Marriage trouble because of weight loss?

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tiffanypettyjohn
tiffanypettyjohn Posts: 61
in Motivation and Support
Just wondering if your marriages have gotten better or worse since losing weight? I'm interested in knowing if any separations/divorces have occurred and if you think it has had anything to do with weight loss. Do you feel like you have changed as a person? Just curious! Thanks!

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  • lolablitz
    lolablitz Posts: 38 Member
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    For me it's benefited my marriage because I'm more confident between the sheets, which leads to more mojo, which leads to more you-know-what ;)
  • boberrymom
    boberrymom Posts: 362 Member
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    Generally if there are problems with marriage after weight loss it usually isn't because of the weight loss, the problems were already there.
    Some men and some women think that their spouse wants to get healthy because they are trying to attract someone new, meanwhile the person most likely just truly wants to be healthy for themselves and their partner. Those people who feel that way usually have low self esteem themselves but take it out on the other person.
  • jenstanley13
    jenstanley13 Posts: 194 Member
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    For me it has been a good thing for my marriage but I also have a very supportive husband that is willing to eat healthy (for the most part) so that I can and helps chip in around the house so I have my time to workout and do what I need to do for me. I know not everyone has that support and that would definitely cause stress, for me at least.
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
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    For me it's benefited my marriage because I'm more confident between the sheets, which leads to more mojo, which leads to more you-know-what ;)


    LOL! Yup. :tongue:

    My hubby was frustrated with me because all I did for a while when I started was talk about food, exercise, and weight...I am an obsessive-type, obviously. But, once I got safely into a routine that worked, I stopped obsessing and he relaxed - he was always concerned because he loves me no matter what I weigh and couldn't figure out why it was so important to me. If you have a good relationship, weight loss should not matter.
  • EmilyEmpowered
    EmilyEmpowered Posts: 650 Member
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    We have been seperated two times (not married, but we have been in a relationship for 6 years) since my weight loss. It is very hard on him because the little bit of confidence I have gained makes him insecure. And it is hard on me because I havent gained as much confidence as I thought I would, so I still feel insecure and uncomfortable around him, even after all these years!! Actually, we were supposed to get married two years ago and didnt because of these issues. Also, I will be honest, getting more attention from other men makes things difficult, my boyfriend has never been lovey-dvoey, he doesnt like holding hands or showing affection. I miss that alot from my past relationships, and it is something I feel I need in order to feel happy with my relationship. Also, he now says he can't compliment me becuase he doesnt want me to get a big head :noway:

    We have actually been considering counseling to help with all this, it has been extremely emotional at times and really good at other times. But we have two little girls, and we love each other, so its worth the fight :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • EmilyEmpowered
    EmilyEmpowered Posts: 650 Member
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    Generally if there are problems with marriage after weight loss it usually isn't because of the weight loss, the problems were already there.
    Some men and some women think that their spouse wants to get healthy because they are trying to attract someone new, meanwhile the person most likely just truly wants to be healthy for themselves and their partner. Those people who feel that way usually have low self esteem themselves but take it out on the other person.

    Yep, sums it up for the most part!! He liked me when i had lower self esteem, because HE has low self esteem...
  • kavanaghev
    kavanaghev Posts: 75 Member
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    My marriage has improved because my husband has been awesome and our sex life is better and I feel more valuable (which is odd, but true) so I am much more honest about my feelings and we tend to clear the air more quickly. My husband has always told me he loves my body however it is if I am happy with it and able to do the things I want to do. After 8 years together (all of them overweight for me and Adonis like fitness for him as a Marine, Olympic lifter and ultra marathoner) and a baby, I decided my body was holding me back and i wasn't being a good example for my daughter and so I decided to do something about it. He answered questions when I asked and congratulated me when I met goals, told me he was proud, but was largely uninvolved and never shamed me or reminded me to work out or side-eyed my food choices. He was what I needed, and I think we are better because of it.

    I also did the embarrassing getting started part while he was deployed, so he came home to a 40lb lighter wife, which was such a fun motivator for me and a surprise for him (he actually didn't recognize me!)
  • lolablitz
    lolablitz Posts: 38 Member
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    We have been seperated two times (not married, but we have been in a relationship for 6 years) since my weight loss. It is very hard on him because the little bit of confidence I have gained makes him insecure. And it is hard on me because I havent gained as much confidence as I thought I would, so I still feel insecure and uncomfortable around him, even after all these years!! Actually, we were supposed to get married two years ago and didnt because of these issues. Also, I will be honest, getting more attention from other men makes things difficult, my boyfriend has never been lovey-dvoey, he doesnt like holding hands or showing affection. I miss that alot from my past relationships, and it is something I feel I need in order to feel happy with my relationship. Also, he now says he can't compliment me becuase he doesnt want me to get a big head :noway:

    We have actually been considering counseling to help with all this, it has been extremely emotional at times and really good at other times. But we have two little girls, and we love each other, so its worth the fight :heart: :heart: :heart:

    OMG you are Drop Dead Gorgeous (I totally stalked your page). If you didn't have kids together, I would beg you to leave him because he sounds manipulative and controlling and I've been with that kind and it's strangling. But you have two girls, so please get thee to counseling - for Him not really for you. Except to be reminded of how gorgeous you are.
  • thecakelocker
    thecakelocker Posts: 407 Member
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    I'm equally happy, we just spend more time outdoors or exercising together and less time playing video games. :smile:
  • FindingMyself24
    FindingMyself24 Posts: 613 Member
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    My marriage has gotten better....i have more energy and a little more confidence than i had before....which means...(you know) more...he's lost weight and is the same way....he's always loved my body and always though i was attractive.....he supports me not matter what...he just wants me to be happy...
  • librarianjenne
    librarianjenne Posts: 66 Member
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    For me it's benefited my marriage because I'm more confident between the sheets, which leads to more mojo, which leads to more you-know-what ;)


    LOL! Yup. :tongue:

    My hubby was frustrated with me because all I did for a while when I started was talk about food, exercise, and weight...I am an obsessive-type, obviously. But, once I got safely into a routine that worked, I stopped obsessing and he relaxed - he was always concerned because he loves me no matter what I weigh and couldn't figure out why it was so important to me. If you have a good relationship, weight loss should not matter.

    This has been the only friction we have had, too. My husband doesn't care what I weigh as long as I'm healthy. He did really enjoy my added curves when I was at my heaviest, but he also likes that I feel more energetic now. He got annoyed when I talked about it all the time (same with gardening, though,) but once I found online support, that problem disappeared.

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