Getting married & no motivation

azeria
azeria Posts: 527 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm getting married in July this year (51 days). I have no motivation to eat healthy and be more active. I don't know why. I don't know what is wrong with me.

The last few years have been extremely stressful. I've survived them, but I had more motivation a year ago, then I do now. It's kind of like if my body is giving out on me. I am still stressed with the wedding, but the rest of my life is more or less falling into place.

I don't know. I guess, I'm looking to see if there are other future brides out there that might be going some of the things I'm going through.

Replies

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    if your dress fits at the moment, why not just maintain for now, and decide what you want to do after the wedding?
  • timberowl
    timberowl Posts: 331 Member
    Do it for the pictures you'll show your children and grandchildren some day!!!!!
  • teenytinybikini
    teenytinybikini Posts: 49 Member
    I think you might need to start really appreciating yourself and how wonderful you are right now, the motivation will come after. Good luck and congratulations.x
  • lamorael
    lamorael Posts: 12 Member
    I may not be planning my wedding yet, but I have plenty of other stressers I am dealing with right now. The only advise I can give you, and what works for me, is: whenever you feel yourself unmotivated, or giving up, think of one reason why you are even trying to loose wieght or get in shape. Then just keeping thinking that same thing over and over. For me, the biggest reason I want to loose weight is so I can stay in the military. I just think of that one reason over and over and not only does it get me motivated, but gives me focus. The short term pain is worth the long term gain.
  • hammomh
    hammomh Posts: 43 Member
    Go and have a break from Wedding Planning and any other stress in your life. If you can't do a couple days maybe just a couple hours?

    Go and do something you enjoy which makes you feel good. Go for a facial? Massage? Something which is a treat just for yourself that can take your stresses away.
  • yksdoris
    yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
    if your dress fits at the moment, why not just maintain for now, and decide what you want to do after the wedding?

    This. Just focus on your happy day; don't let worries about your weight or eating overshadow any of that (just, you know, try not to gain, heh). You've already lost 37 lb, that's great!
  • azeria
    azeria Posts: 527 Member
    Yes, the dress does fit of course. It was ordered to fit me.

    What I want is to be healthy or feel healthy. I keep having such unhealthy cravings that I can't seem to control. I bought wii dance a while back to have fun and keep active. It worked for a while then I got stressed and stoped all together. I am so anxious about the fact that everyone will be looking at me and judging me.

    At this rate, I know I won't be skinny mini. I don't foresee myself ever being. However, I want to be healthy. My hair/ scalp doesn't feel healthy. I've been having sinus problems which I've never had before. I get these pouffy eyes and rash on my eye lids too. Allergies I guess. I have gone to the doctor and am being looked after medically, but I don't know how to care for myself right now.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Yes, the dress does fit of course. It was ordered to fit me.

    theres no 'of course' about it! millions of women buy dresses that are sizes too small and then try to slim into them!
  • azeria
    azeria Posts: 527 Member
    I never looked at it that way. I guess that's one thing right I did. And well, I do find that the dress does look good on me. I'm just worried about everyone looking at me...
  • EmmaKarney
    EmmaKarney Posts: 690 Member
    I got married last summer which I thought would be the ultimate motivation to get in shape - I didn't. In fact, not only did I put ON weight between buying my dress and picking it up - I then piled on even more in the 6 months after the wedding.

    I don't know why I couldn't summon up the motivation for the wedding - plain old self-sabotage I think.

    Don't beat yourself up over that one day - do it for the rest of your life instead.
  • azeria
    azeria Posts: 527 Member
    I got married last summer which I thought would be the ultimate motivation to get in shape - I didn't. In fact, not only did I put ON weight between buying my dress and picking it up - I then piled on even more in the 6 months after the wedding.

    I don't know why I couldn't summon up the motivation for the wedding - plain old self-sabotage I think.

    Don't beat yourself up over that one day - do it for the rest of your life instead.

    I like that concept of doing it for myself instead. Although these will be the pictures that I will look at for the rest of my days...
  • taliar93
    taliar93 Posts: 111 Member
    Since you're so unmotivated right now, I'll tell you how my wedding went, I didn't have motivation to lose weight or try to be remotely healthier, I had a 6 month window of opportunity to do something about it, but I didn't, so now, 10 months and 1 day later I'm embarrassed as hell looking at my wedding pics now, all I can see is how unhealthy I looked, and shame that those are the pics I have to show my children/grandchildren one day, I kept my wedding dress, so I can show it to my kids, and when that day comes, and I pull the dress out, the first thing that will go through their mind is "wow mummy you were massive" The best moment I've had to do with my wedding and my self image, I put on my dress a month ago to see how it looked, and i could swim in it basically.

    Pics for reference :

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/952413-what-40lbs-looks-like-in-a-wedding-dress-pics
  • whycantregister
    whycantregister Posts: 22 Member
    I'm getting married in July this year (51 days). I have no motivation to eat healthy and be more active. I don't know why. I don't know what is wrong with me.

    The last few years have been extremely stressful. I've survived them, but I had more motivation a year ago, then I do now. It's kind of like if my body is giving out on me. I am still stressed with the wedding, but the rest of my life is more or less falling into place.

    I don't know. I guess, I'm looking to see if there are other future brides out there that might be going some of the things I'm going through.

    I love hearing couples getting married - congratulations and may everything will be just GREAT! :flowerforyou: Probably, it is your mental health that has been unwell due to all those stresses (which of course, could eventually affect your physical health too). When we are depressed, it's obviously a bit hard to find motivation.

    Why don't go to a spa and have a super relaxing day? Get pampered and massaged.

    Or just take a walk at the park, and sit there, breathe the fresh air, or go anywhere that's a bit further than your daily environment (to take your mind out off the stresses)?

    Watch movies/spiritual/ motivational videos, hang out with friends.

    For me, I always feel stressed when I am at the university, when I got home, unconsciously, I brought all those stresses back into my house. So, when I realised this, I will get out from my house and go anywhere; have my coffee or spend my time alone there for awhile - I feel much better. When my mental health feels much better, it's only after that my body could follow as well.

    Hope you'll feel much better soon ! :heart:
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    I didn't read the other replies but I honestly can't understand your lack of motivation. When I was getting married I didn't have a weight issue but I still wanted to be as close to looking like a princess as possible. You don't want to look amazing? You only get one chance. Do it. I did it.. I was as perfect as I could be and I am glad I put in the effort for the things I wanted to change and did. Now I have those photos forever and I'm not embarrassed about anything.
  • SophieMiriam
    SophieMiriam Posts: 5
    You will be a bride--you will look beautiful whatever you weigh! I have never seen a bride who didn't look beautiful, and that includes the person who posted a picture of herself on her wedding day up the thread. Don't stress about it. :)
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    to me, it sounds like all your issues are stress related.
    comfort eating, feeling run down, etc.
    you need to either offload or cut back.
    this wedding isn't worth your sanity and your health.
    it's the marriage that counts.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    dp
  • missdaisy79
    missdaisy79 Posts: 566 Member
    Yes, the dress does fit of course. It was ordered to fit me.

    theres no 'of course' about it! millions of women buy dresses that are sizes too small and then try to slim into them!

    I totally did this - took "shapewear", my mother and a bridesmaid to zip me into my dress. The dress fits me far better today than it did a year and a half ago when I got married.

    OP - as everyone else is saying, take some time to try and de-stress yourself. Mental health is so important x
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    What I want is to be healthy or feel healthy. I keep having such unhealthy cravings that I can't seem to control. [...] My hair/ scalp doesn't feel healthy. I've been having sinus problems which I've never had before. I get these pouffy eyes and rash on my eye lids too.

    This is abnormal and tells me that something may be wrong. It's good that you're seeing a doctor to check into it.
    Do you mind sharing what your target intake is and your height, weight, and age?
  • pyrowill
    pyrowill Posts: 1,163 Member
    What I want is to be healthy or feel healthy. I keep having such unhealthy cravings that I can't seem to control. I bought wii dance a while back to have fun and keep active. It worked for a while then I got stressed and stoped all together. I am so anxious about the fact that everyone will be looking at me and judging me.

    This is abnormal and tells me that something may be wrong. Do you mind sharing what your target intake is and your height, weight, and age?

    What is abnormal about a bride to me being anxious about being stared at/judged? I imagine a lot of brides feel like that.
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    I'd hate to be going through all of this stress again. You could elope. Much less stress.
  • Xiaolongbao
    Xiaolongbao Posts: 854 Member
    Since you're so unmotivated right now, I'll tell you how my wedding went, I didn't have motivation to lose weight or try to be remotely healthier, I had a 6 month window of opportunity to do something about it, but I didn't, so now, 10 months and 1 day later I'm embarrassed as hell looking at my wedding pics now, all I can see is how unhealthy I looked, and shame that those are the pics I have to show my children/grandchildren one day, I kept my wedding dress, so I can show it to my kids, and when that day comes, and I pull the dress out, the first thing that will go through their mind is "wow mummy you were massive"

    You looked lovely and honestly kids will not think things like "wow mummy you were massive" they'll think "wow mummy you looked like a princess" kids are far less judgemental about adults than other adults are.
  • EmmaKarney
    EmmaKarney Posts: 690 Member
    I got married last summer which I thought would be the ultimate motivation to get in shape - I didn't. In fact, not only did I put ON weight between buying my dress and picking it up - I then piled on even more in the 6 months after the wedding.

    I don't know why I couldn't summon up the motivation for the wedding - plain old self-sabotage I think.

    Don't beat yourself up over that one day - do it for the rest of your life instead.

    I like that concept of doing it for myself instead. Although these will be the pictures that I will look at for the rest of my days...

    The pictures will be of you, on the happiest day of your life - regardless of if you lose pounds or not.

    Seriously - don't beat yourself up over that one day. Re-evaluate your goals and find a new surge of motivation - but don't centre it all on one day.

    Congratulations on your impending nuptials by the way :)
  • azeria
    azeria Posts: 527 Member
    Thanks everyone. I agree that without the stress, I would probably have more motivation. I keep telling myself, if I can just get through this one last project, but there's always another one. I do need to take care of myself and have started attempting that. I went for a facial last week and mani/pedi. It felt great while I was there.

    I do believe that I am taking my stress home with me. Although, there's plenty of stress here also! However, I do need to turn off my brain, while I am home trying to relax. Perhaps going for walks might be healthy.

    Last night, I didn't sleep so well. I was awake since 3:33 am. I know I will make it through the day. Even if I am exhausted when I do get home. I Will get there.
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    10 years ago, I got remarried and fad dieted down to 143 pounds and my size 10 wedding dress looked awesome. I pulled it to try on recently and at 128 pounds nowit was all floppy. I looked great at my wedding and the scale doesn't dictate how we look on our wedding days, our happiness for our future marriage does. All brides are beautiful.

    Don't lose weight to look like a fashion model, but adopt a healthy lifestyle to feel great. Eat healthy and drink lots of water for a clear complexion. Get sleep as well as stay active ... you will shine brighter with those goals !
  • fat_harrie
    fat_harrie Posts: 59 Member
    I'm getting married in July this year (51 days). I have no motivation to eat healthy and be more active. I don't know why. I don't know what is wrong with me.

    The last few years have been extremely stressful. I've survived them, but I had more motivation a year ago, then I do now. It's kind of like if my body is giving out on me. I am still stressed with the wedding, but the rest of my life is more or less falling into place.

    I don't know. I guess, I'm looking to see if there are other future brides out there that might be going some of the things I'm going through.

    Have a look at my profile pic, That was me at my heaviest knocking around 14.5 stone on my wedding day. I was married in November just gone and on the day I just didn't feel that interested in the flowers, dress, etc. and I look back at the photos and I just feel so disappointed in myself for not doing anything about it before hand. But saying that, I don't think I would have been that succesful as I didn't like planning my wedding, I found it stressful and suddenly my entire family all had their bit to add. I waited till after my wedding and Honeymoon before doing anything about my weight. It's entirely up to you and what you feel you can take onboard at the moment.

    Congratulations and good luck!
    X
  • Flab2fitfi
    Flab2fitfi Posts: 1,349 Member
    when i go married i was at my most heaviest and our wedding photos are hidden away. Partly was the fact we booked the wedding and then found out I was pregnant.

    My goal is to have new photos taken when we get down to our goal weights and then have a photo up on the wall.

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