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SAR1L · May 2013

(deleted entire rant and started over... )

So I was 285 a long time ago, I progressed all the way to 213. slipped and now I am 235 ( ate 3 months of **** food to cope with my unhappiness) , still trying to get to 200.

I am frustrated with myself cause I was within 13lbs of my goal. Not a big thing really.

What is really so hard though. Is to be motivated when you cannot find other people who are passionate about the same things you are passionate about. I feel a lot of society is complacent with the sit on my *kitten*, easy button life style. They would rather someone else solve their issues than deal with them themselves. We live in a society which lacks self accountability and has a huge complex of self entitlement.

When you aren't that way then you are a reminder to the majority of people who are, and no one *self censored explicative* wants you around. Relationships are built around common interest, life styles and etc...

I am struggling with the motivation to keep going in the direction I am passionate about, cause no matter how far progress, my family doesn't understand it, and people I have in regards to work don't have any interest in discussing it.

I don't have friends, I don't even belong... and that wouldn't be such a problem, but at the end of the day I still need someone in my life, and I don't want to work so hard all the time, and have no one to ever share it with.

I try and I try... I have even lived over 17 different places in the past 8 years trying to find like minded people. But yeah I don't know what to do, and doing everything alone in my life makes it extremely difficult to stay motivated and keep going.

The only thing keeping me going is that I tell myself "I have to keep going, I have to keep pushing..." But I don't even know why anymore. That if I can just keep going someone will eventually find me, appreciate me, value me, or want me in their life.

I am not angry, I don't feel I am entitle to it, I know it is my fault, I just don't know what I am failing at that I don't have just one person.

MaggieSporleder · May 2013

You may have backslid, but still you are closer to your goal than when you started. Don't let the weight gain, pull you further off track. Just jump back on and keep it going.
Is there any place where you are from that you could join a support group, or even just find someone likeminded at the gym, or a health food store? I know it's hard when you seem like your alone, I have been there. I'm gluten intolerant, and it took me two years to even convince anyone in my family that it is a real thing. Now being on here I've met dozens of people with the same problem.
It's hard, but try to stay positive, keep yourself going, and think of the end result.

jamfan · May 2013

First of all congrats on the weight loss. Second, don't be putt off by all the lazy Azz entitled people you see. This is America & one of the few places where obesity & alcoholism are called diseases rather than problems.

You changed your ways for the better to be healthy & lose weight. The people around you didn't. Which means that you can't be angry about them not doing *kitten* if they've never done *kitten*. You also cant expect to discuss all kinds of fitness goals & progress w/ these folks & expect them to share your passion.

How do I know....I've lived it, & continue to live it. Don't get me wrong, I love my wife but she & her entire family, who we live near, have no desire to be fit. She hates doing any activity that makes her sweat which becomes less & less as the years go by & pounds add on. I used to be the same way but changed my mind & got off my *kitten*. I used to be frustrated that she didn't share in my passion & felt that if I lead by example she would follow. No luck. The realization I had was that I needed to do it for myself & that I changed my thought process but it is unfair to expect her to change just because I did. At the end of the day you have got to do it for you.

All that said if the people in your life cant share in your goals find some other constructive outlet. I take part in a blog I found through the mens health website that focuses on goal setting for a 52 day period. It keeps me on track is not overly time consuming & is an outlet to discuss things that others don't share as an interest. I'm not trying to sell you a bag of crap just saying this site & may others can be constructive outlets for your fitness goals.

Fitness & health are largely a personal thing, Nobody else gets the reward from your hard work nor do you benefit from theirs. When you're on track & feeling good it's its own reward. Get to work on that 200lb goal, find an outlet if you need to, but at the end of the day you gotta do it for you.

rsjohnb · May 2013

Buddy that's a pretty deep post, firstly you need to chill. getting yourself worked up like that isn't healthy.

you've already made the conscious decision to fight the flab and your winning that battle in the long run even though your not there yet

As for the not belonging and stuff I feel for you, its really hard sometimes especially as we get older to try and establish yourself in a new network of friends. I don't know you but my advise for what its worth is write down your interests and then pursue them through whatever media you can if you can drop 50lbs you've obviously got a talent for sticking with things.

I've sent a friend request.At the end of the day you do belong to this site and i'd be happy to keep and touch and help you reach your goal. I log on most days and try to be as supportive to my friends as I can.

keep fighting buddy you'll get there!

luvinna · May 2013

I understand everything you said about being alone. It's hard to care about yourself when you feel like no one else cares about you. I moved to Colorado 13 years ago and still feel like I have no friends here. Sure, there are people I associate with more often than others, but I generally don't consider them friends; more like acquaintances. And my nearest family is 500 miles away.

I wish I had some words of wisdom for you on the subject, but I'm still trying to figure it out myself. I try to tell myself that there's someone out there for me, but I'm not entirely sure I believe it anymore. I guess all we can do is keep pushing along, as you said, and try to keep our chins up along the way. :flowerforyou:

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