Feeling Discouraged.

Irishdeathbat
Irishdeathbat Posts: 11
in Health and Weight Loss
I have been heavy my whole life. Being thrown out of windshield, stress, foster care, parents divorce, ive been through it all and i associate this with my weight issues. Its hard especially since ive been using eating as comfort ever since i was very young. I am so discouraged right now. I was 14 yrs old the last time i was in the 100's. I am 293 right now. I get so stressed and want to eat chocolate, chips, starches, you name it, i just wanna eat. I am fighting it right now even. I dont get whats wrong with me, i feel horrible if i dont eat what im craving. I get irritable and snippy with everyone. How can i stop this?!?! I go to therapy every 2 weeks and talk about all of this, but my therapist is 5 foot and maybe 100lbs (not joking) so i dont think she understands. I want to be healthier for myself and my son. I reminicse about even being 215lbs I looked so good at that weight. I feel like after I had my son back in january '12, i just kinda stopped caring, and ballooned back up. i was 315lbs at the beginning of 2013. So my question is HOW CAN I STOP THIS BINGE EATING!?!?!
WHY CANT I STAY FOCUSED WHEN I GET STRESSED?!?!
IS ANYONE ELSE HAVING THE SAME PROBLEMS?
HELP.

Replies

  • Trixxie90
    Trixxie90 Posts: 32 Member
    I can't answer your questions. I'm not a doctor or a therapist. I'm someone with terrible eating habits who loves to treat myself when I feel like I deserve it and I usually always deserve it. I can tell you that the only person who can control you is you. I can tell you that Dr. Phil would say Get Real with yourself! Do you get snippy when you don't eat chocolate because your body is physically in need of it, or are you angry that you've deprived yourself? Because I can tell you I get angry when the answer is No.

    You can do this! You don't think you can because it's hard and you've failed before but Honey, You GOT this! You can make these changes. It's hard. It SUCKS! It takes work and dedication and a lot of No. But ....

    You Can Do It!!
  • Angela7zFit
    Angela7zFit Posts: 53 Member
    Sounds like a rough day. We all them where things seem impossible, where the stack of things going against us seems to high to climb. You need to remember you are strong you have made it through all of those challenges and can succeed despite those who said you could not or would not. Its okay to have a pity party once and awhile, but you need to pull up your big girl pants and march on. YOU CAN DO IT. The chocolate and chips and everything else are not as strong as YOU!!!!

    I find keeping to schedule and preparing meals is the best way to stay focus especially during the days or weeks of struggle. Don't beat yourself up so much. I also find my exercise routine is key to help with the stress and "low" days.

    Good luck on your journey.
  • Trilby16
    Trilby16 Posts: 707 Member
    Take it one day at a time. Log your food. Find friends here. Keep your diary open so you will feel accountable to your friends. They won't rag on you, but you will want to do well in their company. When your feed says you stayed under your calories for the day, they will give you props. It's nice. It helps.

    Start to exercise, taking it slow at first. Take a walk when you feel like eating. You have a young child? Push him in the stroller-- he will enjoy it and you will get exercise. You will "earn" more food by exercising. This is what finally got me to exercise-- this website teaching me the connection.

    No one can do it for you-- you need to start now and do it.
  • jakkisr
    jakkisr Posts: 175 Member
    I can't begin to pretend to say I know where you're starting from as I'm only small and at my max weight of 137lbs your task seems awesome. What I can say though is this, shifting 10lbs seems too much for me some days and it isn't going easily, but y'Know what? on the days I take control and really think about my health and my diet, I feel amazing! I feel so good that I did something good just for me, it's in my power, I can do it, and I darn well did it! ( I wish it was 7 days a week instead of maybe 3 though :/)

    I do hope you can use your power and take control. Good luck on your journey, you can do this, you're the one in charge now, not the past - look to YOUR future, grab it! Go for it!
  • lunamo14
    lunamo14 Posts: 18
    Hey,

    you already took the first step and join MyFitnessPal where you can get encouragement from a lot of people. Don't get discourage. Take your journey one day at the time and by changing a few things here and there, you'll feel better about yourself and you will want to eat better...for you! and for your health!!!!

    Here is a quote that I like" Nothing is impossible, the word itself says "I'm Possible"

    Add me as a friend if you want and we can help each other.

    Caroline
  • lookitsbecc
    lookitsbecc Posts: 22 Member
    I found that I need to replace the binge eating with something else. I have a very addictive personality which leads to me latching on to things quickly. Try finding something that will take your mind off of your problem and away from binge eating. I find it helpful to FORCE myself into the company of others. I'm alot less likely to binge if someone is in the proximity.
  • iwillwin1313
    iwillwin1313 Posts: 55
    I can't say I know how you feel, but I can sympathize.
    To me, it sounds like you just need to get rid of the foods in your house you're tempted to binge on and replace them with healthy alternatives... When you go shopping, go with a list and get in and out of the place as fast as you can so you don't buy what you don't need/will binge on.
    Hope I helped :)
  • herblackwings39
    herblackwings39 Posts: 3,930 Member
    I was 383 lbs and ate almost all the time or at least it felt like it. Now, I don't cut foods out. I don't see "good" foods and "bad" foods. It's food. If I really want a cookie or chicken mcnuggets I'll have that. I just have one serving or a kids meal. That way I've had what I wanted and by having a smaller amount it doesn't do as much damage to my day. Most of the time I'm still a bit under my calorie goals. It's also gotten easier to eat a single serving because I know if I want it I can have it later.

    I think that was the main thing. I learned that once I give myself permission to have something there can be no guilt. I'm not doing anything wrong so there's no reason to go back later and play what I "shoulda/coulda done" in my head till I feel like a useless lump of crap. I want it, I have the calories for it, I eat it. Track it, which is most important, and move on.


    I'm not sure there's a one right way though. Start small I guess. If you're not comfortable with the above maybe try earning your cravings with a walk or if you really can't control yourself around certain things maybe keep them out of the house and when you feel more prepared reintroduce the things you truly miss?

    I wish you the best of luck.
  • allshebe
    allshebe Posts: 423 Member
    If you don't feel like your therapist understands, can you find a different therapist who maybe does? The "doctor"-patient relationship can be a little bit like a marriage. If you aren't a good fit for each other, it might not work out. There are many different therapeutic approaches, do you have some local mentors who might be able to help you find a better match (teacher, clergy, friend, gp, ...)
  • ailoveme1st
    ailoveme1st Posts: 9 Member
    I find that I sometimes feel the same way. I have the hardest time trying to control what I eat, I work in a place where there is always donuts or some type of snack, but I have made it up in my mind that I will just have to learn how to say NO!!! and really mean it and stick with it. The easy part was to put the weight on and now the hard part will be trying to break those habits that we have formed to make a better you and me.
    I started on today with juicing and I truly hope that I can stick with it!! I am going to replace one meal a day as for now then I hope that I will be able to increase to two until I get to my goal weight. I brought the ideal to the family on yesterday and they were to my suprise very supportive and we all started to come up with ideals on different drinks that we can all drink and I also bought a juicer.
    We have to start somewhere and with something, make one change and see how that works for you!!!
  • dscruggs898
    dscruggs898 Posts: 2
    I don't have as much to lose as you do, but I have tried many times to lose what I need to lose and failed. I have just re-joined the gym (Planet Fitness). I can't do a lot right now because I am 54 (almost) and way out of shape, but a little exercise is better than none at all and I am trying to do a little more each visit. Before I always had an excuse why I couldn't go... house cleaning to do, laundry, grocery shopping, but I have decided this time to make going a priority no less than three days a week. I enjoy cutting the grass, so I also do that to burn calories. You should find an inexpensive hobby to turn to whenever you feel the urge to eat. I have learned to crochet this year and it has really helped me. That may not be your niche, but there IS something that is. You CAN do it. You just have to have the right mindset, which I never really had up till now.
  • n32sanagar
    n32sanagar Posts: 6 Member
    Change your lifestyle,start with small steps,give yourself a year,go to freedieting.com to figure out your ideal weight,and calculate your calory requirement.losing weight is %90 mental,I promise you weightloss,you won't believe .
    Past is past ,it will not come back,your future is in between your eyes.last but not least WILL POWER!!!!
    Eat fruits for sweets
    Eat protein for hunger
    Veggies as much as you want
    No fast food. Good luck
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
    Overeating is an addiction. The only difference between an eating addiction and a drug or alcohol addiction is that you can live without the drugs and alcohol. So the addiction you have to break is the act of OVER-eating. Check your local area and see if they have an Overeater's Anonymous. There will be people there who do understand and can help you through the steps to overcome this.

    I also agree with the other posters that you may want to seek another counselor that does understand. Try finding one that deals specifically with eating disorders or food addiction.

    Some suggestions for the short term -

    Get all of the junk out of your house until you learn coping strategies that help you turn elsewhere for comfort in times of stress.
    Plan meals and snacks in advance and stick to them. Log EVERYTHING, even when you cheat. You have to be accountable to yourself.
    Don't short yourself calories. MFP tells you 1200, that's probably not enough. Google TDEE calculator and find out how many calories you should be consuming based on your activity level.
    Start some moderate exercising - walking is a great start.

    I wish you great success! Feel free to add me if you want an encouraging supporter.
  • Inliter
    Inliter Posts: 2 Member
    You have a lot of good ideas in all of these posts. I can't help you with binge eating, but have some idea's that might help. First, check with your doctor about getting help with planning meals. When you feel like you need to binge - go for a walk, take your child to the park. Also, watch the high fructose corn syrup in foods, it is addictive and can only be processed by the liver, after which it turns into triglycerides and then into fat.

    Good luck and keep in touch - there is a lot of support here.
  • Retiredmom72
    Retiredmom72 Posts: 538 Member
    I know the feeling. I am an emotional eater--eating for comforting to forget and get through the situation. Mfp has been good for me because I know I am not alone. I have setbacks when stressed, but nowhere where I use to be. I was the person who could eat what was in front of me and not even be able to tell you what I had just eaten. Some foods I have had to stay away from completely until I get control of myself. It is not easy. I have gone to therapists for various things in my life and what I finally realized is that the therapist can listen and lead me through a discussion with myself. I couldn't change for them.

    I realize that this is truly my journey. I set small goals for myself. If I want some food, I get it or something with similar taste and make sure that it fits into my calories for the day. I can now eat 1 Hershey's kiss to get the chocolate taste. I can drink a diet drink but I drink a cold glass of water first. I plan my meals and try to vary what I eat. If I need more calories, I exercise. I have a Fitbit and I aim for 5000 steps a day. If I am short, I will walk or dance during commercials to met that number.

    Do I get stressed? Yes! The past couple of weeks are the perfect example. I had two deaths that really affected me. I stayed away from sweets, especially chocolate. It was hard when I wasn't cooking and was on the road traveling thousands of miles and not being able to come home when I wanted. I am back on track. I gained a little by I am working hard to get back to where I was and then meet my goals.

    I truly thank all of my mfp friends who have supported me. When you are discouraged, find something other than food to distract you. We are in this together. You are not alone.

Categories