I want to have a baby...

Halloweenmom2
Halloweenmom2 Posts: 44
edited September 21 in Motivation and Support
I get so frustrated with this weight loss thing (but then again, who doesn't?)
I've been wanting to have a baby since last year and ... now I want to have one very bad.
I know I'm not at the weight where I want to be but I hate to know that I can't get pregnant now because I'm dieting
I am turning 27 in 3 months and... I just think it's time
My daughter is 3 and she gets so lonely, I wished I wasn't a FAT girl
I hate the fact that my weight is keeping me from doing the things I want to do so bad
Sometimes, like yesterday and today, I feel like not counting calories, not worrying about every single thing that goes
into my mouth. I just want to eat healthy and not worry about how many numbers are in
and how many are OUT by exercising
I want another baby so bad - I swear I want it so bad
I'm at 190 lbs now and I know that if I get pregnant I will only be so much heavier
I won't be unhealthy because I don't want to eat unhealthy anymore, I made a promise to eat healthy foods only, even if I lose weight or not.

I want a baby so bad and this whole weight thing really pisses me off. I get so frustrated. Should I have a baby and continue to lose weight or should I just wait? I get sad

Replies

  • missboriken
    missboriken Posts: 52 Member
    My two older daughters are 4 years apart (they are 16 & 12) and they are great friends. 10 years after I had a baby girl, and I was 38 (I am going to be 40 next spring).

    Age & Age gaps are relative- health is not. Don't get sad. Your children deserve a healthy mom.
  • foxxybrown
    foxxybrown Posts: 838 Member
    You don't have to gain a lot of weight with a baby...that's where many people go wrong. They feel as though they can eat anything and want to blame it on the baby after wards. Continue to work on eating healthy and exercising and work on having your baby.
  • tn2010
    tn2010 Posts: 228 Member
    If your goal is to lose weight before having another baby, then stick with it! Your 3 year old will not hate you for not providing a constant playmate (btw...it takes at least a year before they can really even play together for any length of time). Now, having said that, I was about 175 or 180 when I got pregnant with my second and I just made a vow to eat healthy, exercise, and gain very little weight while still being EXTREMELY conscious of the child growing inside me. I gained about 20 pounds and lost half of it when my 9lb. 3oz. little guy was born. It's possible to continue to be healthy while pregnant. First trimester was hard for me, when all I wanted was salty, fried food, but I was able to balance it all out and I'm very happy with how far I've come. My youngest is now 16 m.o. and I'm 170 lbs. and shrinking. If you do decide to have a baby soon, I would stick with MFP as a way to track how healthy you are eating for your new little one.
  • Dara80
    Dara80 Posts: 19 Member
    I know it's hard to wait but I would definatly recommend it. I made the mistake of thinking I could get pregnant at 180 pounds and ended up with preeclampsia that ended in an emergency csection. Then I got really smart and got pregnant again at 232 pounds. I got to spend the entire pregnancy being monitored for preeclampsia which I ended up with at only 20 weeks and gestational diabetes. It made for a very long painful pregnancy. Plus, not only is the extra weight a problem for you, it can also be a problem for the baby. My youngest son was born with under developed lungs that put him back in the hospital because I had gestational diabetes. Frustrating it is but I know we all want the best for our babies and you'd be giving your new LO a better start if you get yourself healthy first.
  • Mandie800
    Mandie800 Posts: 10 Member
    I think you are being way harder on yourself than you should be - I imagine most of the people in your life agree :) You really do look fantastic at 190 lbs. I'm just starting my weight loss journey but ultimately my goal is to drop the weight before I get pregnant too (turning 30 in a couple weeks blah.) I definitely think the decision to have a baby should be happy and surrounded by positive energy so lighten up on yourself and go for it. Just because you get pregnant, doesn't mean you have to stop eating healthier and exercising and 100% of my friends that have more than one child gained tons of weight with their first, but not nearly as much with their 2nd. You have the tools and you will be able to lose the weight after baby too. It sounds like you really want it and are mostly ready so if Husband agrees than I say Go for it and be happy!
  • Brandywithrow
    Brandywithrow Posts: 116
    Hey girl I know exactly how you feel right now im at 245 lbs and I have a 19 month old I just reached my pre pregnancy weight and got up to 305 when I had him im doing really well with ewxcerise and eating healthy but I want another baby so bad. Everyone keeps telling me why wait your going to lose weight and then gain back when you get pregnant but I wantg to loose the 45 that I might gain so that I will not have to gain anymore but I keep thinking about how My son should have a little brother or sister and then I get frustrated. I'm giving myself a time line if I dont lose the 45 by Novemeber im getting pregnant anyways! But im really trying hard to lose before then. Maybe you can try to lose the weight you know youll gain getting pregnant then you wont feel so bad? I dont know just a suggestion I hope everything works out for you becuase I know how hard it is to think Im not having a baby becuase I cant lose weight it just doesnt seem fair but we will both get there!!!
  • jalara
    jalara Posts: 2,599 Member
    Hey - you're not alone - there are a few of us in similiar shoes.We even have a group (there's that many of us).
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/107503-fit-for-future-families?page=9

    I understand the frustration - you are welcome to contact me privately anytime you want to vent, talk or need a boost.

    We can do this - it just takes some time an some work. :flowerforyou:
  • TerraEarth
    TerraEarth Posts: 16 Member
    I want a baby too! Sounds like you are pretty clear on what you want. I have a question for you, will waiting to have a baby until you are at a lower weight motivate you, or could it cause you to regret that you can't have what you want and work to sabatoge your weight loss?
    Why not do both things at once? If you are taking weight off slow and steady and eating healthy, there is nothing wrong with trying for a baby.
    Good luck!
  • sprieschl
    sprieschl Posts: 1 Member
    I completely understand that you want to have a baby. They are the biggest blessings in life! Use this "want" to your advantage... set a goal weight that you MUST weigh prior to trying to have another baby. It's a win-win! It's more important to be a healthy & happy person. You can be a MUCH better mom when you are healthy & happy... not to mention a better role model. When I'm on the treadmill & want to just get off, I think what kind of example am I setting for my daughter & keep going! There are days when I won't do it (exercise) for myself but I will for her (pathetic I know). I just started packing healthy snack ziplocs... As soon as I get home from the grocery store, I clean my fruit & veggies then pack in snack bags. Then they are always available. If I want to "cheat" I HAVE to eat one first... Best of luck!!
  • xarrium
    xarrium Posts: 432 Member
    I'd say you should do your homework when it comes to pregnancy (ie. how much more you should eat, how much weight you should expect to gain in order to ensure that the baby is healthy, etc.), then do it! In reality, you don't need to eat much more to provide adequate *energy*, it's the demand for nutrients like folate and iron that skyrockets (NOT calories), so rather than eating junk "for two" you'd be focusing on tons of good, nutritious food. Also, I've heard a lot of women say they lost weight after having a baby because breastfeeding uses up all the fat the body stored during pregnancy, and if you do it right you can burn even more. Most dietitians have training in balancing pregnancy and weight management, so if you can get in touch with one that would probably be super helpful. I'm 100% sure you'll get to your weight goal, so personally, I would say why deprive yourself of another baby (which is obviously important to you) just because you want to be thin *now*... just make sure you keep your eye on the prize!
  • candican
    candican Posts: 96
    First of all, you look amazing and pretty thin at 193! You look great! It is totally possible to be healthy at this weight but all that depends on your particular health situation. You should consult with your doctor and make sure everything checks out. As already mentioned, the most important thing is continuing to eat nutritiously and exercise. Getting pregnant doesn't mean you should stop that. In fact, it is even more more important while pregnant. Trust me, I know how you feel. I'm giving myself until September/October to lose as much as I can. Thereafter, I will start trying no matter what. But that's because I have a clean bill of health and don't have any health problems despite my being overweight. If I had other problems, I think I would want to work on them first.
  • aippolito1
    aippolito1 Posts: 4,894 Member
    I think you could take a year to get down to a comfortable weight and then have a baby. My two oldest siblings are 4 years apart and have ALWAYS been really good friends and got along great. :] I think it's a good distance apart! Any closer and they fight, such as my sister and her younger brother, that brother and me. (Sorry if that's confusing - kid #1 boy, kid #2 girl, kid #3 boy, kid #4 me)
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