I'm new here, looking for some extra support!

Hi everyone!

I'm new to the whole "online" fitness/weight loss community thing, but I've heard it's a really positive thing and is really helpful in keeping motivated.. Like so many people, I've struggled with my weight for most of my life (started around age 13)... my first big weight loss began in the summer of 2002, I lost about 55 lbs just through diet alone (I was also doing the Herbal Magic program). By summer of 2003, I had gotten down to about 175 lbs, which for me was a good weight considering I'm 5'8" tall and have a bigger bone structure naturally. I pretty much maintained that weight for about two years, fluctuating anywhere from 5-10 lbs, but staying mostly in that range. When I saw my weight creeping back up to close to 190 lbs in late 2005, I got myself back in gear with a trainer and started becoming REALLY strict with my diet (fish, chicken, eggs, some fruit, very little carbs). By the summer of 2006, I was down to about 160 lbs. I'm not one to ever boast about myself, but I looked pretty darn fantastic during this time - I was literally turning heads, and I felt SO amazing about myself. It was then that I realized that the world really does treat you differently when you're thin (sad, but true). The lowest weight I ever got down to was 158 lbs, I was a size 8, fitting into size 29/30 jeans, and I literally could not get any smaller - I couldn't even pinch any fat on my sides anymore, because I was hitting bone. I looked and felt amazing. I swore to myself that I would never get fat again.

Then it all started going downhill, around the Fall of 2008. At first it was slow and then the weight seemed to pile on all at once. I'll spare everyone the details, but between career changes, work stress, personal stress/loss, my weight started to shoot right back up again. In short, I stopped caring about myself and my health, and I stopped making myself a priority. I started/stopped/started diet and fitness regimes since 2009, but I couldn't stick to anything. I'd make some progress, then sabotage myself again. I've tried just about everything. I finally hit my absolute LOWEST point last December - I weighed myself and was shocked to see I had ballooned to 262 lbs. I had gained an embarrassing 100 lbs in 4 years. I couldn't believe it. I was shocked, disgusted, angry, resentful, sad, miserable - every negative adjective you can think of. On top of looking terrible, I had no energy, couldn't sleep, didn't want to socialize, and was struggling with depression and anxiety. I realized I had to do something, once and for all.

I honestly couldn't figure out how I had managed to gain so much weight, considering I really don't eat that much... I admit I love carbs, potatoes, certain kinds of junk food, but the weight I had gained was really disproportionate to what I was eating. Coupled with the problems I was having with my energy levels, sleep and mood, my doctor decided to test me a thyroid imbalance, last December. Turned out, I have hypothyroidism - which means my metabolism is very slow. My doctor told me that could account for not only my tremendous weight gain, but also for my depression and anxiety. I had no idea that the thyroid literally affects EVERYTHING in our bodies, from our heads to our toes. I'm currently taking medication for it, and my levels have stabilized, but I will have to take this medication for the rest of my life.

In January, I made a resolution to start caring for myself again and commit to my health. I began eating well (no diet centres or fad supplements involved), and I made a huge personal, physical and financial commitment with a trainer 3-4 times a week, for one hour sessions. I signed up for personal training for an entire year, because I knew that was the only way I'd stay motivated. My trainer is fantastic, he really pushes me and gives me great advice in all areas. Since January 2nd, 2013, I have lost exactly 35 lbs. My goal was to lose 75 lbs by the end of the year, and six months in I am just shy of halfway to my goal! It has been SO hard, and many times I've gotten frustrated and wanted to give up, thinking there was no light at the end of the tunnel... but now that I'm really starting to see and feel results, I need to keep this going!

That's a big part of the reason why I'm here. I want to kick it up even more these next six months, and my hope is that by joining this community and being able to talk to people who are on the same journey, I will find the support and extra motivation I will need to see this through. No matter how much family or friends try to support you, only someone who has truly struggled to lose weight can understand what it takes (and how physically and emotionally gruelling it is) to make it through this journey.

I'm looking forward to communicating with people here, and to my continued success! To the next 35 lbs!