People think I'm crazy!

oX_Vanessa_Xo
oX_Vanessa_Xo Posts: 478
in Motivation and Support
Currently its 24 c which would be 75 f for americans, with 78% humidity. Was even hotter yesterday.
I CANNOT leave my house without putting a hoody on. I feel like I would rather people say omg why is she wearing a sweater? Instead of omg, she should not be wearing that. My family and friends yell at me, even bargain with me to take my hoody off, but I just am too uncomfortable without it. I have no idea how to dress up my body so I'd rather cover it up.
I was in my backyard yesterday wearing a halter top, setting up the pool, one of my neighbors came into the back yard and I immediately went inside a threw my hoody on. I tried to wear a shirt with no sweater, but I just couldn't, I felt huge everytime I walked passed a store window and saw myself.
How can I get over this? It's going to get SO much hotter and I don't want to spend the whole summer hiding in sweats and my husbands xxl shirts. And its not easy for me to say to myself "don't worry about what other people think" I just can't :S

Replies

  • Coyoteldy
    Coyoteldy Posts: 219 Member
    You need to reset how you are treating yourself and what you are saying about yourself internally. YOU are lovely, YOU are beautiful and YOU can wear anything you damn well please. I know how it is...I don't think you are crazy at all...just afraid of what others think.. the only person that matters is YOU.. someone is ALWAYS going to have something negative to say..no matter how you dress.. no matter how much I change things someone always has to rain on it for some reason only they know...took me a long time but I now simply don't care what they say.. I have my own agenda for my health.. HANG IN THERE and change it one step at a time...
  • oX_Vanessa_Xo
    oX_Vanessa_Xo Posts: 478
    I get that, and I have people tell me that often... but most of these same people talk so much *kitten* about other people so I know they are most likey talking about me too. I don't have a switch I can flick and right away start feeling better about myself. I won't even wear capris because I think my feet are gross (all feet are gross) and I don't want to wear flip flops.so im always in jeans and runners.

    I just feel like if I actually wear a tank top in this disgusting heat, people will say oh wow, she really did put on the weight eh?

    I hope I get over this soon because man it sucks :(
  • RyanMastrosimone
    RyanMastrosimone Posts: 18
    I'm the same way. I wear t-shirts, but I won't wear tank tops or shorts out of the house at all. I would rather sweat than have people be able to see something... unflattering.
  • rob1976
    rob1976 Posts: 1,328 Member
    You have no reason to hide anything. I'd hit it...
  • SmartAlec03211988
    SmartAlec03211988 Posts: 1,896 Member
    I would suggest you talk to a therapist. I suspect there is more than just a rock bottom self esteem here. The anecdote with the neighbor is very telling - you are envisioning and thinking things about yourself and other people that are simply not fact.

    Please, get help.
  • MSam1205
    MSam1205 Posts: 439 Member
    So... do you wear the hoodie in the pool? I'm not being snide, I just don't quite get it. the pic you're using shows a bikini top, and your ticker shows you more than halfway to your goal. If I were in your spot, I'd be flaunting it on the rooftop. :bigsmile:

    Not sure of your age range, but I do know that the older I have gotten, the less I give a f*** what people think of me and my looks. I'm not on here for them, I'm on here for me and to be around longer for my loved ones.

    and it could very well be that they are talking about how good you are looking!! I've heard that from a number of my MFP friends who thought the folks at the gym were snickering,when in fact they were admiring the hard work that was being put forth:drinker:

    If the heat doesn't push you into lighter clothing, you may need to find someone to talk it through with. Might be something else bothering you that projects itself in the clothing issue. Good luck
  • oX_Vanessa_Xo
    oX_Vanessa_Xo Posts: 478
    So... do you wear the hoodie in the pool? I'm not being snide, I just don't quite get it. the pic you're using shows a bikini top, and your ticker shows you more than halfway to your goal. If I were in your spot, I'd be flaunting it on the rooftop. :bigsmile:

    Not sure of your age range, but I do know that the older I have gotten, the less I give a f*** what people think of me and my looks. I'm not on here for them, I'm on here for me and to be around longer for my loved ones.

    and it could very well be that they are talking about how good you are looking!! I've heard that from a number of my MFP friends who thought the folks at the gym were snickering,when in fact they were admiring the hard work that was being put forth:drinker:

    If the heat doesn't push you into lighter clothing, you may need to find someone to talk it through with. Might be something else bothering you that projects itself in the clothing issue. Good luck


    I haven't been in a pool in gawd I dont know how many years, I sit in a lawn chair and watch my kids play.
    My profile photo is 2 yrs ago , before I put I 50 lbs.
    And my ticker is set to my first goal, after that I have another 40 lbs to go... I should change my ticker.
  • nicola1141
    nicola1141 Posts: 613 Member
    Can you splurge for a session with a stylist or personal shopper? Someone who can really work with you to teach you how to dress your body? (Or if not, do you have a friend who you trust to help teach you?) Spending a full day shopping and trying on LOADS of clothes to really find the ones that work best. I know it sounds like torture to a lot of people, but if you do it once, really learn how to look at yourself in the change room mirror in clothes and try to look at yourself properly to see what fits, you might find that if you work at it you can find clothes you enjoy wearing other than a hoodie?
  • oX_Vanessa_Xo
    oX_Vanessa_Xo Posts: 478
    Can you splurge for a session with a stylist or personal shopper? Someone who can really work with you to teach you how to dress your body? (Or if not, do you have a friend who you trust to help teach you?) Spending a full day shopping and trying on LOADS of clothes to really find the ones that work best. I know it sounds like torture to a lot of people, but if you do it once, really learn how to look at yourself in the change room mirror in clothes and try to look at yourself properly to see what fits, you might find that if you work at it you can find clothes you enjoy wearing other than a hoodie?

    That's a pretty good idea. I just wish I has the extra money for that kind of thing.
    I know I'll get better once I lose more weight.
  • pseudomuffin
    pseudomuffin Posts: 1,058 Member
    I live in Texas and I'm basically the same way. I can't go outside without covering my arms up, so hoodies or cardigans in the summer it is. I did buy some half sleeve, cropped cardigans last summer and they help a lot but I still feel self conscious about my arms. Honestly, if I'm still this self conscious about them after I meet my goal weight I'll probably just have surgery.
  • dbm037
    dbm037 Posts: 125 Member
    love yourself:heart:

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