Every Single Flippin Time....
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Well my success story is still playing out right now, but I have done the same things you have so I'll share why this time is different. There wasn't some big booming breakthrough moment, nothing happened at all. I dug deep and got really honest with myself and discovered that I was afraid of success. If I became extraordinary, people would come to expect that from me. What if I'm a total fraud? What if I can't really sustain that? Dropping back and settling seemed, safer. Sadder, but safer.
I don't know if that's something you struggle with, but facing that fear changed everydamnthing for me, and some similar soul-searching might yield surprising revelations for you.:flowerforyou:
Whoa. This is hitting me where I live. Do you know me?
Right!?!?! Dr Phil ain't got nuttin on this group!
So true!!!!!! Yes. I feel like I've been accomplished in other areas of my life, just not this one. And why is that?? I got 2 Master's degrees in 3 years, so shouldn't I be able to tackle this too? Thanks for this thread!0 -
I stay motivated because I have gym friends who rely on me and I rely on them. if I do not
show up to a class they think something is wrong and the same when they do not.. Find some fit
friends and keep telling each other how great you look. You should love the feeling of being fit and happier than
before and say I am never going back.. Be afraid to go back.0 -
Me too. I completed Insanity the beginning of May.. I am now finding myself eating like crap (had not 1 but 2 bags of chips yesterday) again and missing workouts. I just ordered a new dvd through Netflix that I'm starting tonight. Hoping to shake it up a bit. Summer is too close for me to lose all the gains I've made
Hang in there everyone.0 -
It may be something none of us can answer for you. Are you looking at this as a temporary change? Something to do till you get to goal weight? For most of us, this isn't about just counting calories and exercising till we get to goal weight, it's about getting there and maintaining for life.
If you look at eating healthy and exercise as a lark that you do to lose weight, then sure, you're going to give up. It's boring, it's hard, why should I do it. But it's not a diet, it's not just a temporary thing. You quit a diet, you don't quit life.0 -
Didn't read any replies, so sorry if this is repeat advice...
Why not go in short spurts, rather than a marathon?
If you have 30 more lbs to lose, break it up and then take breaks in between. For example, work on 5-10 more lbs, then take a break for a week or a few weeks and eat at maintenance. Break up the big picture, into small little snap shots. That way the journey doesn't seem as long or impossible.0 -
I know exactly how you feel, I have now do it to myself three times, no more!
This time I'm doing 1 thing at a time instead of it all at once b/c apparently all at once burns me out faster and I fall off track real fast.
I lost 60lbs and have gained back all but 24 or it. I mean really all that hard work for nothing! It's so frustrating. I cant even tell you why I do this or what causes it. it's just bam I wake up one day and I'm like WTF happened??
This time I'm starting with getting my diet under control, no fast food, healthier choices, cutting out the sodas. I can have pizza but instead of 3 or 4 slices i have 1 or 2 and the more veges on it the better. It doesnt sound like much but it's working so far back down 6lbs in 10 days. My goal for the next 10 days is to start incorporating some light exercise in, instead of going strictly clean eating and full hardcore combat, and turbofire. im going to start with walking and see if i can get up to jogging. It will take me longer but i should be able to stick with it longer than just one day apparently throwing in the towel as I have in the past.0 -
I feel the same way! i'm at the halfway slump too. I am trying to push through it and I'm thinking I should change everything up. Maybe if I make it all as fresh, new and exciting as day 1 i'll get to my next goal with the same energy as before. This week i'm going to find new recipes, do a whole bunch of group fitness classes I haven't tried before and get out of my comfort zone again. I think it all comes down to being honest with ourselves, and remembering to re-evaluate and re-energise every now and again, i hope it works. Thought i'd share just incase anyone likes the idea for themselves
xo0 -
Relationships do change...I've had people say - you looked better before- or- I didn't notice that you lost weight-. Seriously, THAT'S a buzz kill when you worked so hard. And maintaining is really the hardest part. There is something to the idea of beginning to eat like you intend to eat. I don't think that means Whoppers and FF every night, but to look for ways to use your real life and your relationship to food that goes into your body. We love ice cream....and so I bought a ice cream maker. I control the amount of sugar...no high fructose corn syrup and I can use whole milk from the dairy...no additives. It's fresh...doesn't cost as much as you might think. Things like that. Stay away from the processed foods because - I believe - that there's almost an addictive aspect to them. Find a passion and build on it....I do yoga every day. Some people run...or bike...or go to the gym. And treat yourself occasionally too. It does take time and effort. Good luck! We're here for you!0
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I'm so glad I read this thread! I've just started a month ago and am so happy about the 10 pounds I've lost... I saw a friend last week who has lost almost as much weight as I have yet to lose. I was excited to share my loss with her and she said, "Yeah, but the trick is to sustain that for two or three years." Gee, thanks Jenn - way to support me! So I said, "Well, if you can do it, I can do it too!" She didn't realize it, but boy did that motivate me... I don't want to have to see her again next time & have her be right!0
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It may be something none of us can answer for you. Are you looking at this as a temporary change? Something to do till you get to goal weight? For most of us, this isn't about just counting calories and exercising till we get to goal weight, it's about getting there and maintaining for life.
If you look at eating healthy and exercise as a lark that you do to lose weight, then sure, you're going to give up. It's boring, it's hard, why should I do it. But it's not a diet, it's not just a temporary thing. You quit a diet, you don't quit life.0 -
I feel like that as well. I have only lost 22lbs and I just feel like blahhhhhhhhhh. But we can motivate each other. I am trying not to give up.0
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I'm so glad I read this thread! I've just started a month ago and am so happy about the 10 pounds I've lost... I saw a friend last week who has lost almost as much weight as I have yet to lose. I was excited to share my loss with her and she said, "Yeah, but the trick is to sustain that for two or three years." Gee, thanks Jenn - way to support me! So I said, "Well, if you can do it, I can do it too!" She didn't realize it, but boy did that motivate me... I don't want to have to see her again next time & have her be right!0
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I hit a plateau for over a month and started to get discouraged, what I did was look back at my before pictures…seeing the difference I’ve made in the last 5 months made me realize
1. All the hard work is worth the effort
2. I did NOT want to go back to how I was before.
Also I started going to the stores and trying on clothes & outfits I really liked…since I love to shop & one of my biggest goals is to wear regular size clothes (not plus size) it motivated me to keep working hard so I could either fit in those outfits I tried on or they would look better on me.
Yesterday I actually bought a pair of regular size 14 pants (yes that’s still big to many but compared to the size 20W I was wearing in January that is a big deal for me) They fit a little snug, but now they are hanging in my room on the closet door so I see them every day I want to wear those pants!!
I think it goes back to finding what’s important to YOU!! Why did you start to get healthier in the first place, reassess your goals and set new ones!
Best of luck!! :flowerforyou:0 -
Didn't read any replies, so sorry if this is repeat advice...
Why not go in short spurts, rather than a marathon?
If you have 30 more lbs to lose, break it up and then take breaks in between. For example, work on 5-10 more lbs, then take a break for a week or a few weeks and eat at maintenance. Break up the big picture, into small little snap shots. That way the journey doesn't seem as long or impossible.0 -
I think that it far easier to fall out of a routine, then to stay in one. I think that it is totally natural to have spurts of energy and then have it kind of, taper off. You may need to switch up your routine a little and mix it up to keep it fresh. Keep reading motivational posts, or even get a partner at the gym or someone that can meet you to work out so that you feel more compelled to show up. You have come a long ways and you can certainly keep it up! Just keep pushing forward. You already know that the rewards are phenomenal. Good luck and keep up the hard work0
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Every three or four months I get tired of eating at a deficit, so I take a break for a couple of weeks and eat at maintenance (this usually coincides with illness or vacation...sometime I'm not working out as much as usual). Afterward, I am ready to get back to business! I don't gain fat during my break because I don't eat above maintenance. The psychological and physiological break is really welcome....and since I do it intentionally, there's no danger of feeling like I've already screwed up and then giving up.0
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Just hit the reset button. You cannot go back and fix what happened. You can just change now what you're doing. Also know you are capable of achieving what you want to and we are all capable of amazing things! Stay positive and start planning today of what you're going to do differently and stick to it. We are not perfect. I hoped by now I'd be down closer to 100 lbs, but unfortunately that did not happen. I just pick myself up, dust off and get going! Good luck to you!0
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Sometimes its good to build in a week of "food vacation", don't be awful, but let yourself indulge just a bit. I say build it in as part of the routine, like "two months good, one week off" That way there is a limit. You know you have to get back on the wagon, but hopefully it will both motivate you and keep you from getting bored or demotivated. Plus, this can help jumpstart weight loss again. I just took a carb vacation- I didnt watch them for a week. Now I'll g o back to two months of c.100g carbs, my body normally responds by losing weight faster for a time. It helps stop plateaus.
I also enjoy changing things up. If I get bored weight lifting, I go back to belly dancing or zumba, or kayaking. Class situations are particularly helpful because someone will notice if you arent there, and if you are cheap like me then I know if I PAY for something I'll go. I hate wasting money. But, even if you cant afford/have time for a class, you can find a lot of those types of workouts or lessons on youtube, vimeo, etc. Change things up, keep it fresh, do somethign with friends instead. If you make it an adventure its not so tiring, its not a pattern.
And dont exclude meditation or strolls in the park just because its not "exercise." These type of stress reliefs are really helpful.
And sometimes...you just have to do it. You have to persevere. What helps me is this "checklist" that someone made me create when I started. I thought it was some hippy-**** at first, but its actually been great. First write down all the reasons you want to lose weight, be reallllly honest, write what you are looking forward to, and then write down your success story as though you've already done it, and write down the top ten thigns that are best now that your goal has been met. Honestly, reading my "future" top ten as though I've already done it, and reading my success story as though I've already completed it, really breaks down a mental barrier for me. It seems so much more doable.
Good luck!0 -
Becky, my sweet friend, you got this! We are here to support you and to try to motivate you - remember how much you were loving the boxing, maybe look into similar classes but try a kickboxing class to mix things up a bit and make your routine feel fresh again???
I was getting fed up of sitting on my exercise bike in the spare room, so the spare room door got closed and the exercise bike lay idle, one of my lovely MFP friends asked if I had gotten rid of my exercise bike because I wasn't posting burns any more, that little reminder was enough to make me open the door of the spare room again. Still boring... so I decided to look in the local ads online and bought a second-hand mountain bike, you know the rest, you mocked my first bicycle burn because it was too short a ride BUT I was overjoyed to have been out and done it. I was out in the fresh air on my bike Thursday, Friday and Sunday and loved every second. It's still "new" and no doubt I will get fed-up with that too eventually but the mixing things up and adding something new has really helped with my motivation.
You know the healthy foods you enjoy (and sadly, we both know Scottish shortbread and ultimate burgers can't be on that list as often as we would like!) Time to get some shopping in, fill the cupboards with healthy options and the occasional wee treat, we are none of us perfect 100% of the time. I know you can get to 99.9% without much effort at all, can I tag along for the ride?
EDIT - My wonderful friend Becky has a wicked sense of humour, when I say she mocked my cycle ride, I was mocking it even more, I thought I had done about 10 miles but Mapometer put me right - 4.6 miles was pretty poor!! :laugh:0 -
It is really amazing to hear the same stories that I am experiencing... just this morning I was telling myself to just get use to being 185. I too lost 60lbs. But my gut is still here. I look to MFP for motivation and focus, and for sharing similar stories. All of your words have really resonated with me... geesh, I am all veclemt (spelling...?)
Anyway THANK YOU for this post. It is as if I wrote it. I promise myself to not quit, TO SEE WHAT THE NEW ME IS LIKE...
thank you all for your honesty and your stories... greatly appreciated!!!
Marion0 -
Becky, my sweet friend, you got this! We are here to support you and to try to motivate you - remember how much you were loving the boxing, maybe look into similar classes but try a kickboxing class to mix things up a bit and make your routine feel fresh again???
I was getting fed up of sitting on my exercise bike in the spare room, so the spare room door got closed and the exercise bike lay idle, one of my lovely MFP friends asked if I had gotten rid of my exercise bike because I wasn't posting burns any more, that little reminder was enough to make me open the door of the spare room again. Still boring... so I decided to look in the local ads online and bought a second-hand mountain bike, you know the rest, you mocked my first bicycle burn because it was too short a ride BUT I was overjoyed to have been out and done it. I was out in the fresh air on my bike Thursday, Friday and Sunday and loved every second. It's still "new" and no doubt I will get fed-up with that too eventually but the mixing things up and adding something new has really helped with my motivation.
You know the healthy foods you enjoy (and sadly, we both know Scottish shortbread and ultimate burgers can't be on that list as often as we would like!) Time to get some shopping in, fill the cupboards with healthy options and the occasional wee treat, we are none of us perfect 100% of the time. I know you can get to 99.9% without much effort at all, can I tag along for the ride?
Lesley - Tag along?? I couldn't do this without you! xoxo :flowerforyou:0 -
I haven't gotten to this point yet, but I know I will. My therapist told me something that really made sense to me. Most people who have an eating disorder or weight problems all suffer from some sort of anxiety. I know I do. When something comes along that I've never done before and don't know how it will end up I get anxious. This sometimes prevents from doing that one thing. I've never been skinny. Been overweight my entire life. For me it is the fear of what will I be like at a lower weight? How will I look? It's the unknown that scares me.0
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For me it is more of a fear....fear of what kind of person I will become, will I be like one of those girls that feels they need to flaunt their bodies, will I look down on others that are overweight, basically will I get stuck on myself. These are traits I have seen in so many girls and women that I don't want to become like that. My second fear is that my relationship with my husband will go downhill. I know that it wont but he has had so many heartbreaks that on several occasions he has made comments about loving me the way I am. He has encouraged me through the weight I have lost but at the same time has made comments about me not needing to lose that much more. "He likes my thighs", "where are you going to lose 30 more lbs from" " if you lose 30 more how are you going to stay as strong as you are now", these are just a few of the comments he makes that send me wondering if I am doing the right thing. I know he is not making them to hurt me, its more of an insecurity from him thinking I will find someone better if I look better. I have reassured him that my purpose of losing weight is not to go out and find a buff guy.
But I think for me it just boils down to fear. I have to keep reminding myself of my reasons for losing weight. I am doing this for my family and for me. I have seizures in my sleep and the doctors put me on a CPAP thinking that it may be getting worse due to apnea. The doctor said I probably wont need it if I lose weight. I also have a teenager who is Type 1 diabetic and I want to show him that you don't have to overload on carbs to get satisfied. He has a good metabolism now but I worry about what is going to happen when he gets older and his metabolism slows down. I also have an 18 year old that is going to boot camp in less than a month and he has asked me on a couple of occasions to go running with him, I couldn't do it because I couldn't keep up. I don't want this to continue. My reasons for doing it outweigh my reasons for not doing it.
Sit down and list what your reasons are and make sure they are greater than reasons for not. I have mine hung on my refrigerator so that I am reminded every time I want that extra thing to eat. It has helped me.0 -
I haven't gotten to this point yet, but I know I will. My therapist told me something that really made sense to me. Most people who have an eating disorder or weight problems all suffer from some sort of anxiety. I know I do. When something comes along that I've never done before and don't know how it will end up I get anxious. This sometimes prevents from doing that one thing. I've never been skinny. Been overweight my entire life. For me it is the fear of what will I be like at a lower weight? How will I look? It's the unknown that scares me.0
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I wish there was a magic motivation wand I could wave over everyone.
Most of my motivation comes from within. Now I am not as gung ho as I was when I first started, but knowing this is for life, not a diet, helps me keep things in perspective. Everything is pretty much habit now.... routine . I upped my calories by 100 and haven't lost any weight since April 9th......... I even GAINED three pounds. But this morning I weighed myself and that 3 pounds is finally gone. It's just patience.
No matter what, you can just pick up where you left off. That's the great thing about losing weight.0 -
I know I'm not alone in this but my question is....How did you get past it? How did you dust yourself off and keep going?
That is the trick, eh? How do we keep ourselves on track. Well, first we have to accept the journey is not going to be linear. We won't ALWAYS want to track. there will be days here and there, or maybe even weeks during vacations of stress times we just don't need to think about it. The key is, that we make the better choices the majority of the time. By doing so we continue to break our old habits. This is simply making those better choices even wehn we don't feel like it or want to. Eventually we break through again and start feeling like we are on track.
Good luck!0 -
So many great comments! And obviously we have all gotten to this point so I guess the first realization is to see how normal it is in our weight loss journey. I myself have always fallen victim of this and have over the years figured out what works for me and of course what works for me doens't always work for everyone.
1. I have learned to not beat myself up. Givemyself a break, take a week off and really not feel bad about it. But give yourself a date where all the crap disappears and dedication begins. For me, having a week of eating what I like, not counting calories, not being obsessed with my runs or the gym. My brain is oly capable of doing that for so l0ong before it too needs a break.
2. be okay with a few pounds of weight gain. It is going to happen for the rest of your life. What are you never going to go on vacation again? never eat french fries again? (Yes, I LOVE french fries!!!) It's called lifeand it is worth living, so yes, I want to be able to enjoy those french fries without feeling horrible about it!
3. Go jeans or bathing suit shopping. Works everytime, once I am in that mirror in a bikini seeing all side sof me, I am usually super motivated for the next week.
4. This one seems odd but I am sure you can all relate. I have that one person in my world that always puts down what I do. Whether I eat wrong, or exercise wrong or prepare my food wrong. They are the polar opposite. Or they have some fad diet of their own they are trying to push on you. Maybe they are the person who isalways one step ahead of you or the person who is always challenging you. Have a conversation with them. you knowthe conversation which you ALWAYS avoid? I find these people to motivate me even more. When someone tells me that I am never going to lose weight doing what I know works for my body I am always recharged
5. Watvh Rudy, Rocky, motivational viedos on youtube. Read posters, blogs, browse through websites. My favorite of course is
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STp1UtMrKR4 (if youhave never seen it, worth the time)
I am not sure about fear, is it the fear that we will never get there? Is it easier to always be fighting the fight? Possibly. I have always had to work hard at losing the weight. I have kept off 45 pounds for the past ten years. I still have 20 to go. I have almost reached my goal 6 times. The last twenty are the hardest to achieve. Maybe I'll get there, maybe I won't. but what I do know is this. I love who I am. I love my body for what it is capable of, even if it is 20 pounds heavier than it should be. My body allows me to run marathons, to get out of bed every day and spin, box, run, jump, and do whatever I ask of it. At the end of the day, that has been the hardest lesson to learn in my journey.0 -
BUMPING...because I experience the SAME thing!!!0
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The overwhelming struggle with guilt outweighs my struggle with eating right and being healthy. I don't want to have to do it all over again and again and again, like I always did in the past. Making the right change for good is much easier...and it's taken me a long time to realize that and I will always struggle, but it's the only way for me now!0
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I know I'm not alone in this but my question is....How did you get past it? How did you dust yourself off and keep going? Intellectually, I know the right things to do but something in me isn't clicking right now and it's both irritating and scaring me. If you could help share your breakthrough to success story, it may help me see something I'm missing & perhaps help others who can relate as well.
Thanks for listening,
Becky
This is my biggest fear! ...Well Junebugs are my biggest fear but this comes right after.
I got to such an unbelievable weight that I often wonder/worry about how I got there. I remember long stretches of activity and eating right in my past life but I can't pinpoint what brought that on, and more scary - I can't pinpoint what stopped that.
That is the scary part - every day or at least every couple of days I actually worry about what if I fall off track again tomorrow... What if whatever triggers me falling off happens tomorrow.
I do a good job of putting that to the back of my mind, but it is always kind of present.
This is now becoming one of my longer, more successful and more intense stretches of a new lifetstyle - as the time continues to build I find the most helpful things i have done are..
1. Accountability/Support - Telling people about my weight loss. I waited unti I lost 75lbs because I was scared of hyping it up but I find it a lot more difficult to fall off track when so many people know I am working on it. People's support also helps. I think MFP is great for this too when you use the social aspect of it (something I am beginning to do).
I am also lucky enough to be doing this weight loss with my brother - having a "weight loss" buddy is super effective in keeping you on track.
2. Motivation - Staying motivated is a personal thing of course. Different people are motivated by different things. Find out what motivates you and study the **** out of it. For me some things that helped:
- Programming calendar app with motivational quotes and affirmations that pop up a couple times a day.
- Find motivating people and follow them. For me that includes people like Eric Thomas who I watch on Youtube regularly. CT Fletcher is an entirely different type of motivation but he is another guy who's videos I watch.
- Success Stories - I regularly check the forums here for them, I check reddit's progress pics and loseit subreddits. I check daily.
- Motivational Outfit - I just got into a shirt and hoodie three sizes smaller than my size when I started. I had bought it originally and hung it on my WALL in my office until I fit it. The good news Is I get to buy another one now.
3. Writing down Goals/Success - breaking my weight loss down into incremental goals helps a lot. In fact just having goals written down in general helps me a lot. I also do a morning todo list for work each day - I now incorporate my fitness/lifestyle todos as well.
Track your success too! MFP is good for that - it will let you track your weight and measurements. Looking at a report that has a steadily falling chart is pretty damn motivating...unless it is your retirement funds. Also - track your non scale victories! Sounds corny I know - but I keep a note in Evernote of my NSVs and they are quite motivating to check out when feeling down.
The above three things have helped me "so far" - and I would rank their personal importance in the same order as above.
Will they be enough to carry me through - I hope so LOL I believe they will tho - maybe that will make all the difference.
Good luck!0
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