I feel like i'm doomed to fail!

20lbs in 5 weeks is a lot to lose, even for someone with 100 lbs to lose. It makes me wonder how you lost it and whether what you were doing was something you could sustain permanently. Sometimes it's better to go slower, knowing that you can keep doing the things that you'll need to do to keep it off.

It's true that when you decide to stop trying, that's what happens. It's equally true that you can decide to do something about your situation, make a commitment to yourself and succeed. You are only doomed to fail if that's the choice you ultimately make.

If you look at this as a temporary thing - things you need to do until you get the weight off - then you are decreasing your chances of success. What you need to do is work on coming up with a lifestyle that you can love with forever, while creating the ideal conditions for you to be a healthy weight. I'm sure with a wedding coming up that you feel a sense of that "I must do this now" desperation, but please don't fall into the trap of going so drastic that you either lose the weight for the wedding, go back to normal and gain it all back plus more (this is very common) or, not even get there and burn out long before the wedding happens.

So, to get past the feeling that you're doomed to fail, you need to do things differently than you did before. Make up your mind that this is going to happen, that you're going to adopt a lifestyle that allows you to be the size you want.

Don't drop the calories drastically, or give up all the foods you like, or start forcing yourself to do exercise that you hate. Focus on calories in/out first, eat the foods you like and fit them into your calorie goal. You can still have takeaways from time to time - how often depends on how easy it is to fit them into your goals. The actual content of your diet will probably change naturally anyway, but I really don't recommend making drastic changes that you aren't going to live with after a few weeks.

Basically, don't turn this into "being on a diet". Just live your life, and use calorie counting as a tool to make sure you're eating the right amount. I don't know if you'll lose all the weight you want to by your wedding, but you can definitely lose a large amount of it. You already have the motivation, you've just got to make that commitment!

One sentence that you wrote is the key to your success: "I started again." You may have taken a break for a while, and that can be discouraging and detrimental, but you're back and you know what you did. Keep going. You've lost the weight before; you can lose it again, this time with the full knowledge that you have to stay on track. I'm glad you have recovered from your illness, and you have the strength to do what you need to do! Hang in there.

exactly! before if i wanted ice cream, id eat AT LEAST a pint, maybe 2! but instead, i treat myself to a weight watchers ice cream snack (SO GOOD!) or skinny cow...both around 100-150 cals which definitely beats the pints i was eating at almost 2000cals!!!

i started january 1st like a lot of people. i was not working and it was winter time. i have an elliptical at home too. i lost weight very quickly. we were pretty broke. so it was easy to watch my eating and exercise like crazy. i had my mom and friends challenging me everyday. we would text one another trying to beat each others exercise times. we were trading recipes and having fun with it. my fiance is slim and pretty fit. he would challenge me on the elliptical a lot. he could handle higher resistance levels from the beginning. and i had friends on facebook who set up a challenge. everyone threw down 25 bux and the winner got the pot. everyone would talk crap and have fun trying to lose weight.

here we are in may. my fiance turned into a fitness nut. spending tons of money on pedal bikes and can beat and exceed me in everything i try. he toned up and doesnt have an ounce of fat on him. all my fitness buddies gave up. then i found a job. nice that i got one. but working 10 hour shifts and saturdays sometimes. with my fiance so crazy about fitness, he got lazy too. all the house work, lawn work, etc is falling on me. i have two gym memberships but im so tired and on the go, that i hardly use them. and i got lazy with my eating cause now i have the money again the go to the drive through or eat convenience foods again! kinda doesnt work to work a ten hour shift, go to the gym, and then be crazy hungry and want a burger from a drive through! but its crazy how your life and circumstances can ruin your progress. i totally understand.

a few weeks ago, i thought it would be fun to try running. i have never been a runner and they have a colorvibe run coming to my area. so i went in hard and hurt my knee and shin splints. so this made it hard to get cardio in. excuse of course! so i slowed down. then the ten hours. excuse! then i got really cold sick and was working ten hours! so i didnt do anything. more excuses! then i started cheating myself. yes i would mow the yard and get exercise in. but i would get cravings like ice cream and chocolate. so i would get treats from the gas station i would not record. i figured i earned these. but a daily treat sure does not help you lose lol! excuses again! and only cheating myself lol!

i have lost 55 pounds in 5 months. that i am proud of. i go up and down by 2 or 3 pounds. but i have not gone up thank god. but i am not losing which is disappointing to me. but in the beginning i would tell people that your progress only is determined by how much effort your willing to put into it and being honest with yourself. if you work hard, you will lost. if you slack off, well, you see what happends. you dont lose and gain sometimes. so only you can make it happen. and i for one need to take my own advice!

Another important thing to remember is burnout. Going really hard really fast is a good way to burnout fast. Your motivation is going to be HUGE going in the first time, because you're more determined than ever to lose the weight and do really, really well. However, the first few weeks of counting every calorie and eating nothing but good food and exercising every day may feel like the right thing to do (and sure, it may be), but eventually you'll get sick of it and give up if before you were the polar opposite.

The easiest way to not burn out is to make small changes, gradual ones. Add in a half-hour of walking each day. Drink an extra 2 glasses of water. Eat half a chocolate bar instead of a full one. Those are sustainable, and while you may be anxious to lose the weight RIGHT NOW!, it takes patience and small steps in order to avoid burnout and loss of motivation. Celebrate the small goals, and remember how long it took to gain the weight -- that's may be how long it'll take to lose the weight, too.

My friend, you are not doomed because you are picking yourself up and beginning again!!! That is success!!!!! Be proud that you are willing to begin again. I have been on a roller coaster most of my life with the weight going up and down. I was well over 300 lbs and, little by little weight would come off. When I reached 250, I thought I was in heaven and forgot to be cautious about what goes in my mouth and, the weight slid back up some. At the doctors office back in January, I weighed-in at 2072 lbs! I thought for sure there was something wrong with the scale but sure enough, I was at 207 lbs. Again, I slipped up and I am now at 227. My physician has a fitness trainer at his office and, I met with her and she ran tests and printed information as well as a better way to eat menu for me and, tomorrow I begin again with a positive attitude and, a smile on my face. My goal is to get to 185 and, come heck or high water, I am going to get there. So you see, you are not doomed to fail, you are destined to win!!!!! :happy: