I slept all day to not eat :(
Ms_Curly
Posts: 20 Member
After an intense week and a half of trying to balance feeding my skinny daughter to gain while feeding myself to lose, as well as other activities which kept me really busy (we share custody but her dad has had to go away for work), I finally got some time to myself last night. How did I spend it? I stayed up WAYYYYY past midnight watching tv, knitting etc. At about 2am the urge to try some "breakfast biscuits" I'd just bought for my daughter hit, and I gave in to it. These come in six packs of four biscuits in each box. Before I knew it the entire box was gone, followed by some cheese sticks (also for my daughter). I was so ashamed that for the first time ever I didn't track it all.
Today, I had a rare day of "no responsibilities" (appointments, work, child care), so I slept through the entire bloody day in order to pass time and not eat at all to balance out last night's binge-a-thon. Finally got up at 8pm as I couldn't sleep any more! I now have a huge but healthy meal in the rice cooker (brown rice, smoked cod, broccoli) and am starving for it!
My eating journey has been so good, I'm really disappointed in myself for the binge. It's easy to not binge eat when the food is not in the house, but I have to have calorie-dense food in the house for my fussy daughter too. I'm really struggling with this. And the idiotic follow-up of sleeping all day in order not to eat? Doubly disappointed
Today, I had a rare day of "no responsibilities" (appointments, work, child care), so I slept through the entire bloody day in order to pass time and not eat at all to balance out last night's binge-a-thon. Finally got up at 8pm as I couldn't sleep any more! I now have a huge but healthy meal in the rice cooker (brown rice, smoked cod, broccoli) and am starving for it!
My eating journey has been so good, I'm really disappointed in myself for the binge. It's easy to not binge eat when the food is not in the house, but I have to have calorie-dense food in the house for my fussy daughter too. I'm really struggling with this. And the idiotic follow-up of sleeping all day in order not to eat? Doubly disappointed
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Replies
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Wow!!! I can relate to this sooo much. Two offsprings have conflicting weight issues. One could afford to lose, other should gain. Hubster passed his slim tendencies to my dancing slender girl. So. There are temptations abound in my house as well. I buy these things willingly and sometimes feel a sense of entitlement to them. Don't know how else to explain it. I knit and crochet as well... You would think that would keep me all tied up. But I manage to find a way to snack in the midst of it all. It helps reading your post -0
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Don't waste your time feeling guilty and beating yourself up! If something like this happens, go to bed, wake up with a new found enthusiasm! Everyday is a new start. Concentrate on the moment. Good luck!0
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Forcing yourself to sleep so you don't eat hints at more serious issues with food. I'd suggest going to talk to a dietician.0
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First off, it's not too late to log the calories. Really really helps to see the numbers, and sometimes it's not as bad as you are making it out to be in your mind. Own it, it's part of you and it's OK.
I would try really hard to buy stuff for her that you have no desire to eat. Maybe it's just that I am very picky, but there are lots of things DD will eat that I don't care for. If there is nothing that would work, just plan on eating limited quantities of the biscuits and cheese and fit them in your macros...there is a middle ground between binging and eating steamed fish and veggies. I can't see your diary but I wonder if maybe you have your fat set too low in general?
It sounds like you have a lot going on right now. Be kind to yourself, you deserve it. :flowerforyou:0 -
Oh, you have an extra challenge with having two kids with different nutritional needs! It must be hard to be diplomatic about managing the portion sizes/food choices between the two as well. I can just say to my daughter, eat eat eat, and she says to me mummy you need to do some sit-ups now lol (she's autistic and is quite funny in her statements, she knows I'm on a "diet")
I'm ok with trying "her" foods but the fact that they are so yummy they tend to tip me over to bingeing. It would be ok if I could stop at one. Now I just have to make a rule not to touch them to begin with,0 -
I knit and crochet as well... You would think that would keep me all tied up. But I manage to find a way to snack in the midst of it all.
Lots of crumbs in the knitted garment! I've actually managed to knit whilst on the exercise bike and watching telly, so it's usually a great hobby.0 -
Forcing yourself to sleep so you don't eat hints at more serious issues with food. I'd suggest going to talk to a dietician.
Yes, you may have a point. In my defence, I think I was hearing the kookaburras (ie. It was close to dawn), by the time I got to bed.0 -
I would try really hard to buy stuff for her that you have no desire to eat. Maybe it's just that I am very picky, but there are lots of things DD will eat that I don't care for. If there is nothing that would work, just plan on eating limited quantities of the biscuits and cheese and fit them in your macros...there is a middle ground between binging and eating steamed fish and veggies. I can't see your diary but I wonder if maybe you have your fat set too low in general?
Unfortunately, I am NOT a picky eater AT ALL. I will eat anything and everything. The steamed fish and veggies I found SO yummy, not a "I'm forcing myself to eat this" thing at all, I find it delicious and a bonus that i get so much more quantity of food for so little calories, I am not paying attention to my macros at all, just calories. This is a big step up for me, I used to be blissfully unaware of food nutrition.0 -
I'm going to give you the advice my doctor gave me when my eating habits got out of hand (starve/binge cycles, a little like what you're experiencing)
1) Stop calorie counting. Don't use MFP for a few weeks, until you have regulated your eating patterns.
2) Keep a plain ol' paper food diary, but don't just record what you eat, record when you eat it, and your emotions at the time.
3) At the end of each day, look back over the diary and this helps to identify when you might have eaten for emotional reasons rather than physical hunger. It may help you identify "trigger foods" as well - for me it's cheese, for example.
4) Try and regulate your eating to 3 meals, 2 snacks, and keep to set times when you will eat (and therefore by default, certain times when you will not eat).
5) Include enough protein and healthy fat in your diet - too many carbohydrates, particularly simple ones (ie sugary/refined) can trigger food/sugar cravings.
6) Don't weigh yourself - concentrate purely on establishing a regular eating pattern, and ensuring that 80-90% of your diet is real, whole natural food - not junk.
7) If you do slip and binge, don't skip a meal to compensate, get right back on to your planned eating pattern. Even if you don't feel like eating , the important thing is to continue with your eating plan despite the binge, even if you do eat a little less the next meal. One binge won't make you gain a ton of weight.
It worked, and if I feel myself slipping into bad habits, I stop counting and return to doing what my doctor suggested to ensure that I keep regular eating patterns, which is important if you have a demanding lifestyle. I also learned that I have a "set point" weight that my body does not want to go below, which for me is around 138-140lb - to lose more weight than that I have to severely restrict calories, and then I get low on energy, and sick, so part of that process for me was learning to accept that.0 -
Today, I had a rare day of "no responsibilities" (appointments, work, child care), so I slept through the entire bloody day in order to pass time and not eat at all to balance out last night's binge-a-thon. Finally got up at 8pm as I couldn't sleep any more! I now have a huge but healthy meal in the rice cooker (brown rice, smoked cod, broccoli) and am starving for it!
My eating journey has been so good, I'm really disappointed in myself for the binge. It's easy to not binge eat when the food is not in the house, but I have to have calorie-dense food in the house for my fussy daughter too. I'm really struggling with this. And the idiotic follow-up of sleeping all day in order not to eat? Doubly disappointed
Ohh please never do that again... The sleeping through the day so you don't eat. Just wake up the next day and get back at it again with a normal routine... It's SO much easier and tempting to fall back into bad habits when you're really hungry..
I had a great day yesterday foodwise. Wasn't hungry, all healthy choices, didn't snack or crave it. Then I saw by bf eat a Twix and I snapped. Ate the whole pack when he was gone. Got back at it today and am not thinking about yesterday. Just keep moving forward one day at a time. Rome wasn't built in one day either!0 -
Something else that it helps to remember is that one day isn't the end of the world. I was unexpectedly invited out to dinner last night and didn't have the calories left to splurge, but I went anyway and I ate anyway, including a soda and dessert. I was almost 700 calories over yesterday but I plan on trying to come in a little under for the next few days and maybe go for an extra walk or two.
You definitely don't need to skip meals to compensate for it, and you don't need to work out like a maniac either. Doing either out of guilt/regret just reminds you that you've made a mistake and helps you to continue feeling bad about it. If you try to balance it out over time, you'll see that you probably haven't done yourself any harm in the long run.0 -
Thanks for the Support and Motivation, guys. Back on track today
And yes, I ended up logging the binge. Go me!0 -
Thanks for the Support and Motivation, guys. Back on track today
And yes, I ended up logging the binge. Go me!
Good on ya0 -
We all fall down. Success is getting back up and moving forward. I would encourage you to go back and log the bad day. Take ownership of it, not to bring on more guilt but to just be accountable for it. If you can be completely honest with your logging, you will find yourself making better choices.
As for your daughter, try getting her involved in the grocery shopping and cooking process to get her to try new things. She should be able to eat the same things you do, and maybe add some protein shakes or extra granola bars or something into her diet if she really needs the calories. Has a doctor advised that she needs to put on weight? Some kids are just skinny. I'd be careful bringing attention one way or another to her weight unless it's medically necessary.0 -
you're being way too restrictive. You can eat healthy foods together, just in different portions, and possibly different condiments, sauces, etc.
oatmeal, fajitas, curry with lots of veggies and lean meat, minestrone soup, stir fry
just a few recipes that can be adjusted very easily so you can eat what your family is eating.
simply adjust the amount of cheese, rice, and other more caloric items for that person's needs while still having a healthy portion size. I've been doing this for years. It's difficult sometimes, but doing things like this really does help.0 -
I understand the conflicting weight problems...I was morbidly obese and one of my youngest (twins) has a feeding tube trying desperately to force weight on him since he cannot eat enough to maintain his weight...he has spastic quadriplegia cerebral palsy and lung issues and his doctor says with his always contracted muscles and lungs working so hard, it's like he's running a constant marathon and just cannot get enough calories.
Anyways, the guilt of being obese while he struggled used to cause me to binge as well. Forgive yourself and keep moving forward. Not having the high cal stuff in the house isn't an option, so practicing self control is the only thing you can do. I have literally cried over wanting a bacon cheeseburger before. I'm ashamed of it, but it's true. I told myself no and meant it and it became easier to say no the next time, and the next until it stopped being an issue.
Hang in there! (((hugs)))0
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