I find it really frustrating

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Wakefromsleep
Wakefromsleep Posts: 44
in Motivation and Support
This is not geared to one person on here in particular. I find people on MFP that do this just as much as my friends or co workers do. I find it so frustrating to have people tell you what to eat or how to eat while you are on your diet. If you are a doctor, nutritionist, or successful weight loss expert, that is one thing. However, if you are overweight or constantly cheating every other day, then don't try to give me advice on what to do. I have been doing hardcore exercise and being extremely faithful to my diet since I have started dieting a month ago. No cheating and no slacking on my exercise. I am not posting on here and b******* about why I am not losing weight. Don't tell me to eat more or less of something when you are eating garbage everyday. I can't believe some of the commenters on here offering help to newbies (like me) that say they will help and motivate, but are stating each day that they don't have time to exercise or can't seem to eat right to get back on track. Then, you offer justification when newbies say they cheated or want to cheat. Why? You encourage us that it's ok to cheat or skip exercise. That's bush league in my opinion. A lot of us are severely over weigh and desperate for help, so we don't need to get off track and think it is ok. Our brains are being reworked, so we need to be strict and disciplined. I just don't understand why some of my acquaintances in real life and on MFP would tell me what or how to diet...when you aren't following your own advice. You confuse us on how we are supposed to eat. Eat good during the day, but have a large mocha frappe from McDonalds because you had a stressful day..or I didn't eat breakfast or lunch, but I am going to eat a 1/2 pound bacon cheese burger, fries, and a beer for supper. Then, I am going to make up some excuse as to why I did that Monday and Tuesday, the give you advice on why you aren't losing this week. Maybe I am way off in left field by myself on this, but I am passionate about a new life, and I think a lot of people are doing an injustice to some of us. Some of our close friends and family can be blamed too. Some of you may not even realize you are doing it. There are a lot of super skinny or cut up people on here that have given me some amazing advice. There are also those of you that are still battling this weight loss war that have given some amazing advice as well. To you, I say thank you. I hope to be someone that can help and encourage newbies one day. I want to tell them about my struggle and let them know they can do it too. Thank you for listening to me on my soap box.

Replies

  • Alliwan
    Alliwan Posts: 1,245 Member
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    TL:DR

    paragraphs = readability
  • supermodelchic
    supermodelchic Posts: 550 Member
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    well said hun, and goodluck on your journey!!
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
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    You've been here since 2011 but started watching your diet a month ago?


    If you posted asking for advice, that's what you got. Some good, some bad.
  • MzManiak
    MzManiak Posts: 1,361 Member
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    It's not meant to sabotage anyone. It's not meant to be bad advice or rude... Severely restricting your diet or pushing yourself too hard on exercising can result in 1) not being able to maintain for life, as most of on here have come to realize is important and 2) harm to yourself, either in the way of developing an eating disorder, or physical hurting yourself. And then when they simply cannot take the severe restrictions anymore and go on an all out binge, they feel horrible, give up, go into depression and start the whole cycle over again. Some of us have just seen it, here on MFP and in real life, too often to just stand by and watch someone else head down the path.

    If someone is downright rude to you, please don't listen to them. But please keep in mind that most of the time if they are asking about your food or exercising... it's because they care. Really. Try not to be offended. You do not have to justify your choices, that is your decision. But you can't expect people not to reach out in a place as social as this one.

    I wish you the best of luck on your journey! :flowerforyou:
  • judychicken
    judychicken Posts: 937 Member
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    bump
  • ellaloveslove
    ellaloveslove Posts: 166 Member
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    paragraphs = readability

    Agreed
  • Wakefromsleep
    Wakefromsleep Posts: 44
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    It's not meant to sabotage anyone. It's not meant to be bad advice or rude... Severely restricting your diet or pushing yourself too hard on exercising can result in 1) not being able to maintain for life, as most of on here have come to realize is important and 2) harm to yourself, either in the way of developing an eating disorder, or physical hurting yourself. And then when they simply cannot take the severe restrictions anymore and go on an all out binge, they feel horrible, give up, go into depression and start the whole cycle over again. Some of us have just seen it, here on MFP and in real life, too often to just stand by and watch someone else head down the path.

    If someone is downright rude to you, please don't listen to them. But please keep in mind that most of the time if they are asking about your food or exercising... it's because they care. Really. Try not to be offended. You do not have to justify your choices, that is your decision. But you can't expect people not to reach out in a place as social as this one.

    I wish you the best of luck on your journey! :flowerforyou:

    Thanks for that. I've met a lot of good people on here. One dear friend brought to my attention that I wasn't eating enough calories each day. I had no idea. I was losing, so I was content with that. After reading her advice and researching, I did in fact see I was hurting myself. I like that advice. It is those private messages from people that really hurt your confidence. I'm new to this, so I don't know the proper way to do a good diet. It's a process.
  • pspetralia
    pspetralia Posts: 963 Member
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    He deactivated
  • tbetts23
    tbetts23 Posts: 303 Member
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    You sound hungry! LOL! Seriously though, some of us have been on here what seems like forever. Honestly, I was hoping to be at goal by now. Guess what? It didn't happen. But, I have been in the situation where I can say don't sweat the small stuff. A double quarter pounder with cheese is not the end of the world. It will not end your "journey" (and I hate that word). But, maybe our experience will help them keep moving forward:flowerforyou:
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
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    thanks for stopping by
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
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    TL:DR

    paragraphs = readability

    Yup
  • MzManiak
    MzManiak Posts: 1,361 Member
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    It's not meant to sabotage anyone. It's not meant to be bad advice or rude... Severely restricting your diet or pushing yourself too hard on exercising can result in 1) not being able to maintain for life, as most of on here have come to realize is important and 2) harm to yourself, either in the way of developing an eating disorder, or physical hurting yourself. And then when they simply cannot take the severe restrictions anymore and go on an all out binge, they feel horrible, give up, go into depression and start the whole cycle over again. Some of us have just seen it, here on MFP and in real life, too often to just stand by and watch someone else head down the path.

    If someone is downright rude to you, please don't listen to them. But please keep in mind that most of the time if they are asking about your food or exercising... it's because they care. Really. Try not to be offended. You do not have to justify your choices, that is your decision. But you can't expect people not to reach out in a place as social as this one.

    I wish you the best of luck on your journey! :flowerforyou:

    Thanks for that. I've met a lot of good people on here. One dear friend brought to my attention that I wasn't eating enough calories each day. I had no idea. I was losing, so I was content with that. After reading her advice and researching, I did in fact see I was hurting myself. I like that advice. It is those private messages from people that really hurt your confidence. I'm new to this, so I don't know the proper way to do a good diet. It's a process.

    I'm sorry you felt the need to deactivate your account. If you choose to re-register, please add me again. And make your diary, for only friends, so that only those who offer helpful and constructive advice and support have access to it. You can do it on your own, I know you can. But having support helps. x
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
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    Why are you dieting????? It's a lifestyle change, not a fad.
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
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    He deactivated

    Duh! Why?!
  • mmddwechanged
    mmddwechanged Posts: 1,688 Member
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    I'm over nineteen. I have a brain in my head. If I were to ask for advice I would be quite capable of understanding what may be helpful and what may not be. I have the ability to empathize and I believe that most people have good intentions whatever their advice may look like. Plus, I'm not a quitter.... Most of the time:p

    IOW: grow up.
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
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    probably spent years packing on the pounds then doesnt understand why he cant figure things out in a month?

    OP 1 month isnt nearly enough to figure this out in some cases. you gave up too soon. :(
  • fietsvrouw
    fietsvrouw Posts: 50 Member
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    You were one of the first people on my friends list. I have made a point of giving you an attaboy every time I see your post. I have not given you any advice. What I read when I read this screed is that in your opinion, some people are not good enough to be on your friends list.

    Who needs that? I certainly don't need to have to go over in my head whether I "let you down" or have failed to meet your expectations by not following my plan. Some people on my friends list are sticking to their plan. Some are binging and trying to make it up, some are struggling. I am in their corner to cheer them on, but their progress is their responsibility. I have kept to my plan, have not eaten anything not on it, have pushed the exercise, but if I had not, it is none of your business. And while I appreciate the support I have received, that is my responsibility and my victory.

    This screed irritates me - it makes it sound as though the people in your friends list are somehow responsible for your progress. If you are getting unsolicited advice, ask the person not to provide it. Or ignore it. Or unfriend them. Take some responsibility.
  • wkay99
    wkay99 Posts: 29 Member
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    I can certainly relate to how you feel. While I frequently read posts, I've rarely posted suggestions to others or asked for comments. Somehow, I feel like my weight struggle is my problem - with friends and family who can eat anything/everything all the time and not gain weight, I really get sick of hearing "it's not that hard, just watch what you eat and exercise more". Even more, I get really tired of monitoring everything all the time and knowing that I'll probably need to do that forever... So, I quietly look for tips and read success stories and hope to post success stories too. Hang in there...
  • GeekAmour
    GeekAmour Posts: 262
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