Struggling with self-image....

I do! I do! *sigh*

what worse, my low self-esteem isn't about my weight only, but it's almost like EVERYTHING about myself. It isn't that I am not grateful to God (I am glad that I am not handicapped though), but sometimes, when I look to the mirror, I can't lie to myself that I always wonder and complain:

why am I not that tall? why do I have small boobs? why I have too many cellulite? why I got a big nose? why my skin isn't glowy & the colour is uneven? why ain't my thighs are toned? why that, why this ..

LOL. I could continue ranting about things that I feel bad about myself, that sometimes I found I am laughing and shaking to myself in the mirror! )

People often say, ''be grateful to whoever you are/ if he loved you, he will accept you the way you are/ bla bla bla''..

As for me, I have always been a friendly and humorous girl in the real life, and people always compliment how they like my natural smile and my eyes, and my personality. Still, despite of these few good things that people have been honestly complimenting about me, I still can't get it over my negativeness. *sigh*

1) They say, to make us feel more grateful (in our case, to feel blessed and happy with our body), is to look at those that have worse scenarios than us. Let's say, you are now happily married and your husband has been with you until now, now look at some other people, there have been many relationships that break down simply because one of them got fat/ physically change - it happens in the real life, unfortunately. Still, your loving husband has been accepting you through your thick and thin, while others might not have this kind of support though - so, when you feel low looking at yourself in the mirror, next time, try to imagine to look at your gorgeous body from the eyes of your loving husband. I am sure for him you have always been his beautiful queen, and he is proud of you for everything )

2) I wish I could motivate you though not much, I know depression and low self-esteem aren't something that is easy to get rid of - we have lived with it for YEARS, they have been our shadows to where-ever we go, it felt like forever sometimes. Still, just trust that one day, that 'bad image of yourself' will simply be gone. Maybe you can try wearing that short now, and keep looking at the mirror while SMILING and giggling, and feel proud, try to do this as many times as you could. Well, logically, we cannot expect that years and years of our bad image of ourselves that we have stuck in our brain, will simply get suppressed with just a few looks of our new body at the mirror?

This isn't based on any scientific facts, but I just take it as a logic. Brain is like a storage of memories; bad and good. All these years, we have been keeping too much of bad images - and to kill that bad images? Well, you can't really change your past memory, but you can create NEW BETTER good memories. Make as many as BEAUTIFUL images of yourself (e,g look at the mirror wearing nice clothe and complimenting yourself), with God's will, by time, you will 'forget' that bad images of your past without you even realising it, simply because you are now too absorbed with your new SEXY image (that you 'forgot' you once had a bad image of yourself!) )

Myself has been struggling with bad body image, honestly. I am currently in a long-distant relationship with a guy - a very handsome, well-built :') Funny thing is, he is the kind of guy that I would run away from, because I often feel inferior to these 'hot' guys. However, as fate has played its part, we are now in a relationship, not a smooth one though. Most of the times it is because of my low self-confidence of how ugly I feel I am, that makes me jealous of his sexy girlfriends and other things.

Long story short, I am going to meet him next month, I don't have much time left, about 2-3 weeks only. During this mean time, I am preparing my body, my face and my mental (especially) before meeting him. I don't want to be perfect, but as best as I could be. I have insecurities if he felt I am fat, ugly etc etc in the real life. And this meeting is crucial for me, because we're going to discuss about our problems - either to end, or to continue for marriage. If we were going to end, it will hurt my ego so much and my confidence of my 'beauty'. That's why I have been working more - if I were going to be his memory, I want to be a beautiful memory of a beautiful lady. And if we were going to continue, we will surely get physically intimate, and I want to feel confident on my own skin.

So, everyday I have been working myself for our meeting, and it isn't easy to change our old mindset about ourselves. So, whenever you're feeling down, remember that, there are loads of people that have been having the same insecurities and stuck with our bad images like you. What we have to do is, keep saying to ourselves in the mirror and believing how beautiful we are - inside and outside. (Oh well, I am motivating myself too now, funny, hehe )

I am soooo sorry for this long reply! Stay happy and blessed

yeah. i was caught between a 12/14 for a while and then after losing 23 pounds i realized i was going to have to get new pants or become "pantless Ash" at work. i gave myself a panic attack before going to goodwill (because i just couldn't face going to target or the mall for some reason to do this and i don't have a lot of money to buy a whole new wardrobe either.) i didn't even know where to start. i ended up in 8's. a rare 6. and i still grab the 12's and xl sizes out of habit. same thing happened when i had to get new bras and undies. (not at goodwill though.) i forget i'm trying to fit grapefruits instead of melons now. i still see myself as the same size, just a slightly different shape. the rest of the world seems to have another opinion. :happy:

A guy at work paid me a compliment in front of others. My reaction was 'meh'. He replied "ok doll, no worries". It started an office debate about the subject of self image.

His point was "I could tell her she looks great but if she doesn't believe it herself, then it's not true". That was a fair while ago now and still rings in my ears.

Until the things that were happening to you, around you, with you, for you, by you at (what you perceive is) your worst start to change then your perception of yourself isn't likely to either.

Perhaps its worth taking a little time to consider what those things were and see where they stand today - do they still exist? have they changed at all?

Only you can convince you of your outstanding achievements and how amazing you are for what you've done ... but it sure as hell doesn't hurt to receive some well intended compliments and applause! From me you get a standing ovation! *clap clap clap clap clap*

I have been here for 7 months and yesterday for the first time ever,someone sent a fr with a "Hey handsome".I laughed liky crazy for the next 5 mins thinking what is wrong with her eyesight and immediately denied her request.I have issues

We constantly seek improvement. That's why my 15 pound weight loss goal became 20. Then my 20 pound weight loss became lower BF percentage. Than that became increase strength. It's good to want to keep improving.

Hopefully our minds catch up with our bodies. Mine hasn't, but it's getting better. I still sometimes see myself as the size 18 girl I started out as, as opposed to the size 8 girl I am now. Just keep working, and know that meeting a goal weight/size doesn't mean it will automatically go away. It's just something you have to work on regardless of where you are in the process.

Good luck!

It takes the mind a while to process the physical changes weight loss brings about. I believe that to be perfectly normal. The mind shields us and protects us from a lot of things, so changing our mental picture is in some cases a lot slower than the physical act of shedding pounds. It will come with time.

Another example is a person with an amputated limb. That person feels that limb as being present for a LONG time before the mind and body adjust to its absence.

This entire journey involves both mind and body.

defintely me! I have lost 71 pounds so far in a 2 1/2 year period went from a size 26W down to a size 14/16 feel like you do still struggle with the same issue so you are not alone by any means.

I could write out my whole story, but I'll save you the grief of reading it.

Yes, I struggle with self esteem. Yes I struggle with self image. Yes I struggle with weight (both ways, My Senior Year in high school I weighted 92 lbs)

Yes I've lost 8.5 so far, but I still think I'm fat (I'm 131 lbs, but I can see the rolls of fat and flawed areas and I FREAK out because I'm not where I want to be even though I am trying I feel like I get nowhere.)

My boyfriend really does try and compliment me, tell me I look nice, that's I'm pretty... I just don't think he feels that way because I don't even see myself that way, how can anyone else?

You're not alone, trust me.

It really is a mental thing. And I know a number of people touched on this, but it isn't a matter of reaching X weight. You're always going to want to lose a little less, tone a little more. I won't lie, I'm very fortunate to be happy with my weight. But there are still things I'd do anything to change about myself. I wish I were chestier, tan, had better skin, higher cheekbones, blahblahblah the list goes on. The realization I finally came to is sure, change what you can, but don't do it at the expense of your happiness. Beyond that, you have to find what you like about yourself! Own your body, flaws and all:) The funny thing is once I stopped obsessing over my body, I was being asked out on a lot more dates and receiving a lot more compliments. Confidence, not a size 0 body, is the most attractive thing anyone can have.

I struggle too !