I'm sooo depressed and cant motivate myself

jenniflower75
jenniflower75 Posts: 23 Member
edited September 21 in Motivation and Support
Ok so ive been trying to loose weight for the last year and a half. Last fall ( holidays ) i stopped loosing and gained 10 lbs... i was at 174 and went up to 184... almost a year later and im still only down to 182. I just cant seem to get myself motivated again. I'm miserable, i'm so depressed, and i feel like its never gonna happen. I had lost 61 lbs im now at 53lbs... how discouraging.. I can't stand it i just cant. I was so down about my weight i went through some fasting periods and even was throwing up trying to loose weight. SOooo now i struggle with those on top of my trying to loose weight. Since last november I havent gotten below 168.. which was when i was fasting. I am sooo sick of being the big girl.. I was never big, even after having all three of my kids but I am bipolar and was put on meds in 2000 that brought me from 145 to 225 I yo yoed ever since never getting below 175.. In that time i have had many med problems and have finally decided that I will no longer be on meds that make me gain weight. I refuse!!! So now I'm trying to get my weight under control. Since i got here I have lost and gained 7lbs.. i am presently only 2lbs less than i started but i'm not sure how much of my weight is water weight.. when it gets really hot i swell like a balloon and now is no different. I have no idea what my true weight is but as of right now it says that i have gained 5 lbs in the past week... i dont know how that is possible but with me anything is possible. I have been so frustrated, so overwhelmed, and so depressed over my weight i cant seem to make myself do anything. It's been too hot to do any kind of exercise. I cant do much mroe than walk and its too hot to even do that.. ugh. I set my calorie goal as 1200 cals a day but i have my days where i cant stay at 1200 no matter how hard i try. ANy one with ideas on how to loose this water weight, how to get motivated, how to kick myself in the *kitten* to get out of this funk please please let me know.. if there are any challenges or anythign that i can become a part of i would appreciate it. I would like to be a size 9 a solid 9 by christmas. I am anywhere, depending on the brand of clothing, between a 10- 15. UGH SO i want to be a 9, a true 9. THat gives me 20 weeks to get there, i would hope i can do it. I am registering at 182 presently on the scale... water weight included. i dont know if at 162 i could fit in a 9 or not but I really really want to be in a 9.. my ultimate goal is to be 135.. any one who can help me PLEASE PLEASE do so.

Replies

  • tn2010
    tn2010 Posts: 228 Member
    I started at 180 and I'm eating a 1550 calorie diet. I think you are probably starving yourself. I would try putting your settings at 1 or 2 pounds a week and follow MFP's calorie suggestion.
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
    Perhaps putting the scale away and not obsessing about size right now might help your mind from realing a bit.

    You could pick one thing to change in a week. Forget about the weight for just a bit.

    How about water are you drinking 8 cups+ a day? If not there's a good place to start! :) Do that for one week and realize that's a pretty huge thing to make a change like that and to have stuck to it! If you're already set in a pattern of water drinking let's pick something else.

    Veggies, do you eat dark greens each day, spinach, green beans, dark lettuces etc. If not, then for a week make a plan to eat them once a day (more is way better but for starters if you haven't been once is AWESOME).

    Just pick something you feel you'd like to make a change in and do it for 7 days that's all and then add another healthy change why still keeping up with the other new healthy habit.

    You sound very overwhelmed and pretty down on yourself. Please don't be so hard on yourself. The size 9 thing, really in the big picture, it's a tiny thing compared to changing eating habits and creating new healty ones for life. Size doesn't matter as much as your body getting healthy and staying healthy.

    Willing to try? Might be worth it for you to take ALL this pressure you're piling on yourself and all this beating up you're doing to yourself to simply pick one new habit and start it first thing in the a.m.

    Decide tonight what you want it to be. Concentrate on that and don't worry so much about 'messing up' (cause you can't really mess up anything) because this is something you'll be doing for the rest of your life. :)

    I hope something above helps a bit :flowerforyou:
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,033 Member
    I have been where you are and know the frustration. I would suggest doing something that would get you motivated. Maybe join a gym, or a water aerobics class, yoga class,gardening,etc. something that would be good for you, get you moving, something fun. Deep coming to this site and reading the blogs and stuff. Keep walking and if it is too hot try to swim. Also keep track of your food and exercise diaries even if you dont feel like it or mess up because it makes you aware of what you are eating. Just hang in there. We all go through rough times when the pounds just arent coming off. But if you make yourself exercise even when you dont feel like it and monitor your eating even when you dont feel like it you will start to loose weight and then you will get motivated. Good luck and dont quit
  • fivedaily
    fivedaily Posts: 30
    (((I'm sending hugs your way.))) I agree that your daily calories are probably too low. Remember, slow and steady wins the race. I've read that it's only possible to lose 3lbs a week, any more than that is just muscle loss, and you don't want to lose muscle. Muscle burns more calories than fat, so we don't want to lose muscle. I know your weight is depressing for you, but please reconsider stopping your meds. You said you're a mother, if you're off your meds can you still keep up with the demanding full-time job of mothering? I know there must be other meds out there that are effective and will not put on weight. Tell your doc. exactly what you're going through. I know you know that fasting and throwing up are not going to help you with long term weight loss. Try setting a daily goal. A short term goal. Because, Christmas is a long way in the future and you need some accomplishments to get you there. Know what I mean. :smile: If you can accomplish one goal a day...you will make progress. We are all here for you.
    :flowerforyou:
  • mommafancy
    mommafancy Posts: 6
    read this book:
    http://primalblueprint.com/products/The-Primal-Blueprint.html
  • jenniflower75
    jenniflower75 Posts: 23 Member
    Thanks everyone.. I went through last night after i posted this and read the newbie posts they make a lot of sense but they are frustrating and scary facts. I changed my calorie goal and to loose 1 lb a week im to eat almost 1400 calories a day and thats if i dont exercise. SOooo i went out late last night and bought a ton of fruit and some big bags of salad mix and spinach.. I'm gonna try eating healthier, less sodium, and less cholesterol.. im on cholesterol meds right now.. i have today and tomorrows meals planned out and am adding a lot of fruit and a salad a day. Hopefully that will help but you are totally right i am obsessed with the scale, i dont just weigh myself every day but every time i go into the bathroom.. :( its so frustrating because when i first started loosing weight i was doing so good.. i would have 4 or 5 weeks in a row of loosing consitantly then maybe a week of standstill than back to loosing.. and to be stuck now is just depressing, i have even gone up and down in measurements since ive been on here.. im hoping that is just the water weight but maybe not i d k. So one day at a time im gonna take the eating thing a little better.. i know i should be exercising too but i feel like whats the point.. if i could just see some loss it wouldnt be so hard to stay motivated. You know back in may i did a 5k.. i walked most of it but i did jog every couple min for a couple of min at a time.. i was so proud of myself and for awhile there i was loving trying to jog but i tried doing it after the 5 k and just couldnt make myself do it.. i'd just given up.. now im trying to start over with the watching what i eat but i also need to stop drinking, i have been doing that a lot lately and i knkow its empty calories but i feel like if i have to give up all of my junk food i need something to fall back on.. ugh idk
  • fivedaily
    fivedaily Posts: 30
    Congratulations on your healthy eating goals. You asked why you should exercise...what's the point? I read in prevention mag. (you might want to look up this for yourself) that exercise can lower cholesterol. So that's another goal for exercising. Another thing, you said you did a 5K. I did to. Do you still have your picture of when you crossed the finish line? If you do, post it where you'll see it everyday. Also, look on line for any 5K's in your area that are taking place two to three months from now. Then train for it! Keep up the good work.:smile:
  • Suwanna
    Suwanna Posts: 9
    Please don't stay depressed, When I feel down I have 300g of fresh papaya, you can look it up on the internet to see if it can help you too...Infact I try to have papay every day. Plus one can buy weighing scales that give you the water count I have some... Also melon can help with bringing the swelling down.... You say you have 3 children so I guess your a very busy mum.... Please try papaya if you can get it there if not try blueberries they also help... Failing all else come out to Thailand and I'll take you around sight seeing or to the beach...

    Good luck with the dieting...

    Suwanna...:flowerforyou:
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