Who Defines You?

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lyndsloo
lyndsloo Posts: 242
in Success Stories
Who defines me?

In my short 23 years of life, strangers, friends, and even family members have said I am:

Ugly
Awkward
Worthless
Pretty in the face, but not anywhere else
Chubby
Smart and beautiful on the inside, but…
Huge
Cute, but fat

For too long, I let their hurtful, belittling, bitter remarks control how I define myself, and only now, after months of developing a new self-image do I understand that, although, yes, I was certainly overweight, out of shape, and perhaps even FAT (and still am), I should not let others decide what makes me, me. Only I do that.

So from now on, I define myself as:
Kind
Caring
Physically active
Energetic
Determined
Giddy
Funny
Worthy
Smart and beautiful on the inside and outside
Powerful
Loving
　
Another MFP member, Tami Shumate, who has lost a tremendous amount of weight and has been a loving mentor and inspirational friend to me for many months, once said, “The next 18 months are going to go by anyway, so why not be doing the right thing and make the healthy choices?” Her words really rang true in my life. I allowed others to define my own thoughts, and worst of all, I believed them. Life is going to go by no matter what. You choose how you live it.

Make a pact with yourself today promising that you will no longer let other people’s choices or remarks interfere with or influence who you are. Certainly, there are going to be days where you want to beat yourself down or give up, but just remember this…tomorrow is going to come, whether you stop or keep going. Choose the latter, and KEEP GOING!
　
Who defines you? A stranger? Food? Or, you?

Replies

  • raelbee
    raelbee Posts: 219
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    This is really beautiful and inspirational. And so are you :)
  • michlingle
    michlingle Posts: 797 Member
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    I'm finding a comment that still haunts me from my childhood....mediocre.. My sister used to tell me that I'll never be more than mediocre...she must've learned a new word at school or something and it has haunted me ever since. I hear it in my head often throughout the day when I'm not super busy, but having a slower type day. I hate hearing the word in my head and want to be rid of it forever!!!! I wouldn't say it defines me, because on outward appearances/accomplishments I guess I'm not. But it pisses me off that I let it still bother me today and I do find myself calling myself mediocre...it sucks.
  • fun_mom
    fun_mom Posts: 54
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    Your message resonates with me because I seem to judge myself just as harshly as you have been judged. God works in mysterious ways as I was feeling really down and low energy today and reading this reminded me why I'm working so hard. Thank you and you should be proud of yourself and your insight at such a young age. Your also a very pretty girl with a very bright and positive future ahead of you!!!
  • lisab513
    lisab513 Posts: 9 Member
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    This was such a beautiful story and very eye opening for me. Thank u for sharing this with us...and yes YOU are beautiful on the inside and out! Keep shining sweetie! Hugs to you! ;)
  • jessudd
    jessudd Posts: 133 Member
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    Beautiful--thanks for sharing! =D
  • tcac
    tcac Posts: 211 Member
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    Very beautiful, you have a real gift for words. We can feel your pain, then hope and now freedom. I like being defined by God who says I am loved. I have great worth, and so do you.
    linda
  • JUSTFORME2010
    JUSTFORME2010 Posts: 125 Member
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    This was a very special thing to share with us. I know I have been called many of those bad things and when someone gives you a good one I just shrug it off like it isnt as important.

    One of my favorite lines from a movie is Pretty Woman when Julia Roberts says "did you ever notice the bad things are easier to believe".

    The only way to be what you want is to believe you are... If there are people that cant believe with you then they need to go.

    Thanks again
    Debbie
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    Beautiful Lindsey
    Becca xo
  • zazaz
    zazaz Posts: 36
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    Thank you for sharing with us!
  • LainMac
    LainMac Posts: 412 Member
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    Strong words by a strong lady.
  • Alyshe
    Alyshe Posts: 509 Member
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    Who defines me?

    In my short 23 years of life, strangers, friends, and even family members have said I am:

    Ugly
    Awkward
    Worthless
    Pretty in the face, but not anywhere else
    Chubby
    Smart and beautiful on the inside, but…
    Huge
    Cute, but fat

    For too long, I let their hurtful, belittling, bitter remarks control how I define myself, and only now, after months of developing a new self-image do I understand that, although, yes, I was certainly overweight, out of shape, and perhaps even FAT (and still am), I should not let others decide what makes me, me. Only I do that.

    So from now on, I define myself as:
    Kind
    Caring
    Physically active
    Energetic
    Determined
    Giddy
    Funny
    Worthy
    Smart and beautiful on the inside and outside
    Powerful
    Loving
    　
    Love your post. You forgot a few words that describes you..inspiring and brave How true it is that we let other define who we are. And it eats us up inside. I have learned and experienced so much with in my 25 years of life I feel so much older than people my age. So I don't get along with most people my age. I have been climbing my own latley to become the person that I am. Its not easy at all. Because you learn that there are so many people that will not be there when you fall. People that should be there wont. Others you my think are your friend will watch you fall but at the bottem there someone, God and yourself will always be there to catch before you hit the ground. I hope you clime you mt to the top chica.My your goals in life then reach them. I wish you the best of luck.
  • aschrader7
    aschrader7 Posts: 53
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    Great story. Believe in yourself. Don't pay attention to the naysayers, they have nothing else better to do. They depend on hurting other people to make them happy which is beyond shallow. Keep it up!
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    Lovely. That is what I saw when I looked at your picture.....and what I felt when I read your words.

    You are Lovely


    Long ago I would call myself a fat azz beech. So others started to call me some mixture of those words. One night I was praying and He told me He did not think I was any of those things, and I should stop calling His child those names.

    Once I stopped, and then did not allow anyone else to use hurtful words to describe me, I became a loving, friendly, caring person......OH wait..........I already WAS that person........now I believe it!!

    God Bless you.........I needed to hear your words (and your quote on your profile-as our office is being closed and after 17 yrs of faithful service I am to be moved 300 miles away, or find a new job.......oh feet please point in the right direction!!)

    :flowerforyou: Jeannie
  • eriny
    eriny Posts: 1,509 Member
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    you my dear are beautiful !! :flowerforyou:

    as for me it is I .......then my wife, da boyz and i feel blessed to have found this site and the great people on here name a few no order as they are great !!! :heart: pamtastic :love: arewethereyet :love: and my p90x mentor sandy :love: ladies THANK YOU :flowerforyou:
  • lyndsloo
    lyndsloo Posts: 242
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    It's amazing how words hang on forever. I don't think people realize what they're saying sometimes. Thank you for all of your kind words! :) All of you are so amazing too!
  • katefor3
    katefor3 Posts: 10 Member
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    I know how you feel, often times people say things and they dont even realize what Exactly they are saying and what their words Mean! I get alot of this from family members myself. Most of my friends are in the same boat as me, but I have had a friend Discourage me from losing weight while she herself is at least 50 lbs lighter than me and keeps claiming she needs to lose weight.lol Thanks for posting that message, I'm really happy for you that you have found a way to put all those people and their opinions behind you. I am working on doing the same. =)

    Lots of luck to you! Keep up the great work!
    Kate.

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