stopping self sabotage before it starts

I was always a huge self-sabotager. But a few things have helped:

1) A little mantra I try to use to remind myself: "If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the answer." If you're eating to satisfy an emotional need, you'll never feel full because you weren't hungry in the first place.

2) Being on MFP reminds me that I am accountable for the choices I make, and that each choice is a part of a bigger picture. I used to sneak food and imagine that it wouldn't "count". Now I know that whether it's good or bad, "secret" or carefully chosen or totally public, it will be recorded because it DOES "count".

3) Most importantly for me, I’m avoiding all-or-nothing thinking. If I give in to self-sabotage and eat something that will put me over my daily goals, I get over it. Eating ice cream doesn’t mean I’ve blown my diet, and isn’t an excuse to slide into terrible habits that ruin all the progress I’ve made. Historically, one "bad" choice would excuse the next and the next in a slippery slope to failure. Now, I can have a treat every now and then. And be fine with it!

4) The "not now" trick. Self-sabotage manipulates me, but I turn the tables with this little trick: I stopped telling myself "no". Saying "I can't" have dessert feels like deprivation, and turns it into some sort of battle of will-power, which I can't always win. But saying "yes, just not now" makes it seem like no big deal. Can I have a piece of chocolate from the candy bowl at work? YES. Can I have another "Sure, but not right now.... wait just a little bit". More often than not, by the time "later" rolls around, I've forgotten or the craving has passed. It seems like such a dumb little thing, but it has been hugely helpful to me.

5) I've been REALLY trying to stop moralizing food. A carrot stick isn't "good". A piece of cake isn't "bad". If I'm in a "f***-the-world" mood (which is one of the ways I used to justify self-sabotage), I'll have to find a better way to express it than to eat "bad" food, because there is no such thing. There are healthier choices and less healthy choices, but it's all food...none of it is in any way either virtuous or immoral. As long as I log it on MFP, I'm good.

Anyway, KUDOS TO YOU on recognizing this self-sabotage pattern, and best of luck in continuing to battle against it! I hope one or more of these strategies helps.

It takes a while, but it'll get easier to combat. It took me a while to realize what I was doing. A message a MFP friend has stuck with me since I realized what I was doing and I haven't done it since.

It defiantly gets better as you go along and I can recognize it now but I still have sabotage weeks where it seems no matter how hard I try, I still end up eating terribly. I get through them by reminding myself I haven't given up therefore I haven't failed. Now I can kind of pinpoint when they will happen, really busy stressful weeks at work, and I just kind of go with them. Sure I probably gain a pound that week but it gives me a break (because lets face it, its hard work to be healthy) and then I am ready for action and I usually can focus for a few more months really well. I think accepting that we are humans and will have those sabotage days/week helps keep them as treats which makes them easier to get over.

Oh, I can totally relate. When I eat clean, I don't crave anything bad. I can walk down the candy aisle at the pharmacy and not even care about any of it. But sometimes, I'll get these random "I'd like to eat some of that" thoughts. But I know I won't be able to stop myself. So I tell myself it's not an option.

And then again, if I fail, I pick myself up and say, "Well, that was once. It's not going to change the course of my life. Let's get back on track and let the past stay in the past." It really helps to think like that.

That, and reminding myself why I'm doing this!