Drug Addiction

telt4
telt4 Posts: 18 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm an addict and I'm currently in a day program. Ive had a problem with opiates for years but hid it from my family up until last December. I was doing great (or thought I was) up until a couple of weeks ago when I got overwhelmed and stressed out. Pills were my way of coping I guess. I hate it that I still want a freaking pill! I feel so weak and powerless. Ive just been taking it one day at a time though. My psychiatrist has made a lot of med adjustments (Im bipolar too) so my moods are all over the place here lately. I just want to be happy again without thinking that I need a darn pill to make me feel that way. Is there anyone else that can relate? It sucks to feel like this. I want my life back. I want to be able to smile again without it being fake. I want to look forward to the next day. My husband and my 11 year old son need me back but I don't know how to get there.

Replies

  • lolablitz
    lolablitz Posts: 38 Member
    Volunteering does wonders. It's better to feel grateful than to feel happy.
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,087 Member
    i know what it is to be addicted. its a terrible need. the draw to continue the behavior can be so strong. you are doing the right thing. you are in a place that will help you with recovery and you are working with a psych doc to help with your mood. its not easy dealing with addiction and bi polar, so i give you a lot of credit. you should give yourself a lot of credit too. this is a one day at a time kind of thing.

    i struggled with addiction,and i'm bi polar. i made a decision that i was going to stop the drugs i was on. i decided that i didnt want to live that life anymore. thats what it took for me. then i found a good psych doc that helped me find the right mix of medication. all of that took me over 15 years. this will not happen overnight.

    give yourself a break. do the best you can with each day your given. allow yourself bad days, and do your best to have good days. if your moods are all over the place, work with your psych doc to get the right mix of meds. this is a marathon not a sprint.

    i wish you all the luck with your recovery.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,419 Member
    There is a lot of human misery here...and everywhere.

    The kind of feedback you may get here could be good or bad...this is not always the best place to share these kinds of personal struggles.

    You will sort this out. It may not happen overnight, but keep searching and learning. It's 100% up to you. We all have crap to deal with.
  • ertrauma
    ertrauma Posts: 46 Member
    My golden rule is to always "Do the right thing". You are. Continue to make the right choices, and if you make a mistake, own up to it, make amends for it, and don't allow it to become another reason you can't suceed.
  • ladyofbugglake
    ladyofbugglake Posts: 37 Member
    I will pray for you! I have several people I really care about addicted to various substances (and am not a stranger to it myself), and I've seen how easy it is to relapse. I always say that "I may not be strong, but God is. And through God, I have the strength to stand strong against my addiction."

    Regardless of your religious beliefs, the belief in a higher power is something that all recovering addicts must embrace. We may feel that we ourselves are weak, but who could doubt the strength of our higher power? And if we feel that higher power wants good for us (and he does, I promise), then that should help us approach life with boldness and courage. I like to imagine God as an army standing behind me. In my mind, he is like a huge transformer-type thing. lol And flanking him are all of my friends and family. So even if you feel really weak at any given moment, just remember that army standing behind you. And keep touching base with that army: pray, call your friends, meditate. It will be harder to forget when you are regularly talking to them.

    I'm not a super religious person, but this has helped me alot. And remember, there is no shame in "failure." There is only shame in not trying at all. Just keep trying!
  • FatIsNotGood4Me
    FatIsNotGood4Me Posts: 45 Member
    It's quite hard to tell you stuff as I'm not walking in your shoes, I just wish you luck and pray that your 11 year old and your husband are your motivation to success, I've seen people loosing everything including dear ones because of pill addiction, and they wouldn't reach out for help, you are and I commend you for that, please keep fighting and keep reaching out to a doc and a therapist.

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