Losing weight without relapsing into an eating disorder.

midgetme
midgetme Posts: 4
in Health and Weight Loss
Can anyone help with this? I have lost 10kg already (I gained 20kg through having children), the last ten kgs I really want to lose to feel comfortable with myself but I am starting to have the same thought patterns that I associate with very disordered eating in my teens. I am trying to keep my calories up to what it suggests on here (as my problem is the speed at which I lose weight). I don't really want to go down the counselling road and I haven't spoken to anyone in my life about it as frankly I don't want to be watched (dangerous sign for me). It has taken me a long time to get up the courage to lose the last 10kg as I know I risk changing my goalposts.

Replies

  • pluckabee
    pluckabee Posts: 346 Member
    http://www.coachcalorie.com/disordered-eating/
  • autumnrunning
    autumnrunning Posts: 103
    Sometimes i feel as if i'm eating too little calories, my goal is 1200 and i rarely eat it full, have lost 5 kg but so much more to go...

    i'm planning on reaching my goal weight and then bulking and doing some strength/toning, so far all i do is cardio.

    I'm also afraid to relapse into ed downward spiral, but i'm not feeling weak or woozy and getting enough rest and food so i think until my health is fine, some lesser calorie days won't matter, just help me lose weight faster by eating less, then more, them mediocre amounts, it keeps things moving.
  • v6s30
    v6s30 Posts: 43
    I suffered from anorexia and then binge eating disorder, and so started on the same road as you.

    This is what worked for me..

    First of all, I had to get rid of any time pressures or goals. It is not going to happen as fast as when you loose weight unhealthily - and that's a very positive thing.
    I spent 5 months (just because that is how long it took for me), without expecting ANY weight loss whatsoever. I spent the 5 months getting into healthy routines, eating intuitively, learning about my true hunger signals and trusting food and my body. I did loose a little weight in this time, but that wasn't my aim. I had to learn about when I actually need food and when my I actually tend to get hungry. I learned how much food my body wants at different points in the day. Then I eventually set a realistic calorie deficit.

    Now... I do record my intake - but I tell myself every day that GOOD is better than PERFECT. Perfection is not the aim! Some days will be better than others, and sometimes you will be hungry even when you've maxed out your intake for the day. I always eat something when this is the case. A big salad or soup or something like that. Even if it makes me go over my intake, it is better than being hungry and better than loosing it and giving up. Good is better than perfect.

    It's important for you to also spend the time that you are loosing weight doing some sort of positive project that has nothing to do with the diet. Something fun and pointless. No goals whatsoever. I am TERRIBLE at drawing, but I thought who cares, so I bought a big canvas and every day I add a little doodle to it. A cute little drawing. It's getting pretty cute now!
  • BarackMeLikeAHurricane
    BarackMeLikeAHurricane Posts: 3,400 Member
    Start lifting. I don't have an eating disorder but before I started lifting I sort of "didn't see the point" in eating. Now when I eat (which is always right after lifting) I know those nutrients are going to good use to build muscle.
  • midgetme
    midgetme Posts: 4
    Thanks for the link and posts; I'll keep checking into see if anyone else has any gems.

    Justsoranbo- I appreciate the idea, I'm sure it would be helpful for some people; I'm not sure if it's a good coping skill for someone that has/had an eating disorder :)
  • smalls9686
    smalls9686 Posts: 189 Member
    First let me say I am proud of you for seeking any guidance, it is a first step. Two, I am a licensed therapist and recovering E/D person myself with that said I am in no way giving you official medical advice as I don't know all your history...now that I have that disclaimer out the way :-) I have a few questions for you. You mentioned not wanting to go down the counseling road or wanting to be watched? Why is that did you have an unpleasant experience? I would suggest considering a possible local support group for weight management for people in/recovery from E\D it's not as intensive as one on one therapy and is cheaper and keeps you on track. Most major cities have some type of program, added perk is that they have dietitians and nutritionists that understand "triggers" that other well meaning professionals don't. Just some things for you to consider, thing about, and possibly spark ideas. Good luck. Feel free to message me and I will assist or direct you any way I can. Also, they can prescribe medication, depending on the E/D you had for example if you were a binger than there is a medication that may be ideal to put you on while you are actively losing so you aren't triggered to binge and purge. I just urge you to consider all your options and be safe. Having E/D is similar to being an addict, you are never really cured you just manage.
  • MinnieLou92
    MinnieLou92 Posts: 36 Member
    I am recovered bulimic and anorexic and am, well, on a diet and exercise regime. But I like to see it as more of a healthy living lifestyle choice, which means MODERATION. I am gunna give you some tough love, but it doesn't sound like you are ready.

    Do not try and diet when you are not in a safe place emotionally.

    Simple as. You need to focus on learning to be comfortable with your body as it is (lumps and bumps and everything inbetween) and you have to learn to be okay with moderation and balance. I recommend you get some professional treatment.

    Nobody has a perfect body, but for people with ED's the hatred towards yourself is intense. Whilst you might not like your body, you have to learn to treat it right. Starving, binging, purging...it's going to KILL you.

    If you're having to ask this question, you need to get some help and stop trying to change a body you will never love, no matter how small it is, no matter how much you diet.

    You need a solid foundation before you build a house, and it comes with time.
  • MinnieLou92
    MinnieLou92 Posts: 36 Member
    Start lifting. I don't have an eating disorder but before I started lifting I sort of "didn't see the point" in eating. Now when I eat (which is always right after lifting) I know those nutrients are going to good use to build muscle.

    THIS. Lifting has actually made such a difference in my life. It must be something to do with feeling strong, like your body is carrying you and a machine weapon!
  • midgetme
    midgetme Posts: 4
    I really appreciate your post smalls - I don't like the thought of being considered out of control and unable to cope; I also can't go to counselling without involving extended family due to having to get care for the kids etc. The only weight management thing locally for me is weight watchers as I'm in a very small town (2000 people); I know I can be referred for counselling as (not being in the USA) it is funded and easily available here. I've never binged but I did purge in my teens after small meals; one thing that surprised me on here is how much I can eat, I can't quite 'believe' the calories sometimes.

    I really considered myself fully recovered as I had been improving since I was 17 when my sister confronted me; I gained weight at first because I knew that I would be confronted by more people if I didn't and I felt very resentful of it at first. Being recovered enough to be pregnant was a huge victory for me, I remember going out and buying scales as I had a legitimate reason to have them. I have put my children first through 4 years of pregnancy and breastfeeding, I wasn't comfortable dieting because I knew I would be at risk. It has been a decade since I consider myself to have had an eating disorder.

    After my youngest was born I had PND and I went the Dr; he prescribed and antidepressant and said "It suppresses appetite so it will take care of the weight as well". It really took me aback as my BMI at the time was 25-26 and I thought I was an appropriate weight for someone with a 2 month old baby. I gained a bit of weight and then lost it over the next 1.5 years but his comment immediately ignited those old thoughts in my head and they have been simmering since.
  • midgetme
    midgetme Posts: 4
    Bump for more input.
  • confetti_blind
    confetti_blind Posts: 91 Member
    It depends on your triggers and every person with an ED history is different. You don't mention whether you had an exercise addictions linked to your ED. If you were never tempted to overdo the exercise (and were more of a restricting type), I think that exercise could really help you.

    Weighing and scales and calorie counting can be incredibly triggering. So can MFP in general. In all honesty, it would probably be better to close your account here.

    My advice would be to focus on 'health' and try not to focus on calories or on weight. Just eat what you think is healthy and exercise too. Learn to love your body and don't focus on the 'numbers'.
  • sadfille
    sadfille Posts: 1
    I have a similar worry, however not the same problems, but the weight gain after recovery worried me slightly as i steered off to becoming a little bit on the heavy side, still not overweight but just not how my body should naturally be. However once i tried losing weight, i ended up relapsing and am now fighting my worse relapse to date. I think maybe as you suffered in your teens however and not so recently you may be able to keep control, but i think you need to be self aware as to make sure you do not accidentally slip into old habits once again.

Categories