I'm at a loss?

goldenvulture
goldenvulture Posts: 22
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm seriously to the point of crying everyday because of how bad I've gotten, and I'm actually really depressed about this. I can't seem to lose weight, and I've been trying for the longest time. I'm 5'6, 181 pounds, 18 years old. I've tried fad diets (which I know are bad), eating 1200 and exercising, eating back my calories, not eating them.

I feel like I can't be happy unless I'm 130 or under. And I don't know how to do this. How do I calculate what to eat? What do I eat? When do I know enough calories is enough. There is so much about starvation mode, tdee, bmr, it makes my brain go fuzzy so I just end up not eating and feeling like crap. I feel even worse that I'm going to start college in September, borderline obese, feeling horrible! I need anyone to help me please.

Replies

  • majope
    majope Posts: 1,325 Member
    If you think you're clinically depressed, please get help for that--I would make it a priority over weight loss until you get that sorted out.

    If it's more that you're frustrated over lack of weight loss, take some time to figure out the best way for you to lose weight, then stick with it long enough to let it work for you. Go here to figure out your numbers, and once you have them, come back and ask for advice if you want to make sure you did it right: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974889-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet

    Your huge advantage is that you're young, and if you get this figured out now, you can avoid the decades of yo-yo dieting that many of us older folk subjected ourselves to. When I was your age, the only way I knew to lose weight was to cut calories way, way back (600-1200 a day) and hang on through sheer willpower until the weight was off. At which time, I would resume eating like before, having learned nothing along the way except how to deprive myself, and invariably put the weight back on. Which I was reluctant to try to take off again, because losing weight was so painful.

    It wasn't until my 40s that I learned that smaller goals give greater results. Instead of eating almost nothing to get lots of weight off in a short amount of time, I learned how to eat at a small deficit to lose half a pound to a pound a week. I learned to count calories and eat back my exercise calories. I learned to keep active so I felt better and could eat more. I learned that if I didn't deprive myself of things I love, I wouldn't overeat them if my willpower broke and I had them anyway.

    Most of all, I learned patience. Weight loss isn't exactly linear, there will be ups and downs. I came to trust that as long as I'm eating at a deficit, I will lose weight. It just might not show instantly.

    Best of luck with your goals.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    Relax - you got this. There's enough to stress about starting college that you don't need to obsess about the scale. So you already know what doesn't work - the fad diets, eating too little, etc.... You need that brain for college - don't starve it!

    You can either let MFP calculate your calories - but then you should be eating back your exercise calories or go to Fat2Fitradio.com and figure out your cals there.

    Try to limit fast foods and processed foods. Eat lots of vegetables, some fruit, whole grains - the foods you find in the outer perimeter of the grocery store. Although honestly as long as you're meeting your calorie goals you'll probably do fine.

    Move your booty. Strength train w/some cardio.

    Really though - don't let your weight determine your happiness. I know easier said than done, but when you love yourself and treat yourself right it will be easier to lose the weight. Starving yourself and trying crazy fad diets isn't treating your body right. :flowerforyou:
  • tptouchdown
    tptouchdown Posts: 30 Member
    Work on the depression first. Eating is one way we cope with depression, but your body also reacts to depression. It is much easier to lose weight when you are happy. At your age don't look for any short cut to lose weight. Look at it more as a way to set a pattern that will remain with you during your life. I know that your appearance and the way you feel about yourself is very important, but if you believe you should weigh 130 lbs set your goal to lose it in a year that's about 2lbs per week. Combine a sensible diet with a reasonable exercise program. For long term weight loss there is no short cut. But work on your mental approach first.
  • michelle7673
    michelle7673 Posts: 370 Member
    I think the best thing you can do is find something active/athletic that you love. And do it. It will help you in many ways, including the reduction of stress and depression. If you think you are clinically depressed (as opposed to just bummed out that you aren't losing weight), definitely see someone. I think that kind of help is a great gift that most people could probably use in various ways.
    There's a lot of help on this site for the way to put together a calorie/macro plan, and ways to support good nutrition. I agree that you should settle on something sustainable. I have been losing a pound and a half a week and I'm not starving by any stretch. And if you're just starting out, you would lose much quicker at first.
    In four months you could very conceivably lose 25 pounds of fat -- at your age maybe even more -- especially if you do some strength work and eat enough protein. I know that you're focused on hitting 130, but honestly, in shape you would look great at 150-155, just as a starting point for college. And between then and spring break you'll be the one losing 25 more pounds, not gaining the Freshman 25.
    The good news is that you're starting NOW, not Labor Day!
    There's lots of help here -- my advice is to settle on a good plan and stick with it, and not chase fads or cut calories too low.
    You can do this! Good luck!!! Feel free to send me a friend request and/or message me with any questions :)

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