Confidence

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missimperfect
missimperfect Posts: 66 Member
in Chit-Chat
So, how do I work on this? I have zero self confidence. Someone give me tips?
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Replies

  • JustAboutDelicious_wechanged
    JustAboutDelicious_wechanged Posts: 2,487 Member
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    If you find the magic potion please let me know because I think we all could use it. It's a daily battle for most and as you lose the weight that you are trying to lose you will slowly build it up more. In the mean time, try to fake it until you make it.

    shakeit.jpg
  • PaleoChocolateBear
    PaleoChocolateBear Posts: 2,844 Member
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    I do this to build my confidence

    deflecting-bullets.gif
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
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    for me it's when I tell the dude chicks are swooning over to leave his max on the bar so I can do my warm up sets...that's how I got my overconfidence.
  • ChrisRS87
    ChrisRS87 Posts: 781 Member
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    Fake it. Eventually you'll realise you aren't faking anymore.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
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    You know when you kinda want to do something and you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you think you "can't" do it or you feel a little scared? Well....just take one more step. Then another.

    Confidence is all about how you feel about yourself. Me? I'm freakin' awesome. I know this. Everyone else does too. I wasn't always this way, but then I woke up one day and realized that I'm not giving anyone else the power to determine whether I'm happy or sad.

    Seriously, start doing crazy stuff you never thought you could do. Sign up for something that makes you look like an idiot, but it's for fun. Then do something else just as nuts or scary. Stop caring about what anyone else thinks.

    the_more_you_know.jpeg
  • mustang289
    mustang289 Posts: 299 Member
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    nevermind
  • Sweaty_N_Hungry
    Sweaty_N_Hungry Posts: 142
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    Honestly...this isn't high school anymore. You don't need someone's approval or acceptance. Confidence comes from the things that make you happy. Stick to what you love and you'll exude confidence.

    Stop giving two flying f*8Ks to what all else think.
  • vikiwebb1
    vikiwebb1 Posts: 1
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    I'm really shy with no real confidence, but I try to keep a smile on my face and have something positive to say. People can think that I'm too fat, or too tall, or that they don't like my trainers, or whatever they want to think, but they will remember me as the girl with nice manners who made them laugh. And if they don't like my trainers? Tough! :happy:
  • missbp
    missbp Posts: 601 Member
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    You know when you kinda want to do something and you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you think you "can't" do it or you feel a little scared? Well....just take one more step. Then another.

    Confidence is all about how you feel about yourself. Me? I'm freakin' awesome. I know this. Everyone else does too. I wasn't always this way, but then I woke up one day and realized that I'm not giving anyone else the power to determine whether I'm happy or sad.

    Seriously, start doing crazy stuff you never thought you could do. Sign up for something that makes you look like an idiot, but it's for fun. Then do something else just as nuts or scary. Stop caring about what anyone else thinks.

    This is excellent advice!
    MB
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
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    I wasn't always this way, but then I woke up one day and realized that I'm not giving anyone else the power to determine whether I'm happy or sad.



    :glasses:
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Do something cool.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    You know when you kinda want to do something and you get that feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes you think you "can't" do it or you feel a little scared? Well....just take one more step. Then another.

    Confidence is all about how you feel about yourself. Me? I'm freakin' awesome. I know this. Everyone else does too. I wasn't always this way, but then I woke up one day and realized that I'm not giving anyone else the power to determine whether I'm happy or sad.

    Seriously, start doing crazy stuff you never thought you could do. Sign up for something that makes you look like an idiot, but it's for fun. Then do something else just as nuts or scary. Stop caring about what anyone else thinks.

    This is excellent advice!
    MB

    Yes. And as you steps, understand that you did that. No one else. You.

    And that you can do it again.

    There could never be a more beautiful you and it just takes time to realize it.

    Steps.
  • LuHox
    LuHox Posts: 136
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    I believe that confidence comes from a genuine belief that you are equal to others and lack of confidence comes from believing that you are worth less than others. To overcome low self-esteem I believe you have to stop telling yourself LIES, change your PERSPECTIVE, and get rid of NEGATIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS.

    Generally I think a habitual lack of confidence tends to be based on LIES.
    1) We tell ourselves LIES.
    2) Other people tell us LIES and we believe them.

    It's also based on PERSPECTIVE
    1) You focus on the negative aspects of you (or what you label as negative in yourself).
    2) You'll have to start focusing on the positive

    Also, I believe we get stuck in NEGATIVE THOUGHT PATTERNS for so long that we forget how to break them.
    1) You must replace your negative thoughts with positive thoughts as soon as you catch yourself having them. Every time. No exceptions.

    ______________________________________________

    To elaborate a bit, the lies you tell yourself will vary from person to person, but can be something like:
    "I'm ugly," "Noone will ever love me," "I don't deserve [fill in the blank]" "I'm so stupid" or "There's just something wrong with me"
    Usually we BELIEVE these lies 100%, so they're hard to recognize. That's often the hardest part. Start by figuring out what lies you tell yourself. If you have a thought that makes you feel sad, guilty, or bad in any way, analyze it. Ask yourself if it is based on facts. Usually the answer is no, but if you're pretty convinced you might say "Yeah it's a fact that I'm ugly" or something equally wrong. Test the thought again. Ask yourself if that thought is helpful to you in achieving your goals and general well-being. If the answer is no, think of a thought that is both based in logical facts and helps you achieve your goals while contributing to your overall well-being. It's a lot of work, but you have to do this over and over until it's just the way you are.

    Also, give yourself permission to be AWESOME. You already are, but sometimes you need your own permission to believe it.

    I hope that made some sense.
  • chantelp89
    chantelp89 Posts: 590 Member
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    Fake it. Eventually you'll realise you aren't faking anymore.
    I agree 100%
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
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    Confidence in doing an activity comes with practice doing that activity.

    You are confident once you are comfortable. So just do it, and keep doing it, until it becomes a comfortable action!
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
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    do what you love to do. i mean, LOVE. like, would stay up too late to do this, would not call your mama when you were supposed to to do this, etc.

    if you don't already have something that you love to do (draw? sing? write? dance? walk in the woods? look at trains? anything?) you'd better find something soon. spend as much time as you can doing whatever it is that you love, getting good at it, enjoying the hell out it. Ideally this should be something that is not a sedentary activity and may be shared with others.

    1) when you do what you love and are happy by it, it leaves an imprint on your brain, starting all the way down at the molecular level, that manifests in mood and (possibly) personality changes. for the better.

    2) when you spend a lot of time doing something fun, depending upon what it is, chances are good that you will come into contact with other people who also get their kicks the same way. happy people having fun + happy people having fun = good times, possible friendships, and possibly more even still.

    worked for me.
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,285 Member
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    Watch Superbad!
  • Capt_Inzane
    Capt_Inzane Posts: 733 Member
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    I'm working on this as well, I think it's just being able to do what you want to do.

    For example going to a bar and dancing to a song that you enjoy.

    I went to a country bar and line danced with two beautiful women at the same time. I was nervous and scared as hell but they were laughing and having a good time as was I.

    That did wonders for my confidence and I'm still working on it but I realized that night that I wasn't a weak person.
  • captain_reckless
    captain_reckless Posts: 48
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    I recon every person whos over weight is struggeling with confidence on some level

    I know i do

    I think the key is to put your self out there, I came to the conclusion that most people in the world dont see me as badly as I did and the more I put myself out there the more confident I became

    I still struggle but I'm much morconfident today than I was 15 years ago
  • 2stepscloser
    2stepscloser Posts: 2,900 Member
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    I think we all struggle with confidence issues in some form or another. We are our own worst critic! As you lose weight and feel better about yourself, you'll start believing that you do look good. You will also begin overcoming fears and as you overcome them, your confidence will increase.

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