Watch out for eating disorders and don't encourage them

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  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    I generally don't congratulate on losses unless I know the history. I try to support healthy behaviors instead - and for some people, that might be eating more.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,143 Member
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    I encourage people to make a note in their food diaries if they are under the weather when they have low numbers. Most of my friends do that now.

    I agree that I find it hard to encourage people that are eating less than 1200 calories a day for an extended period of time.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    I think MFP should have a system in place for contacting members who are clearly suffering with eating disorders (and not trying to combat them) and suggesting options for help and support to deal with them. As you say, we can do our best to make sure we're not supporting people to maintain an eating disorder and encourage them to get help.

    It does provide a warning message if you complete a day at an unhealthy level.
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
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    Very sensible. By the same token, it should be understood that some people can't eat as much as others and are perfectly healthy. Not everyone who eats under 1200 has an ED. Sometimes I have the impression that some people are approaching these boards with the presumption that everyone under a certain weight and calorie level is anorexic.
  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member
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    I don't comment unless I look first. Normally I will also look back at least a week (especially if I see someone losing a lot of weight fast) I will always question if I see someone not eating and if I have to question more than a couple times I un-friend them. Quite honestly I am here for my journey, not to babysit people who choose to starve themselves thin.

    My diary is open and public because I have lost weight without starving, without killing myself in the gym and without 'clean' eating and sometimes people are curious what that looks like. I don't even bother to 'complete' it. This way I don't spam people with the results and I also don't see the unrealistic message telling me how much weight I will lose in 5 weeks :P

    You an change your settings to choose what auto messages are posted on your behalf.
  • Bernadette60614
    Bernadette60614 Posts: 707 Member
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    I think sometimes when I respond to a post I don't read the post thoroughly enough (and I've fortunately caught myself.)

    I'm going to bet the majority of us skim a post and then quickly respond not realizing that the person weighs 115 e.g, 5 ft 8 inches , living on waterpacked tuna and wants to get to below a BMI of 19.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
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    Very sensible. By the same token, it should be understood that some people can't eat as much as others and are perfectly healthy. Not everyone who eats under 1200 has an ED. Sometimes I have the impression that some people are approaching these boards with the presumption that everyone under a certain weight and calorie level is anorexic.

    One of my biggest peeves. I also check stats :) For instance you..I would expect you to be under 1200 and be perfectly fine. The problem is that 1200 is taken as a hard rule, it isn't.. The number is different for EVERYONE. But people never bother to look and just assume. People who don't research in general just annoy me - even worse when they start spouting off without having a clue.
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
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    I encourage people to make a note in their food diaries if they are under the weather when they have low numbers. Most of my friends do that now.

    I agree that I find it hard to encourage people that are eating less than 1200 calories a day for an extended period of time.

    There are people here who have had bypass surgery who MUST eat far less than 1200. Calories alone can't be the test. Neither can weight.

    There are certain signs: For example, people who boast about eating extremely low calorie diets (1200 is NOT a Very Low Calorie Diet), or complain that they can never reach their calorie goal although the simple answer is to eat more.

    Incidentally, people who constantly boast about how much they can eat bore me too. I don't care how much you can eat. You're overweight. If you weren't overweight in the first place this wouldn't even be an issue.
  • ehsan517
    ehsan517 Posts: 114
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    i was hoping someone would bring this topic up. the amount of "i eat 1000 cals and do 2 hours of cardio daily and cant lose weight" posts are pissing me off!

    didnt know people could be afraid of food. i was once like that. turned into a skeleton eating 12/1300 cals a day. im a bloody 22 yr old male! not some anorexic chick! i quicky switched up to 2000 cals a day, and i lost fat and built muscle. stayed consistent and it became my lifestyle. my next goal is to start eating even more cause i need even more calories and dont really have much fat to cut since im around 10%.

    thanks for getting the word out there thou! this was well needed!!
  • gottogetinshape
    gottogetinshape Posts: 124 Member
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    I encourage people to make a note in their food diaries if they are under the weather when they have low numbers. Most of my friends do that now.

    I agree that I find it hard to encourage people that are eating less than 1200 calories a day for an extended period of time.

    Yes, I've started to leave notes if I've gone over (this is both for my future reference and for my MFP friends) and I'd do the same if I was under by more than a little (although I expect this will only be if I'm ill or very stressed).
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
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    Very sensible. By the same token, it should be understood that some people can't eat as much as others and are perfectly healthy. Not everyone who eats under 1200 has an ED. Sometimes I have the impression that some people are approaching these boards with the presumption that everyone under a certain weight and calorie level is anorexic.

    One of my biggest peeves. I also check stats :) For instance you..I would expect you to be under 1200 and be perfectly fine. The problem is that 1200 is taken as a hard rule, it isn't.. The number is different for EVERYONE. But people never bother to look and just assume. People who don't research in general just annoy me - even worse when they start spouting off without having a clue.

    Exactly.
  • crista_b
    crista_b Posts: 1,192 Member
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    I think sometimes when I respond to a post I don't read the post thoroughly enough (and I've fortunately caught myself.)

    I'm going to bet the majority of us skim a post and then quickly respond not realizing that the person weighs 115 e.g, 5 ft 8 inches , living on waterpacked tuna and wants to get to below a BMI of 19.
    I caught myself doing a similar (but also kind of the opposite??) thing the other day in the forums. I saw someone's ticker said that they have 4 pounds to go, and the goal listed was 95, and I was like, "No way! That can't be healthy!" But I stopped myself and took a minute, and when I checked out their profile, they were actually like 4'10" or something tiny like that where their goal weight is actually fine. Sometimes people need to stop and think before posting.
  • gottogetinshape
    gottogetinshape Posts: 124 Member
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    I think MFP should have a system in place for contacting members who are clearly suffering with eating disorders (and not trying to combat them) and suggesting options for help and support to deal with them. As you say, we can do our best to make sure we're not supporting people to maintain an eating disorder and encourage them to get help.

    It does provide a warning message if you complete a day at an unhealthy level.

    It does but, while for those of us without eating disorders, this is a warning, for an anorexic this = further kudos.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,650 Member
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    I think we need to realize also that there are more eating disorders on here than just anorexia. Many more people struggle with binge eating disorders, and lately I have seen many more 'binge' threads on the forums, where people are bragging about massive amounts of foods they have eaten on their cheat days, or even their everyday eating.

    Yes, some people need a much higher calorie level than others can, but posting about eating pints of ice cream and pop tarts, and whole pizzas, can be triggering for many binge eaters, and frustrating for those who have to eat at a lower level and can't have 5000 calorie days.

    I agree we should be concerned about the extreme under eaters, (and please don't accuse people who eat 1200-1500 cals a day of starving themselves), but we also need to be aware of possibly triggering binge eaters.
  • gottogetinshape
    gottogetinshape Posts: 124 Member
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    Very sensible. By the same token, it should be understood that some people can't eat as much as others and are perfectly healthy. Not everyone who eats under 1200 has an ED. Sometimes I have the impression that some people are approaching these boards with the presumption that everyone under a certain weight and calorie level is anorexic.

    I am very careful to take this into account. We all have our healthy minimum calorie requirement, depending on our height, age, activity, etc. and of course there's no 'one size fits all' calorie goal. I am talking only about people who are anorexic and I won't assume they are without clear evidence, not just a low calorie intake.
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
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    It becomes very clear very quickly when someone on here has an eating disorder i.e. anorexia. I can't support their weight loss because they are ill and need to eat MORE not less but, of course, I wish I could support them to get well. I guess all/most of us have an eating disorder in a way, whether it's binge-eating/comfort-eating/addiction to junk food/not enough self-love to eat well etc. but I, for one, am trying to cut down on the junk, improve my diet, exercise more, and get healthy, not kill myself. I absolutely cannot congratulate anorexic people on their ability to cut down to a few hundred calories a day and I think we all need to be careful not to fuel people's eating disorders. Look at Food Diaries before you congratulate someone new on coming under their calorie goal. I've seen lots of comments on a status saying Blah blah came under their calorie goal and when I have looked at their Food Diary, I see that they are living on almost nothing, over-exercising, and they are already very thin. I would feel responsible for strengthening their resolve to make themselves thinner and thinner and sicker and sicker. I feel that we all need to take care not to encourage eating disorders and unhealthy behaviour on here. Of course we support one another when we slip and eat too much pizza or whatever but this is not a site for underweight people who want to become even more underweight.

    I feel sick when I see people congratulating someone on being under their goal, then see that they are massively (and continually) under-eating and are already underweight.

    It's the same thing, in my opinion, as people who are celebrating others' "I'm morbidly obese and perfectly healthy so don't shame me" posts.

    The truth is, there are are healthy and unhealthy weights in either direction. There needs to be more moderation of posts that promote the following topics: anorexia, morbid obesity as healthy, diet pills, fad diets, supplements and cleanses. Too many of those topics get through the filters and too many folks are falling for the lies.
  • gottogetinshape
    gottogetinshape Posts: 124 Member
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    i was hoping someone would bring this topic up. the amount of "i eat 1000 cals and do 2 hours of cardio daily and cant lose weight" posts are pissing me off!

    didnt know people could be afraid of food. i was once like that. turned into a skeleton eating 12/1300 cals a day. im a bloody 22 yr old male! not some anorexic chick! i quicky switched up to 2000 cals a day, and i lost fat and built muscle. stayed consistent and it became my lifestyle. my next goal is to start eating even more cause i need even more calories and dont really have much fat to cut since im around 10%.

    thanks for getting the word out there thou! this was well needed!!

    No problem. I really wanted to get this out there. Thanks for replying!
  • ehsan517
    ehsan517 Posts: 114
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    Very sensible. By the same token, it should be understood that some people can't eat as much as others and are perfectly healthy. Not everyone who eats under 1200 has an ED. Sometimes I have the impression that some people are approaching these boards with the presumption that everyone under a certain weight and calorie level is anorexic.

    One of my biggest peeves. I also check stats :) For instance you..I would expect you to be under 1200 and be perfectly fine. The problem is that 1200 is taken as a hard rule, it isn't.. The number is different for EVERYONE. But people never bother to look and just assume. People who don't research in general just annoy me - even worse when they start spouting off without having a clue.

    Exactly.

    eating 1200 cals is the bare MINIMUM for the acerage woman. even if you lived a lifestyle where you sat at a desk and did practically NOTHING, that would still be a dangerously low level of calories to consume on a daily.
    a 5`7 120 pound woman aged 22 has a BMR above that(1400 cals roughly), and thats just to LIVE. if your body adapts to 1200 cals and thats all you eat and you are fine while living a normal life and exercising, then guess what? your metabolism has slowed down to the point where it can be defined as "damaged"
    still, if thats what floats your boat, good for you. its funny thou how in todays world, a persons daily diet has become such a personal topic. i suppose to each his/her own at the end of the day eh? :D
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
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    I un-friended someone yesterday for this same reason.

    She stated she had been obese her whole life and her doctor OK'ed her to eat under 600 kcal a day. I'm not an idiot. I used to be a medic with the county, in no way is that healthy and doctor approved.

    I also provoked her a little bit about it, but all she kept saying was "i have issues and the doctor says it's ok, why can't you just support me? I'm not going to tell you my issues because I don't know you that well." Well if you want support, you'll need to tell us so we know how to support you and where you need motivation. her response was "I'm not telling any of you anything just support what my doctor tells me to do because he's right."

    Automatically un-friended. She was 19. I don't have time for people who want to do fad dieting and drastically cutting calories so low I wouldn't be able to function. 590 kcals a day is NOT healthy, no matter which way you put it. Again, is she had just stated I have an ED (she didn't even need to state which one), but the fact that her profile clearly stated she was the fat kid growing up and it said she wanted to lose 120 pounds I didn't feel right staying friends with her and supporting her and her quack dr.

    And it wasn't just a day or two, it was WEEKS of eating kcals that low.

    I also eat what I want, healthy and unhealthy, but in MODERATION. You can lose weight and not be on all these crazy diet fads and products. I had a good friend in Herbalife - needless to say, I am no longer friends with her because of her pushiness into making me an Herbalife person (I took one shake and got so sick off it.) It just didn't work for me, if it works for others that's fine, but it's not my thing. So anyone who adds me and is trying to push product gets blocked as well. She's lost like 50 pounds and tells me how great it is to work from home and she makes huge salary... you know what? I don't care about those things. I've dropped 35 pounds myself, with diet and exercise and eating normal food, and honestly I love my job and can't see myself not coming into work. But that's what works for her, it's not what works for me.

    Granted we're bound to see eating disorders and product pushers because this is a free website. I'm sure if we had to pay, only legit people would be here (mostly).

    If they have an eating disorder then they shouldn't be on a website for losing weight. I'm sure there is another site for people who need that type of help (calorie increases and moderate exercise, not 4 hour a day exercise binges).
  • gottogetinshape
    gottogetinshape Posts: 124 Member
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    It becomes very clear very quickly when someone on here has an eating disorder i.e. anorexia. I can't support their weight loss because they are ill and need to eat MORE not less but, of course, I wish I could support them to get well. I guess all/most of us have an eating disorder in a way, whether it's binge-eating/comfort-eating/addiction to junk food/not enough self-love to eat well etc. but I, for one, am trying to cut down on the junk, improve my diet, exercise more, and get healthy, not kill myself. I absolutely cannot congratulate anorexic people on their ability to cut down to a few hundred calories a day and I think we all need to be careful not to fuel people's eating disorders. Look at Food Diaries before you congratulate someone new on coming under their calorie goal. I've seen lots of comments on a status saying Blah blah came under their calorie goal and when I have looked at their Food Diary, I see that they are living on almost nothing, over-exercising, and they are already very thin. I would feel responsible for strengthening their resolve to make themselves thinner and thinner and sicker and sicker. I feel that we all need to take care not to encourage eating disorders and unhealthy behaviour on here. Of course we support one another when we slip and eat too much pizza or whatever but this is not a site for underweight people who want to become even more underweight.

    I feel sick when I see people congratulating someone on being under their goal, then see that they are massively (and continually) under-eating and are already underweight.

    It's the same thing, in my opinion, as people who are celebrating others' "I'm morbidly obese and perfectly healthy so don't shame me" posts.

    The truth is, there are are healthy and unhealthy weights in either direction. There needs to be more moderation of posts that promote the following topics: anorexia, morbid obesity as healthy, diet pills, fad diets, supplements and cleanses. Too many of those topics get through the filters and too many folks are falling for the lies.

    I agree. The only difference between the two unhealthy attitudes to food is that MFP is set up to give you a pat on the back if you eat under your calorie goal which is fine for most of us but dangerous for someone with/fighting an under-eating disorder.

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