feeling discouraged! :(

standoug888
standoug888 Posts: 126 Member
in Motivation and Support
when I first started my weight loss I weighed 319 pounds now im down to 231 and when I look in the mirror I still feel like im 300+ I have been fat all my life and I don't remember the last time I was down this low on my weight. I mean I know im doing good I mean I lost 88 pounds but I just don't feel like I look any better I still have a big stomach idk if its fat or just extra skin I just started doing a lot more weight lifting to tighten up my stomach and to gain muscle. everyone that sees me says I look way smaller and skinnier idk I just need to train my mind im not discouraged to the point were im giving up never that im just really down on my self because I still feel fat and that's the worst feeling in the world for me feeling like your worthless and giving it your all and I still feel like im big. sorry for the long rant lol I just had to get this off of my chest

Replies

  • brianpfoss
    brianpfoss Posts: 1
    I am inspired by hearing that you lost nearly 90 pounds!!! Even if you stopped today, that in itself would be an amazing accomplishment! I am down to 231 too, but I started at 283. Looking at your photo, I did NOT think you were a big guy at all. We are always hardest on ourselves. Keep up the great work!
  • RaggedyPond
    RaggedyPond Posts: 1,487 Member
    I feel the same way. People will always feel bad about their bodies no matter what weight or size. There is always something people want to look better. The only thing you can do is try your best and accept yourself.
  • kpepin3
    kpepin3 Posts: 13 Member
    Sorry you're feeling a bit down today. You've come a long way - losing that much weight is no easy task, so congrats to you on that!

    I also get where you are coming from with that feeling of feeling low about yourself, despite the fact that you recognize how far you've come. Sometimes I personally wonder if my body changed so fast that my mental self didn't have time to catch up, but that's just me speculating and thinking too deeply about it.

    Anyway, I wanted to respond because I've been in that situation before, so I might know a little bit about how you are feeling. For me, I just remembered how far I'd come, and my motivation for the change. It definitely helped to have support and to hear positive comments to help cement in my mind that I was losing the weight and it was showing (even if I couldn't see it or get past that feeling of still feeling big).
  • cindy5761
    cindy5761 Posts: 28
    Great job on losing all that weight!! I totally get that......I lost 35 pounds and have kept that weight off for awhile now and still at times feel like I don't look better so when that happens I take out some of the clothes I wore before to remind myself how far I've come. Hang in there!
  • dorthymcconnel
    dorthymcconnel Posts: 237 Member
    Way to go on the weight loss! That is a great accomplishment. I know, sometimes it takes awhile for our heads to catch up with the rest of us when you've been at a certain point for so long. Hang in there. Don't give up. :)
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
    its hard to lose weight ...mentally, too...not just physically...I hope you are encouraged each day by all that you have accomplished.. incredible!
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    You look so much better so please don't think that way. Just keep going.
  • Peanutbutterx
    Peanutbutterx Posts: 332
    to loose 88 pounds is amazing, so i have to first say congrats : ) so many people would LOVE to be able to loose that much weight and so that took a lot of dedication and hard work, you should be very happy with yourself to be able to do that : )

    one thing i will say is that it's really hard to see yourself different because you have been with yourself every day and it was a gradual change. plus, when you see yourself one way for so long it's hard to see yourself any different. people were always telling me wow you look so skinny bla bla but i didnt see it, i still thought i was "chubby" because i was just used to it for the longest time. then recently i saw a recent picture of me and an old picture of me and was like wow i really did loose a lot of weight.

    just keep doing what your doing and know that you are loosing and people are noticing. your doing great, don't get discouraged and don't give up. i'm sure you are very inspiring to a lot of people with how far you've come and once you completely reach your goal, try the thing i did with the pictures. look at an old picture of yourself at your highest weight and the new picture and you will be able to really see the difference. keep it up, your doing awesome : )
  • unapologetically_crystal
    unapologetically_crystal Posts: 278 Member
    hang in there. the brain takes a while to sink in that you have changed. we always think the worst of ourselves. congrats on all that you have done. you have done amazing things. you look fantastic. i try to remember that i FEEL better then i used to. i like to do things i didnt used to.. or would have never attempted before so then im like wow look how far i've come. recently i put back about 10lbs because i tried to act like i could eat "bad things" (really over my calories) and feel okay about it.. (cuz i at times feel like i could easily slip into an eating disorder..unlike overeating) because normally i am on top of my calories like an insane maniac.. well i feel AWFUL.. definitely not a feeling im okay with. and to think that over a year ago.. i lived like that every day... disgusting.. and such a horrible thing to have done to my body. it took me quite a few months.. at least half a year to "catch up" that im not still huge. i cant say i ever even say im fat anymore. its just not a way i think of myself anymore. just keep hanging on. also trying to tone things up might make you feel better.. (tho honestly.. i am too lazy for that). .. even after losing 132lbs.. i STILL try to buy the bigger size clothes.. my brain wont figure out that i dont need all that until i try them on and they dont fit at all. today, i just randomly looked at an old picture that i remembered having.. and i dont even know that person that was me back then. she was never who i was.. me now.. thats the me i always was. i just hid behind my insecurities before.

    and you are far from worthless. look at all you have done and achieved.. somewhere in there you really realize your worth. let that part of you come forth and take over all that negativity. congrats on your weightloss. just give your brain time.
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
    It takes time... a lot of time.

    I have been maintaining for over a year, and I still struggle with body image distortion.

    It's funny, because sometimes I look in the mirror and still feel like I'm fat, but someone at work this week told me, "I can't even remember what you looked like when you were heavier."

    Find ways to measure your progress other than the scale or the mirror. Having fitness goals really helps me focus on my progress. Today I did explosive push-ups at the gym and actually caught some air on all of them. There's no way that I could have done that 110 pounds ago.
  • broox80
    broox80 Posts: 1,195 Member
    Yep. I understand!! I have 60 pounds left to go and at times it feels like I will never
    Get there. I tried on clothes today and just wanted to cry!! I have no words of wisdom
    just look at how far you have come and how much better you must feel. Chin up bud!!!
  • larodriguez02
    larodriguez02 Posts: 106 Member
    Hang in there..You have done an amazing job losing 88lbs! be proud of that! You will get there, yes there are ups and downs along the way but realize that weight loss is a huge accomplishment. Just don't give up!!
  • laurenmehrhoff
    laurenmehrhoff Posts: 8
    Wow, 88 pounds is a lot! I think everyone feels that way when they're losing weight, but trust me if people around you are noticing, there's a difference. Just try not to think about when you where 300+, because that's not what you look like now, focus on the present and why you want to lose weight. I think you should also try some ab workouts if you want to tone your middle a little more! Good luck and don't give up!
  • ddky
    ddky Posts: 381 Member
    I think the way you feel is pretty common. Get someone to take some pictures of you in various poses.... then pull out some old pictures and lay them out together. I think you will definitely see the difference that way. You are doing great.... stay the course.
  • Capt_Inzane
    Capt_Inzane Posts: 733 Member
    Man I started at 350 and now down to 287 you're an inspiration to me!
    Looking at your photo's you have made a tremendous effort in changing not only your body but your lifestyle.

    Keep it up, I'm sending a friend invite just to make sure you keep going strong!!

    Tonight while working out I wanted to quit and just kept saying "you only cheat yourself" over and over until I finished. You made it this far sure your hitting a hurdle or two but persevering through them is what makes it worth it!
  • standoug888
    standoug888 Posts: 126 Member
    Thanx everyone! I really appreciate you guys taking the time out to reply everyones post helped me in some way im feeling better now im never gunna give up that's something I do not do I knw there are ups and downs this was just one of my down days I still stayed under my calories today and still got in a good strength training workout again thanx everyone for the support it means a lot!
  • aubrie917
    aubrie917 Posts: 41 Member
    I know exactly how you feel. EXACTLY how you feel. You know those things online where it tells you to put in your weight to calculate this or that? I have found myself starting to type 250 or somewhere around there. I haven't weighed 250 in over a year! It's hard to accept the fact that we are no longer who we used to be, even when the change is for the better. And honestly, you should be so proud of yourself for how far you've come. Something I've learned about life is that when we are heavy, we tend to hate ourselves...We need to realize that we can love ourselves no matter how we look. Even if we are still heavy, we need to love who we are. Now that you're not as heavy, you still need to learn to love yourself. It sounds kind of ridiculous but it's true. When you learn to love yourself as you are, you'll be much happier.
  • ylor89
    ylor89 Posts: 105 Member
    Woah! You've been making some great progress! :happy:

    I guess my goal isn't that big compared to others. I was at 145lbs and I'm going to get to 115lbs...so 30 pounds.

    I've lost 17lbs, and I've been taking pictures of myself for every five pounds I lose. And I guess I have the opposite problem. Others don't see progress, but I do and I've been feeling a little better about myself. However, I'm one of those people (unfortunately) who need others to notice that I'm not overweight anymore. And I think that affects how I feel about myself too. For example, I'll feel really good about myself but then I'll go to a get together where I haven't seen my friends in months and they don't say anything. So then I start to think, "Well, have you really made progress?"

    We are our worst enemies. Have you seen "Shallow Hal" where his friend talks about ugly duckling syndrome? Sometimes I feel like that might apply to me. You've been ugly or fat for so long that when 10 years down the road, you've got a pretty face or your thinner, you still feel ugly or fat. I think it takes time to feel comfortable in your own skin. Sorry, my post probably doesn't help much. I just kind of ramble a lot...

    I'll end with this. When I was training for a marathon (that never happened), I read so much about how you really need to train your mind. Because the body will always be tired. But if you can convince your mind to keep going, you have a greater chance of finishing the race.

    Good luck! And congrats! :smile:
  • Freebird_
    Freebird_ Posts: 15
    we all have or will have our days. just remember you're not that same person you were when you started out. look forward and start accepting the person you've transformed into now. and congrats on your weight loss!
  • G__Force
    G__Force Posts: 280 Member
    It does take so getting use to, looking in the mirror and not seeing the extra weight. when i got to my weight i still felt like i had a big gut, it took my mindy a while to catch up and dam i'm am skinny. I even had a couple people tell me i was to thin. I started building muscle so some of my weight came back, dont worry just keep plugging away and your mind will catch up with your body!!
  • kathyl05
    kathyl05 Posts: 67 Member
    Doug, you are absolutely a standout! You look fantastic. If I were a 22 year old guy, I'd hit the weights in the gym. Be proud of yourself!
  • okcat4
    okcat4 Posts: 224 Member
    We get so set on our mental picture of ourselves, it can often take 6 months or more to reset that picture. Give it time. Listen to you feedback form others and other non scale sources. Are you r clothes smaller, do you have better stamina, what can you do now you did not before?

    Keep it up! You have done well and will continue to!
  • vstraughan
    vstraughan Posts: 163 Member
    You see yourself every day so the gradual changes will be harder for you to see. I've just seen your pictures and OH. MY. GOD. it is immensely obvious that you have done amazingly well.

    All I can say is that anytime you feel discouraged, take a look at your pics.

    BRAVO YOU!!! Muchos respect!
  • snowmanluv
    snowmanluv Posts: 200 Member
    Stop the clock. Let look at those accomplishments. Lost a ton weight. That is no easy task. You look better. You should be feeling better. Do yourself a favor...pull a biggest loser trick out of the drawer. Find and old picture and take a new one. Look at the difference in what you've cone. Also fill up a backpack with all that extra pounds lost. Try walking around with it....not easy not fun. You're here because you chose to do it. You committed. It might not be perfect but it's a lot better than before. You can only be you and you're a better you.

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