WEIGHT LOSS/WEIGHT GAIN AND MARRIAGE.

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Hey everyone! I just wanted to get a thread going on how weight loss or weight gain as affected your marriage.

When my husband and I got married, I was 230lbs. (30lbs heavier than when we started dating.)
Then this past January, I weighed in at 275lbs.
I didn't really think it mattered much to him, but in one very serious, honest discussion about my weight, he told me that he wasn't nearly as attracted to me anymore since my weight gain and he was also worried about my health and ability to have a child in the future.
So, since losing 54lbs, he's much more attracted to me again and he and I have our amazing sex life back.

Now, just wondering if anyone else has experienced same and/or similar situations and how you feel about it.

Thanks guys!

Replies

  • timbotina
    timbotina Posts: 1,130 Member
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    My husband has always been supportive of me no matter what I weighed....When we first got together I was thinner (because I was young--24 years ago--highschool sweethearts) I weighted about 150lb and thought I was big then (5'8")....then when I got married about 16 yrs ago weighed about 175lb....then at my heaviest about 235 a few years ago.....my husband has always shown love and affection and when I would ask him about my weight he would always say he thought I was beautiful and just a bigger girl--and say I was active and not getting big my just sitting around.....but I must say, loosing this about 45 lbs. has kind of made him a little more "flirty" with me you might say......and I am ambarassed to say our private relation (know what I mean) has always been great...... a little long but hope this helps!!!
  • WeightingForSara
    WeightingForSara Posts: 122 Member
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    My husband has always been supportive of me no matter what I weighed....When we first got together I was thinner (because I was young--24 years ago--highschool sweethearts) I weighted about 150lb and thought I was big then (5'8")....then when I got married about 16 yrs ago weighed about 175lb....then at my heaviest about 235 a few years ago.....my husband has always shown love and affection and when I would ask him about my weight he would always say he thought I was beautiful and just a bigger girl--and say I was active and not getting big my just sitting around.....but I must say, loosing this about 45 lbs. has kind of made him a little more "flirty" with me you might say......and I am ambarassed to say our private relation (know what I mean) has always been great...... a little long but hope this helps!!!

    Thanks for your honesty! My husband always said he loved me and I was beautiful, and it took a lot of me going, "come on man, I've gained 75lbs, no way you think I'm as hot as I once was" about a billion times for him to be 110% honest with me. Glad he did though, because him finally saying it is exactly what I needed to get my butt in gear and I am so thankful to him for that!
  • Dreaj79
    Dreaj79 Posts: 212
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    My husband expressed concern over my getting pregnant in the future. I was about 230lbs when me met and 253lbs the day we married.I got as high as 275lbs. As far as physical attraction goes, I cannot deter him. Lol. Even when I stopped wearing sexy lingerie to bed. He even finds my tweety bird nightshirts sexy. Lol. I shudder to think what he will be like when I can body double for Beyonce. ;) Sorry if that was TMI.
  • kiki4916
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    Actually, my husband is the overweight one...I kept looking at him and thinking how much I wished he would do something for his health and confidence that I didnt realize I was gaining weight! I started losing weight to get him on board, and it worked! He lost 60 and I lost 70, then I started to slack and so did he...so I am getting back into it to hopefully motivate him. He knows I adore him, I just want him around a long time and I want him to adore him. And we have a baby boy so we want to be a good example. :)
  • AMOMONAJOURNEYTOCHANGEHERLIFE
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    Both my husband and myself have gained weight since we married just over 5 years ago. I think my weight gain has affected our relationship a lot more then he's weight gain. I'm much harder on myself then anyone. I've actually yelled at him for not saying something to me sooner after seeing myself in photos. IDK why I didn't really see how big I was before that. Of course if he said something that probably wouldn't have ended well LOL

    But sometimes it makes me mad how "blind" his love is. most people would be grateful for love like that. And most of the time I am.

    I haven't lost enough weight for me to really see or feel it yet. So my weight is still bothering me and that definitely negatively affects our sex life. I try not to let it bothering me I know it doesn't bother him. I swore I would never be that lights off kind of person. But I am now which annoys me to be that way. I'm trying hard not to be. I know it frustrates him. It's like with this extra weight I am a completely different person. I can't wait to be me again.
  • WeightingForSara
    WeightingForSara Posts: 122 Member
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    Both my husband and myself have gained weight since we married just over 5 years ago. I think my weight gain has affected our relationship a lot more then he's weight gain. I'm much harder on myself then anyone. I've actually yelled at him for not saying something to me sooner after seeing myself in photos. IDK why I didn't really see how big I was before that. Of course if he said something that probably wouldn't have ended well LOL

    But sometimes it makes me mad how "blind" his love is. most people would be grateful for love like that. And most of the time I am.

    I haven't lost enough weight for me to really see or feel it yet. So my weight is still bothering me and that definitely negatively affects our sex life. I try not to let it bothering me I know it doesn't bother him. I swore I would never be that lights off kind of person. But I am now which annoys me to be that way. I'm trying hard not to be. I know it frustrates him. It's like with this extra weight I am a completely different person. I can't wait to be me again.

    I definitely agree with you about the whole "him not saying anything" thing. My husband never said anything either, as I'm pretty sure all men are told not to say anything about that sort of thing, but I sure wish he would have before it got out of control.

    My husband always expressed that he thought I was beautiful and loved me not matter what... but they can't fool me. No man is going to be attracted to a 275lb woman when he was saw/had her much smaller and much *better* before. I know he loves me, and loved me at any size - but me changing the way I feel about MYSELF on the inside and on the outside has made our relationship SO much stronger.