1 year ago

myfitnessval
myfitnessval Posts: 687 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Last year, this week, I signed up for mfp and ended up losing 37lbs within 4 months of hard work and dedication. I learned so damn much, including what works and doesnt. I completed 2 different Jillian Michaels progams and even posted my results at the end of the 90 day one. I made MFP friends. I gave advice. I took advice. I got inspired. and more importantly I inspired others. I helped change others lives just like you all changed mine. 37 pounds. 6 inches on my waist. I bought new clothes. I was happy with what I saw in the mirror. It all started one year ago!

But here I am, a year later- Feeling like someone who has just come off a 7 month drug binge going back to NA for the first time in a while. Hanging my head in absolute shame. Regretting every single thing I willingly put into my body the last 7 months. Every time I justified the horrible things I did to cope with depression and stress, some of the worst I've been through in my 27 years.

I dont know how it happened honestly. It was a slippery slope. It started how it always starts. My birthday week. I almost poisoned myself on too much alcohol and justified my hangover food choices with survival. But it didn't stop there. Little by little I made concessions. When I got my promotion and my schedule got out of wack instead of making new time, new sacrifices to work out, I got lazy. And then winter hit and bam, feed me all the carbs. Its now spring almost summer and the depression is lifting and I just feel.... disappointed. I cant believe I'm back at square one. I cant believe I just lost 4 months. 4 months of sacrifice. FOR NOTHING. 37lbs down the drain.

I am so ashamed. I am disgusted. Most of all I regret. Deeply. all the decisions I made that led me to this point.

So here I am, confessing my sins to all of MFP.
I'm Valerie and I'm an emotional eater.
I want to change and STICK WITH IT this time.

Replies

  • VixPal1
    VixPal1 Posts: 14
    I feel your pain Val! I have the same problem! Good luck this time around. Stay strong!
  • TurquoisWater
    TurquoisWater Posts: 26 Member
    Hey Val,
    at least you've learned and you know that you can achieve that kind of weight loss if you try. You know that you don't have to doubt that your efforts are taking you there.
    I'm just starting out my weight loss journey and it's really tough to stay motivated. I try to just get back on track after letting go on a Saturday night like tonight or a holiday or when my boyfriend eats Reese ice cream and I just can't help, but have a serving or two.
    What did you think of Jillian's program? I'm considering it.

    Best wishes,
    - A
  • myfitnessval
    myfitnessval Posts: 687 Member
    Hey Val,
    at least you've learned and you know that you can achieve that kind of weight loss if you try. You know that you don't have to doubt that your efforts are taking you there.
    I'm just starting out my weight loss journey and it's really tough to stay motivated. I try to just get back on track after letting go on a Saturday night like tonight or a holiday or when my boyfriend eats Reese ice cream and I just can't help, but have a serving or two.
    What did you think of Jillian's program? I'm considering it.

    Best wishes,
    - A
    \

    Jillian Michaels Body Revolution was definitely the best program i've ever done and was REALLY easy to stick to considering you're working out 6 days a week for 3 months straight. its so effective that i'm redoing it to help me lose the bulk of this weight because it works that well.
  • mkal0812
    mkal0812 Posts: 3
    You are not alone! I was doing good with my weight and diet (if anything I was too strict) and then I dont know what happened. The there were some brownies and cheesecake at work and next thing you know I am 10 pounds heavier in just 2 months. It's so frustrating how easy and quick it is to put weigh on! Feel free to add me as a friend
  • Isagenixbody
    Isagenixbody Posts: 16 Member
    Hi!

    It wasn't for nothing...you learned what worked. You can just pick it up again! You were an inspiration to others - I'm sure they appreciated it. Start from today. Become that inspiration again.
  • pwnashi
    pwnashi Posts: 1
    I feel ya! Last semester I was able to lose 20 pounds with the combination of healthier eating and exercise. However this semester I gained it all back and more! >< What matters is that we're both getting back into the game! Working out and eating healthier! Good luck to the both of us. We CAN DO IT! :)
  • Symphony6
    Symphony6 Posts: 116 Member
    Honey, I feel your pain. I have been down that road, not once, but TWICE now. :embarassed: :frown:

    I lost 60 lbs 9 years ago and gained it back. Then I lost 47lbs 2.5 years ago and gained it back. Now, I'm on journey #3, but this time, it is for keepsies.

    I learned what worked and what my triggers were, and now, I'm on the straight and narrow. Don't dwell on the past, hon. Just learn from the mistakes, keep your head up, and charge forward!
  • Leesel66
    Leesel66 Posts: 67 Member
    Thanks for sharing your story. The lessons we all learn are how easy it is to fall back into old bad habits. You know know what works, what doesn't. You certainly are not alone and that's why I love MFP. It's opened my eyes to how bad I let myself go. Like you, I'm an emotional eater and I had to get to that place where my head was in the RIGHT place. It is now and with the support of my fellow MFP friends I'm encouraged, praised and supported during my journey. I also am enjoying my friends journey and seeing them and me overcome obstacles. Seeing the photos of other people and their stories are the best incentive for me to change who I was to who I want to be. You lost 37lbs in 4 months so you know you can do it again. Best of luck with your journey and feel free to add me, I'd love to follow and support you. Lisa :flowerforyou:
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    Winter is always more difficult for me. I live in a cold, rainy place. Winter is tough - no way around it - for weight maintenance.

    You're back! You know the drill.

    Don't beat yourself up. When November hits this year be READY. It will take lots of focus.
  • astunningimpact
    astunningimpact Posts: 27 Member
    Val,

    MFP FRIEND!!! I know that its good to let things out so I'm glad that you did. I hope that you feel better after doing so. I remember when I first joined MFP and found you shortly thereafter. You WERE and still ARE SUCH AN INSPIRATION to me!!!

    I am excited to watch this next phase of your journey, and happy to see you feeling ready to take the next step!

    YOU CAN DO IT!!
    !!!!!EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!!
    :-)


    -Ashley

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