Another person's success = my downfall

leesh07
leesh07 Posts: 13 Member
in Motivation and Support
Falling off track is normal for me, but I can usually bounce right back after a day or so, but now it's a different story.

My mother currently went and had the bariatrics sleeve surgery and (even though I'm so happy for her) for some reason, I've been doing worse than ever since her surgery. I've been dieting and exercising consistently on this mission for about 6 months now.. at one point I was down 17 pounds, but now I'm back to being down 10.

My mom has lost 47 pounds in 3 weeks... I mean, I know she had surgery and like I said, really happy for her, but for some reason I'm just spiraling out of control on my diet now and don't know what to do. I have no motivation, I get so discouraged... blah, I don't know.

Just seeing if anyone else knows how this feels or has any tips for getting back on track? Or any new buddies want to add me for some motivational support?! :)

Replies

  • Sinarv
    Sinarv Posts: 7
    You can not base your success or down falls on any one else....be happy for your Mum and believe it or not your weight will come off again...its not a competition my friend....its a state of mind....by your pic....you certainly look young enough that you can get back on track quickly...come on now...kick yourself in the butt and get moving....don't be so hard on yourself....you go get moving now....and be kind to yourself..... :)
  • ehargis09
    ehargis09 Posts: 12
    The only thing you can do is get ahold of the reins and get back in control. You can only do this by changing your frame of mind. Remember, you lost that weight before - it's definitely within reach to lose it again and more! I think sometimes we fall out of our good habits because our inspiration wanes. Pinterest's "Health and Fitness" board really helps me. There are always motivational posters/images with truthful, powerful statements that really get me thinking, "Yes, I CAN do this."

    It is difficult to see others succeed when you start to slip, because if you're not careful that can spiral way out of control into serious self doubt of your own capabilities and success. The key is to not let it happen! Cheer your mother on, and cheer yourself on. Remember the big picture here...for you to get healthier. If that's what you want, then go for it, girl! :) You're only competing with yourself. You and your mother are two totally different people under totally different circumstances. She does need some support from her daughter, though. Try not to let it eat at you, okay? Be happy for her...she's getting healthier too, just like you.
  • Schlackity
    Schlackity Posts: 268 Member
    Mother-daughter relationships can be tricky. If you were food "buddies" in the past, it's hard to see her dropping weight so quickly while you struggle to lose a little at a time. You're taking two different paths to a common goal (losing weight and being/feeling healthier). Everyone has their own reasons for whichever weight loss path they choose and everyone loses at a different pace. Don't be too hard on yourself. Just focus on your own goal and keep plodding along. Your mom may be losing quickly, but you can show her how to maintain that loss by staying strong and steady.....and learning good habits that can stay with you for the future. Good luck....you can do it!
  • lcfairbairn74
    lcfairbairn74 Posts: 412 Member
    You say your mum had bariatric surgery. I wonder whether it was the fact that your mum underwent surgery, with all the risks and worries that involves, that made you veer off track. It could have been any type of surgery, just a coincidence it was weight related.

    That being said, you obviously do have motivation because you are back here, so take that as a positive starting point! I have been here for about 9 months, but am new to the concept of adding friends and find they motivate me and inspire me.....and make me laugh when it's a bad day!

    You can do this too! :flowerforyou:
  • howardheilweil
    howardheilweil Posts: 604 Member
    I wish your mom the best, but she is down 47 pounds because so soon after her surgery, her diet is extremely limited. Her long term success will depend on her ability to eat properly and exercise. Sound familiar?
  • luvs2teachincali
    luvs2teachincali Posts: 207 Member
    I can relate. I was just saying that I love reading up on the success boards....but....at the same time, I feel like they have figured something out that I haven't. Maybe that something is something really easy and small, maybe it's something really difficult and big.... whatever it is, I haven't figured it out yet. I have tried the TDEE calculations and increased my calories from 1200 to 1400 and that's when I stopped losing altogether. It seems what works for others doesn't or isn't working for me. Not sure why. People post that they are so in-tune with their bodies and I'm not. Not at all. Sigh.

    I am happy for those that have finally realized success. I am, truly.

    At the same time, I wonder why it's never me and if/when it ever will be.

    Yeah, I get it. Totally.
    Started end of May 2012 at 198. Mid-November was 169.5, one pound from being overweight rather than obese. Recommitted three weeks ago at 176. Last week's Sunday weigh-in way 177.5 and today's Sunday weigh-in 179. WTH?? BTW, I should say that I am eating less and moving more so I really don't know what gives. I know their is NO magic pill or simple answer, but at the same time....I have been battling the bulge since I was 10 or 11 years old. I'm almost 40. I have tried UMP-TEEN TIMES to lose weight. After awhile, you just can't help but wonder if you'll EVER "get it" like they do. How can I be so "old" and "mature" and yet still so UN-TUNED to my own body and what it needs to drop these pounds? Sigh.

    Add me if you want someone who understands and struggles too.

    GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!! :flowerforyou:
  • lyttmab
    lyttmab Posts: 87 Member
    Oh, Honey, I am so sorry! Yes, I can completely relate! It's hard to see the weight just drop off your mom so easily like that, and then you have to work SO HARD. I totally understand.

    Now, with that said, you have to remember she took a different way out . . . It's not nearly as hard as how we have to do it. I understand she went through major surgery, etc. but let's face it, you can't even compare the two battles. Her's (in the beginning) is a much easier one. It also sounds like she has far more weight to take off than you do. So of course, her's is a much bigger drop. BUT, just think of how rewarding it will be for you to reach that goal and feel so healthy, confident and proud! I'm sure your mom is proud of you, as well. I have 3 daughters and they are always my biggest cheer leaders. Try and be supportive of your mom. You didn't say in your post, but I'm assuming she is supportive of you and encourages you to be the healthiest you can be.

    Try not to be too hard on yourself, and remember that you have all of us! Get back on the horse, and ride with your head held high!

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