Asked to be in a wedding in a month. I'm the only fat one.

PurplePixxie
PurplePixxie Posts: 7
in Motivation and Support
My cousin asked me to be in her wedding as a bridesmaid. The person who was supposed to be in the wedding party backed out.

I'm the only fat one of this group. The highest weight of the other 4 bridesmaids is 120 pounds. I'm... 219.

I have a month of do something to make myself at least a little thinner.

How much realistically can I lose in a month? I'm not planning on doing anything stupid. I'm just going to eat "clean" for a month.

Fresh vegetables, chicken, and probably oatmeal for breakfast. I'm also going to start walking tomorrow. I'll be drinking only water, which is what I do now anyway. My downfall is sugar and carb items.

I'm going to look like Stay Puft Marshmallow Man in the wedding pictures. I know I just have to deal with it, but I'm really upset with myself for getting this big to begin with. :(

Any advice?

Replies

  • shayemimi
    shayemimi Posts: 203 Member
    Your friend obviously doesn't care about your size, but I understand that YOU do...

    You're not going to lose a lot of weight in a month, and you shouldn't, but it could be a start getting you healthy for the long term.

    Last year, when I started working on my weight again, (at 218 lbs),I had about 6 weeks till my 25th wedding anniversary party . I ordered a dress off the internet, and was concerned it wouldn't fit. It did, but was tight. I lost 12 lbs before my party! My dress fit better and I felt slimmer, and that helped me look and feel better.

    SOOOO, start now to improve your health, but don't try to do anything drastic. Make changes in your diet, but eat, don't starve, your body needs fuel to burn, start walking and moving as much as you can/have time for. Take the stairs, etc. Drink a lot of water. If you lose even 5-8 lbs you'll feel great, and even tho you'll be a bigger size than the other girls, you will be beautiful!!!

    THEN after the party, keep going!! That's what I did, just don't stop. Become the new you that you want to be! You can do it!! :D
  • shayemimi
    shayemimi Posts: 203 Member
    Oh, and add me if you'd like. :)
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
    Realistically, you will have probably have your final dress fitting in two weeks. If you lose more after that, you will probably end up looking worse because your dress will no longer fit right. Your cousin wouldn't have asked you to be in her wedding party if she was concerned with your weight. That doesn't mean you can't make healthy choices this month - just don't make yourself crazy to make major changes overnight.
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    your going to be better off getting a corset and do the shrink wrap and bengay trick. I'm sure you can find it around. Basically right before stuff yourself into constricting stuff and work on losing water weight.

    Work on eating at a modest calorie deficit and working out!! its just not going to happen in a month, sorry.
  • loseit4ever12
    loseit4ever12 Posts: 53
    I feel ya. I am the only fat girl in my sisters wedding on Saturday. I had plans to be thin and it didnt happen. it's only going to make me work harder at this so that I will never be the fat girl again. I just trying to focus on my sister and it being her day and I'm not worrying about myself. Just relax and have fun.
  • TXGirl821
    TXGirl821 Posts: 115
    When I was in my 20s, I was a bridesmaid 3 time in the span of a year and I was always "the fat one." But just eat well, exercise, and know that everyone's eyes will be on the bride. Just have fun, this is a special day for your cousin and you're lucky she wants you to share in it with her! :)

    Oh, and spanx or a corset. LOL Invest in them. That's what I did!
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
    There isn't a whole lot you can do in a month. You can definitely lose some weight by then, and feel better about yourself.
    I would use this as motivation to get healthy, and keep the good eating habits after the wedding too. Maybe this little kick in the butt is exactly what you needed.
  • MyJourney1960
    MyJourney1960 Posts: 1,133 Member
    Get started and do the best you can. I won't tell you not to worry about it because obviously this is bothering you. Drink a lot of water, exercise as much as you can and try to stay off bread ( I find that bread masked me puffier).

    Do you know what you'll be wearing? Can we help you with that?
  • michealshottie
    michealshottie Posts: 1
    I know how that feels. I go out with my friends and it's hard when I see other women looking so cute in their outfits with no sleeves, or curve hugging ensembles. Yet, I think the goal is to not think of ourselves in a negative way, and realize that we are beautiful no matter what. Ask for help from the bridal shop for ideas on how to mask what you feel are problem areas. Have fun and just be you! I've seen weddings where women tried to fit into much smaller dresses just to keep up with the other bridesmaids but ended up just looking bulgey, so pick something that makes you feel comfortable, but hugs in all the right places. Let's do it together! I lost 46lbs and had some problems in my life where I gained most of it back. It's so difficult to start again knowing where I was just a year ago, but it's time to just do it. Whatever happens you are on the right track, don't do it for anyone but you!
  • bill323
    bill323 Posts: 100
    You can definitely lose a substantial amount if you are just going to start out with a new diet. Cut calories and do one of those 30 day programs.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    There isn't a whole lot you can do in a month. You can definitely lose some weight by then, and feel better about yourself.
    I would use this as motivation to get healthy, and keep the good eating habits after the wedding too. Maybe this little kick in the butt is exactly what you needed.
  • CarolElaine25
    CarolElaine25 Posts: 102 Member
    Just one thing to keep in mind: you may not look as strange in the wedding party as you think you will. And you're probably much lovelier than you think.

    About seven years ago I was a bridesmaid in my sister's wedding. She's quite thin and I'm not. I was easily the largest woman in the bridal party. The rather attractive photographer whispered to me, "You're gorgeous," as I passed by him when I was walking down the aisle with the usher. I noticed that, while he did his job and got all the pictures he was supposed to get, he seemed to point his camera at me an awful lot.

    I concur with the others: eat healthfully and exercise so that you feel comfortable in your own skin. But don't get down on yourself for not magically losing 50 lbs in that time. And don't assume that you won't look lovely on your cousin's wedding day.
  • justwanderful
    justwanderful Posts: 142 Member
    You have one month. Change what you can. Ignore what you can't. Go ahead and try to trim some weight, or not, but don't make this your number 1 goal. It's not that important. At weddings, people enjoy and remember other people who are smiling, enjoying themselves and having a good time. That being said, focus on the four things you have total control over.
    1. Your hair. If you're still wearing the layered look with bangs that you had in 7th grade, see a professional stylist and update it.
    2. Your make-up. Go to a professional and get the most current look that brings out your natural beauty.
    3. Smile. Smile. Smile.
    4. Attitude. Bring and keep a positive attitude at the wedding, no matter what happens.
    Get your hair and make-up done professionally. Smile. Bring and keep your upbeat, positive attitude at that wedding. Smile. Talk to everybody. Mingle. Dance. Have a good time. And, did I mention, Smile. That's what will make you attractive and stand out. It's what will make you the first runner up in the pizzazz department, after the bride. It's also what will show up in all the pictures that will be taken. Do this and the bride will be thanking you till eternity for being a bridesmaid in her wedding.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    ^great advice here!

    You won't be able to lose much in that time. Instead, get a rocking look that will help you project confidence. And really, a smile is all it takes to make you look just as good as those other ladies :)
  • auteurfille22
    auteurfille22 Posts: 251 Member
    As you start out on what I hope will be a continued journey towards health and confidence, remember that only so much will come off in a month. Don't let the pictures demotivate you afterwards or make you want to give up - this could be a great thing - maybe in a couple years you'll look back and say, "I'm so glad I got to be a bridesmaid in that wedding - it was the start to my new healthy and fit lifestyle!"

    Oh, and I'd recommend doing something like the 30 Day Shred - it's tough, but people have AMAZING results from it, and do lose a lot of inches - although this could be risky when working around dress fittings and such. It depends what kind of a timeline you have.

    And remember, confidence is key - smile, hold your head high, and be proud of who you are and what you look like - a happy, confident wedding party will set the tone for the wedding, and in any case all eyes should be on the bride.
  • PurplePixxie
    PurplePixxie Posts: 7
    I wanted to thank everyone for the support. Reading these made me see that it won't be as bad as my mind thinks it will be.

    I talked with the bride and she had me a woman who could do a dress alteration the Thursday before the wedding.

    I did my first 30 minutes of the 30 day shred video. I thought I was going to die, but I stuck it out. Even if I lose nothing in a month, I'm at least starting. I need to stay positive.

    Thanks again! After reading the replies I'm actually not dreading it anymore. :)

    Hugs to everyone!!
  • shayemimi
    shayemimi Posts: 203 Member
    Please keep us posted on how you're doing! I love the advice on hair and makeup- and smiling, lol. :) Don't forget great posture also goes a long way to making a person look and feel confident and attractive. Congrats on your first day of 30 day shred. Let us know how that goes. I've never done it , I may have to give it a try! :D
  • Xenophonica
    Xenophonica Posts: 79 Member
    Don't think about it as "only having a month" but as "having a whole month"! I'm in a similar situation as I'm now to be in a friend's wedding September. Its a bit further away, but I'm a decent 280ish pounds, and would also like to not be the fattest one up there. I bought a dress and just made a goal to look better in it by that time. JM's 30 Day Shred is beneficial, as well as general support. Add me if you'd like :)
  • bonelessskinless
    bonelessskinless Posts: 147
    Think of the wedding pictures as some professionally done "before" pictures. They will look great next to your "after" picture like 6 months from now.

    If that doesn't help get a mani-pedi and eat better than everyone at your table.
  • desiv2
    desiv2 Posts: 651 Member
    Work on your confidence, it will make you look a lot better if you appear confident. You aren't the only one to have gone through this, and people wont be thinking about how 'fat' you are. Get a good pair of spanks or some type of slimwear, make your hair awesome, get a tan.. these things will help.... I was afraid of the same thing, but I got a lot of compliments from others that day and even when the pictures came out.. so I realized that I was being too hard on myself at that moment.
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
    Learn to love yourself JUST AS YOU ARE right now.

    Try not to worry about what everyone else looks like. Just wear the dress that you're supposed to, and let the hair and makeup fairies work their magic.

    Then, stand up straight. Be confident. Even if you're not confident, just pretend like you are.

    Worry about losing the weight after the event. Prior to the event. work with what you've got and be the gorgeous person that you are.
  • Moosycakes
    Moosycakes Posts: 258 Member
    Being larger doesn't mean you won't look beautiful! :)
  • mkyle1988
    mkyle1988 Posts: 19
    I completely understand how you feel. Just understand this....stay on your regiment, and stay away from the pesky sugar, and you'll see results more quickly than you can imagine. You will soon look back on the wedding photos and realize that USED to be you.

    Good luck.
  • toyota
    toyota Posts: 33 Member
    I am going to be in a wedding in 4 months. I too want to lose some weight by then. I am the Groom's Mom. And me & the Bride's Mom will be walking down the isle together to light candles & be seated. She is slim, I am 229 lbs. I am going to try to lose some weight.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    Don't stress this. You're not going to lose more than a couple of pounds or so in such a short time, and if they asked you, they wanted you, so either refuse or go as you are.

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