How do u decide when you've reached your ideal weight/look?

Sophiad16
Sophiad16 Posts: 23
in Health and Weight Loss
I finally reach my "goal" weight 2 weeks ago, and I have mixed feelings about it. On the one hand, I am very happy and grateful to have reached my weight loss goal, and I have gained so much more nutrition knowledge, food balance, strength and stamina.

But on the other hand, I feel like now it's not enough- I have tried to lose weight for so long (beginning in Jr. high) that I don't know how to just be here, and now I am looking at myself thinking "Well, maybe just 4 more pounds".

So how do all of you other MFPers decide when enough is enough?

Replies

  • Nikita839
    Nikita839 Posts: 10
    Its hard to put a number on it isn't it? I would love to say that I want to drop 30lbs, but I am not sure what I will look like. So, How do you feel? Its not the scale number.. its your look. ;)
  • Pearsquared
    Pearsquared Posts: 1,656 Member
    I will probably re-evaluate after I reach my goal weight, but Nikita is right - a number doesn't really tell as much as the mirror.
  • lizsmith1976
    lizsmith1976 Posts: 497 Member
    Maybe focus on other health/fitness goals for awhile and then step back and evaluate? At a certain point it is not really the number on the scale anymore, it is how you feel you look naked - body composition.

    Think about setting a goal to run farther or pick up heavier things or spend a month at goal weight and see how you feel.
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
    Agree with the others - How you feel and how you look in the mirror are different things. Yes it's a number on the scale... that's my biggest thing I'm overcoming is that "it's not about the number on the scale", when I'm so numbers based.

    You could always lose 4 more fat pounds, or gain 4 pounds in muscle. It all comes down to how you FEEL and that you like the way you look and feel.
  • Retrieverlove
    Retrieverlove Posts: 64
    I would say get to your goal weight and then make some other goals to keep you going and healthy such as 5K races or walks, toning with weights, etc. Great job for getting to your goal!
  • kgoodman0108
    kgoodman0108 Posts: 158
    Based on a healthy BMI, calculators say a normal range for me is 101 - 136. I once weighed 110, and that was a little too small for me. I'm petite but very curvy, so I know I need to be closer to the higher end of that range. My goal weight is 125, but as I get closer I may tweak my goal. I might get to 125 and feel that I need to lose another 5lbs, or may get to 130 and be happy there.
  • Sophiad16
    Sophiad16 Posts: 23
    Yes, that's true. I think I look pretty good, and I know I look relatively "slim". But I guess what I mean is that it's hard to find that place (mentally) where I am content. I have been on this hamster wheel of trying to lose weight for so long that it's hard to mentally get off it! Does that make sense? Oh, and then there is that part of me that thinks "I *think* I look good...but what if I really don't?"
  • Shampres
    Shampres Posts: 64 Member
    The scale is a a good way to monitor weight loss, but that's all it measures. Since you've reached your goal weight (congratulations!!!), I suggest you use other means of measurement for fitness, like body fat. If you have a gym membership, they can do an analysis for you, or you can use a tape measure and do a tape test. You could also set other goals like "I want to do twenty pushups without stopping" or "I want to run a 10k in an hour". That way you have measureable goals that will really give you a measurement of strength and fitness, not just a goal weight. It seems like getting too hung up on the scale leads to an unhealthy body image, and that's exactly what we're here to combat.

    Again, congratulations on reaching your goal weight. That in itself is an accomplishment!
  • Sophiad16
    Sophiad16 Posts: 23
    And thanks ladies- you are so RIGHT about the number on the scale. I tend to get fixated on that more than anything else; I need to focus more on body fat comp. and inches!
  • fiferize
    fiferize Posts: 141
    I agree with your other posters however sometimes Mirrors are deceiving. I have seen so many young woman look at themselves in the mirror and be skin and bones and still see FAT. It's your perception of how you look that gets you. I think you should ask your doctor and your family what they think. If they think you are at a good weight, then just work to maintain that weight. Good luck your journey! Your story is inspirational!
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    change your focus from weight to body fat percentage. Losing 4lb is not going to change how your body looks. However dropping your body fat percentage by a few percent can make a huge difference, and you may get heavier in the process, but end up carrying less fat and so look slimmer and fit into smaller clothes as a result.
  • Sophiad16
    Sophiad16 Posts: 23
    Thanks, that is great advice (trying to keep up w/ posts, haha!). I will definitely think of a fitness goal to keep me motivated, and to help turn my attention from the number on the scale to a fitness goal! :flowerforyou:
  • Unknown
    Unknown
    This content has been removed.
  • dmaloof2013
    dmaloof2013 Posts: 134 Member
    Along with what some of the other people are saying, you could start focusing on toning, inches instead of pounds, body fat. That type of stuff. I am no where near my goal weight, but I think that is what I will do when I get there.

    EDIT: you could also start pushing yourself to do something physically that you haven't been able to do (i.e.: 5K, 1/2 marathon, etc...), if that's your speed
  • themommie
    themommie Posts: 5,033 Member
    that is a very hard question and a very personal choice. i am in the same boat. My original goal was to lose 100lbs then i got there and said well maybe 10 more i got there and said well maybe 10 more. I have lost 115 lbs and my daughter and mom told me this weekend that i need to stop , that I am looking too gaunt, my husband says i look fine and if i want to lose 5-10 more lbs then go for it, ME I am confused, not sure if i should stop or not, either way i need to focus on toning. Sorry I am not much help. I think it is where you feel most comfortable, if you lose a little too much you can always put 5-10 lbs back on I think we are experts at that, but the idea of gaining weight terrifies me....... :(
  • peleroja
    peleroja Posts: 3,979 Member
    I'm having the same issue right now. I'm at the ideal weight for my height and frame, have about 21% body fat and a BMI on the low end of healthy, but I don't feel thin yet. I want to lose another 5 or 10 and being on maintenance is more stressful than losing was for me. My boyfriend doesn't want me to lose more, so I'm focusing on strength training and running endurance, because I thought that having some new goals would help (lift so many pounds, run so far so fast) but honestly, I just don't feel finished, you know? So no advice, but definitely understanding.
  • socioseguro
    socioseguro Posts: 1,679 Member
    Congratulations on achieving your weight goals. You must be proud of yourself.

    I am happy if I am in the "normal" range of Body Mass Index (BMI). Not overweight and not underweight.

    I have also reached my weight objective.

    Next goal: Body Fat, here I go

    Good luck in your journey
  • Sophiad16
    Sophiad16 Posts: 23
    Everyone, thanks for your input it is soooo helpful! And TheMommie, yes that is exactly how I feel and just hearing your story is helpful! YOU are also very inspirational, congrats on your WLJ!!!
  • Sparlingo
    Sparlingo Posts: 938 Member
    Maybe focus on other health/fitness goals for awhile and then step back and evaluate? At a certain point it is not really the number on the scale anymore, it is how you feel you look naked - body composition.

    Think about setting a goal to run farther or pick up heavier things or spend a month at goal weight and see how you feel.

    Love this advice. When you've focused on the scale for a long time it's easy to lose perspective.

    Especially when you're so close to your goals, that scale number isn't going to be your most useful indicator of success. I think it's a brilliant idea to make physical fitness goals instead, then check back with the scale and mirror (and my favourites: measurements and pictures) in a little while and see where that got you.

    That way you can spend some time loving what your body looks like, and loving what your body can do!
  • Sophiad16
    Sophiad16 Posts: 23
    **And thanks for all of the congratulatory remarks, it was definitely a struggle but yes I am happy to have reached my goal! :blushing:
  • jessichri
    jessichri Posts: 81 Member
    You've said it yourself..you look slim. You "think" you look good. To me this means you now need to work on your self-confidence more than your body. I'm not saying don't keep toning and being healthy, just realize you have other goals too. Find ways to boost your confidence and make you feel sexy so there is no more of this "I *think* I look good" and more of "I *know* I look good!"

    I don't think this is easy for anyone and its probably why its soo easy to get to an unhealthy place weight wise and how people can take weight loss too far. (not that you have of course) You'll get there! You look great..its just time for your brain to catch on. :)
  • CJ_Holmes
    CJ_Holmes Posts: 759 Member
    First off, congratulations! I personally think it is a great idea to switch to a performance mindset at this point, and see what your body can DO, not just what it can look like.

    Maintain the goal weight for a while, and figure out some things you would enjoy achieving. What would make you feel like a bad-*kitten*? If you can lift more, do pull-ups, master a dance move, swim the butterfly, or run a race, I bet you will also continue to see some visual changes.
  • MysticRealm
    MysticRealm Posts: 1,264 Member
    I'll know I've reached it when I am happy with what I see in the mirror. Right now it's looking like I will need to lose more than I initially thought but will re-evaluate when I get to my original 'goal' weight.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    This is why I get so annoyed when people obsess about an arbitrary number on a scale...a number that is made up of various ratios of skeleton, water, fat, and LBM. Having a goal weight is pretty meaningless without knowing and understanding what your BF% is going to be at that particular weight. I look much different at 5/10" and 180 Lbs and 19/20% BF than my buddy who is 5/10" and 183 Lbs and 12% BF even though we're just three Lbs apart. He's ripped...I look decent enough, but I look a little silly walking around with my shirt off next to him at the pool or something.

    At some point you have to focus on your overall health and well being...set fitness goals that go beyond just calorie burn and work on those...eat proper and get your nutrition and everything else tends to fall into place over time...a lot of time.
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
    Its hard to put a number on it isn't it? I would love to say that I want to drop 30lbs, but I am not sure what I will look like. So, How do you feel? Its not the scale number.. its your look. ;)

    I agree with this. I went into my weight loss work thinking I wanted to be 140-145. After the work I've done the last few months, my husband says I look better now at 158 than I did when we got married when I was 145. I have a little ways to go I think, but I might end up getting to 150ish and then just concentrating on body composition.

    Listening to the advice on here and picking up some weights was probably the best thing I could have done (even though I'm still progressing).
  • ChgingMe
    ChgingMe Posts: 539 Member
    do what feels right. you know your body. For me I'm trying for a size 7/8. I have no idea what that weighs on me, but i know that will look and feel right.
  • Melissakay1222
    Melissakay1222 Posts: 74 Member
    It was within the last month or two that I reached the goal I had set for myself. I did the same thing you are doing now by questioning your goal. I felt like I would be happier with my body appearance if I lost a few more and so I set my goal about 3-4 pounds lower than I had originally set it for. I ended up being right . . . . so I can tell you that you will know when you finally reach that place where you are happy and content. Congratulations to you . . . . and now the fun begins. Sometimes I think maintaining is harder than the initial loss . . . . just getting into that groove that works for you . . . but you can do it! Enjoy it and never take it for granted . . . . you are awesome!! <3
  • waldo56
    waldo56 Posts: 1,861 Member
    So how do all of you other MFPers decide when enough is enough?

    There is no such thing.

    Always improvements to be made.

    Keep going forwards or you'll find yourself going in reverse. Or not notice (or stop caring), and be back where you started, or even worse.

    9/10 people that lose weight end up gaining most/all back. Be a one.

Categories