Want to lose weight fast?

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Get food poisoning. No fancy diet or exercise plans required...just you, your toilet ( or yard), and a trash can. Why both? Well sometimes you'll have the unfortunate side effect of "coming out both ends". It's just temporary though! Your body will be empty and your every muscle will feel the burn after just a few hours!

Note: The above material was sarcasm. Please don 't voluntarily do this to yourself. I made noises I'd only heard previously at the zoo....

(Feel free to laugh at my expense or share your horror stories)

Replies

  • tryskinni
    tryskinni Posts: 50 Member
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    I dropped five pounds last time and remember thinking in the middle of it all NOT WORTH IT!!! Ugh, it's awful. I was so weak a few hours in that I remember thinking "I need to call someone to come help me... but I won't be able to crawl the 10ft to open my front door"
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
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    I tried that once. I got poisoned by my favorite Mexican dish ever-- chiles rellenos. I didn't eat them at all for YEARS after that. I think I'll stick to calorie counting and slow weight loss (knock on wood!)
  • viragoeap
    viragoeap Posts: 107
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    Oh yes, that's brought back memories! A dodgy egg mayo bap. Was sick for two days. I was really relieved that I could sit on the toilet and reach the wash basin to be sick in at the same time! I lost 7lbs the first day but soon put it back once I was well again.
  • JessiBelleW
    JessiBelleW Posts: 822 Member
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    I got food poisoning once - I threw up every 2 hours for the first 6 hours (midnight to 6am) apparently my puking was so loud that I woke my flatmates up each time. In between bouts I would lie in bed and shake til I drifted off. Around 6am my body had decided it was all out and I started to get thirsty - however my body couldn't even keep water down and I kept throwing up the water I was trying to drink. I finally got some medication from the pharmacy at around 11am and some rehydration things - it took two whole days to replace all the fluids I had puked up and I felt hungover the whole time.

    I was supposed to start two new part time jobs that week - needless to say I missed my first day for both of them
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
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    I once at a can of soup that went through me like a bullet..... for about 12 hours......
  • beattie1
    beattie1 Posts: 1,012 Member
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    It was a dose of norovirus that got me started on the weight loss track again this time. I got it in Feb 2012 and "lost" 9lbs in a week-end. Thought "I might as well use this flying start..." and went from there. So sometimes good things come out of bad ones.
    Edited to add - hope you're feeling better really soon!
  • debrag12
    debrag12 Posts: 1,071 Member
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    Get food poisoning. No fancy diet or exercise plans required...just you, your toilet ( or yard), and a trash can. Why both? Well sometimes you'll have the unfortunate side effect of "coming out both ends". It's just temporary though! Your body will be empty and your every muscle will feel the burn after just a few hours!

    Note: The above material was sarcasm. Please don 't voluntarily do this to yourself. I made noises I'd only heard previously at the zoo....

    (Feel free to laugh at my expense or share your horror stories)

    Oh yes, in Feb/Mar this year, how lovely!
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    lol! So true.

    I hope you feel better.

    My husband had food poisoning one time and he thought he was dying. He was just laying in the middle of the hallway with a blanket shaking after it came out both ends. It was terrible.
  • DancingMoosie
    DancingMoosie Posts: 8,619 Member
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    I had the norovirus 2 weeks ago. It helped me lose my last 3 pounds, and they've stayed off:)
  • mummamckay
    mummamckay Posts: 12 Member
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    :laugh:
  • SexyDexie
    SexyDexie Posts: 48 Member
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    Diverticulitis works much better. Just before Christmas 2011 I got hit with that and spent 5 days in hospital. Lost 20 pounds. I DID NOT manage to keep it off though.
  • 1two3four
    1two3four Posts: 413 Member
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    Oh I feel your pain... I hope you feel better, soon. I've had a few unfortunate bouts of food poisoning (always stop eating out at the places I get them...) I'm always camped out in the bathroom for the duration. Horrible experiences. I really hate those times it comes on in the middle of the night and you sit straight up in bed and it happens!

    However NOTHING compares to whatever stomach bug when through our house (and kids' elementary school) spring of 2012. It came and went in everyone else in a day or two. I had it for a week -- by the end I was terrified because I surely should have went in to see a Dr at the very lest but I didn't have insurance (stupid reason, I know) it was a scary, scary thing. I couldn't kick it and I couldn't keep fluid in for anything!
  • beattie1
    beattie1 Posts: 1,012 Member
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    Oh I feel your pain... I hope you feel better, soon. I've had a few unfortunate bouts of food poisoning (always stop eating out at the places I get them...) I'm always camped out in the bathroom for the duration. Horrible experiences. I really hate those times it comes on in the middle of the night and you sit straight up in bed and it happens!

    However NOTHING compares to whatever stomach bug when through our house (and kids' elementary school) spring of 2012. It came and went in everyone else in a day or two. I had it for a week -- by the end I was terrified because I surely should have went in to see a Dr at the very lest but I didn't have insurance (stupid reason, I know) it was a scary, scary thing. I couldn't kick it and I couldn't keep fluid in for anything!

    What you describe is classic norovirus - it rampages through schools. Nasty!
  • rAc_hEl
    rAc_hEl Posts: 246 Member
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    yep it sucks i lost 6 pounds in two days but it was pure hell and i gained it back ><
  • BigBrunette
    BigBrunette Posts: 1,543 Member
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    Oh, you poor thing! I hope you feel better. Definitely one of the least fun ways to lose weight.
  • emibrus1
    emibrus1 Posts: 59
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    Aha sounds like you guys have had fun times as well! The tornado sirens were going off while my head was buried in the toilet and I was just thinking, "LET IT END MY SUFFERING!"

    We started charting and wrote that I puked 25 times in 4 hours. I've had food poisoning before but never that violently! I think I got a hold of a bad piece of cantaloupe @_@
  • Pangea250
    Pangea250 Posts: 965 Member
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    Oh no! (But that was a funny post.) hope you've stopped making zoo noises!
  • cagefan
    cagefan Posts: 194 Member
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    my one and only stint with the lovely food poisoning was with a bad dish of chinese wwoowowzzaa coming out like lava in both ends wont eat it again EVER.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
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    Ecoli = thigh gap! Yay!