How do you let go?

faely
faely Posts: 144 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have a list a mile long of why I got fat...emotional issues, blah blah blah...and why I want to lose weight, my motivation, but what I want to know is HOW? HOW do you get past your fears? I have wonderful motivation - getting rid of my diabetes, not leaving my son parentless, teaching him to be healthy - but I struggle with getting over the issues that got me here in the first place. I've done the soul searching and figured out my demons. I've acknowledged them and accepted them. But, I'm still fighting with myself, even though I've made my peace with those demons. I want to get rid of them. I feel that's a huge impediment to my weight loss right now. For some reason, my motivation doesn't push me anymore. The fears are still there. HOW do you keep going? HOW do you let go?

Replies

  • Schlackity
    Schlackity Posts: 268 Member
    Great question! When you find out, let me know too. :-) I have demons in my closet and I just keep that door locked but I know they're still in there. They don't ever go away but maybe they just get smaller. I wish I knew.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    The fears are still there. HOW do you keep going? HOW do you let go?

    For me, and I would assume most since reading posts here, the path is not linear and staight. We fall down, or I should say we have our ups and downs. I suppose the best we can do is to try and improve our choices with each creast and trough we goo through until we are closer to living the way we want. We can slowly shed those fears as we build the confidnce in outrselves that we can make the right choice most of the time instead of just sometimes. We understand that we may have an off day, but we know it won't turn into an off week....wonth...couple months...year....years. We end that cycle and break the chain. It's all about perisitance and making those choice despite how we try to sabotage ourselves and drain our own motivation. Maybe it is just going through the motions, but it keeps reinforcing the right choices.

    I think it's just putting in the time. It will all come over time.
  • stephaniemejia1671
    stephaniemejia1671 Posts: 482 Member
    Anything negative weighs you down and prevents you from moving forward in your life. Since being on MFP I have felt myself stand taller and feel more determind to move on from things and people that hold me back. Fear comes from not knowing what to expect, BUT if you confront that fear that makes you THAT much stronger. I was scared to start on my weight loss journey because knew pretty much I was going to be doing it on my own. I'm still at it though determined to keep the negative away, I'm not afraid anymore, I"m ready..
  • TedStout
    TedStout Posts: 241
    Everything you do in life is choice. Everything. You can accept fear, or not. Its really that simple. Choose wisely.
  • toutmonpossible
    toutmonpossible Posts: 1,580 Member
    It's good to engage in some self-examination, but understanding a problem doesn't necessarily make you change it. Focus on your environment and habits and construct a life that will make it easier to eat better and move more.

    I read an article that said that acknowledging our true priorities can sometimes help us change. If you calmly say to yourself that weight loss is not a priority -- it doesn't sound like it really is, it sounds like you think it SHOULD be -- you may stop fighting yourself enough to do something.
  • Elf_Princess1210
    Elf_Princess1210 Posts: 895 Member
    I go to counseling. Sometimes we can't do things on our own, which is why there are so many mental health counselors, psychiatrists, and group therapy sessions. Once you address the root of your problem, then the real healing can begin.
  • Willowana
    Willowana Posts: 493 Member
    A long as I'm paying attention to my choices, it's a step in the right direction.

    I've learned to be kind to myself after a binge. "Life happens". I pick up and move on.

    I realized that I have the rest of my life to figure this out. As long as I'm working towards getting better, all else is secondary.

    Since this is for life, the scale has no bearing on my emotions anymore. It's not the End All - Be All. It's only a testament to my efforts. I don't like what I'm seeing? Work harder.

    Food is fuel. Not comfort, not in place of sex or romance, not to cure boredom, not a reward. Because in the end, if I'm using food in place of what I really want....I'll never be satisfied.

    If I truly crave a food. I eat it. I just have to make sure I can fit it in with the rest of my goals.

    I let go when I stopped placing silly requirements, ultimatums, and expectations on myself. Letting go is just about learning to live better and be happy.
  • AmberleyAngel
    AmberleyAngel Posts: 160 Member
    For me I couldn't do anything about my weight until I'd dealt with all those things that had made me the way I was. The process to do so was challenging, sometimes scary, and very emotional. My Pastor worked with me to get rid of all those hangups, hurts, fears, wrongs, and wrong thoughts. With Jesus' help I was able to get rid of the bad stuff and it's effect on me ... and I've never looked back. The week after I finished the ministry was when my life changed (end of Septmber 2012). Since then I've lost 63kg - in only 7.5 months.

    Maybe find yourself safe to talk with...? I wish you all the best.
  • MudRunLvr
    MudRunLvr Posts: 226 Member
    tumblr_lriu52WZhT1qeakgbo1_500_zpsfe457e64.gif
  • brenn24179
    brenn24179 Posts: 2,144 Member
    tumblr_lriu52WZhT1qeakgbo1_500_zpsfe457e64.gif

    This
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    get therapy. brain detox!
  • buffermarie
    buffermarie Posts: 54 Member
    I got myself into therapy becuase regardless of how many reasons I had.. one being that I could possibly DIE, it was the therapy that really helped me let go. Turns out I just never thought I deserved to "have".. "Have" anything! Anything good, or good for me.
    Good luck!
    Letting go is the most free-ing, beautiful thing I have ever done for myself.
    :)
  • lesle1
    lesle1 Posts: 354 Member
    I run... and run... and run. : ) My mileage goes up when I'm thinking about stuff and stressed.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
    Depends on the demons. Some demons you can slay by yourself, for some you need an army. Acknowledging and accepting is good, but that's not going to help you deal with them (which is what I think you're getting at-they don't ever really "go", you just learn to deal with them sort of, so they don't rule your life). So it all depends on what the demons are. Therapy can help you sort all that out.
  • faely
    faely Posts: 144 Member
    In a nutshell, I'm afraid of being successful at my weight loss. My getting fat became a shield against getting hurt. Losing the weight removes the shield and, in my mind, opens me up to hurt again. I've lost 50 lbs already but its completely stagnated over the last 16 months. If it hadn't, I'd be at my goal weight. I was very passionate about getting healthy when I found out I was diabetic - that's how I lost the 50 lbs. Now that passion is gone, replaced by this stupid fear. I feel really dumb about the whole thing honestly but I'm tired of not losing anymore even with good calorie management, so here I am.

    /crazy
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    You mgith try talking with a counselot or therapist. There are obviously some issue you need to resolve that are zapping your energy and enjoyment in life.
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,332 Member
    I had to hit emotional and physical bottom. I was SO disgusted with myself I cried. That was the push I needed. And I haven't looked back since.

    I do take anti depressants and medication for my diabetes too. But I hope to be off at least the T2 meds sometime this year. I agree...if you have insurance, see a therapist and get your ducks in a row, as they say. I had to do it pretty much on my own since I dont have insurance.

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