Do people try and burst your positivity balloon?.. Rant!
McWooey
Posts: 61 Member
I am now into week 3 of a nutrition and exercise plan developed by my personal trainer - and I have now hit my goal weight! I have been advised on proper portion sizes of carbs, veg, fruit, protein, and fats for my body size, and its really helping my mindset of eating habits - but every time anyone becomes aware I'm on the eating plan .. i get hit with a barrage of misunderstanding and judgement... Why... because I am not your typical dieter... in the sense that I am small already
the issue is this... as women we know the type of body we want... and when we feel low about our shape... it can spur us into action in getting it sorted... but some people, pass comments, and yes they may be trying to be nice, they may genuinely just misunderstand what we''re doing.. or they may actually be annoyed or resentful at our determination to change our bodies ... and they just say things that don't inspire positivity or encouragement.
Am I way ahead of myself?... well here's what I'm getting at.
I am 5 foot 3, and have just hit my happy weight of 8 stone (what this means obviously is this is what I and my body seems comfortable being)... and I think any lighter is a little too light for me.
My upper body currently is very fine - I can wear size 6 (UK) clothing easily and I have a modest bust - I'm not complaining - I am happy like that, however the crux of the matter is, I am a size 10 (UK) lower half - the reason why - my hips are my heavy point. I'm the stereotypical Pear shape...my waist is 26 inches, but it swells out quite rapidly to 34 inch hips - this isn't the worst thing in the world I grant you; but to me, I look out of shape, and my goal isn't to lose tons of weight, its to slim my butt, thighs and the muffin tops, to bring me into better proportion. That was my reason for taking up the plan... because my eating habits were meaning, that despite rigorous training, my shape wasn't really changing ... after having the nutritional stuff worked out and explained I saw I was overloading on carbs and denying myself adequate protein.
In 2 weeks i have lost 1.5kgs which is great for someone of my size, but more importantly my jeans are feeling looser around the hips! i am going to take my measurements on Saturday and I'm also getting body fat% took them too... which is what I'll be focusing on more than weight loss.
The thing is... I know that my fellow MFP'ers who have the same issues of wanting to tone up and create lean muscle understand this, but Joe public doesn't. Its Thursday right now and already 6 people have said to me this week... what do you need to be on a diet plan for? sure you're skinny.... I don't feel like I should have to justify my healthy eating choices to people, yet that was what I was doing. I started saying, its just a healthy eating plan, or I just want to eat better... because they were looking at me like I was someone about to develop an eating disorder... all because I want to take better care of my body and my health.
But last night, when i came f0orm the weigh-in feeling upbeat because I had hit my target weight, two people said... you shouldn't be losing weight...WOW did that puncture my happy balloon!!
I decided from them on... I WON'T justify my decisions regarding my health and happiness any longer.. so today as I talked to my boss about my hitting my target weight, and she commented on seeing a difference in my shape (thank Goodness for supportive friends who are also going through same body issues as me).. her partner and a colleague both commented on both of us saying we need fed up, not to lose weight. I at that moment turned round and said... I am not on a diet to lose weight.. I am on a nutrition and exercise plan devised by my personal trainer, to get my body in proportion, to get my eating habits corrected, and to help me get happy with my shape!. They both had NOTHING to say to that!, looked suitably chastised, and I felt proud that I was able to stand up for myself and my choices.
so the point of this rant.. is to say... yes I may be one of many who is thinner than most who are watching what they eat, but I have every much a valid reason to be doing an eating plan as someone twice my size. I am sensible, I know my weaknesses, I have my realistic goals, and I am as worthy of taking care of myself as the next person!
SO don't judge me on the fact I am doing what you may call a "diet" (I hate that word). Respect me for the fact I am making the choice to keep my body in good shape!
This is not meant to offend anyone! I just want all to understand... that we're all worthy of looking after ourselves!
Rant over!!
have a great day everyone!
N xx
the issue is this... as women we know the type of body we want... and when we feel low about our shape... it can spur us into action in getting it sorted... but some people, pass comments, and yes they may be trying to be nice, they may genuinely just misunderstand what we''re doing.. or they may actually be annoyed or resentful at our determination to change our bodies ... and they just say things that don't inspire positivity or encouragement.
Am I way ahead of myself?... well here's what I'm getting at.
I am 5 foot 3, and have just hit my happy weight of 8 stone (what this means obviously is this is what I and my body seems comfortable being)... and I think any lighter is a little too light for me.
My upper body currently is very fine - I can wear size 6 (UK) clothing easily and I have a modest bust - I'm not complaining - I am happy like that, however the crux of the matter is, I am a size 10 (UK) lower half - the reason why - my hips are my heavy point. I'm the stereotypical Pear shape...my waist is 26 inches, but it swells out quite rapidly to 34 inch hips - this isn't the worst thing in the world I grant you; but to me, I look out of shape, and my goal isn't to lose tons of weight, its to slim my butt, thighs and the muffin tops, to bring me into better proportion. That was my reason for taking up the plan... because my eating habits were meaning, that despite rigorous training, my shape wasn't really changing ... after having the nutritional stuff worked out and explained I saw I was overloading on carbs and denying myself adequate protein.
In 2 weeks i have lost 1.5kgs which is great for someone of my size, but more importantly my jeans are feeling looser around the hips! i am going to take my measurements on Saturday and I'm also getting body fat% took them too... which is what I'll be focusing on more than weight loss.
The thing is... I know that my fellow MFP'ers who have the same issues of wanting to tone up and create lean muscle understand this, but Joe public doesn't. Its Thursday right now and already 6 people have said to me this week... what do you need to be on a diet plan for? sure you're skinny.... I don't feel like I should have to justify my healthy eating choices to people, yet that was what I was doing. I started saying, its just a healthy eating plan, or I just want to eat better... because they were looking at me like I was someone about to develop an eating disorder... all because I want to take better care of my body and my health.
But last night, when i came f0orm the weigh-in feeling upbeat because I had hit my target weight, two people said... you shouldn't be losing weight...WOW did that puncture my happy balloon!!
I decided from them on... I WON'T justify my decisions regarding my health and happiness any longer.. so today as I talked to my boss about my hitting my target weight, and she commented on seeing a difference in my shape (thank Goodness for supportive friends who are also going through same body issues as me).. her partner and a colleague both commented on both of us saying we need fed up, not to lose weight. I at that moment turned round and said... I am not on a diet to lose weight.. I am on a nutrition and exercise plan devised by my personal trainer, to get my body in proportion, to get my eating habits corrected, and to help me get happy with my shape!. They both had NOTHING to say to that!, looked suitably chastised, and I felt proud that I was able to stand up for myself and my choices.
so the point of this rant.. is to say... yes I may be one of many who is thinner than most who are watching what they eat, but I have every much a valid reason to be doing an eating plan as someone twice my size. I am sensible, I know my weaknesses, I have my realistic goals, and I am as worthy of taking care of myself as the next person!
SO don't judge me on the fact I am doing what you may call a "diet" (I hate that word). Respect me for the fact I am making the choice to keep my body in good shape!
This is not meant to offend anyone! I just want all to understand... that we're all worthy of looking after ourselves!
Rant over!!
have a great day everyone!
N xx
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Replies
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I can't agree more. I am also a pear (23.5" waist, 38" hips) and trying to even out and tone up. At 5'9" and 134 lbs, I get these comments all the time. My favorite is "you don't need to eat healthy/exercise, you're thin enough already." Does it not occur to them that the reason I am "thin enough" is because I do eat healthy and exercise? Unfortunately, for some strange reason, people seem to think that you only need to eat healthy and exercise while trying to lose weight (which might be why so many people have difficulty keeping the weight off). I usually just stick with the answer you gave, it's not a diet but a healthy eating plan. I think that's the best you can do for most people.
In other news, congratulations on your progress! I have been trying to accomplish something similar, but have lost weight pretty much everywhere except my hips, so your accomplishment is amazing in my eyes!0 -
In other news, congratulations on your progress! I have been trying to accomplish something similar, but have lost weight pretty much everywhere except my hips, so your accomplishment is amazing in my eyes!
thanks so much... and good for you too!
my trainer has been great at encouraging me to do resistance training to tone up as opposed to pure cardio which is what I always thought got you slim! I'm also following casey on blogilates site, and as much as I can I try one of her videos at night. Im currently doing the inner thigh challenge which is just doing one thigh exercise for duration of a song! it really is toning me.
xx0 -
Haters are gonna hate......
You know what I tell people like that when they make their snide comments?
I say "Oh, thanks, I didn't know you were a professional dietician or trainer"....0 -
haha good one!0
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Good for you at sticking up for yourself. You can only be pushed so far until heads fly. I honestly believe you were justified in your shortness to those who questioned you. And you are right, it is because of misunderstandings. People hear the word diet and they immediately think of some weight-loss fad. People don't realize there are millions of people on a diet for some reason...some are to lose weight, some are to reshape, and some are to fix EDs.0
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Right on girlfriend. Your profile pic is bad *kitten*, may I please steal that pose from you! I want to do reverse push-ups or what ever it is you are doing off of my car too! 0
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Good for you! I've heard the same kind of comments. Screw those people....nothing wrong with doing what you have to do to be happy with your shape.0
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First, good for you for doing what you need to do in order to get your body how you want it.
But I'm confused as to why it became an issue in the first place. If you're not getting the support you want, why are you talking about your new lifestyle to people at work?
Unless you're willing to hold a conference explaining to everyone why you're doing what you're doing, you're not going to change anyone's opinion or make them understand. Yes, here on MFP, we get it. But in the real world, people are always going to judge you based on their own perceptions.0 -
me personally I woiuld love your help on the portion control and healthy eating. would love to learn from you on your weight loss. learn to properly portion the carbs and all. that is where my struggle is. you look great!
feel free to add me.
the reason people are haters is because they :
Have Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success!0 -
Cudos to you for sticking to your plan. We have a "family" saying, "How stupid can people be, how stupid do you want?" While it would be nice to get more support from people around you, the simple matter is, most people are unconscious of what's going on in their own bodies, let alone yours. Stick to your plan. Feel good because YOU are doing what YOU need.
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All the time. Every time I start making good choices when out to eat with friends or family the "you can't keep this up forever" comments always make an appearance. I always say why not, you stood there all this time and have watched me make shi*ty decisions all this time and said nothing about it, why not keep quiet about these less-shi*ty decisions then...usually shuts them up but it's annoying having to deal with it all the time.0
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I would invest in a positivity boulder or something of that nature.
They're alot less likely to burst.0 -
Haters are gonna hate......
You know what I tell people like that when they make their snide comments?
I say "Oh, thanks, I didn't know you were a professional dietician or trainer"....0 -
No, I don't put my positivism in balloons. It would take a demolition ball to knock me down.0
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I hear you... what I hear often is "you don't have any weight to lose!" I know its meant to be a compliment but then I feel I have to go into some explanation of how my weight has creeped up and I just wear it well..yada yada.
I think people automatically feel that they should be doing something too...so they discourage you...0 -
You're doing it for yourself, so start caring less what others think.
It takes practice but you'll get there.0 -
Right on girlfriend. Your profile pic is bad *kitten*, may I please steal that pose from you! I want to do reverse push-ups or what ever it is you are doing off of my car too!
haha tricep dips off my car after a run because there was no available bench... trying to build up my weedy arms!!0 -
First, good for you for doing what you need to do in order to get your body how you want it.
But I'm confused as to why it became an issue in the first place. If you're not getting the support you want, why are you talking about your new lifestyle to people at work?
Unless you're willing to hold a conference explaining to everyone why you're doing what you're doing, you're not going to change anyone's opinion or make them understand. Yes, here on MFP, we get it. But in the real world, people are always going to judge you based on their own perceptions.
I do get great support from my partner (whose my gym buddy), my boss, whose going through similar eating plan and close friends.. its just people who randomly find out about eating plan through things like MFP posting to my facebook (which I've now stopped it doing) and when I'm having general conversation with colleagues or family... the scenario with colleagues came up today as we sat down chatting with tea and my boss asked how my weigh-in went... anyhow thanks all for the comments0 -
I stopped worrying about what others thought about my goals a long time ago. They're your goals, not theirs. You be the size and shape that you want. You're a healthy weight and size, but you want to do a little body recomposition. So do it and enjoy the fact that you've developed a sensible understanding of food and exercise to achieve those goals. Most people out there in the real world have no idea about nutrition, portion, or fitness. It's just a fact of life.0
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I hear you... what I hear often is "you don't have any weight to lose!" I know its meant to be a compliment but then I feel I have to go into some explanation of how my weight has creeped up and I just wear it well..yada yada.
I think people automatically feel that they should be doing something too...so they discourage you...
I agree... 90% of the people that tell me I don't need to do it are overweight... and then go on to finish their statement with something along the lines of... if you were my size however you'd need to be on a diet... but the thing is I know the majority are just resigned to being that way, and dont think they can change their shape or come up with a million excuses why they can't!0 -
All the time. Every time I start making good choices when out to eat with friends or family the "you can't keep this up forever" comments always make an appearance. I always say why not, you stood there all this time and have watched me make shi*ty decisions all this time and said nothing about it, why not keep quiet about these less-shi*ty decisions then...usually shuts them up but it's annoying having to deal with it all the time. 0
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me personally I woiuld love your help on the portion control and healthy eating. would love to learn from you on your weight loss. learn to properly portion the carbs and all. that is where my struggle is. you look great!
feel free to add me.
the reason people are haters is because they :
Have Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success!
consider yourself added
my trainer developed the nutritional plan specific to everyone taking on the eating plan.. he's been training me for over a year and did extensive assessments on my flexibility, strengths and weaknesses and reviewed a food diary when I first went to training to see what my eating habits were like, he then set them as to what I should be eating etc for that reason I really couldn't say what your own specific portions should be but I can guide you as to what i was eating and what I'm reduced to if thats something you'd be interested in? If you check out my blog etc im going to be going into detail on the changes to my diet today if not tomorrow! I havent been using the MFP food diary since I started the eating plan because I'm filling in a paper diary but happy to discuss it all 0 -
Alright, I didn't read all that. Honestly, I just read the title. But yes, some people (Debbie Downers and Negative Nancys) always try to spin things into something bad or into some type of drama. But I fend them off with positive spins and quick doses of enthusiasm. It is hard sometimes, but if I can always find a bright side and share it with them, many times it just pisses them off because it makes their arguements null. That...THAT I LOVE!0
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I meant to say, I agree whole heartedly. LOL0
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I know how the, "Why are you ____? You're skinny already!" My parent-in laws, particularly mother-in-law, goes on about it all the time. I'm not where I want to be, personally. I do this for my health and my self-image, not yours! Sheesh.0
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I agree with others that said haters are going to hate!! You have to do what is right for you and your body. I think people that say those things are just jelous that you have such great self control when it comes to food. I use to kind of feel that way about one of my friends but now that I am watching what I eat I understand that she is just being smart about what she puts in her body. I say you go girl!!!0
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