I want to be hotter than my best friend...is that bad?

abrandnewme18
abrandnewme18 Posts: 305
in Motivation and Support
I feel bad about it, but I am really jealous of my best friend. She's has long, straight shiny red hair, a nice tan, perfect skin, and gorgeous facial features, and a perfectly toned hourglass figure. And guess what?! She eats whatever the heck she wants and doesn't exercise much at all. She was a cheerleader in high school, but we graduated last year and now she barely exercises. We go to the same CC and actually have two classes together so we still hang out a lot.

Whenever I go out with her I feel like the DUFF (designated ugly fat friend). And although I don't consider myself fat or ugly, compared to her gorgeousness and perfect body, I can't help feeling that way.

I want to lose weight and tone up for a million reasons, but I always go the extra mile on my workouts when I think about being hotter than my best friend. Do you think it's a bad thing that I want to be hotter than my best friend? I honestly feel embarrassed for admitting this, I feel like a jerk. She is a really good friend and it's not her fault she's gorgeous and I'm jealous of her. Am I being a bad friend?

Replies

  • TaraM430
    TaraM430 Posts: 26 Member
    I think it's natural to be envious of other people. If you want to use her as your motivation, go for it, just be careful. Getting in shape only really works if you do it for YOURSELF and to live a healthier lifestyle. I don't think you are being a bad friend, it's not like you are telling her, "Watch out, I WILL BE hotter than you!" :)
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
    yes u need to do it for u
    not to be in competition with someone
  • ApocalypticFae
    ApocalypticFae Posts: 217 Member
    I think a little healthy competition is fun. You're not being a bad friend. If you said that this was your only reason for getting in shape, that would definitely be crazy! But I can see where you're coming from and I think that you can use these thoughts as "fuel" for your workouts and motivation to eat clean.
  • Elisirmon
    Elisirmon Posts: 273 Member
    Her being your motivation is fine just don't let it become jealousy or be envious...
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
    Motivation is good, but also cherish your friendship.
  • aimforhealthy
    aimforhealthy Posts: 449 Member
    Envy is a very ugly quality.

    If she were fat and heinous, it wouldn't affect you any more than the way she looks now. It's not about her, it's about you.

    My best friend is beautiful and thin like yours, and she's one of my biggest supporters. We get genuinely happy at each other's successes and it's one of the things I cherish most about our friendship.
  • kimbtaylor1
    kimbtaylor1 Posts: 210 Member
    I feel bad about it, but I am really jealous of my best friend. She's has long, straight shiny red hair, a nice tan, perfect skin, and gorgeous facial features, and a perfectly toned hourglass figure. And guess what?! She eats whatever the heck she wants and doesn't exercise much at all. She was a cheerleader in high school, but we graduated last year and now she barely exercises. We go to the same CC and actually have two classes together so we still hang out a lot.

    Whenever I go out with her I feel like the DUFF (designated ugly fat friend). And although I don't consider myself fat or ugly, compared to her gorgeousness and perfect body, I can't help feeling that way.

    I want to lose weight and tone up for a million reasons, but I always go the extra mile on my workouts when I think about being hotter than my best friend. Do you think it's a bad thing that I want to be hotter than my best friend? I honestly feel embarrassed for admitting this, I feel like a jerk. She is a really good friend and it's not her fault she's gorgeous and I'm jealous of her. Am I being a bad friend?


    I'm glad that you wrote this. My BFF and I have known each other since 6th grade. She has always been the smaller/prettier of the two of us. Fast forward to our 10 year high school reunion and her and I are standing next to one another and an old class mate makes a comment that she still looks the same from high school and I have matured. :( I always hated being the DUF, but I love her. However now five years after the reunion that class mate wouldn't recognize me anymore and my BFF has gained a good bit of weight. And honestly, it gives me a sick little joy in my heart knowing that I am smaller than her.

    So if you think you are being a bad friend for wanting to be hotter than your friend then I am an awful friend for getting joy out it.
  • Buff2022
    Buff2022 Posts: 373 Member
    There are two bit-hes that keep me going at the gym. Cause I keep saying they don't have **** on me. I don't feel bad at all. Cause I know what their motives are. And it is not going to happen. But anyways...you can use that as your motivation. As long as your are not mean to your friend. Remember a good friend is a treasure.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    You're not hurting her by wanting to be hotter than she is.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Use her as inspiration and motivation, but try not to feel like you're seriously in competition for her. And yeah, it's pretty understandable if you feel like you're the ugly friend (which you are not, btw.). Everyone wants to be the hot one.
  • MissSusieQ
    MissSusieQ Posts: 533 Member
    it's ok, and natural to want to look as good (or better) than someone whose looks you admire.

    it's not ok to make her feel bad/ugly/less in order to achieve your goal.
  • Peanutbutterx
    Peanutbutterx Posts: 332
    i've had friends that were cuter than me before too and used to think like that. but the older i get the more i realize theres always going to be people more attractive than you and people less attractive than you. but theres no one like you! everyones different and has special things about them in their own ways. God made you the way you are for a reason. Most of the time you feel like you want to be cuter than her because of guys, but just know that the right guy that you would want to be with would love you for you, who you are, and that is what would make you beautiful to him that no other girl could compare to. if shes a good friend and has been loyal to you and makes you laugh, then forget what she looks like it doesnt matter. just be her friend and know that everyone has different things that make them special, there not all physical. and there might be things about you that she wishes she had too, when it comes down to it, it's really not important. just be yourself, be healthy and in shape because you want to, forget about what other people look like and enjoy life : )
  • jessicae1aine
    jessicae1aine Posts: 885
    I totally understand this.

    I will never be hotter than my best friend (who, for the record, is a tall, well-built man), but I definitely can work on being hotter than the girls I'm around. Something to compare myself to is fun, and I'm never telling THEM I'm competing against them in my head.
  • jane_j
    jane_j Posts: 8
    It's fine, but just don't tell her!!!

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