When you get "gift" for lifting.

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Zehornet
Zehornet Posts: 14 Member
in Motivation and Support
I started lifting around February or so.
I'm doing alright so far, losing the weight, drudging through the cardio. I do love lifting though - that feeling of engaging your whole body, that notion of afterburn, the taut muscles etc :) In fact, I do honestly believe that if it weren't for lifting I might have shelved exercise and stuck to calorie counting.

What I can't deal with is the sort of poo you start hearing from people when they realize you lift: that you bulk up, that you get masculine appearance, that you get too much muscle (??), that its unattractive etc.

My mum is the worst offender, she had already given me doodie when I lifted for about a month or so a few years ago. It annoys me so much! I cant even claim that I am doing it because I feel good and healthy, because then she says "oh yeah, so did I / only one day I looked at myself and I didnt like what I saw, and I could throw myself away."

I MEAN REALLY???

This pisses me off.

"First Im fat and unloveable , and my boyfriend is going to dump me at any minute because my thighs rub!" , passing by "We are all just concerned for your health" to "Im glad you are so dedicated, but do you really need all that muscle in the wrong place". NEVERMIND the weight loss, nevermind that Im adding years to my life and found a hobby both me and my dude enjoy, nevermind that Im doing much better now than at the start of the year. IT'S NEVER ENOUGH!

My relationship with my mum is already on the rocks, and this sort of **** was what landed me on the heavy size of the scale to begin with. No one seems concerned with what I want: I DON'T MIND THE "MASCULINE" ( society perception says hi), IN FACT, I SEEK IT. Honestly, its like its never enough. I have short hair (and no, it is NOT ALWAYS a telltale mark of being butch/lesbian/trans , ITS A HAIRCUT), I have a variety of clothes ranging from pink pink to LARGE SHIRTS and I want to exist. Fook sake.

Sorry for the rambling, its more of a rant at work than anything.

Replies

  • Pearsquared
    Pearsquared Posts: 1,656 Member
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    I hate that. Do they not even realize how much dedication female body builders have to have in order to gain muscle like they do? Most women will not be like that - instead, they'll have lean, toned arms and abs that all those women who are doing millions of reps will baby weights are only dreaming of.

    In other words, you go girl.
  • Zehornet
    Zehornet Posts: 14 Member
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    I have told her that already - that you need to be at caloric surplus, that you need protein, dedication, time. I had told her that her notion is complete poppycock, but alas. There is noone more blind that the guy who doesnt want to see : /
  • lorrm
    lorrm Posts: 9 Member
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    Try to rise above it - give it time, they will be asking you for tips & advise on how to get your body very soon!!

    I used to get defensive when people (friends) commented on my weight training - now I just say 'do I look like I'm getting big and bulky? Can you let me know when I start looking like Arnie?' I couldn't care less what they say - I'm doing this for me! Not them!!
    Since starting weight training I've met loads of great guys & girls that train and they've become really good friends - they "get it" more.
  • Zehornet
    Zehornet Posts: 14 Member
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    I know what you mean. I just wish the crap wasn't coming from close family though - its always easy to ignore people you dont care about. I just wish they could be happy for me, for once, without all the second guessing and crap comments. Too much to ask for! Luckily my guy is my rock through all of this, my weights buddy and my real-life embodiment of MFP :P
  • corsayre8
    corsayre8 Posts: 551 Member
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    Umm, why do you even have to tell her that you are lifting? Does she follow you to the gym?

    My weight loss and exercise are mine, for me. And I don't feel the need to talk about them with most people.

    You are perfectly capable of refraining from engaging in those conversations.
  • Zehornet
    Zehornet Posts: 14 Member
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    Thats a very good question. I guess Im still trying to make conversation and keep her somewhat included in my life : / The problem is that she tends to find a problem in everything about me, if I avoided all touchy topics we would honestly have nothing to bond about.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    I clicked on your profile expecting to see you in being in your early 20s, but you aren't. You are old enough that you shouldn't care what your mother says. Tell her "thank you for your concern" and ignore. I know she's your mom, but as you said, her opinions have negatively effected you in the past, time to learn to ignore. Don't argue, don't justify, just ignore, change the subject whatever.
  • socioseguro
    socioseguro Posts: 1,679 Member
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    First of all, Congratulations in your weight lifting.
    I weight lift myself and it is the highlight of my day. I sincerely believe the Fountain of Youth is in the weight lift area.

    As far as other people opinions, you just have to let them be. You can not Boil the Ocean nor Resolve World Hunger. To each its own.

    Please let them go their own merry way and "vaya con Dios".

    Good luck in your journey
  • Zehornet
    Zehornet Posts: 14 Member
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    Looks like I will have to stick to the time-proven solution then. It's sad, so sad. Thanks for listening though!
  • HeidiMightyRawr
    HeidiMightyRawr Posts: 3,343 Member
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    Sounds like you need to lift, not tell her (or anyone who's negative) about it, and let the results speak for themselves. When people start telling you how great you look, and asking for your "secret" you can tell them it's by lifting massive man weights! :laugh:

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