Is this a causation or a correlation? Because I'll go buy me a bedazzaled Ed Hardy shirt if it'll make the abs come quicker.
    I would do anything for abs, but I won't do that...
    meatloaf.jpg

    ^Funniest thing I've seen so far today!
  • darrensurrey
    darrensurrey Posts: 3,942 Member
    :laugh:

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