My Battle with Rejection!!

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MindOverMatter
MindOverMatter Posts: 168 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have always been the type of person that appears strong and someone that can conquer all. Yet, secretly on the inside I am a shy, self conscious, worried person that fears even the slightest rejection. Everyone thinks of me as an extrovert, but truly any rejection causes me to become introverted. I pull away from anyone that makes me feel less than, even though I realize no one can make me feel anything without my consent I still somehow allow it. What I have discovered (since Feburary) is that in order to suceed in my goals I have to shut the world arround me out and in my life that will never work. In Feburary I was progressing nicely towards my goal and I could have almost been at my goal weight right now feeling really good! However I realize that no matter how thin I become I am always going to fear rejection so in order to be successful I really need to fix that and have a little more self worth than I have currently. My battle with rejection started very young and I am starting to feel it is going to take me a looooong time to fix. Funny thing is I wasn't even over weight when this began and I think I gained the weight as a form of protection and an excuse to hide from the world. Every time I get close to leaving the 200's I sabotage myself and then I have to start the process all over again. I definitely have been trying to think of some ways to face my fears and deal with the rejection.

Any ideas???

Replies

  • lorrigarcia
    lorrigarcia Posts: 19
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    I have the same fear of rejection!!!! While I was reading your post, it was if I was reading my own words because I feel the same way as you do...I also realize the problem and want to work on it as well as you do so.. I will be looking close to your post to see if there is any suggestions as I obviously have none since I'm in the same boat as you...Its good to know that I'm no the only one who feels this way! Thank you for sharing! :)
  • MindOverMatter
    MindOverMatter Posts: 168 Member
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    Lorrigarcia- It's crazy because even now as I watch the number of views go up I am wondering what prevented some of the people who viewed the post from saying something. I don't want to be that way...and not share who I am with the world! I am who I am and that should be good enough for me to accept! If there are people that do not except me then I should realize there are different strokes for different folks...I take things so personally and I know that it is something I need to fix, not anyone else! I have to fix it or I will never successfully lose this weight and keep it off! It is almost as if I believe that being fat will save me from a world of rejection...when in turn it actually ads to the rejection!!
  • nbenos
    nbenos Posts: 15 Member
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    I wrote a personal blog yesterday with the same emotional feelings.... rejection is so hard. You have helped me today, realize why I was feeling so badly about myself yesterday. Learning to love yourself is one of the hardest things to do I have found. I am trying every day to just be me and be happy in who I am and hopefully lose the weight along the way. A friend of mine who is very confident and doesn't have any reservations of how people view her or if they like her has a motto...."screw them if they can't take a joke" she really means if they don't like me for who I am that's ok. Hopefully, one day I can be that confident every day and not just on occassion. Thank you for the post as it has helped to open my eyes to my own feelings!
  • batty5
    batty5 Posts: 193
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    Ladies I feel your pain even if I do not suffer in the same way but I have dealt with so many ladies with similar feelings in my career as an adult educationalist. I will say to you both what I have always said to them: the first & biggest step is to recognise the problem which you have done. Now you need to build on that in preparation for the new you & some other life changes may help. Can you find some assertiveness classes near you because they really help your frame of mind? Can you try doing / learning something you have always wanted to do? Have you explained theses feelings to your nearest & dearest? I have often found that the so called " loved ones are precisely those that undermine the success because they feel threatened themselves so it is VITAL that they understand how you feel & why , if you know why.
    Your mantra from now on is " I DESERVE THIS", say it, believe & you will do it. Wishing you every success.
  • bjshooter
    bjshooter Posts: 1,174 Member
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    Wow, sounds so much like me its unreal, if something good is happening to me I find I sabotage it, as I would hate to fail. Makes me feel better if I have messed it up on purpose. Obviously i never notice I am doing this at the time, it is only some time after. I do this in all areas weight loss being one, but i also do this with relationships, if it gets good I am convinced i am going to get hurt and mess it up before it happens. I think just realising you do it is half the battle though. So by making this post you are half way there.
  • sakitchens
    sakitchens Posts: 37 Member
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    I myself have had issues with rejection. I have not gotten under 200 but I have not stopped trying. I think it is a day by day thing we need to do. Every morning I look in the mirror and tell myself that I am important and that i matter. It is hard for me with 2 kids to take care of. I often put them before me. I actually do that with everyone. I put everyone else before me. I Just keep going day by day. When I get stressed or feeling rejected and low I exercise. Some days it works some it doesn't. Just keep telling your self that you matter and that you are special and important. I know you can loose the weight and keep it off. That is the easy part the hard part is excepting that we are not perfect and not everyone agrees with or likes us. I believe in you and know you can conquer your goals and be a better person for it.
  • MindOverMatter
    MindOverMatter Posts: 168 Member
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    WOW! Thank you Ladies! For all the love and support! I think as women we should all support each other and help one another since we are such emotional beings! I agree that the people around us often are the ones that undermine your success in fear that you will some how surpass them. I have tried to remove negative sources from my life but then I wonder if that is actually the answer. Cutting those people out of my life allows them to still maintain that power in my life and I wish I could find the courage to face them directly! I know I am on to something big by recognizing it, but actually doing it is a whole story in and of its self!! I thought of using Facebook as a way to face some of those fears of rejection. By adding all of my past rejectors to my page but I fear that may not be the solution because I would be wondering what they thought of me and my pictures or the things I had to say! I have to get it together! I do deserve a better life than this! There are so many people that love me for who I am but yet I am most worried about the ones that don't....
  • susanleasings
    susanleasings Posts: 371 Member
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    Daily homework for all of you!!!! DEWIT!!!!!

    Look in the mirror and say loud and proud "I am good enough!" "I am fine just the way I am!" "I don't have to be perfect - I am perfectly imperfect!" "I am beautiful" and most importantly "I accept me just the way I am!"

    Seems cheesy, but think of how strongly you now believe all of the bad things you've been telling yourself over the past several years! Time to convince yourself otherwise! Time to accept yourself JUST THE WAY YOU ARE!!!!! Quit rejecting yourself!!!!

    XOXO :flowerforyou:

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