A trip to Costco

PJilly
PJilly Posts: 22,008 Member
edited September 21 in Chit-Chat
Yesterday, I was at my local Costco buying a large bag of Purina Dog Chow for my loyal pet, Jake the Wonder Dog, and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, so it works well, and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle, and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore.

Replies

  • cdsledge09
    cdsledge09 Posts: 167 Member
    OMG!!! That is hillarious!! :laugh: :laugh:
  • sweetn3ss
    sweetn3ss Posts: 341 Member
    OMG that was hilarious. Thank you I needed that laugh
  • beesareyellow
    beesareyellow Posts: 335 Member
    That cracked me up! Fell out of my chair laughing. Thanks!!!!!!
  • Lisa0711
    Lisa0711 Posts: 1,405 Member
    LOL I would have loved to been there and saw that!
  • Christie23
    Christie23 Posts: 357 Member
    You are my hero. :laugh:
  • antiadipose
    antiadipose Posts: 447
    LOL!!!!!! if i were there i think id literally pee my pants haha
  • Rhaeven
    Rhaeven Posts: 123 Member
    well done!!! OMG too dang funny!!!
  • summerblunden
    summerblunden Posts: 184 Member
    LMFAO!! Best. Story. Ever.
  • LJCannon
    LJCannon Posts: 3,636 Member
    :laugh:
  • ladybug91254
    ladybug91254 Posts: 232 Member
    Absolutely hilarious! You should be a comedian!
  • AKosky585
    AKosky585 Posts: 607 Member
    LMAO...that is absolutely hysterical. After I stopped crying from laughing so hard, I read this to my husband and he laughed just as hard. :) So something we would do...haha.
  • kaciemustlose
    kaciemustlose Posts: 14
    That is totally hilarious!!! When you got done with your story you should have said to her, "And here's your sign!"... what a stupid question!
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    I SO needed that. Thanks Jill!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • OnionCookie
    OnionCookie Posts: 272 Member
    Oh my god. LOL That's awesome.
  • beweb
    beweb Posts: 1
    that's hilarious!! I am a costco employee and I wish I could have heard you telling this story in line! I think I'm going to have to share this with my co-workers tomorrow :)
  • outdoormom1
    outdoormom1 Posts: 3
    I never forget the first time I heard that. I was sitting in a chair getting a haircut and the guy next to me told me a version of that joke. I could hardly sit still to finish the haircut I was laughing so hard! Nice to hear your version too!
  • SandraMay1982
    SandraMay1982 Posts: 328
    I saw that email a couple of years ago. But, of course it's still highly amusing!
  • PJilly
    PJilly Posts: 22,008 Member
    This wasn't a true story — just a joke I thought I'd pass along. Glad you all enjoyed it!
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