Deciding to go from 2 kids to 3

BflSaberfan
BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
in Chit-Chat
My husband and I have been contemplating having a third child. We have a 12 year old and an 8 year old. Both girls. I wouldn't mind having a third and I do kind of miss having a baby around and the fact that my girls are getting older makes me sad (although I do enjoy watching them go through each new phase).

However - I do enjoy the little bit of freedom that comes with not having a baby any more. No more diaper bags, potty training, bottles, etc. And the idea of starting all over again kind of scares me - as well as being out numbered.

I am 31 so I feel like I need to make this decision soon. Hubby is all for it but respects my decision either way (I think he's just hoping third time's a charm and will get a baby boy this time lol). 2 years ago I was very adamant that I did not want any more and that me and my body were DONE, but the last couple of years I am finding myself getting emotional when I see newborns and feel like my heartstrings are telling me I do maybe want another one.

For those of you with 2 or 3 kids what made you decide to stop where you are or to have 1 more?

Replies

  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    My husband and I have been contemplating having a third child. We have a 12 year old and an 8 year old. Both girls. I wouldn't mind having a third and I do kind of miss having a baby around and the fact that my girls are getting older makes me sad (although I do enjoy watching them go through each new phase).

    However - I do enjoy the little bit of freedom that comes with not having a baby any more. No more diaper bags, potty training, bottles, etc. And the idea of starting all over again kind of scares me - as well as being out numbered.

    I am 31 so I feel like I need to make this decision soon. Hubby is all for it but respects my decision either way (I think he's just hoping third time's a charm and will get a baby boy this time lol). 2 years ago I was very adamant that I did not want any more and that me and my body were DONE, but the last couple of years I am finding myself getting emotional when I see newborns and feel like my heartstrings are telling me I do maybe want another one.

    For those of you with 2 or 3 kids what made you decide to stop where you are or to have 1 more?

    I decided to stop at 2, but got 3 anyways. I was devastated when I found out, but I wouldn't trade him for the world. Now I also am raising my boyfriend's son. I am so glad I don't have to deal with diapers and bottles anymore. I have a lot more freedom and can actually go to the bathroom without being interrupted because my kids are old enough to know better.
  • What316
    What316 Posts: 563
    Don't do it it ****s up holidays abroad ,it makes family passes no good two always turn on the one and you make one of the sexes weaker in the home front :)
  • mister_universe
    mister_universe Posts: 6,664 Member
    For us, the hardest transition was from two to three. It was much harder than one to two. We barely noticed the change from three to four. :laugh:
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
    does anyone think the age difference between the youngest and the older two will make a difference in how close the kids are?
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
    God said go forth and multiply.. if you only have 2 kids, your only replacing yourself.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I've got two, the 1st having just turned 3 the 2nd being 9 months old...we're currently in the depths of hell. I personally can't imagine having another...but in a couple of years I'm sure I'll forget about how suck *kitten* this past year has been. Fortunately, it won't matter...my wife and I will be to old I think @ 40 to really even give it any serious consideration. This kid thing is a young man's game to be sure....I don't think I've slept in about 3 years at this point.
  • SarahBeth0625
    SarahBeth0625 Posts: 685 Member
    Your kids are older, so it will probably be nice to have the extra help. Mine are 5, 3, and 21 months, so it's definitely a lot of work having 3 littles.


    The decision is ultimately yours on whether or not you want another child. :smile:

    My only advice is to breastfeed as it definitely is the easiest way to go -- you will lose postpartum weight faster and it allows you to get more sleep not having to wake up to make bottles. ;) Take it with a grain of salt as I am a shameless breastfeeding advocate. :smile:
  • CountingCaloriesSuxass
    CountingCaloriesSuxass Posts: 387 Member
    I have 1 and want to go to 3..
  • laserturkey
    laserturkey Posts: 1,680 Member
    I stopped at 2 because my neighbor who had just had her third told me I had NO IDEA how much crazier things get going from 2 to 3.
  • BamaBreezeNSaltAire
    BamaBreezeNSaltAire Posts: 966 Member
    does anyone think the age difference between the youngest and the older two will make a difference in how close the kids are?
    No!
    Mine are 8 years apart and they absolutely LOVE each other, hands down, no if's ands or but's!
  • ForABetterMe89
    ForABetterMe89 Posts: 196
    does anyone think the age difference between the youngest and the older two will make a difference in how close the kids are?

    I only have 1, 18 months, so I'm not help when it comes to having 3. But I will say this, my brother and I are 10.5 years a part and we are so much more closer than my sister and I (4 years), or he and my sister (6 years).
  • mommylifter
    mommylifter Posts: 123
    I have 2 kids. A boy and a girl ages 2 & 4. I soooo miss having a baby, but at the end of the day, I really don't want 3 kids. Remember the baby phase doesn't last forever! We are 100% done having kids and although it was sad at first, I am so swamped with just the 2, and my son is a turd and a half, so I have no regrets.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    I have 3. I always wanted 3. My husband told me when we first met that he wanted FIVE. Then, after the second child, he recanted his statement and I had to fight long and hard for that third baby. (no, I didn't resort to "tricking" him either) Anyway, they are now 12(girl), 9(boy), and 6(girl). We thought about a fourth when #3 was 3 but ultimately decided that 3 kids were expensive enough. And thank God, because my 12 year old plays 3 sports now...and that shizz ain't cheap.
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member

    I am 31 so I feel like I need to make this decision soon. Hubby is all for it but respects my decision either way (I think he's just hoping third time's a charm and will get a baby boy this time lol)....

    First, at 31 you've been a parent your entire adult life. And you have PLENTY of time. I had my FIRST child at 34. Second, if DH is hoping for a boy, will it be a problem if the two of you have a third girl? I know of several families who kept going until they got the gender that they wanted, which can be tough on the others.
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272

    I am 31 so I feel like I need to make this decision soon. Hubby is all for it but respects my decision either way (I think he's just hoping third time's a charm and will get a baby boy this time lol)....

    First, at 31 you've been a parent your entire adult life. And you have PLENTY of time. I had my FIRST child at 34. Second, if DH is hoping for a boy, will it be a problem if the two of you have a third girl? I know of several families who kept going until they got the gender that they wanted, which can be tough on the others.

    Definitely not, I think he would be slightly disappointed but not enough tht it would show in his bonding with the third girl...he is really involved and engaged father - I know 100% I'd never have more than 3, I just am not 100% on only having 2 =/
  • Some_Watery_Tart
    Some_Watery_Tart Posts: 2,250 Member
    I have 3. I would have had 4, but as it turns out, I realized that I really hated my ex-husband because he was a mean alcoholic db. So no go on that. Instead I later decided to marry a really nice guy with 2 kids of his own. So I skipped 4 and went straight to 5.

    I definitely recommend the "big" family thing. We have lots of fun, and no one is ever lonely! But it's definitely a lifestyle change with the 3rd because you become outnumbered. :wink:
  • PrincessPoopiePants
    PrincessPoopiePants Posts: 8
    I'm currently deciding to go from 2 kids to 1.
  • amyk0202
    amyk0202 Posts: 666 Member
    I have 4 kids. I fully intended to have more but I had so much trouble losing the weight after my last that I didn't want to start a pregnancy that way. I had hard pregnancies anyway--always on bedrest & all mine were preemies, so I knew that I needed to be as healthy as possible. For me, once I got past the "baby fever" stage & the kids started to get older, I saw how easy everything was & then once I had WLS I decided I was really done. I could still get pregnant. The surgery does not prevent that, but I have now worked so hard that I am afraid of losing everything I've worked for while I lay on my back for months. Also, my family is now enjoying the ability to just pick up & move out when we want to do something. We are gear-free after what seems like forever.

    The decision to have more after 2 was really easy for me. I love babies even though mine were not at all easy---NICU, reflux, apnea monitor, aspergers. I loved breastfeeding. I wore my babies everywhere. I cloth diapered. Love, love, love them. I think that having 2 older children would be a huge help if you have another now. All of mine close together (currently 14, 11, 10, 7), so DH & I were doing everything ourselves. Having an extra 2 pairs of hands to help keep a toddler entertained would be great. I just recently realized that I really am done having babies. Two of my friends have had babies in the last 2 years--one now has a toddler & I am soooo enjoying the ability to send him home with his mama & glad I don't have that as a constant in my life now. The other has a 2 month old & that has always been my weakness. I would hold an infant & miss that for myself. Now, I somehow do not feel that sense of loss that I used to that I don't have one of my own. If that makes sense :smile: .
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
    I have 4 kids. I fully intended to have more but I had so much trouble losing the weight after my last that I didn't want to start a pregnancy that way. I had hard pregnancies anyway--always on bedrest & all mine were preemies, so I knew that I needed to be as healthy as possible. For me, once I got past the "baby fever" stage & the kids started to get older, I saw how easy everything was & then once I had WLS I decided I was really done. I could still get pregnant. The surgery does not prevent that, but I have now worked so hard that I am afraid of losing everything I've worked for while I lay on my back for months. Also, my family is now enjoying the ability to just pick up & move out when we want to do something. We are gear-free after what seems like forever.

    The decision to have more after 2 was really easy for me. I love babies even though mine were not at all easy---NICU, reflux, apnea monitor, aspergers. I loved breastfeeding. I wore my babies everywhere. I cloth diapered. Love, love, love them. I think that having 2 older children would be a huge help if you have another now. All of mine close together (currently 14, 11, 10, 7), so DH & I were doing everything ourselves. Having an extra 2 pairs of hands to help keep a toddler entertained would be great. I just recently realized that I really am done having babies. Two of my friends have had babies in the last 2 years--one now has a toddler & I am soooo enjoying the ability to send him home with his mama & glad I don't have that as a constant in my life now. The other has a 2 month old & that has always been my weakness. I would hold an infant & miss that for myself. Now, I somehow do not feel that sense of loss that I used to that I don't have one of my own. If that makes sense :smile: .

    Amy that does make sense. I do feel that sense of loss as you describe it, even I do have two children. I am really longing for another one. So much to think about though. I dont know. I also enjoy the freedom to just go with no gear.
  • lalaland82
    lalaland82 Posts: 176 Member
    I was always pretty set on just having 2 (they are 12 and nearly 7). My sister had her 3rd 5 months ago and now I know for sure I do not want any more! I honestly don't know how she does it but I take my hat off to her. She now has a moody pre teen, a toddler just going through those terrible 2's and a 5 month old who doesn't sleep through the night.
    When I get broody I just take them for the day, and then I can hand them back and enjoy a hot cuppa to recharge cos it's exhausting :laugh:

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