Struggling 44 year old woman

Hello everyone,

I've been on this site for a few months and am making little to no progress. I love the fact that I can actually see what I'm doing day-by-day, but am still having a hard time staying on track. I need more friends (so friend me) and inspiration to stick with the goal of becoming more healthy (not just "thin"). :bigsmile:

Weight loss has never been easy for me as I wasn't blessed with a high metabolism. Now that I'm 44, have a sedentary desk job and still love sweets, salt and wine...holy guacamole is it tough! The hardest part of the day is the evenings. Any suggestions to help me stick with a light supper, get some exercise, etc. would be greatly appreciated!

I recently started a new job and had to buy some new office clothes. That was depressing as I had to buy pants and skirts in sizes I've never seen before. I have a closet full of smaller, cuter clothes but they freak out and protest in agony whenever I attempt to put them on! :noway: So please help me end their suffering!

Much appreciated and have a great day! :happy:

Mary
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Replies

  • Jennjo322
    Jennjo322 Posts: 74 Member
    Welcome! Congrats on the new job and we are all here to help!!
  • jpinge
    jpinge Posts: 71 Member
    Hi Mary, I am 44 as well. I would love to be friends with you and help you with this journey. My highest weight was 286 pounds and I have lost over a hundred and I am more fit now then when I was 20 :smile: Just know that it is a process....nothing done over night or the easy way is going to last forever. Slow and steady....calories in calories out has how I began my journey and how I continue it today.

    Feel free to add me and I will help you as much as I can :smile:

    Jennifer
  • BreaksGirl
    BreaksGirl Posts: 9
    Awesome Jennifer! You've already inspired me! I'm at my highest weight right now...a whopping 190 pounds...yuck! I'm only 5/5 tall so this is way too much for me! I'm not looking to be a skinnie-minnie..just want to get down around 140-ish. If I were toned and in cardio shape, I think that would be ideal.

    Let me know what you did on those "hard" days...hours...minutes...to get you through!! Way to go on your loss...this is what I need to hear!

    Thanks!
    Mary
  • BreaksGirl
    BreaksGirl Posts: 9
    Great!! Thanks so much!!! I need it! :smile:
  • CherylP67
    CherylP67 Posts: 772 Member
    Awesome Jennifer! You've already inspired me! I'm at my highest weight right now...a whopping 190 pounds...yuck! I'm only 5/5 tall so this is way too much for me! I'm not looking to be a skinnie-minnie..just want to get down around 140-ish. If I were toned and in cardio shape, I think that would be ideal.

    Let me know what you did on those "hard" days...hours...minutes...to get you through!! Way to go on your loss...this is what I need to hear!

    Thanks!
    Mary

    Hi Mary, I'm 45. I'm currently at 184, I started at 198.4. I'm also 5'5. My goal is to get to 139. I've been at this a month. I also love wine, and guacamole :) . Better than losing weight is the getting healthy; it's odd, but I get more satisfaction from meeting my exercise goals for the week or my calorie goal for the day than the weight on the scale. I think the reason for this is because I've always obsessed about the numbers on the scale and actually making myself accountable and seeing the results is new to me. I'll send you a friend request.
  • hmeahl
    hmeahl Posts: 8
    I am 43 and had lost weight 5 years ago and kept it down for 3+ years, then somehow over the last year and half I have "found" 30 lbs and don't really know how they got here ! I am back to counting calories which is what really worked for me in the past. Bottom line is you have to keep your calories down and for my height (5'4"), anything over 1200 will mean weight gain. I thought I had it all figured out and quit counting and it just crept up on me. I will also say that I feel that stress TRULY affects your weight. Though I am finding it hard to control. I can relate to the evenings being toughest. I do good through the day, then snack late. I am reevaluating and will keep you posted on any breakthrough great ideas I come up with ! Good luck and just keep going and log EVERYTHING you eat - it makes you accountable.
  • alawilliams
    alawilliams Posts: 20
    You have started a journey that isn't easy, but is definately worth it. HW 250, CW 177.4, Turning 40 this year and I am in better shape than when I was a teenager. Your age is just a number as your weight is. To eat less..... drink a bottle of water 10 mins before EVERY meal, eat slowly, and cut out the carbs. This is the best quickest way to jump start your new lifestyle. Focus on eating as little processed food as possible. Fresh fruits and veges are your friends. With time, you will start to see a difference. My biggest struggle was cooking for my family and knowing I couldn't eat what they wanted (red meat and potatoes), so I would cook me a chicken breast and a vegetable. I now have to force myself to eat at night. I'm not hungry but I know that not eating will shut down my metabolism (did that a couple weeks ago and realized I was consuming only 500 calories a day, but I wasn't hungry). With time, you can succeed. Just remember we all have off days (I still have that occasional time where pizza calls my name and I can't resist). Don't forget that you have a MFP family that has been exactly where you are now. Lean on them and they will never fail to encourage you when you thought it wasn't possible.
  • ravenbard
    ravenbard Posts: 51
    Hi there newbie. I am a newbie of one day myself. I would love to be your friend although I am older than you are but maybe a tad wiser? lol Losing weight is always hard, even for the younger ones but it also is an individual choice for many reasons. If you want to become my friend, I would cherish that idea and sincerely hope that is what you decide. I applaud you in your decision to take control of your weight or fitness, probably both... Good luck in your endeavor... hugs
  • staplebug
    staplebug Posts: 189
    When I was teaching, I would eat great all day, then come home and pig out. It was so hard to stop because I was tired and stressed. I've also ready articles that link will-power to glucose levels in the brain, so when you are exhausted, you are more likely to make bad food choices. Try taking a nap when you get home from work before you start snacking. That always helped me!

    Good luck with your weight loss, maybe your closet of smaller and cuter clothes can be your motivation!
  • loywi1
    loywi1 Posts: 20 Member
    hi Ladies, I'm 43. I'm new to MFP. I did the last 3 months with Wweight Watchers and in the past, WW has always worked for me, but this year, I just can not lose weight. In 3 months, I have lost the same 4# every week - up/down/up/down. so I quit paying $ and logged in here. I set this up awhile ago but never really used it. The tracking is easy and I love the scanner, I already feel like I can eat more on this plan than WW. Am I doing this right? I'm going by what MFP set for me as calories and just trying to stick to that. Any other advice? Do you plan your day in advance? are there any tips - do you eat after 3pm? do you eat fruit?
  • Hezmia
    Hezmia Posts: 19
    With a few exceptions I could have written this post! I am in EXACTLY the same situation. I have been on MFP for quite a while and I have still gotten no where. It is my fault completely and I know that but I just can't seem to stay on track. Evenings and weekends are the worst for me. I am the same age as you and I have the same slow metabolism. Please feel free to friend me and perhaps we can keep each other motivated and figure it out together. :smile:
  • mark_in_mo
    mark_in_mo Posts: 19
    Hi, and welcome, and your story sounds familiar. 44yo here as well.
    Lately, what's working for me is 50% calories early, 30% calories midday and 20% calories at night.

    White stuff (bread, rice, potatoes, pasta) are totally out. Not even an option ever.

    Good job on the new job and YOU CAN DO THIS!

    Mark
  • tweetyjf
    tweetyjf Posts: 48 Member
    hi i know the feeling. same here, same age and little progress
    perhaps we can support each other

    if you like you can add me..

    good luck!!!
  • 50 Y.O. here. Bad heart valve, so cardio is out.

    Down 15 lbs so far this time.

    First diet was from 230 to 160 over a period of time. The thing that really worked for me was when I came to the understanding that a great deal of weight loss is between the ears, not the mouth. MFP is a great tool to add to your kit, but it's no replacement for mental exercises. You can set yourself up for an excellent day. You don't even have to worry about the struggle. You can get your sub conscience to do it for you.

    Another tool I use is Atkins bars. I get them for a buck each. 6 or 7 dollars a day. Good nutrition. Never hungry. Eat as many as I want. Never reach my calories.

    I also switched from sitting to standing at work. That helped.
  • You sound so much like me!

    I am 40 and at my highest weight ever which is really only 10lbs from what I consider "acceptable" but weekends are so hard, I negate everything I did right during the week. I have been on MFP for a long time and have only managed to lose and gain the same 3-5lbs.

    I also love wine, guac, sweets and salt (mood driven). I should probably stick to 1200 calories to actually lose weight, but I can only do it for a few days and then I over compensate.... I have trouble controlling portions. I know what a portion size is, but I don't stop at that. I set my MFP calories to my BMR 1450. I can stick to this ok during the week - most of the time, but the weekends kill me. Another thing that I notice REALLY helps is drinking 10-12 cups of water/day. This also suffers on weekends for me.....

    I have a desk job and travel 2-3 times a month (which adds to the calorie mess).

    I am working out 4-5 days a week. Mixture of boot camp classes and running days. Only 30 minutes a day. I have noticed better toning in my upper body almost immediately, but the scale hasn't moved (which is ok if other things are happening) and my clothes don't fit any better.

    People are so amazing on here - losing 30, 60, 100+lbs and I suck - can't even lose 10, let alone my "goal" of 15.

    Feel free to add me as a friend and we can encourage each other. I know I need it.
  • Fishing4Life
    Fishing4Life Posts: 1 Member
    I have been doing this for about 5 weeks now. I lost about 5 pounds in first week and I haven't lost a thing since. I am so frustrated. I pretty much stick to the calories i have. I walk and eat pretty well. I go off a little on the weekends but not to extreme. I am 54 and I feel your pain. I unfortunately am in menopause and have a thyroid issue which doesn't help matters. Good Luck and i need help and support too. This is the first time I have written anything. Pam
  • squaregum
    squaregum Posts: 33 Member
    Also forty ish here.
    Feel free to add me for motivation and support.
  • jzammetti
    jzammetti Posts: 1,956 Member
    Bottom line is you have to keep your calories down and for my height (5'4"), anything over 1200 will mean weight gain.

    I am only 5'2" tall and I eat 2000 calories per day and am still losing. So, OP, please do not follow this advice. 1200 is too little.

    OP, I have the same night time issue - but I just leave room in my calories for that snack I know I will have right before bed. last night it was 3TBSP of peanut butter but sometimes it is ice cream or a piece of fruit or a protein bar...just depends
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    Hi Mary. My advice, if evenings are tough, is to *not* have a light supper. Try saving the majority of your calories for supper and a satisfying evening snack.
  • nsaglian
    nsaglian Posts: 29 Member
    Take from an older male who had NEVER controlled his diet - until I started in Jan 2013 - this is the best way to lose weight and still enjoy comfort foods. No wheat (except in higher fiber reduced effective carbs tortillla wraps and bread) , rice, pasta (my Italian heritage makes this a bit difficult), potatoes, really any starchy vegetable (corn and peas).
    But you can have plenty of meat, even fatty stuff. Basically I have restricted carbs to 125 grams a day, total calories 2000, with three vivits to the fitness center a week, burn 250 calories on treadmill and 450 calories resistance training. I beleive low carb is the path to success with living a healthier life.
  • KellySue67
    KellySue67 Posts: 1,006 Member
    Hi Mary~ losing weight and sticking to it is tough! I am 46 and have lost 50lbs over the last nine months. My highest weight was 270 and I am now down to 218. I still have a considerable way to go, but this site has been very helpful. My biggest issue has been portion control. I have started to eat six smaller meals spread throughout my day as opposed to eating breakfast, lunch and dinner. This has helped me enormously! I have sent an invite, so please feel free to contact me any time. :flowerforyou:
  • nsaglian
    nsaglian Posts: 29 Member
    50 Y.O. here. Bad heart valve, so cardio is out.

    Down 15 lbs so far this time.

    First diet was from 230 to 160 over a period of time. The thing that really worked for me was when I came to the understanding that a great deal of weight loss is between the ears, not the mouth. MFP is a great tool to add to your kit, but it's no replacement for mental exercises. You can set yourself up for an excellent day. You don't even have to worry about the struggle. You can get your sub conscience to do it for you.

    Another tool I use is Atkins bars. I get them for a buck each. 6 or 7 dollars a day. Good nutrition. Never hungry. Eat as many as I want. Never reach my calories.

    I also switched from sitting to standing at work. That helped.

    Love the Atkins bars, part of my daily workday diet.
  • cinahynds
    cinahynds Posts: 1
    Dear Mary,
    I cannot say that I am in the exact situation as you are, but I definitely can empathize with the discouragement and frustrations that come along with starting a weight loss program.

    I am approaching 30 this year. I am five feet one inches tall and I have a "small" weight loss goal of 15 pounds. I also have exercise goals (i.e. be able to run a mile in under 10 mins and gain a little muscle tone). I figured with calorie restriction and exercise, I would be able to hit my weight loss goal in 1-2 months.

    It's been 36 days on my diet and I have lost only 3 pounds. Which means I am averaging .5 pounds loss a week. For me, this is overly frustrating!!!!!! As I have dieted in the past and could lose 3 pounds in just a week... not in 5 weeks! HOWEVER, whenever I would do such diets, I would quickly gain the weight back.

    As other posters have pointed out: slow and steady really is the way to go. It is harder to gain weight back if it was lost slowly. I am finding that if I have a cheat day (e.g. my recent anniversary dinner splurge), my weight doesn't horribly spike up the next morning. I like that. I am also finding that my body is slowly adjusting to the lower calorie intake and I am no longer "constantly thinking about food." Like I would when I would go on my other crazy diets.

    I feel much happier and healthier on this "new lifestyle change" I am on. (I hate saying "diet" because I really do feel that I really am making a permanent lifestyle change this time around). So, I am slowly teaching myself to not be too concerned with the number on the scale, and focus more on how I feel.

    Plus, I like to think that if this pace keeps up... I would reach my weight goal by the end of this year... and really, that isn't too far out! Thinking that way (i.e. thinking about the end goal) helps me deal with the slow pace. AND, if I don't reach my weight goal... at least I made a lifestyle change for the better and my body will thank me for it in my later years.

    Anyway, here are things that have helped me a lot:
    1. I keep close to the paleo diet:

    http://paleomg.com/
    http://www.theclothesmakethegirl.com/


    2. I LOVE the exercise videos from The Firm and do them about 2-3 times a week... I have off and on been using them since high school... my ol' high school boyfriend's mother introduced me to these videos... she has been using them since the 70s... and at 50 years old, she had a better body than I did when I was a 17 year old... here is their website: http://www.firmdirect.com/firm/ecs/main/index.html

    3. I run 1.5 miles 3 times a week. That's it. I don't do more. I started out with a slow jog (seriously averaging between a 11 min to 12 min mile... practically almost walking speed). I kept with that pace for a good solid 3 weeks... One day, I was running a 10 min mile! I think easy does it is the way to go. The running isn't meant to give back a lot of calories because it doesn't... it's just to keep my heart and lungs healthy :)... A weight + aerobics exercise like The Firm videos is much better when it comes to calorie loss.

    P.S. I don't get a runner's high that all those runner freaks claim you get.

    4. I measure my waist every two weeks. I have lost about an inch. So, I am finding that to be more motivating than my scale.

    Hope this helps!
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    Hi Mary. My advice, if evenings are tough, is to *not* have a light supper. Try saving the majority of your calories for supper and a satisfying evening snack.

    This sounds like it might work for you! if evening is when you are the hungriest, eat the majority of your calories after the work day.
  • themanda04
    themanda04 Posts: 60 Member
    don't beat yourself up. this is hard work. :)

    i've found that what works for me is to pre-log all of my meals. if i plan ahead, i've found that i can make much more deliberate choices for dinner and snacks at home and very rarely go over my daily cals. i also think of my daily cals as money in the bank. i buy my food with my cals. :) so it really comes down to 'can i afford to eat that today?' if i can afford it, i eat it...even if it's pizza.

    i see from you profile pic that you have kids, which can make eating and shopping a challenge. my son has zero weight problems, so i don't restrict his eating/snacking habits. he's also a teenager, which means i doubt i could even if i wanted to. ha. so if he buys junk that i think might be tempting to me, i make sure he keeps it out of my sight. that did mean buying a mini-fridge for his room and some of those plastic storage drawers, but it's effective. might seem extreme, but if it works for me i'll do it.
  • shelbysp8
    shelbysp8 Posts: 131 Member
    Hello Mary!

    I'mm 44, 5'5 and weigh WAY more than you at your highest weight! SO I understand the struggle. Feel free to add me as a friend; I am on everyday ( my husband says I am obsessed).

    Also, trying to pinpoint the right calorie intake is a little difficult. I found this and have been following it so you might want to give it a try too.
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974889-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet

    Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • Lovelyloralee
    Lovelyloralee Posts: 20 Member
    I'm 44 and struggling as well. Been doing MFP for two months and found this has been the most successful attempt yet. I have lost 22 pounds in 65 days. (Mind you, I have a ton more weight to lose than you, but it's finally coming off!) I have found eating cleaner and having to honestly write everything down has made a huge difference. Since my diary is public - I don't want people to see me eating junk so I have made better choices! I sent you a friend request - let's do this together!
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
    Also, trying to pinpoint the right calorie intake is a little difficult. I found this and have been following it so you might want to give it a try too.
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974889-in-place-of-a-road-map-short-n-sweet

    Good luck! :flowerforyou:


    a GREAT LINK! if you haven't read it yet, read it!
  • HJMAYES
    HJMAYES Posts: 72 Member
    Hey Mary!
    I am 39 and weight loss doesn't come easily for me either...we weren't blessed with that apparently. ;) But what does come to you, and should, is the recognition that you want to make changes in your life and your health - and be very happy that you know that and want to do something about it because most people dont. So congratulations on taking positive steps toward making your life healthier!
    Rule #1 - don't beat yourself up over it - set backs, cupcakes, didn't choose to work out days, second helpings...blah blah blah...the list goes on. Stay positive and be upbeat to yourself, especially when you are talking to yourself in your head. It's easier to be nice to someone and stay positive when they are kind, the same goes to when you are nice to yourself.
    Rule #2 - get consistent. I have a schedule, everyday, and I work at a desk job too. I make time for breaks and snacks. All day long. My snacks are healthy - I dont' even go near the vending machines. I get up and walk around every hour - even just to go to the bathroom. Keep moving.
    Rule #3 - drink water (thus the bathroom trips) like a gallon a day. seriously. I have a water jug that is full in the morning and it better be empty at night. half the time, I'm just drinking out of it to make it lighter to carry!
    Rule #4 - find FUN workouts, things you enjoy. Not everyone's cup of tea is running on a treadmill, some love it, some don't. Same with basketball, soccer, water polo and basket weaving. Whatever. Find something fun and do it - and keep doing it until it isn't fun anymore, then find something else. Bottom line keep moving.
    Rule #5 - log your food. i mean consistently. it helps.
    As for the eating at night part, I eat a banana and some popcorn on the way home from work and that helps me to make it through dinner preparation. After dinner, I may have a little snack and some milk, but that's it. If you eat 5 meals a day, you don't end up so ravenous at the end of the day.

    We all struggle, and we are here to help - friend me if you would like, I have an open diary to my friends. :)


    This is stuff that works for me, not necessarily you, but it works for me.
  • autumny70
    autumny70 Posts: 127 Member
    Hi Mary. I'm 43 and have been here since early March. I've lost 15 lbs since February-ish and have about 20 to go. I am a very angry hungry person, so starving myself won't ever work. My advice is to look up your BMR (basic metabolic rate) and TDEE (total daily energy expenditure based on your activity level) and set your goal manually to 15-20% less than your TDEE. Just Google BMR and TDEE calculators and a bunch pop up.
    My current goal is 1700 calories daily, and I'm losing 1/2-1 lbs a week. I'm not thinking of this as a diet at all, but trying to relearn portion sizes and reasonable eating. I haven't cut out anything, I eat mostly whole foods cooked from scratch (including potatoes, bread, rice and pasta) and make sure I have room for wine, chocolate and ice cream when necessary (these things ARE necessary for me to be happy:))
    Good luck and feel free to friend me (anyone)!