The Heartbreak Diet

baristanatorLL
baristanatorLL Posts: 34 Member
in Motivation and Support
I found out my boyfriend of 8 years has been having online affairs and sexting and God knows what else. I'm losing weight, but probably not the healthy way. My insides are churning, my heart is breaking, and eating makes me physically ill. I feel so alone. Maybe I shouldn't be part of a weight-loss website, but people are so positive on here and are so focused on health that it helps me emotionally. Right now I'm trying to eat really high calorie foods since I'm eating so little and really trying not to back slide into my high school eating disorder, but I can feel myself starting to crumble.

Replies

  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    You're trying to deal with a major emotional issue and the resurgence of an ED? You need to talk to a professional to help you get it all sorted out so you don't end up on the wrong path.
  • baristanatorLL
    baristanatorLL Posts: 34 Member
    I know, I have an appointment with a counselor scheduled. I'm 30 now, so my eating disorder was years ago, but I feel my brain slipping into those destructive old habbits.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    I say stay on... It's ok to hurt. I nderstand that pain. But focus your energy on making toy better. It's better for you he shows his true colors now.
  • alliemarie77
    alliemarie77 Posts: 378 Member
    You're trying to deal with a major emotional issue and the resurgence of an ED? You need to talk to a professional to help you get it all sorted out so you don't end up on the wrong path.

    I agree with this whole heartedly. I hope you find your happy again soon.
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
    Yeah, definitely don't try to take this on by yourself right now, and don't try to draw the majority of your strength from an online community. Friends can be an amazing resource, but a severe emotional shock combined with a serious issue like ED needs more insight than an open community can provide. I hope that things get better for you soon. Try to stay strong!
  • Leeann1979
    Leeann1979 Posts: 1,090 Member
    I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know right now its hard, but once you have begun to heal, you will see that you are much better off without him and you will be glad you found out and got rid of him. Good luck to you. You deserve better and will end up a stronger person. Try to snack on healthier, calorie dense foods, like nuts or peanut butter so at least you get some calories. I know when Im depressed I hardly eat anything. And try to stay hydrated. From my past experiences, I always drank too much coffee, ate too little and smoked too much.

    Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • tekwriter
    tekwriter Posts: 923 Member
    If that is your picture you are a lovely girl and so much more deserving of something better in a relationship. I am sure it is hurting. I think since you are aware of the those renewed feelings and are still watching what you eat, you will stop yourself. This is something that you can stay in control of and you need that right now. Sorry for your pain.
  • NanaWubbie
    NanaWubbie Posts: 248 Member
    I am so incredibly PROUD of you!!!! (((((HUGS)))) ...you found out NOW, before you married the SOB. You can see the red flags!!! You are smart......dust yourself off, shake it off and MOVE ON!!!! I left a horribly abusive marriage after 13 years.....I lost so much time........you know,,,you have to kiss a lot of frogs before you meet that prince. He is out there.....I found mine.
  • NanaWubbie
    NanaWubbie Posts: 248 Member
    Focus on you and do not settle. Period.
  • Prayforya
    Prayforya Posts: 68 Member
    I am so sorry that you're enduring this heartbeaking season in your life right now. I know it sucks. I am glad you have an appointment with a counselor. The fact that you can see and feel yourself "crumbling" can be a good thing because it means you recognize the signs and can take preventative steps to ensure you don't spiral again. Its good to have virtual community (feel free to add me if you'd like) but please ensure that you have 2-3 close, supportive, people in your life, offline, who know whats going on and can support, encourage and hold you accountable. If you live alone, sometimes it can be nice to crash with a friend for the weekend or something, just to have someone around to be a friend when you need it. It may not feel like it now...but it gets better. :flowerforyou:
  • baristanatorLL
    baristanatorLL Posts: 34 Member
    Thanks for your support, guys. It is one thing to know in your head what to do, and another thing to do it. I know that thought patterns like these are based more around control than anything else, and because I feel like my life is slipping out of control I'm thinking this way. I just can't seem to focus on what is going on because it hurts too much. Sorry---I'm know I'm dumping. I am a single mom and I work full-time and don't have many friends. Your words of support mean a lot to me. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I know. Thanks for being understanding.
  • SlimSumday
    SlimSumday Posts: 379 Member
    I'm so sorry. Best you found out now. Head up, move on. Do what's best for you. See a shrink, talk it out with anyone that will listen and then go on a wonderful, wild, fun girls vacation! Better times are ahead. Trust me. You go girl!!! :flowerforyou:
  • maiaroman18
    maiaroman18 Posts: 460 Member
    I had very self destructive behaviors in the past, and it took a lot of therapy to get to a place where I no longer fall into old habits, no matter how much pain I feel.

    But, stick with it! If you need motivation, you can FR me.
  • paradisochick
    paradisochick Posts: 83
    Thanks for your support, guys. It is one thing to know in your head what to do, and another thing to do it. I know that thought patterns like these are based more around control than anything else, and because I feel like my life is slipping out of control I'm thinking this way. I just can't seem to focus on what is going on because it hurts too much. Sorry---I'm know I'm dumping. I am a single mom and I work full-time and don't have many friends. Your words of support mean a lot to me. I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. I know. Thanks for being understanding.

    Sending all the best your way! I can totally relate to where you're coming from :) You will be alright.
  • SisBenita
    SisBenita Posts: 15
    Hi!!Im so sorry that this has happened to you but you deserve better than that!! God is able to help your heart heal! Focus on God and your kids sweetie! Im a single mother of 3 boys and also a first time granny to a beautiful 6 week old girl, you can do this! Be encouraged! Dont give up! You can add me to your friend list also of you like!
  • gettinfitaus
    gettinfitaus Posts: 161 Member
    He's a jerk but the best revenge is to live well. Not to fall back into destructive habits. You have got this, you just need to believe in yourself that you do.

    I'm sorry that he hurt you it really really sucks. That's all there is really.
  • queenjustine03
    queenjustine03 Posts: 28 Member
    Stay strong. :) Look at all your supporters! There is not one single person who doesn't belong on this website, which is why I love this website. Nobody is judgemental. I wish you all the best through your hard time. Professional help is a great idea. The struggle is completely understandable. If there is anything I can do, add me as a friend, let me know! But my whole heart goes out to you. :)

    Everything happens for a reason. :)
  • sam308lbs
    sam308lbs Posts: 1,936 Member
    8 years dear god!:noway: The fact that you even posted this tells me how strong you really are..Any normal person would not be here right now.You are way more stronger than most people i know so i am sure you'll get back out there very soon.You got this girl!:flowerforyou:
  • baristanatorLL
    baristanatorLL Posts: 34 Member
    The love and support from all of you moves me to tears. I can't tell you how much it means to me. It seems strange that it would matter, coming from strangers, but somehow it means more. I think it is because friends and family have to say these things, but when a stranger tells you, they are going out of their way to try to help. Anyway, thanks. :smile:

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